I’m not usually awake so late, and the infomercials are rather amazing. We just went through the man’s prostate problems, complete with the “talker” demonstrating the tool from the old days that they used to rotor rooter out a man’s urethra and prostate, and of course, how painful and bloody that choice was. Now this miraculous man, I never quite heard if he’s a medical doctor or not, but he’s come up with a painless, bloodless prostate enlarger that is supposed to be the bee’s knee’s.
I always wonder if these things are such a medical breaththrough, why aren’t we hearing about them on the evening news, CNN, or whatever your choice of news may be? Maybe they only want to advertise it at deep hours of the night so they can keep up with the orders.
Now we’re on another infomercial and this one is the maybe-a-doctor wants us all to cleanse our bowels with his special cleansing kit. If you use his kit, you can:
Rid yourself of smelly stools,
Eliminate more than twice per day,
Never have gas again,
Acne will be a dim memory,
Fewer or no more yeast infections (women only),
No bloated guts,
Fresh breath and healthier teeth,
At least one parasite lives in the intestine of each human being and this is the only way to remove it.
The “Dr.” went on to explain that our guts have thousands of little fissures and places to hide along their wrinkly, inside lining. The cheeseburger you had in 1984, or at least a small piece of it, could still be in your body, poisoning you and causing many of the above problems. This guy’s colon cleanser product will get you as shiny as a brand new Lexus inside. (Old cheeseburger bits would never dare try to hide in a Lexus.)
And that’s where I fell asleep.
In The Middle 