I wrote this protest poem in 2016 in response to the degrading ‘Worlds Oldest Oppression’ Conference in Australia. I have been retired from the sex industry for years now with absolutely no regrets 😊
The NDIS cutbacks have distressed our child and family and many, many others who are also put at risk. NO respite care, NO overnights, NO external care (outside the family home) and NO emergency respite care which equals NO LIFE! Our child is affected the most and we are all harmed by the lack of support services. Our child has severe intellectual disabilities, is non-verbal, incontinent and an extremely high risk vulnerable child. Our family, and many others like us, have extreme carer burnout. Expensive, overpriced reports and recommendations are ignored, unread, overlooked or simply dismissed! One could also argue that there is a correlation between vaccines and the horrendous sharp rise in ill-health statistics across the board including intellectual disabilities. I believe this is due to government negligence, forced mandates, and a trend towards depopulation NO MATTER THE COST to families! Families are being forced to relinquish their children to the state at an estimated cost (for our child) of over $1.5 MILLION per year EVERY YEAR! We are not asking for that amount of support. How then, is it cost effective when we are asking for $500k per year, which is what our reports have deemed NECESSARY to maintain adequate care for our child and ourselves? Our annual fund went DOWN from $178k to $172k and all of our respite care was REMOVED! How is this legal? How does this meet NDIS care standards when what we are asking for falls into their category of FAIR and REASONABLE, NECESSARY FUNDING?
I am so proud to announce that my first children’s book is coming along nicely. Here is the book cover with all of us in the lounge. Myself as Mama J, Matty as Dad, Atlas, Looby and Lucy 😁
I am proud to announce that one of my children’s stories has been picked up by Austin McCauley Publishing in the United Kingdom.
My story LOOBY – Get Out of the Way! is almost ready for release. The illustration concepts have been done and a release date is imminent.
I am so excited! It’s been a dream of mine for years. I have written 14 children’s stories, all up. I am hoping that these will also be published some time down the track.
Below, are some of the illustrations for the book. Keep an eye out for the release date and links for where you can purchase in hard and soft copy and audio book. Jx
I think the most painful thing in the world is to witness humanity and especially ourselves and our loved ones, stuck, in the false illusion of the world that is sold to us through royalty, religion, secret societies, corporations and government institutions. I have watched powerful loved ones being circled like prey by liars, false prophets, corrupt families and debauched institutions, who will all say and do anything to keep that person close where they can be controlled, even under the guise of doing God’s holy work, so that they do not break free and thrive independently of them. This person is their Midas, their Saviour, their modern day cash cow and their biggest threat. He cannot be allowed to break free of his shackles — least they all end up dead in his wake when he finally does wake up. I hope he wipes them all out once and for all. The world will be a much better place for it. I’m on his side and this is why.
What most people don’t realize is that our elite, royal families and those with powerful blood lineages in positions of power, have kept some significant ancient knowledge of humanities divine birthright and the actual story of our creation, hidden from us and especially the why we were created in the first place, which provides the context for this article. There are devious and calculated reasons for obscuring the truth from the masses. Not everyone is considered worthy of having this knowledge and power and the wealth it generates. Once exposed, not everyone will want it either. Some of us prefer to have nothing to do with the heinous system of things in the world and for damn good reason. They know that if we knew what they did, we wouldn’t want a bar of it either and that threatens their agenda for ultimate power and control. When we no longer need them, we are truly free and they no longer have slaves to do their dirty work lining their pockets. We can create our own destiny. Trying to achieve this and escape the matrix, is like playing the game of metaphorical snakes and ladders.
Everything in our world from the day we are born, has been designed to indoctrinate you into a system that only serves the royal elite blood families in every continent of the world. I am leaving nothing and no one out. This includes our governments and religious institutions — arguably the most powerful platforms in the world, designed to control the masses and perpetuate the illusions of freedom and salvation but also our giant corporations and media mogul’s. It is true that our beloved world is owned by certain families and exploited for all it is worth. We are mined of our energy and sucked dry by vampires in clan colours, all in the name of God.
What if I told you that the hidden ancient knowledge we need to see and understand in order to evolve as humans, is actually right there in front of us and on display in full sight all over the world? It is. To the sleepers of the world, this knowledge will appear ludicrous, a conspiracy, crazy and the powers that be will fuel this narrative but for those of us who seek enlightenment, the evidence is there if you choose to search for it. It requires nerves of steel and a belief that we can forge our own pathways to freedom, spiritual enlightenment and ultimately our own salvation, without complying to mainstream coercion, delusion and mass hysteria.
The world we live in, will have you believe that we are free to choose, that we all have free-will but I beg to differ. We are only free to choose based on options that are permitted by the laws of the land and sea and by religious dogma’s as outlined within confusing and misleading religious texts such as in the Bible, Quran, Torah, Dhama and the Veda. What’s worse, is that they will all have us perpetuate their negative agenda’s for them, and unwittingly be the makers of our own demise. The truth is, we can be a lot freer and become more enlightened but it means stepping off the grid and away from the matrix and finding our way back to nature and community. By doing so, we can raise humanities collective consciousness by following the principles of unconditional love, empathy, compassion and faith.
What we are witnessing today, is story in the making. An en masse spiritual awakening is occurring across the Earth where people are now questioning the establishment and all of it’s ruses, looking for explanations and answers, looking deeper within themselves and searching for a more meaningful purpose to our otherwise stressed, oppressed, subjugated, exhausted, traumatised, ill, fragmented and painful lives, outside of mainstream’s agenda. The establishment knew this would happen eventually and why we are seeing the Great Reset of the new millennium in the Age of Aquarius start with a mass depopulation cull. A manmade, genocidal germ warfare distraction designed to be the catalyst to bring in and entrench a New World Order.
Our religious and government institutions are involved in a heinous cover-up and have been using various platforms to maintain an established, elaborate form of control that is designed to serve only their agenda. One of World Domination. They have hidden pertinent information about who they are, deliberately and they laugh at us by parading symbolic, often heinous truths in public, right under our noses. These people have no love in their hearts for humanity. They are the evil in the world that they want us to denounce and also the ones that we mistakenly worship today. Once you understand this deception, you can not go back to fumbling your way through life, blind. It is impossible. What it does do however, is force you to choose a side and your soul and the after-life depends upon it.
They are about to take away even more of our freedoms and rights, by dropping the petro-dollar in favour of digital currency, making new laws to aid and abet the roll out the digital age under the guise of bringing humanity into a more modern era. Yes, an era of complete control is about to be rolled out by the most powerful people and organisations in the world. Once this happens, we will be trapped forever within the matrix and forever at their mercy (and literally the flick of a digital switch) if we fail to conform — and we will cease to exist anywhere within their system when we do. Good luck surviving that, unless you are aware and prepared for what is about to come and get off the grid as quickly as possible. This should be your number one priority. We need to be prepared for what is most certainly coming our way. We are at war but this Third World War is actually a spiritual one disguised within the digital era.
Their power is frightening. Make no mistake, and they are legion who will chew you up and spit you out without a care in the world and convince you that you are to blame for your own ignorance and downfall. They will try to convince you that you are worthless, undeserving, wretched and everything undesirable but they are wrong. They are pure evil and they want you to stay ignorant of this information. For most of the world population, this is an inconceivable claim I am making and it will create a huge cognitive dissonance to the majority of you who go about your daily lives none the wiser. Ignorance is most definitely bliss but I am not alone in working some of these things out for myself.
They do not want us to know about the role we play in their game of life, their game of snakes and ladders, their quest for immortality, their lust for children, their hunger for the flesh. This would mean the end of their power but it could also mean the start of a spiritual revolution, if you could only open your eyes. Make no mistake about it, we are at war. The time of Revelation and the End of Days are indeed upon us. We are the chosen ones who have been incarnated on this world, in this lifetime, in these vessels in order to shine a light on the wickedness of this world and raise our collective spiritual consciousness. In the following chapters, I will be discussing some of our ancient texts, creation theories, myths, the Anunnaki, Sirius the Dog/God star, the Ophiuchus, the snake and also sex trafficking, paedophilia, cannibalism, spirit cooking, adrenochrome harvesting, blood magic and murder. The evidence of it is everywhere in our societies, once you know what you’re looking at. Once you see, it will be impossible for you to unsee but you will have enough new information to be able to make new informed decisions and take the power back.
Nihilism gnaws at Persephone as she surrenders the last of her love to the darkness. She knows Hades will welcome her there; place a crown upon her enlightenment.
She wrestles with catastrophe.
Despair, wraps her arms around her and comfort finds a home in the familial wasteland of the Great Lost. Confusion offering up the last dying shards of illumination into the nothing.
She sinks to an all-time low.
She is broken beyond words, an unimaginable state of being, untenable suffering refusing to let go rendering her moot.
She trusts in the All of everything.
Right time, right place airs grace her presence and she is alone once again. This is her destiny? If only she could be happy here.
As above, so below.
Demeter is not stupid, knowing she must fall in order to rise, she feels compelled to find Persephone dwelling in the dark and look to the beauty hidden there; her ability to love dependant.
‘Fuck me!’ she yells.
They say no pain, no gain; no light without dark but the world burns while she waits for it all to end and it can’t come fast enough! Demeter can’t believe she signed up for this hell hole.
‘You can all suck my phantom dick!’
In the meantime, soul searching becomes a crash course on survival for their demise. Demeter wishes — magical thoughts skip the tutorial and head straight back home where Psyche pours her a cup of sweet leaf tea.
This too shall pass.
The aftermath will give her a reprieve, a reason to put one foot in front of the other and leave those betrayers behind. Solitude giving her security in the end. A simple life if she can find a way to live.
Give thanks and gratitude.
But what about anger? Persephone wants to continue to die on her own terms, admitting defeat. Demeter, channels her wrath only to mourn winter’s womb and Psyche’s heart beat only for Cupid, yet she is not worthy of love. Everything is an illusion, a false construct by design.
It is only through death we find life.
The only life Persephone wants, is with Hades — conditional love built upon mistrust and betrayal. What hope is left for the rest of us when that’s all there is on offer?
She sat looking out, watching the wind berate the trees, watching the stretched leaves wrestle; it looked a lot like holding on for dear life, before the next calm came, if it came.
She allowed her mind to wander, to question, likening it to the meaning of life, and death, savouring the Earth’s language as if it was her last breath and it would eventually be.
Perhaps then she would come to understand her place in the world, come to an understanding a little too late, that she had actually belonged here all along — but she doubted it. Her life was as fragile as those leaves.
For her, she found only small relief in the concept of belonging to something bigger than her self. Her existential crisis was more like a distraction and the more she questioned her existence, the more she felt separate from it.
She reduced herself to a single leaf, flapping uncontrollably in the wind before it finally detached, or was it ripped away? Either way, she was lost.
A spot of blight upon the earth, that’s all it was, a contagion that needed to be isolated. Nothing clung to her, in her minds eye, or was it that she didn’t cling to it? Whatever it may be. A mere leaf, or speck in the grand scheme of things unbeknownst to her.
No matter how hard she tried to feel at home, here, looking out into the magnitude of life in her own backyard, she could feel herself dying by the minute. She wanted it all to end.
It was a desolate time.
There were so many other thoughts she could have, but like the wind and the autumn leaves, they were at the mercy of that something bigger, that threatened to tear her apart. Hope for a life worth living, felt moot.
She sat looking out — and finally it started to rain.
The Joker
plays his cards then prays
for forgiveness
to a middle eastern Christian God
before hurling abuse
to those who aren’t white
professing to love women
secretly harbouring unfathomable hate
suppressed rage
staring Red indifference in the face
of reason, his reason
an excuse for payback; vindictive
retribution designed to maximize
powerfully charged emotional punches.
♧
I have loved more than once
choosing my heart over head
batting eyelids deflecting
eggs scrambling to make sense
of the impossible scenario
time after time questioning
my self refusing to settle for anything
less than truth
watching loved ones turn
roll over, pulling the wool
over already unseeing orbs
holding on to contempt for love
lost
♤
Death has defined me
grief ripping me apart
till I am stripped bare and
‘The Joker’ plays me for a fool
his denial hardly concealed now
his truth defining him in the end
hidden underneath a facade
charm dangerously like a predators
false sense of security
when his hands are tied
his dirty hands
he tries to launder abrasive
repeatedly.
♢
Money
the root of all evil
threatens to ignite the paper trails
that have us entwined
enmeshed together by banks
loans and fine print
our future only leased
the balance drains the half full cup
sentiment caught never to be released
that Holy Grail
proving to be forever out of reach
what chance did we have?
the die has been cast.
♡
My love
my darling
you were my everything
my beautiful sweet illusion
my heart aches for remembering you
how you were before you changed colour
I fell head over feet for you and yours
grazing my knee in the process
I succumbed, numbing my defenses
getting back up being pushed back down
losing another fragment of hope
each time threatening don’t
now, the joke is on you.
All those beautiful things about you
that glittered like gold; your face,
a ray of fucking sunshine
portending our future
happiness, growing old together.
I crave to see your smile, fall
about the place laughing.
I look back through photographs,
those ones on the balcony
encapsulating you against a green backdrop
when we were ecstatic, tripping
over our good fortune pleasured to meet,
makes me weep now.
I loved you so much it’s unbearable
witnessing our demise.
I chastise my foolishness,
choosing to believe in love – you,
I would do anything to turn back time,
start over knowing what we know now,
hold on to that part of us
that was true, before
reality ripped me a new one
and I belly flopped into despair.
My eyes search for you everywhere,
in my rearview
to steal a glance, catch a glimpse
to see if you remember me, re-ignite
one final psychic spark
awakening those butterflies.
I don’t want the dawn to sing to me.
I long to dream rainbows and fairy floss
instead of axe handles / switch blades
cutting off my head,
dismembering my brain stem
from my heartbeat for you.
Some days I look for ways I can feel,
my fingers frantic
without prying ears interfering
and I ride you into rhythm; doublets
triplets and fours
before I stare transfixed
into the silent night – did you feel anything?
I don’t like this, nastiness unbecoming
it’s not how I want to remember you
but it’s all you’ve ever known.
It’s not too late to salvage respect
putting it all down to folly, our hurt
doesn’t need to scar, on par
with adolescent angst.
I love all those who have gone before
each finding that special place
lodged in the spaces between
the good, the bad and the ugly.
Forgive me, for I will in time; make
it all worthwhile.
I want you to be happy,
successful and content.
Please don’t fall back into line,
choosing thugs for pittance —
you’re worth more than pseudo security
it’s all bullshit, that old way.
You are made for enlightenment
not eternal darkness.
I still love you the way I remember you,
I just don’t believe in the Devil.
Wrap me in a padded cell
so I may kick
& flail
eke out my existence
purge my maelstrom,
those configured fires
left to smoulder
in relative calm
bound by containment.
I strain every sinew
to breaking point
every muscle to burn
my cognisance; fragmented
Freudian slips
of recognition
rubbed raw.
I will break free.
Stretch the threads
of my fabric,
my very being
so that I may ignite
the Phoenix
to take on life
& soar.
My thoughts are like charred embers;
reminiscent remains
of a Godless era,
mountains of mole hills
set in the West
cast shadows
my gauntlet
rearing its ugly head.
What will become of her?
My desolation, left
to wander this Papa
where great lakes
threaten to burst
their asides
remind us
we are at Her mercy
but to fail is not an option.
Deliverance stands
turning on my heel
to where the sunrise
promises more
than just to warm
my bones
hope, skipping pebbles —
perhaps to sail?
Riding the salt & pepper coast,
my salvation avoiding
complex low pressure systems
preferring to watch the Seagulls
negotiate on my behalf
squalls rolling
in my wake.
Mollymawks
crash land burly trails
full of anticipation
my Mull
living on a prayer
an easy meal
but not without compromise
black, white & grey.
Pre-determined destinations
finding solace
at the end of the Earth,
Aurora Australis
leading me
not into temptation
for Albatross are always on the lookout
searching the sea.
*
Sandal-less feet
pale skin tinged olive,
doves on a distant spire
cooing a lull; my cradle,
rocks
a fishing line
tied to my big toe
where everything is as it should be.
This head fuck
of name calling
of twisted tattle tales
designed to enlighten
denial, woefully inadequate
thoughtless mistakes.
Repeat
Repeating
Sorry, like an episode
for Days of Our Lives
sitcom reruns running
us around everyday
almost all day
serially on a brim
full of bullshit
on a 45.
Repeated
Bullshit,
as much as toward myself
as arrogance is arrogant —
my head is a
spinning vortex gaining
cyclonic ferocity; something
akin to time travel
on fast forward.
Repetition
Repeats
Repeating
The same old same old
he said she said
you said I said
till one said too many flew
over the fucking cuckoo
to nest – resting
between my ears
stuffing my fingers.
Repeatedly
Measuring spoons
gauging the airs
and graces; my presence
testing the water
temperature finding
temperament doused
in acidic
misogyny.
Just fucking stop it!
Fucking stop it!
Stop it!
STOP!
So it seems, three and a half years of Hell with nothing left to show for it, except heartache and pain watching love leach from my soul; phosphorescent, sparks like spheres float up, up and away to fizzle out in to nothingness.
Since when did I become the enemy?
Clumped into the annuls of misogyny tarred / scarred for being a woman empowered because I threaten the old ways where women were barefoot and pregnant, swathed in floral aprons with floured hands kneading wholesome Madonna complexes designed to subdue.
I love
depth and passion moving my heart to where I am mesmerized in awe; my fragile smile let loose like an arrow straight and true into you and I, jubilant where I am left wondering where you have been all my life – that I would do anything for you.
I love my self more,
and I am not broken completely. I can take those looks of contempt along with those cutting words and stand my ground against interrogation/subjugation I lead myself in cycles, navigating my way out of ear shot for a while till I can stand it no more, when I hide away inside and stuff my fingers.
All is not lost,
despite my sense of guilt at not being strong enough in your eyes, unlike grandma whom you adored, admiring resilience I am merely a shade by comparison if I subscribed to your anger and hurt if I took her on and became a better person, wife, mother for you if only I chose to keep my mouth shut like she learned in the war.
I don’t believe
staying silent will keep us alive these days. Life requires I fight for truth, freedom, rights and for love so you may find your self, lifted from those ashes – Dachau, and understand that women need tenderness, a kindness that takes away the hurt of injustices, finding safety your arms filling me with hope that I am not alone.
It is with great sadness
that I must choose love, letting go the innocence of youth and embrace my own mortality if I am to be a survivor. I cannot condone atrocities of any kind and turn a blind eye without losing that part of myself that wanted to die, finding respect in being true to myself Lest We Forget.
I am mourning
a life of trials and tribulations that had me in tears for the most part. My heart is broken, I no longer believe in you, us – I am setting fire to the 3rd mar closing my eyelids on my dreams facing those feelings I have been too afraid to feel reaching in to pull them out into the open and lay myself bare so I can finally heal.
Poetry Out West 