Chocolate Sheep

First of all, I hope this post looks okay. On my end it’s not showing up with the usual font or even in the usual size; I have made some adjustments so that I can better see it as I type. Maybe that won’t make a difference on your end at all. Maybe it WILL. But the words should be the same.

Today I went driving around in the frigid cold to (a) buy a typewriter; (b) buy groceries; (c) buy dinner; (d) buy a pair of boots; (e) all of the above; (f) none of the above; (g) not enough information to answer the question; (h) entirely too many answers from which to choose.

The correct answer is (e), though some of the latter choices will also receive partial credit.

I went out in the afternoon to “look at” (code in the typewriter-collecting community for “purchase without even testing”) a typewriter that I saw last week on Facebook Marketplace. I want to assure you that I have studiously avoided looking at Facebook Marketplace listings for WEEKS. And then, a few days ago, I was on Facebook and I noticed that the Marketplace icon had what looked like notifications on it. What, I wondered, could that be about?

And I clicked on the icon and I saw “listings for you” and I scrolled just a little bit down, and there was this turquoise-body Underwood described as a “1960s typewriter” for all of $20, and before I knew it I was chatting with the seller and saying things like, yes, busy on Saturday, oh yes, it’s quite cold, but maybe Sunday would work.

So, here is the seller’s photo of a 1956 Underwood Golden Touch. She warned me that it would need some work in order to function properly. She is correct; you can see the misalignment in the front panel, and whatever caused that is keeping the keys from being able to move the type bars. It also needs a good cleaning to get rid of grease and all the gunk that grease attracts. I’ll get there when I get there. She doesn’t have a name yet (according to Eldest the typer is a “she”), and I’m taking suggestions.

Anyway, after I picked up the paper-bag-enclosed typewriter in a cash transaction outside a bar by the bed of the seller’s pickup, which a local passing driver did NOT hesitate to mention, I was off to Farm & Fleet to look for a new pair of boots. I’m not talking about elegant boots like those worn by some of the faculty members on my floor, cowboy boots, or English riding boots like other friends wear, but good ol’ winter boots to wear while shoveling the snow out of the driveway. I think I bought my most recent pair a couple of years ago, which probably means I’ve had them for four years or so. I bought them at Fleet Farm (shh! don’t tell Farm & Fleet) and they are now wearing out from the inside: the liner is torn, and every time I put my left foot in and pull my left foot out it makes the hole bigger and it can’t keep the cold out. Enough of this hokey pokey, I thought; get a new pair of boots already.

Buying boots was complicated enough when my feet had a normal shape and they were size 9-1/2. Now I have the bunion on one foot and the bunion-to-be on the other, with my big toes growing sideways and forcing the smaller toes to bunch up. Get a size 10? Not big enough. Find a 10 Wide? Impossible.

Okay, I thought, I will give up and shop the men’s boots. A men’s 9 should fit me and be practical. I saw these amazing boots that were on sale for $35.99. I actually picked one up before I had a flashback to my years working at JCPenney and calculated how much these boots cost to manufacture if they could sell them for any profit at $35.99. (This is the same reason I don’t buy $5 toasters and you shouldn’t, either.) I also noticed that they still had quite a lot of this brand of boot, in three styles, on the shelves in the middle of winter. Nobody wanted them, and there was probably a good reason. I didn’t want to have to spend “boot money” twice.

I moved on to a men’s boot from a manufacturer that I vaguely recognized. The price suggested to me that it was a better-made boot. I put it on…and was shocked to realize that it had a substantial heel, so much so that I couldn’t walk in it without pitching forward. Having a heel is probably essential for someone who rides a motorcycle. But not for me.

That eliminated the rest of the men’s boots from consideration. Back to the women’s section. There weren’t many choices — just two, I think — but one boot looked just right. (It also looked very similar to the boots I was currently wearing, but that is not the point.) And one of the pairs…went to 11.

Then there was grocery shopping and a run through the Culver’s drive-though before I could be home again and check out the new old typewriter. What can I say? I’m a sucker for things from the 50s.

In the Impossible Read, I am on the verge of diving into the Stephen Mitchell text of Gilgamesh. Did I write that last week, too? Well, I’m still on the verge. A lot of last week’s free time was spend trying to get the car started, keep the car safely on the road, and not hit deer. Then there was the time spent trying to get help so the water pipes in the house didn’t freeze and burst in the frigid, frigid cold. (It was a near thing.) That takes up more time than you think, and it turns out to be pretty important.

I also scared the heck out of the deer that were chowing down at the corncrib on Friday afternoon. Most of them ran away as I walked up the driveway towards them, but a few of them didn’t get the memo. One was so startled when it finally saw me ten feet away that it lost its footing and fell on its… well, you know. It wasn’t limping when it finally ran off, so I assume that I didn’t cause it any permanent damage.

Anyway, I didn’t spend a lot any time reading Gilgamesh last week but I finished reading Hidden Wyndham and I, um, checked out some more library books and rearranged my bookcases. They also serve who rearrange the books for more efficiency.

Knitwise, I have cast on for the hat. If you know any knitters, you may already know several people who have already cast on for it or are about to do so.

I know some people who are standing outside in the cold, holding up signs that encourage love, kindness, and justice and discourage hatred, bigotry, and terror. Last week I became one of these people. (The photos were shared on Facebook and you should see what kind of names you get called for asking people to be kind!)

Anyway, it’s cold out there. These hats send a message but they also warm the ones we love, who are now at more risk for doing the right thing than I ever could have imagined. Buying the pattern on Ravelry as I did — or purchasing it as a gift for someone else — sends $5 to help businesses in Minnesota who have been, to put it lightly, adversely affected by recent events in their communities. It’s not just Minneapolis. The Twin Cities seem to be the only places making the news, but awful things are happening across Minnesota and in other states as well. Don’t get distracted or misled. The awful things need to stop everywhere. Now.

Let’s take care of each other and keep each other warm. We’re knitters. We know how to do this. And we know we should do this. So let’s do it.