I don’t intentionally observe people. Many writers I know, and know of, people-watch to get ideas for their work. Little nuances, memorable dialogue, facial expressions, odd or interesting actions. And I get why they do it. Maybe someday I’ll do the same.

But, for now, I’m content to distance myself from strangers. That is why it is confusing to me why I care about a stranger I know. Odd thing, isn’t it – knowing a stranger? Someone I thought I knew has become a stranger and it irks me. Not the changing part – change is a natural and inevitable part of human character – but I feel sad for a person who becomes someone they’re not, and quickly. As if being one’s true self is so abhorrent that the only way to salvage life is to become someone else – or an alteration of a former self.

We are never truly, completely honest with each other – or ourselves. We tend to reserve parts of ourselves – our true wants, desires, goals, beliefs, and experiences – because we don’t think people will understand, or they’re embarrassing, or shameful. That’s human nature. But, convincing those around you that you are completely fine and über content in life – happy-go-lucky and the most upbeat, positive, and good person in the world – while things are falling apart, crashing in around you, because of decisions made, is ridiculous and an insult to my intelligence and any emotional tie – however weak it’s always been – we have.

It’s okay to admit mistakes. To not be perfect. To be yourself. To not put on a new face and act like everything’s okay when things are most certainly not. But accountability is important, too. Even if you’re just holding yourself accountable. It is on each of us, individually, to own up to what we do, and to learn and grow. But if we live a faux life and pretend reality doesn’t exist, we’ll just end up worse than we ever were. I say this because I’m human and I’ve made mistakes – big ones, too. I learned from them and I grew as a person. I had to admit to myself that I was wrong and try to figure out why I made those mistakes and how I could fix or grow from them. Self-reflection is an incredible tool. We can learn so much about ourselves if we bother to question why we do the things we do.

It’s okay to be ourselves. We do not have to adapt to someone else’s interpretation of our lives to fit in, to be loved, or to be accepted. If we do, we’re surrounding ourselves with the wrong people.

Do you live with the truest version of yourself you’re capable of, or do you take on a different persona when it suits you or those around you?