mystique’s manic mantras

I want to travel again….lose my thoughts…forget about the world….go back to the places I’ve already been through and relive the experiences – only this time, mindfully and more satisfactorily……in my own time….in my own way….

I’m fantacizing quietly sitting on the edge of a river, snaking through a small Swiss town, with my legs playfully dipping and splashing in the ice cold water gushing past in a ferocious torrent………

….taking in the magnificent view of snow capped Alpine range and the lush, green, rolling hills and breathing in the fresh, cold air in between bites of chips and pops of pure swiss chocolates…..ahh…bliss…

…..listening to the thunderous roar of the great Niagra Falls…feeling the cold touch of the mist arising from below…..

……looking out to the horizon, watching the sun dip into the Indian ocean while the pleasant breeze under the coconut trees soothes my senses……

……marvel at the magnificence of ancient times at the foot of the pyramids and the towering columns of the Karnak Temple….

I also dream of experiencing the freshness of the Hawaiian Islands, the serenity of Ladakh and Lhasa, the cultural melting pot of Turkey…..I want to see where the meeting point of the waters of the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean from the tip of the African continent…..cover the vastness of the Australian outback, jump with the masais and come in close proximity of the marvels of the Masai Mara.

Island hopping and a cruise would be a dream come true….Seychelles, Maldives, Mauritius…….the Carribean and the Mediterranean archipaelago…

Buzz my senses with the modernity of Japan, the overwhelming Great Wall of China, the adventures of the Rocky Road Mountain Rail of North America and/or the Palace on Wheels across India….

sighhh………..anywhere but here…………

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First of all, I should make a point here how thankful I am for dad and his resources, without which my dreams of travelling and experiencing renowned places would not have come about. I am also thankful that my family have it in them to appreciate natural wonders and treasures and would rather blow our pockets for a lifetime visual experience of an era long gone, than go on a senseless shopping spree like the majority of the people hailing from this god-forsaken country normally does when they go abroad.

“Egypt? Why Egypt? What’s there to see?” —– boss and another business associate asked me in disgust…

“Errr…the pyramids? mummies? the museum??…..” I trailed off when I realized who the hell am I telling all this to! I bet they are not even aware of the Pahroah’s mention in the Qur’an!

So from the travel wish list that included Hawaii, African Safari, Cape Town, Australia, New Zealand, The Orient, Morocco, Spain, Norway, The Great Wall of China, The Grand Canyon……………there was also Egypt and its antiquities – from where we recently got back from, after a week of walking, gasping, o-m-g-ing……basically, we came back awed (from the magnanimity of everything Pharoah), confused and shocked (trying to figure out how they built those structures and how the later generation preserved it), impressed (at the Egyptian government’s tourism industry), and of course, lighter in the pockets (it’s pretty damn expensive there!).

Instead of rambling on endless sentences and accounts of my trip, lemme just present the highlights of my hectic getaway, along with tips for those of you planning to visit the place…..

– Egyptian men in general are good looking – with the typical short very tight curly hair, sharp features, long curly eye lashes……..but once they fire off with their Arabic, they sound crude and aggressive. (now don’t scowl and wonder how I came up with the men as the first point:P )

– Egyptian lasses are pretty (even those with extra luggage)…well, for the most that I noticed and they sound the same as the above. Their routine garb comprises of very tight, fitting tops over jeans or long skirts, worn with boots and proper hard weather overcoats. What I could not understand however, was the scarf tightly wound around their head, covering the hair but exposing the face and neck. Talk about Islamic modesty with western trendiness!

– The most horrifying and annoying part you will be subjected to is the way they harrass you for tips, and the way they have put a ticket (min. 20 LE max 100 LE) in everything that has to do with Pharoahs. They will literally corner you and tug you at the arm for tip (even in the tombs for which you have already paid almost 100 LE). The ones in the toilets (btw, no one has heard of what a ‘washroom’ is over there) will intentionally keep the tissues and ask for extra money if you need it, otherwise the tip is compulsory – regardless if the toilet is clean or not. Some toilets are not equipped with a muslim shower or an extra tap for that matter – while some other have this weird looking metal pipe protruding from the centre of the pot. I figured it serves the same function as a bidet does. (now go google bidet!)

– The most impressive bit, apart from the antiquities, is the way the Egyptian government has cashed in on their tourism industry. Apparently, 60% of the people in Egypt work in the tourism industry, 30 % in farming, remaining 10% constitutes bankers, doctors etc. Tickets to enter a site will cost an average 50 LE (x18 Rs) – seeing the royal mummies costs 100 LE! It was amusing to think how we havent cashed in on our Mughal architectures! Last time I went to Lahore Fort three years ago, the ticket was for 20 Rs. Wagah border should also start ticketing. This way, the butt grabbing, drooling, oggling, back / front brushing roadside romeos will be eliminated. And of course, there will be funds for the upkeep of the places.

– Their 4 star hotels is equivalent to the international 1-2 star standard. A small, cold cup of tea will set you back almost Rs. 100 – that too not karak.

– There are more tourists than locals, more foreign language spoken than Arabic, currency is either in US dollars or Egyptian pounds wherever you shop/buy, there are more tour buses than local transport, it is likely that you will run into some group you had seen at the pyramids/museum/temple/tomb etc at a lunch/dinner in a restaurant or shopping centre.

– Just like we have the dedicated traffic wardens here, they have a dedicated Tourism Police force there, who rudely refuse to take pictures with you! Weird! Every hotel has one on 24/7 duty who will keep a tab on the tourist guests’ wherebouts. If you get on a tour bus, they will check documents and papers first before letting you go. If you get in a private transport, they will interrogate, and if you’re lucky, will let you go but with the condition that you will report back when you return.

– No matter what you wear, how much skin you show…no one will eye you top to toe…not even the Egyptians.

– For a small bottle of water costing 8 LE (multiply by 18 for Rs) – you have to pay at least 2 LE to pee it out 😛 This was a major issue I had to face, even with the reduced water intake.

–  You will need at least a day each to cover the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, the Karnak and Luxor Temples and the Valley of the Kings and Queens in Luxor, and at least two days to discover Alexandria.

– Best option would be to take the 3 / 7 nights cruise from Luxor down to Aswan for the majestic Abu Simbel Temple, stopping by numerous sites along the way. Keep at least 2 days for Cairo.

– All international brands are available there. Shopping malls can very well contest with the grandness of those in Dubai. While shopping, the currency conversion will sure pinch you.

– When in the local bazaars and with hawkers, you have to BARGAIN! If they quote 100 pounds, go straight for 10 pounds. Trust me….they will run after you and give it to you for that much! It’s always good to survey the whole bazaar first before buying anything. Important words of advice…do not trust your tour guide when she/he tells you that they know the shop owner and that they will give good discount. Trust me – you will get looted! I should know!

– Shopkeepers (at bazaars) in particular are big flirts. Do not get fooled by their charm and overtures. When I was told “you look very bretty, you look Egyptian!” – I scowled at him and walked off! Am bet they say that to everyones! Even dad was mistaken for an Egyptian. The best part, in their sweetest voice and charming style, they will invite you to look at their wares saying “let me help you spend your money!’ – and motion (read as force) to take you inside the cramped shop, “come! come inside! have a look! come!” in a tone that only reminds me of the paedophiles and serial killers in movies!

– Since you have come all the way to Egypt, you have to go inside the pyramid (provided you don’t have a back problem since you have to bend, have breathing problem, since there is no ventilation and it can get suffocated inside, and claustrophobia, since the passage way is just narrow enough for one person to go one way), go inside the tombs, look at the mummies, examine the heiroglyphs on the walls. Alexandria has it’s own Greeco-Roman history and treasures – the library is a must and so is the Qaitbay Citadel and a walk on the corniche kissing the clear blue Mediterranean Sea. If you have time, go see the famous Suez Canal and the catacombs.

– Egypt is not complete without Luxor. This is the main seat of the Pharoahs – where they out did each other with their towering temples  and statues and where they are laid to rest. King Tut’s celebrated tomb is located here, containing his mummy and one of his three sarcophagi (will cost you additional 100LE to go inside his tomb). Take in as much as your neck (for looking up at the towering structures), feet (for all the walking) and brain (figuring out how they came up with all that) can take with an excursion through 3500 yrs old ruins in the largest open air museum in the world, the Karnak Temple.

– Cairo’s visit will not be justified without a visit to the Cairo Museum. The contents inside is surreal. They have a full wing housing the treasures found in Tutankhamon’s tomb.

– Egypt is synonimous with the river Nile and papyrus. Lunches and dinners can be had while the boat takes you up and down the river. Papyrus with varied imprints makes good souvenirs and gifts to take back home.

– Aswan is known for the Aswan Dam and the collosal temple built by carving into a mountain by the builder Pharoah Rameses II. We missed this one since we ran out of days.

– I recommend that you pick up a nice book on Egypt – even if it’s expensive, it’s surely worth it – especially when you go through the pages and realize that you have been in those places and seen those pieces personally!

I’m still not over the harrassing for tip and especially for toilet use. Gulf Air sucks, but then again, Emirates was charging twice as much. I’m particularly amazed at the systemization and operations regarding the handling of the tourist influx. Every tour guide knows at least two foreign languages, English being one. You get to hear them speaking Japanese, Italian, French, German and even Malabari!! What is more impressive is that everyone abides to the rules. When it says ‘no photo’ like inside the museum and the tombs, majaal hai ke someone with a camera hanging on their neck or a camera phone in their pocket will take a shot!

There is a 40 mins sound and light show at the Pyramids and Luxor Temple every night, in variouis languages taking turns. I think for 75 LE, it’s just a waste of money. Seeing the place during the day is more than enough.  

To save on cash, take along a small iron, a small kettle, chai ka samaan, if you are a chaii addict like us that is, and get your water stock from a small shop away from the hotel. Always carry along a water bottle with you with some snacks. Tuck shops at museums and sites costs 10 times than they normally do. Same goes for the airport.

If you are outbound from here, do not trust the travel agents. They are oblivious of many major things. Do your own research and jot down your itenerary, then consult the travel agent. We were misguided and ended up wasting almost half of the expenses we had to incur. Thomas Cook reps might still be the best choice.

…and most important of all, don’t forget the camera with extra memory cards. A day’s tour will run you to atleast 350 pictures 🙂 We came back with over a thousand!

All in all, the impromtu getaway with the family was much needed and did us all good, alhamdulillah!

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