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1. that boy (still) ain’t right
   “King of the Hill” picks
   up 8 years later in our
   beloved Arlen.
2. picky about the pic
   Volunteer photog
   tries different angles while
   getting us to pose.
3. swimming lessons
   A summer to flail
   around in chlorine learning
   how to move around.
4. deny the fly
   It buzzes around
   the kitchen, setting on a
   plate of vittles. Gross!
5. kim’s convenience
   A Canadian
   show about a Korean
   family hits home.
6. no more kings 2
   America fought
   to cleave from an unjust king.
   Shall we fight again?
7. planning to get out of town
   Who will be at the
   lake house, and how long will they
   be there? Oh, I see …
8. the sober generation
   No longer are they
   willing to be swilling booze.
   Let’s save the liver.
9. the new conservative male
   Unwilling to be
   woke. Attached to Joe Rogan
   and the manosphere.
10. house rich
    Flaunt your wealth with gold
    sconces, marble countertops
    and pink chandeliers.
11. grand opening/grand closing
    No one even had
    the chance to browse the store or
    touch the merchandise.
12. or the first day of second summer
    A fall where it’s still
    hot outside all the time and
    leaves stay on the trees.
13. rip post-herald
    It’s been 20 years
    since our newspaper shut down.
    Many more have croaked.
14. the mighty sovereign citizen
    Anti-gov crackpot
    challenges authority
    every single day.
15. artificial scarcity
    You need this. But it’s
    almost gone! You don’t really
    need this. Buy it quick!
16. don’t yuck my yum
    A world of flavors
    and preferences, plenty
    of room for all tastes.
17. the library has moved
    And so have the books
    and the personnel and the
    hamster named Herman.
18. corporate enticements
    Free food and ping pong
    are certainly better than
    flex hours and raises.
19. hillside ornaments
    Landscaping on a
    slanted surface with meatball
    bushes and much mulch.
20. donut shoppe dilemma
    I can’t decide what
    to get for my dozen. Might
    I try every one?
21. plus plus dash
    A compliment, then
    another compliment, then
    a vow to resume.
22. snoozing in the janitor’s closet
    Walking down the hall
    listening to the gentle
    snore of a cleaner.
23. first amendment, first priority
    Make a joke about
    the president and get yanked
    from TV airwaves.
24. look who’s chicken
    Sometimes powerful
    people fold in the face of
    an angry public.
25. examining the will
    Check for intent and
    execution. Does it match
    testator’s wishes?
26. pinball heaven
    Silver balls careen
    through grandiose mazes, and
    so many flippers!
27. missed connection
    Hey stranger, our eyes
    met at the car wash and you
    were wearing burlap …
28. life on airplane mode
    Flying along with
    no notifications and
    no complications.
29. the most critical part of a surprise party
    Making sure the lights
    are off and all the guests are
    hiding in their spots.
30. a sink full of dirty dishes
    We let them pile up
    without rinsing or putting
    them in the washer.
31. that new library smell
    Checking out the plush
    pristine carpets and dusty
    old books on display.
32. help from afar
    Participating
    in protests and petitions
    to stop genocide.
33. social media was a mistake
    Every post reflects
    nonsensical opinions
    on every topic.
34. costume conundrum
    Something timely or
    timeless? Funny or scary?
    Sexy or slutty?
35. entertaining seniors
    Some light juggling, a
    game of bingo and chair-based
    yoga on Thursday.
36. in memory of
    The mourners gathered
    in church to pay their respects
    to a lost loved one.
37. showdown in the courtroom
    Angry mom v.
    angry dad over the care
    of their little ones.
38. a book for basic dickheads
    Everything I don’t
    like is “woke,” especially
    this stupid engine.
39. know your cocktails
    A pricey course in
    bartender specialties that
    can be sipped or gulped.
40. just call me petty betty
    I can hold a grudge
    like no other, some going
    back a few decades.
41. don’t call everyone a nazi
    (Unless they’re trying
    to stamp out minorities
    and oppressed peoples.)
42. bobbing for herpes
    No one puts apples
    in a tub of water since
    we found out it’s gross.
43. seeking friendship
    Companionship can
    be rare when we don’t know how
    to attract others.
44. fiesta time
    Eating tacos while
    color-coordinated
    bandas take the stage.
45. lucha libre
    The vocal crowd roared
    its support as luchadors
    became acrobats.
46. the care and feeding of a wade
    Observe quietly,
    engage him gently, offer
    him a Diet Coke.
47. we think we’re the majority
    How often we find
    out others violently
    disagree with us.
48. the many flavors of anxiety
    We learn to cope with
    fear of future by getting
    us desensitized.
49. unserious people
    Surrounded by those
    who could make a difference
    but choose otherwise.
50. your daily fascism
    Threats of violence,
    a little gaslighting, a
    dose of suppression.
51. the masks are off
    Evil spirits no
    longer dwell in the shadows
    but wander freely.
52. so many car washes out there
    The sole objective
    standard to judge a car is
    by its cleanliness.
53. the museum of graffiti
    Artists make use of
    spray paint to create gorgeous
    murals on clean walls.
54. art deco town
    The streets are lined with
    fabulous examples of
    old architecture.
55. that new house smell
    Walls scrubbed clean and floors
    that shine. Take everything in,
    lord of the manor.
56. moving out
    Her stuff disappeared
    box by box, leaving almost
    no trace of herself.
57. a place for plants
    Each windowsill and
    table top, all along the
    floor and balcony.
58. mother-daughter detente
    A truce at long last,
    as both re-evaluate
    their losses and gains.
59. an empty house
    A home full of life
    goes quiet. The kids have moved
    on and far away.
60. the sofa puzzle
    A pink couch that comes
    in pieces requires some
    tools and some luck.
61. an eye for decor
    A custom palette
    and swatches of fabrics lead
    the way to great style.
62. the battle of portland
    This Veterans Day,
    please remember the selfless
    heroes who fought squat.
63. the ornery judge
    She was gruff and would
    not deal with shenanigans
    within her courtroom.
64. interview blues
    All that prep time to
    end up babbling like a dope
    for 40 minutes.
65. the microwave trap
    Unsuspecting fools
    trying to heat lunches doomed
    due to faulty latch.
66. data center defiance
    Where will they build? Not
    here, not now. Dreadful impact
    on environment.
67. salad in a bag
    All kinds of shredded
    lettuce with more veggies and
    assorted fixins.
68. ghosting as a way of life
    Never return a
    call or a text. Just keep on
    gliding through the world.
69. 20 years of poetry
    Counting syllables
    while putting words to my wild
    imagination.
70. the last days of turkey
    Fat and satisfied,
    he ambles round the barnyard
    with nary a care.
71. the ballroom
    Historic rubble
    gives way to hubris with a
    tacky gold veneer.
72. ladies and gentlemen, the weekend
    Pack up and head home.
    There’s nothing that can’t wait till
    Monday or Tuesday.
73. the high cost of living
    Inflation is our
    constant companion, making
    our sad lives worth less.
74. the new new nazi party
    They speak of murders
    for cleansing, giving salutes
    with knowing glances.
75. don’t drink the water
    When going abroad,
    imbibe the wines and beers, teas
    and juices and mead.
76. pocket translator
    Smartphones interpret
    the wider world with kindly
    linguistic aplomb.
77. fly the bankrupt skies
    Passengers must serve
    their own drinks and load baggage
    onto the airplane.
78. pilgrims and indians
    Two factions sit down
    to dinner and politely
    break bread together.
79. a fall beach trip
    Less crowded but still
    sunny. Familiar rhythms
    beckon us to stay.
80. life in merida
    Mexican city
    thrives with kind-hearted people
    and warmer weather.
81. let it flood, let it flood, let it flood
    Hurricanes batter
    helpless hot spots dumping an
    ocean of water.
82. a book inscription
    “Dearest Reader, know
    that I wrote this fine book for
    you especially.”
83. prelude to a nap
    Drooping eyes, flagging
    energy can’t compete with
    a warm, cozy bed.
84. the unpainted table
    She felt like sprucing
    it up, though it didn’t need
    a real makeover.
85. giftfinding
    A special knack for
    finding the perfect item
    that will bring a smile.
86. the mother who wasn’t there
    Father and son don’t
    get along, leaving her caught
    in between warriors.
87. beyond mass appeal
    It’s the specifics
    that draw an audience, the
    details that matter.
88. always another fire to put out
    Something is burning?
    It must be a day ending
    with the letter “Y.”
89. what’s a living wage?
    When food, shelter and
    clothing can be bought, with some
    left for dignity.
90. santa keeps three lists
    On the third list are
    terrorists, billionaires and
    bitcoin fanatics.
91. snap decisions
    The benefits don’t
    last long with three kids eating
    everything in sight.
92. modern pinball
    Less about flippers
    and more about buzzy screens
    and endless cutscenes.
93. where is the exit?
    Please let us escape
    this nightmare world where our dreams
    and plans are strangled.
94. the value of pbs
    A wholesome network
    where kids can learn and adults
    can absorb culture.
95. the appeasement strategy
    Let the bully win,
    then fret when he returns for
    more compensation.
96. the lie that got away
    It started as a
    fib, grew into a whopper,
    blew up in our face.
97. boyfriend material
    Owns his own house and
    car. Practices chivalry.
    Cares for his kitties.
98. early morning fog
    Even headlights fall
    away in an enormous
    white cloud floating so.
99. the crackdown
    Masked armed thugs from the
    government round up people
    of color on sight.
100. the alabama solution
     A deadly sentence
     for state prisoners at the
     mercy of the guards.
101. a night at the symphony
     Beautiful patrons
     love Mozart and Tchaikovsky
     performed with panache.

• • •

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1. southern politeness
   Soft noncommittal
   answers dance around probing
   inquiries, y’all see.
2. sets at 7 and 9:45
   Comedians get
   ready, while fans take on the
   two-drink minimum.
3. toxic moms
   They said that you were
   no damn good and human trash
   unworthy of love.
4. asynchronous planning
   Coordinating
   our schedules while skimming through
   a jumble of texts.
5. the mythologization of normalcy
   A grand adventure
   awaits every small errand
   or sip of coffee.
6. freak rain
   Summertime is marked
   with cloud bursts and steam baths at
   any given time.
7. ai the reporter or journAlIsm
   Hallucinations
   plague each and every sentence.
   Everyone loves slop.
8. don’t ask me why
   Every drunk must have
   his drink. Don’t wait for answers.
   Just take your chances.
9. the bad friend
   Never calls, never
   texts, never makes an effort
   to keep things going.
10. there’s a new tariff in town
    Tax on everything.
    Prices are skyrocketing.
    Recession coming.
11. billionaire country
    Personal jets and
    luxury yachts, tailored clothes
    and money to burn.
12. dance party usa
    “Alexa, play New
    Wave,” she ordered as she spun
    in the living room.
13. the same page
    Sometimes, we’re novels
    apart in sentiments and
    beliefs. We’ll get there.
14. the war on hemp
    Alabama hates
    a plant it can’t control.
    Getting high no more.
15. arcade dreams
    Pinball machines and
    classic video games beep
    and boop all evening.
16. triumph of the shill
    An oligarch rules
    with his hand out, expecting
    a sizable bribe.
17. grand theft identity
    Foreign powers steer
    hackers to impersonate
    us for money grabs.
18. hormones run amok
    Her body freaks out
    from surges, imbalances
    and some hot flashes.
19. she nose a new season
    Put aside pesky
    allergies and breathe in the
    first day of summer.
20. poetry in america
    The excitement of
    sharing treasured verses with
    a wide audience.
21. the workout queen
    She ruled the gym with
    strength (lactose acid, be damned)
    poise and protein shakes.
22. at the adult spelling bee
    W-H-Y
    D-O I-T? W-
    H-Y N-O-T?
23. a question of surprises
    Is it worth the risk
    to surprise someone, or is
    it going to flop?
24. bag it
    Forget the wrapping
    paper and tape. Shove the gift
    in a sack and go.
25. celiac suspicions
    Are the chefs being
    extra careful about cross-
    contamination?
26. a mighty crush
    His heart beat faster,
    all because of a pretty
    girl who looked his way.
27. talk and walk
    Their neighborhood strolls
    wound through the streets featuring
    droll conversation.
28. the right way to tell people off
    Bullhorn, graffiti,
    skywriting, voicemail, flyers,
    keying vehicles.
29. the cost of (barely) living
    Regrettably poor,
    earning just enough to get
    by and nothing more.
30. the hug machine
    DIY kit that
    squeezes the user gently
    providing a hug.
31. the rainbow parade
    Marching down Seventh
    Avenue, merry strollers
    proclaim, “Happy Pride!”
32. be more yes
    Finding adventure
    around every corner. Who
    am I to say no?
33. no more kings
    We got rid of King
    George 250 years
    ago. One to go …
34. monsoon season
    Once a day, the skies
    turn violent with lightning
    and stormy surges.
35. packing for the lake
    A mere five bags hold
    everything for my three-day
    lakeshore getaway.
36. the vacation bible school experience
    Kids gather to learn
    about Jesus and break for
    milk and stale cookies.
37. the scent of sargasso
    The stink of thick brown
    seaweed makes this vacation
    most unbearable.
38. hacked and confused
    A breach so big all
    users must reset passwords
    before it’s too late.
39. homegrown empire
    She’s building a 10-
    million-dollar enterprise
    in her spare bedroom.
40. lessons from the man of steel
    What does a baby
    from Krypton have to teach us
    in the 2000s?
41. beyond sweaty
    I am damp chested
    from moderate exercise,
    pouring down my face.
42. the patterns only i see
    Eating cereal,
    wearing glasses, placing bowls
    in the dishwasher.
43. parking ins and outs
    The parking laws are
    meaningless when the weekend
    rolls around. Go nuts.
44. in a hundred years
    In a hundred years,
    we will all be dead and none
    of this will matter.
45. beta testers
    To check the software
    (or hardware), volunteers try
    out the new features.
46. the garden club
    They take pride in their
    blossoming roses, also
    their pruning techniques.
47. earworm wars
    Catchy melodies
    live rent free in my head. No
    wonder I’m crazy.
48. mayor tiktok
    Spending all day on
    the socials, leadership by
    playlists and selfies.
49. how to make friends in 2025
    End loneliness by
    joining group activities
    and stopping scrolling.
50. obsessed with asamimichan
    Cartoon rabbits bounce
    with cheeky energy and
    adorable bums.
51. creeping along, careerwise
    A task here, a task
    there. Soon we’ll have training and
    minor skill building.
52. the trouble with china
    One billion souls, all
    under the control of the
    Communist Party.
53. adoption nightmare
    Korean market
    supplies stolen babies for
    the US to take.
54. sass to the extreme
    It begins with a
    dangerous provocation
    and ends with wan smiles.
55. seeking slave ships
    Black scuba divers
    find centuries-old galleons
    on the ocean floor.
56. great aspirations
    Making the best use
    of time to win at life and
    journey much further.
57. we don’t vacation enough
    Why is it so hard
    to claim time off and spend it
    pursuing fun things?
58. a junky inheritance
    Generational
    acquisitions shouldn’t be
    hand-me-down millstones.
59. fruit fix
    Berries and apples
    and bananas and melons
    and pineapples, too.
60. 90 miles later
    Many a journey
    starts on a narrow strip of
    mat circling around.
61. what’s in it for me?
    Ask the most basic
    question for self-interest.
    Otherwise, time waste.
62. the sleep monster
    It awakens at
    odd hours, gobbling slumber with
    ravenous hunger.
63. pimping books
    The staff shows a deep
    love of books in reels pushing
    reading as vital.
64. the passing of a man
    Unexpectedly
    he died, leaving behind loved
    ones and legacy.
65. invasion of privacy
    Secrecy can be
    tough to manage when prying
    eyes wander too close.
66. representation matters always
    Who stands in for us
    in media, government,
    board rooms and healthcare?
67. this fragile democracy
    A madman with no
    compunction upends our rule
    of law and order.
68. for the good of the corporation
    Take heed of the stock
    price and make it grow and grow
    till it hits the sky.
69. the four-day workweek
    A full day reclaimed
    in the name of leisure and
    Fridays filled with fun.
70. radical empathy
    Fear turns to kindness
    when strangers are welcomed no
    matter who they are.
71. the straying stallions
    Yet another team
    gallops away. City of
    dying franchises.
72. why even go back to school?
    When education
    makes students dumber thanks to
    widespread whitewashing.
73. the redditors unite
    With brews in hand, they
    pulled up chairs to join lively
    exchange IRL.
74. ip i see
    Creativity
    is blunted not by AI
    but by old IP.
75. the gutting of public media
    Programming for the
    masses to be pre-empted
    in rural places.
76. the gutting of universities
    Cutting-edge research
    dissolves without the grants and
    funding. Science stops.
77. teaching is learning
    What better way to
    show off what you’ve learned than by
    instructing others?
78. stranger on the doorstep
    Don’t knock at night if
    you expect a friendly smile
    and a warm welcome.
79. grief in all its forms
    Neverending tears.
    Heart in agony. Time to
    eat a casserole.
80. swelter in place
    Shade or no shade, the
    harsh penalty for being
    outdoors is heat stroke.
81. the guru in the zoom
    She had nothing but
    tough love to dole out among
    the participants.
82. clutter opportunist
    No free space is safe
    when the packrat invades shelves,
    closets and counters.
83. enough shame to go around
    It’s class warfare and
    actual warfare. This is
    a moral wasteland.
84. a hint of grease
    That pan is not clean
    enough. Wash it again and
    really scrub it good.
85. watercooler moments
    We all deserve a
    break, where we can shoot the breeze
    with our work buddies.
86. who will run our town?
    These mediocre
    busybodies are on the
    ballot. We decide.
87. no checks, just imbalances
    A runaway prez
    steamrolls over rule of law
    and other branches.
88. unlocking the operating system
    The users often
    overlook nifty tricks and
    time-saving shortcuts.
89. katrina remembered
    Hurricane swamps the
    levees. No help is coming.
    Coastal city drowns.
90. flee circus
    The good ol’ US
    of A is no place for lone
    outcasts much like me.
91. back yard beautification
    An unyielding sun
    showers me in heat as I
    pull some nasty weeds.
92. all’s quiet on the labor front
    Quiet quitting and
    quiet cracking … I give up!
    I’m going crazy!!
93. the missing food truck
    Hungry workers stand
    by as their lunch hour winds down.
    Where are their tacos?!
94. the emptiest nest
    Both son and daughter
    have flown off to college. The
    house seems abandoned.
95. stuck in a sling
    Weeks go by. Can’t work,
    can’t work out. Ready to be
    out of this restraint.
96. an instant no
    He doesn’t need a
    minute to think it over —
    it’s always easy.
97. afraid to date
    She couldn’t believe
    guys were asking her out. What
    a predicament.
98. meet the sims
    Taking good care of
    this virtual family
    means godlike power.
99. the death of reading
    If you made it to
    the end of this short poem,
    congratulations.
100. late night hunger
     Driving around to
     find some diner open at
     this ungodly hour.
101. the s word
     The new textbooks don’t
     mention the original
     American sin.

• • •

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1. project 2025 in action
   A solid blueprint
   eroding democracy
   using government.
2. adventures in air frying
   Load the basket with
   assorted ingredients
   and set dial to blast.
3. the offer and the counteroffer
   A two-step dance to
   find out your worth in dollars,
   cents and benefits.
4. the busy season
   Lots of work and lots
   of fun to be had, if our
   time would allow it.
5. gift of gab
   He would greet each one
   by name, a friendly start to
   many dialogues.
6. gelato journeys
   Take me away to
   summer days with bright sunshine
   and gobs of ice cream.
7. making out at the bar
   The couple put on
   quite a show while we’re trying
   to just have a drink.
8. a delightful smile
   She beams happiness
   to all around her, laughing
   through her hazel eyes.
9. introvert’s credo
   Not every moment
   of silence must be filled with
   endless jabbering.
10. who are you wearing?
    Let’s dress up and watch
    the Oscars in style. Even
    in just pajamas.
11. emotional ambush
    She attacks without
    warning, feeding on stress and
    deep anxiety.
12. the age we feel
    Who we see in the
    mirror isn’t the same as
    the age in our heads.
13. the impudent fire alarm
    It was hard (SCREEE!) to
    hold a conver— (SCREEE!) sation
    with (SCREEE!) all that noise.
14. playtime at the restaurant
    Kids would run and scream
    and laugh and clamber on the
    staircase before lunch.
15. sitting in the only booth
    We share a moment
    (and some tots) at the end of
    the new restaurant.
16. a world without meat
    Happy chickens, pigs
    and cows celebrate diets
    without their protein.
17. back to running
    Hitting the streets with
    a newfound focus on great
    health and more movement.
18. clogged toilet, clogged sink
    Why won’t the water
    disappear? Don’t make me call
    the plumber out here …
19. the ban
    She vowed never to
    work for the white man again.
    It worked out just fine.
20. watching sports
    An endless parade
    of jocks playing each other
    on fields of battle.
21. the needs of the special needs
    Their teachers look out
    for kids on the spectrum who
    function differently.
22. parental alienation
    One parent uses the
    children as weapons in
    a sick, twisted war.
23. the life of a nun
    Days spent in prayer and
    service, cloistered from the world
    as brides of Jesus.
24. the piracy code
    Why pay for stuff when
    you can download it for free?
    The artists suffer.
25. a question of luck
    Clovers with four leaves
    and feet of rabbits … can they
    change puny fortunes?
26. beyond the norm
    A most dry wit with
    an insouciant devil-
    may-care attitude.
27. exclamatory exuberance
    This is exciting!
    I’m trying to be normal
    here. I can’t help it!!
28. too short a season
    Along comes spring, warm
    with budding joy. Let us dance
    in rolling meadows.
29. government “efficiency”
    Hack away at slim
    pickings while boondoggles slip
    through without a fight.
30. the true cost of eggs
    Soaring prices tell
    us that we should’ve tried to
    save democracy.
31. disbanding the feds
    It’s easy to can
    the federal workforce when
    nothing is sacred.
32. billionaires’ paradise
    They own media,
    corporations, resources
    and the government.
33. rent in america
    Through the roof, which is
    now impossible on a
    regular paycheck.
34. the worst timeline
    We rolled the dice, not
    knowing the consequences
    of our fickle fate.
35. can’t get my meds
    The same pills each month,
    and yet I must get prior
    authorization.
36. territorial at home
    We share a household
    but can’t seem to agree on
    helpful boundaries.
37. picking our battles
    New current events
    warrant outrage, but how much
    for each occurrence?
38. touch grass
    Every now and then,
    we must commune with nature
    and drop all our screens.
39. let’s go walk the cat
    Outdoorsy feline
    prefers the leash to napping
    all day long indoors.
40. the book of no
    Yes. Yes? Yes! Yes … Yes—
    Maybe. Could be. How about?
    No No. NO NO. NO!
41. the battle for water
    Our earth’s most precious
    resource in short supply makes
    for bloody conflict.
42. the stubborn old man
    He would rather be
    right than do right by his own
    family. Hopeless.
43. outdated dating ideas
    Get a mail order
    bride. Make sure she’s dirt poor.
    Knock her up. Profit!
44. death of an apple
    The ancient laptop
    flashed a sign of surrender,
    stuck in boot up.
45. transparency in war
    Tell everyone the
    troops are on the way and the
    bombs are coming next.
46. schooling by states
    So much for helping
    the disabled and fixing
    inequality.
47. self care for a reason
    All too easily,
    we break down, burn out when not
    paying attention.
48. in concert again
    He took the stage to
    flex his savvy after so
    many years away.
49. the endless buffet
    Steam tables loaded
    with tempting Asian dishes
    all to fatten us.
50. the best pizza in the world
    We shared slices and
    beers at this pizzeria
    joint on the southside.
51. view from the outdoor bar
    The world strolls by as
    we sip our drinks and laugh at
    some silly nonsense.
52. do you know this band?
    A few bars in and
    you figure out the artist,
    even the album.
53. from the library of wade kwon
    The dust jacket is
    missing but the book itself?
    Perfect condition.
54. taxable hoods
    Make billionaires pay
    for schools, roads, research, the arts,
    healthcare and defense.
55. on the sly
    Do it where no one
    can see it, right under their
    collective noses.
56. what so proudly we hail
    Our nation rots. We
    careen to extinction at
    twilight’s last gleaming.
57. somebody somewhere
    Sam searches for her
    true self with the help of her
    friends and her sister.
58. falling behind in my gossip site
    I barely know who’s
    cancelled, who’s fighting who and
    who’s screwing around.
59. the food court is no longer in session
    The chairs are put up,
    the guard is locking up, the
    cooks are cleaning up.
60. drinking at the red lobster bar
    It’s just us and a
    waitress/bartender hopping
    around the tables.
61. stuck in our musical eras
    Classic rock is now
    ancient. Oldies are from the
    aughts. Radios? Dead.
62. hoarding it all
    She had a need to
    collect these odds and ends which
    had no real value.
63. beware the bitter
    It can destroy all
    the happy feelings and leave
    you in the gutter.
64. this could’ve been an email
    She didn’t have to
    splurge for our breakup dinner.
    (Should’ve ordered steak.)
65. tearing down history
    The architecture
    alone is worth saving, but
    the new owners won’t.
66. zillow gone wild
    Crazy bathrooms and
    panther statues, and all for
    our nosy pleasure.
67. echoes of an eclipse
    The disasters came
    when the moon went in hiding
    and the sun melted.
68. in remembrance of spencer gifts
    Rad posters, raunchy
    T-shirts, novelty items
    galore at the mall.
69. magic man
    Sorcerer attempts
    to fool audience over
    and over again.
70. pop donuts
    A quaint storefront with
    confections galore and a
    hungry clientele.
71. chance encounter
    What are the odds that
    we meet someone who ticks each
    item on our list?
72. internal turmoil
    Roiling agita
    churns my guts. Will my conscience
    ever recover?
73. just friends
    They made a go of
    it but ended up as pals
    with no benefits.
74. the accusation
    HR ambushed her
    with a 3-hour meeting
    and scant evidence.
75. a symphonic evening
    Beautiful music
    floated through the theater
    with a baton’s wave.
76. maintaining posture
    Sit up straighter in
    an effort to line up our
    lopsided bones.
77. a world of texting
    Telegram, WhatsApp,
    Messenger and Signal have
    bypassed SMS.
78. nerding out
    It’s no longer a
    cultural faux pas to be
    fixated by stuff.
79. mental breakdown
    Bombarded by guilt
    and unable to cope with
    a strong shame spiral.
80. all the news that gives us fits
    The headlines offer
    nothing but overwhelming
    fiascos and cons.
81. the man without a will
    He didn’t need a
    piece of paper to give up
    his worldly trappings.
82. the new beard
    Face has a new do
    styled by indifference and
    maintained just barely.
83. robots that can reason
    The rising AI
    IQ threatens to replace
    our society.
84. roomies: a love story
    She came, she stayed, she
    started a new family
    of two in this house.
85. pollen nation
    Trees be fucking out
    here, leaving hot messes and
    making us achoo.
86. the sarcastic
    It’d be so great
    if you’d curbed your attitude
    for the time being.
87. the appreciation factory
    Gratitude is our
    business, and business is so
    very, very good.
88. monday dinner
    We look forward to
    our weekly ritual for
    fellowship and fun.
89. reddit to the rescue
    One forum after
    another, chock full of snark
    and even advice.
90. slop till you drop
    Artificially
    generated content tends
    to be terrible.
91. nosiness detector
    Knock knock knock. Who’s there?
    Nunya. Nunya who? Nunya
    damn business, honky.
92. home of the hornets
    Along the railing
    of the balcony stood a
    small colony nest.
93. runaway prices
    What if tariffs were
    the actual culprit for
    inflated costs? Nah.
94. undue process
    Send them to prison
    in El Salvador and then
    let God sort them out.
95. lost vets, lost freedoms
    Did they fight for an
    authoritarian state
    or democracy?
96. those poor billionaires
    So misunderstood
    with their mountains of cash and
    their pillaging ways.
97. learning to be sorry
    Apologize from
    the heart. Own your mistakes. Be
    kind and repentant.
98. the story of jesus
    As told by choirs,
    one soloist, one string section
    and colorful slides.
99. ankle angst
    Does it need rest, ice,
    compression, elevation?
    Hope it heals quickly.
100. the cypher
     Encoded message
     for your eyes only contains
     schematics and plans.
101. stanning for teddy swims
     That voice, that gorgeous
     voice, coupled with thrilling songs
     defying genres.

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1. gratitude is our business
   Gratitude is our
   business. And business is so
   very very good.
2. sunday scaries
   Oh no! The weekend
   is almost over, and I
   am dreading Monday.
3. turkey tally
   How many birds do
   we need for Thanksgiving? A
   gaggle? What the flock?!
4. the bill comes due
   The moment you’ve been
   dreading: It’s time to pay up,
   and you have no cash.
5. blinded by sunlight
   No way to see the
   road or the cars ahead faced
   with maximum glare.
6. the unhealable thumb
   A simple broken
   nail leads to big ouchies from
   every snag and catch.
7. let’s get petty
   This game requires
   a long memory and a
   sour disposition.
8. psych yourself up for tiny wins
   I’m going to get
   moving. Any second now,
   I’ll stand up for sure.
9. the snack cart
   Baskets of cookies
   and chips and fruits and nuts and
   everything yummy.
10. the revamped walmart
    Shoppers wander the
    aisles looking for their misplaced
    bargains and must-haves.
11. what charities will accept
    Dirty jeans, moldy
    books, scuffed furniture, ugly
    sweaters, odds and ends,
12. man amongst the machines
    He punched buttons and
    swore at failures, adjusting
    to the mechanics.
13. security on 25 screens
    Black-and-white vision
    aids watchful eyes in keeping
    the site safe for all.
14. the ass crack bandit
    Slippin’ them quarters
    into bent-over butts while
    remaining unknown.
15. sound signals of friendship
    The right ringtones and
    text tones spark instant joy from
    incoming tidings.
16. the loudest guy in the room
    His jovial ways
    connect him with others in
    keeping things relaxed.
17. fix a plate
    Heap it with lots of
    good eats, take a photo to
    show off, then dig in!
18. beyond shopping
    Take a walk outside:
    Escape the material
    world with its trappings.
19. the crocheted blanket
    She poured love into
    each stitch, weaving together
    brightly colored yarn.
20. future dread
    Thinking about the
    future freezes my soul. I
    can’t imagine why.
21. self care and the question of privilege
    The world is burning,
    but I’m retreating in haste.
    Bigger fish to fry.
22. exploiting a vulnerability
    Love is the pit of
    your stomach wrenching in pain
    from abandonment.
23. a hint of mint
    Toothpaste doesn’t need
    to taste like bubblegum or
    goddam sassafras.
24. eat mor milkshakes
    A peppermint chip
    milkshake: the only food I
    need in December.
25. catching a recruiter’s eye
    All it takes is a
    couple of keywords on your
    LinkedIn profile page.
26. once, we were happy
    A couple so in
    love, spending time together.
    Where did it all go?
27. the first phone call in months
    Mother and daughters
    take turns re-establishing
    some kind of rapport.
28. the frailty of mom and dad
    They got old so fast.
    Brains, bodies worn out over
    time. Goodbye comes soon.
29. the mini convenience store
    Snacks and meals, sodas
    and energy drinks. All run
    from a checkout stand.
30. contraband in the planter
    She found a stash of
    mushrooms, fairly certain they
    belonged to the teens.
31. the war against stuff
    Don’t give me any
    things. Fight clutter rather than
    declutter again.
32. gig work as an elf
    Santa runs a mean
    shop. Quotas and deadlines on
    expendable pay.
33. the wild robot
    Machine reborn as
    caregiver to a gosling
    alone in the woods.
34. small joys every day
    Rejoice in the wee
    wonders that go unnoticed
    brightening our lives.
35. at every moment, we are volunteers
    Stephen Colbert says
    to take everything with an
    air of gratitude.
36. weighty matters
    It’s OK to tell
    the doctor that you don’t want
    to step on the scale.
37. the stealth poet
    Able to craft lines
    and verses without being
    detected by you.
38. when to hang it up: love edition
    Two people without
    hope to reconcile their own
    insecurities.
39. when to hang it up: work edition
    Relations sour
    between once convivial
    colleagues. Game over.
40. the shivery promise of a new season
    Winter is here. Do
    we hibernate or shed our
    comforting jammies?
41. stressed beyond belief
    Suffering under
    too many obligations
    and money troubles.
42. a relationship detour
    Out of nowhere, a
    time to re-evaluate
    our shaky future.
43. who fills mama’s stocking?
    Don’t leave out the one
    person who makes sure to fill
    the other stockings.
44. a christmas prayer
    Worldwide conflicts tear
    our lives apart. Seeking peace,
    now more than ever.
45. the war within
    Do I shut out my
    friends to limit the carnage,
    or share my chaos?
46. rainy, cold and dreary
    Seemingly endless
    cycle of wintry torment
    in long barrages.
47. the value of camaraderie
    To get through the tough
    times, we should stick together
    and love each other.
48. our hidden stories
    We dare not share them
    on social media, so
    immense is our shame.
49. banned words, 2024 edition
    Demure, brat, brain rot,
    enshittification, cat
    lady, skibidi.
50. going out with a sigh
    Good riddance to the
    vibes of 2024
    and its doomsday scene.
51. new year, new you
    … I muttered after
    throwing my dead clone into
    the nearest dumpster.
52. a shattered heart
    The hardest part is
    letting go. The easiest
    part is letting go.
53. five stages of modern grief
    Scrolling, vaguebooking,
    numbing, ordering Postmates,
    then narcissism.
54. an unbearable pain
    Closing in on all
    sides, unable to escape
    her miserable life.
55. the littlest joys
    We end the day with
    reflection on small wins that
    bring on such rare smiles.
56. conversational desperation
    We connected but
    for a moment, ending in
    complete severance.
57. a disposable relationship
    How do you throw love
    away, when it’s so hard to
    find in the first place?
58. to be a good man
    Whether to shelve your
    feelings and listen, or give
    in to being hurt.
59. the best possible self
    A version of me
    stood proud for being loving
    and fiercely loyal.
60. the place where wee things belong
    Invisible signs
    mark the spots where things should go,
    home for each object.
61. seasonally, affectively disordered
    Long nights bring gloomy
    moods. Such dread manifests in
    the gray winter sky.
62. the uncooperative treadmill
    The readout displays
    all 8s, meaning exercise
    will take place elsewhere.
63. misery comes in twos
    They faced their burdens
    while holding each other up,
    so great was their pain.
64. cooking efficiency
    Make enough now to
    eat again and again right
    through the coming week.
65. how to date in 2025
    Let AI make the
    texts resonate, the photos
    racy, the soul bland.
66. not working? networking
    A year without the
    right job means it’s time to call
    in the cavalry.
67. the lost year
    Sitting out of the
    action, letting precious time
    slip further away.
68. who could’ve seen it coming?
    One moment, she’s in
    a great partnership. The next,
    she’s running from me.
69. the therapist blinked
    Our session went quite
    smoothly, until I revealed
    my true misfortune.
70. on his day
    King would not be shocked
    to find our country ready
    to back a strongman.
71. what she left behind
    A fan, a bottle
    of pills, a puzzle, fancy
    pillow, her house keys.
72. on tap everywhere
    Take a sip of fresh
    water, you can really taste
    the microplastics.
73. playing the field
    Swipe left, swipe right, chat
    up the ladies and locate
    their social profiles.
74. dead inside
    A piece of the soul
    disintegrates, making the
    body immobile.
75. fish sticks and doughnuts
    Homeless and hungry,
    the wanderers came in for
    food and fellowship.
76. dish duty
    I actually
    don’t mind picking up a scrub
    brush and scouring plates.
77. five queens
    Black beauties around
    a table trading good vibes
    and laughing it up.
78. the burning of the sage
    Out, OUT with the bad
    juju, and in with the new
    hopeful energy.
79. the legend of the chicken hat
    Left behind by new
    dates, giving an excuse to
    call or to visit.
80. in the memory care unit
    Residents, guided
    by helpers, make their way to
    their dining room seats.
81. the judge will sort it out
    He said, she said. Their
    lawyers out for blood. Let us
    settle this in court.
82. the enshittification of content
    We can make most things
    with digital tools, but we
    crank out loads of slop.
83. revenge of the dating apps
    New methods to be
    humiliated, harassed
    and harangued online.
84. message to my ex
    Fuck that fucking fuck.
    Hope he gets shanked in prison
    and dies bleeding there.
85. voice tracking, but for the tv industry
    Local news, weather
    and sports, but with broadcasters
    far removed from here.
86. the cold
    Runny nose, sore throat,
    tired, listless and sore. At
    least it’s not COVID.
87. finding out your worth
    You’re worth so much more
    than a dollar amount, but
    those are our values.
88. a family in therapy
    Mother and daughters
    jockey for understanding
    and for the last word.
89. an abundance of hospitality
    Family welcomes
    stranger into their home for
    food and gifts and fun.
90. a house divided
    Can a couple of
    political opposites
    get and stay married?
91. new york in 4 days
    Take in a few shows,
    concert, hit the museums,
    dine around the town.
92. party for two
    Presents plus a cake
    and takeout dinner. What a
    wonderful soiree!
93. what i like to do
    Go walking, lift weights,
    watch documentaries, write
    poetry, dine out.
94. temper tantrum
    Lashing out because
    of high stress becomes ugly
    pattern of abuse.
95. otp pdq
    Find the one who bonds
    with you effortlessly for
    your one true pairing.
96. empathy surplus
    It’s difficult to
    empathize with someone who
    is all empathy.
97. no penpals
    Her dating profile
    was all business, from height to
    beliefs to shoe size.
98. career limbo
    At a stage in life
    where experience and smarts
    get you nowhere fast.
99. an expensive hobby
    Going out on first
    dates is fun, but going out
    on second dates rocks!
100. 5 o’clock conversations
     Late afternoon was
     reserved for talking about
     how our dear days went.
101. the vanishing package
     A porch pirate (or
     naughty raccoon) made off with
     my Amazon box.

• • •

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1. breaking for gold
   Dancers sashay to
   hip hop beats, showing off and
   showing up others.
2. friendly fire
   The two disagree,
   unable to budge from their
   hardened perspectives.
3. techno wizardry
   The new gizmo works
   as advertised. How often
   can you proclaim that?
4. coffeehouse day one
   Brand new furniture,
   sparkling appliances, good
   brews ready to pour.
5. enemies in the office
   They would be at each
   other’s throats if not for the
   risk to be fired.
6. school as a battleground
   Children’s laughter fills
   the hallways as teachers prep
   themselves for the war.
7. reaching out for help
   Sometimes the hardest
   step is to ask someone to
   lend their assistance.
8. the lone volunteer
   He answered the phones
   and kept the minutes and took
   care of all the bills.
9. feeling good
   All it takes to get
   rid of depression is to
   fight negative thoughts.
10. the halls of kiddie lit
    Hardy Boys and Tom
    Swift, Nancy Drew and Oz, Thing
    Two and Narnia.
11. shun the nonbelievers
    They spent their Sundays
    blissfully unaware of
    the power of Christ.
12. 0/0 vision
    From AC haven
    to searing heat, my glasses
    completely fog up.
13. academic grind
    Classes generate
    huge workload for tired students
    to finish at home.
14. newest member of the family
    White paws and black fur
    with a vocabulary
    of “mew mew meow.”
15. the empathic brother
    He wept in the hope
    that his oldest brother would
    be happy at last.
16. stories to tell
    Her arsenal was
    no more than an array of
    fantastical tales.
17. the breakup
    She had the yearly
    crisis of confidence that
    led to their breakup.
18. choosing sides
    A family breaks
    apart on a fault line of
    mistrust and half-truths.
19. familial obsession
    Getting fixated
    on the one member who seems
    the weakest of all.
20. senior promise
    A year to work hard,
    celebrate and look back on
    a high school career.
21. billionaire express
    What rich prick are we
    shooting into space today?
    Let’s send all of them.
22. a doctor who will listen
    Not too pressed for time,
    willing to pay attention
    and serve the patient.
23. to study wine
    Read the label. Pour
    a sample. Swish it around.
    Take a sip and slurp.
24. rejoicing of the commenters
    A resurrected
    online community breathes
    air of sweet freedom.
25. the hill you’ll die on
    For a big cause or
    small cause, or even if you’re
    just being petty.
26. the life of a teacher
    Grading papers and
    coming up with lesson plans,
    or just staying sane.
27. pigskin embargo
    I gave up watching
    football 10 years ago and
    haven’t missed it since.
28. reservation dogs
    Four teens dream of life
    in California, far from
    their crummy home life.
29. a little lotto win
    Crossing state lines to
    get lottery ticket, but
    winnings go to gas.
30. it’s not a meal until you wear it
    Oops! I dropped some sauce
    on my nice clean shirt and I
    look like a big mess.
31. laboring intently
    If you do a good
    job, they reward you with more
    projects. What b.s.!
32. cleaning the garage
    Donate, keep, trash. Keep,
    trash. Donate, keep, trash. Donate,
    keep, trash. Trash. Trash. Trash.
33. two american families
    The men lost jobs in
    factories. The couples work
    hard to fall behind.
34. kid chef
    Already a pro
    at making burritos and
    grilled cheese and ramen.
35. bourdain the biopic
    Our favorite chef writes
    books and travels the world to
    celebrate cultures.
36. the toughest job market in years
    Can’t get interviews,
    can’t get call backs and can’t get
    recruiters to help.
37. when it hurts all over
    Doctors somehow fail
    to treat chronic pain in an
    average body.
38. the new hopeful
    She struts onto the
    field, ready to run over
    her competitors.
39. the lesser-known hits
    They play them for the
    groupies and the true fans, tunes
    that sound familiar.
40. laughter is the best lubrication
    Way to overcome
    social anxiety is
    rubbing funny bones.
41. finish each other’s sandwiches
    She burnt the grilled cheese,
    but I ate it anyway …
    it was made with love.
42. a drive-by reunion
    They recognized each
    other in an instant, did
    a fist bump, then left.
43. return to networking
    It wasn’t so bad
    wading through people, drinking,
    chatting up strangers.
44. concrete arches
    Standing at the show
    left us in pain for days, our
    legs aching badly.
45. when plans don’t align
    Their evening brought up
    a painful realization
    they couldn’t foresee.
46. a nation of immigrants, a nation of laws
    We can’t seem to make
    up our minds about a path
    to citizenship.
47. an oven like new
    Thanks to some repairs,
    the oven can once again
    get (and stay) heated.
48. quiet quitting
    Fuck this job, I can’t
    wait to get out and work at
    another dead end.
49. ambushed in the office
    Dispiriting words
    send morale crashing in a
    humbling instant.
50. the coolest summer of your life
    It’s only gonna
    get hotter from here on out.
    Better buy sunscreen.
51. autumnal fare
    Fall brings delights such
    as pumpkin pie, turkey and
    oodles of candy.
52. new habits come easily
    I’ve never had a
    problem starting a new plan
    and sticking to it.
53. the surging candidate
    She brought a new truth:
    Never underestimate
    the power of joy.
54. the fly trap
    A bowl with orange-ish
    broth luring fruit flies to an
    untimely demise.
55. imagination to text to image
    AI is the best
    illustrator to capture
    wildest dreams onscreen.
56. originality
    Are we ignorant
    of where ideas come from
    in the first place? Hmm …
57. the clique
    Left out on his own,
    he navigates through mankind
    with a wary stare.
58. please vote
    Go register now
    and be ready to cast a
    vote in November.
59. everything’s circumstantial
    Until a smoking
    gun pops up, we can’t be sure
    if they are guilty.
60. shooting up southside
    Four dead, 17
    wounded when gunmen shot at
    patrons of club Hush.
61. the secret ransomware attack
    The city would not
    admit it was paralyzed
    by Russian hackers.
62. the things they do with reese’s these days
    Once a simple cup,
    now unrecognizable
    as shapes and sizes.
63. borrowing money from mom
    She put aside her
    pride and asked for a loan to
    prevent disaster.
64. they aimed for italy
    Large bureaucracy
    sent them packing for a new
    beginning in Spain.
65. the relationship sojourn
    They took time apart
    to figure out how to beat
    their fears and foibles.
66. feeling unappreciated
    Toiling endlessly
    at work for a tiny bit
    of recognition.
67. they fought in the car
    Turn off radio,
    face each other, speak gently,
    listen to what’s said.
68. the holiday do-over
    They rewarded each
    other for a job well done.
    A full day of fun.
69. spiraling
    Each day, the feeling
    of depression is bigger
    than the one before.
70. afraid to speak up
    Courage is needed
    when it comes to voicing those
    matters of the heart.
71. ready for halloween early
    Their yard became a
    cemetery overnight
    way back in August.
72. working for the perfectionist
    She would let colleagues
    know about the proper way
    to do everything.
73. aged out
    How old is too old
    to hold down a job? Keep
    on driving? Not die?
74. the picture book
    Assembled are great
    photos from throughout the years
    they spent together.
75. may you live in interesting times
    The problem with that
    is they’re too interesting
    to endure longer.
76. death to the beater car
    Don’t shoot it — a waste
    of ammo. Tow it quickly
    to any junkyard.
77. milquetoast confessions
    Prefer milk over
    water. Drives slowly in the
    right lane. Needs glasses.
78. tricks 2024
    Deepfake your friend in
    a compromising photo.
    Gaslight a lover.
79. project 2025
    So many wicked
    ideas crammed into a
    political book.
80. pot pourri
    His clothes reeked, his hair
    reeked. But the officer could
    not find any weed.
81. one way to two way
    No way this one-way
    should change to a two-way street.
    This is not the way.
82. the halting road
    Every 50 yards,
    another stop sign ruined
    the daily commute.
83. klepto phase
    He would snag bits and
    pieces from family rooms
    and closets. But why?
84. exercise ratio
    For every hour
    spent sedentary, walk for
    10 minutes or so.
85. never enough spoons
    How do you use so
    many spoons in the kitchen?
    We *have* forks and knives.
86. no plan survives contact with the enemy
    “Everyone has a
    plan until they get punched in
    the mouth.” — Mike Tyson
87. the telltale yawn
    Tired ran across his
    face as the mild evening stretched
    into darkest night.
88. cleaning out the fridge
    Shelf after shelf needs
    wiping down after taking
    out all the spoiled foods.
89. little annoyances
    Having a split nail;
    drivers not using blinkers;
    volume up too loud.
90. and a 12-foot skeleton comes to life
    Ghosts who haunt your house.
    Bats that become vampires.
    Witches casting spells.
91. the menu planning board
    Balancing the needs
    of all, while trying out some
    brand new recipes.
92. homeless smorgasbord
    Sandwiches, chips and
    drinks. Tepid soup and other
    assorted handouts.
93. modern circles of hell
    Traffic, lousy weed,
    digital trolling, health care,
    no wifi signal.
94. stress won’t go away
    Knotted stomach aches
    while body tenses up. Each
    hour, agony.
95. ballot box blues
    Casting votes for hope
    or fear, progress or regress,
    woman or man-child.
96. the office beginning
    A blur of new names
    and faces. Learning passwords
    and daily routines.
97. the missing son
    He snuck out of the
    house, to party all night with
    friends and miscreants.
98. creative output
    In mash notes and hot
    dishes, in running errands
    and taking selfies.
99. family squabble
    They agreed to bouts
    of counseling, not knowing
    it would lead to fights.
100. the break room haven
     A quiet place to
     heat lunch and drink coffee, to
     sit and just be there.
101. the biggest parade of all
     Stand proud, Birmingham:
     Our parade serves as the best
     salute to our vets.

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Video: Why we celebrate Labor Day

Happy Labor Day! Watch this quick look at the holiday from USA Today.

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1. the war on books
   It is not enough
   to decry books, but to stop
   others from access.
2. most wanted librarians
   They’re outlaws because
   they fight for freedom to read,
   to think and to share.
3. a trip to the emergency room
   Waiting among the
   sickies to be processed and
   tested and restored.
4. a tendency towards warm soda
   They would drink cans of
   Coke straight off the counter, no
   ice, like weirdos. *burp*
5. car shopping 2024
   Check out a bunch of
   websites to find suitable
   used cars to purchase.
6. the ever-tightening belt
   Paycheck to paycheck,
   staying afloat (barely) all
   while making ends meet.
7. the rise of sports gambling
   Bet on every score,
   tackle, pitch, penalty, free
   throw, fight, injury.
8. striking distance
   Never friendly to
   labor, the South finds itself
   with more new unions.
9. bonus ticket
   Invite a friend to
   accompany us to the
   concert this evening.
10. things that go wrong baking cookies
    Too much of something,
    an uneven oven or
    butter at wrong temp.
11. the fraternity
    Fighting one minute,
    playing together the next.
    brotherly love wins.
12. stop signs and speed bumps
    The neighborhood would
    no longer tolerate those
    speeders on the street.
13. the lonely whistleblower
    Her voice proclaims the
    misdeeds of others, only
    to be brushed aside.
14. driving to mexico
    Get off road before
    nightfall. Carry bribe money
    for policía.
15. looking for peppadews
    Wandering the aisles
    and asking the employees
    about this pepper.
16. never order the chicken salad
    They make the dish with
    whatever chicken scraps are
    left lying around.
17. browsing mckay’s
    Aisles of beautiful
    used books, crate after crate of
    albums, lots of games.
18. forced to use the drive-thru
    We wished to order
    at the counter, but they locked
    the damn restaurant.
19. who needs a driver’s license anymore?
    Kids today with their
    screens and anxieties don’t
    want to drive a car.
20. pranking gone wrong
    They’re usually
    just excuses to be mean
    while having a laugh.
21. barbecue dynasty
    They carried on in
    their father’s name, working the
    pits from early dawn.
22. jump higher than ever
    His vertical reach
    was more than before, which was
    a total surprise.
23. possessions unloaded
    Before moving, the
    couple disgorged themselves of
    all worldly chattels.
24. no more farce
    Satire is no
    longer possible when real
    life grows outlandish.
25. homes for one euro
    In Italy, the
    oldest broken down houses
    are sold for nothing.
26. boundless neediness
    The singer begged for
    applause and shouting from a
    weary audience.
27. alcoholics synonymous
    Everywhere she turned,
    her friends drank themselves nearly
    to death. Spirits crushed.
28. no one blogs anymore
    It’s all TikTok and
    Instagram. Not Snapchat nor
    Twitter. (Some Facebook.)
29. coltrane’s ‘alabama’
    Written to echo
    King’s speech and played in tribute
    to four little girls.
30. the storytellers on facebook
    Long rambling tales of
    personal loss and minor
    triumphs. Hit Publish.
31. have i seen this before?
    So many movies,
    books, TV shows and bands are
    hard to keep in mind.
32. only so many saturdays in a year
    A plethora of
    choices from festivals to
    art shows to cook-offs.
33. humorous decline
    My ability
    to pen punchlines has failed to
    keep up with the times.
34. how we commemorate this memorial day
    Picnic, prayer, beach trip,
    grilling, cleaning graves, reflect,
    storytelling, “Taps.”
35. christmas card from 1998
    Chock full of witty
    statistics from my own hum
    drum everyday life.
36. has the internet made us smarter?
    We have access to
    the sum total of human
    knowledge on our phones.
37. commute under protest
    Wake up, get in the
    car, face traffic, find parking,
    repeat at day’s end.
38. up next … summer
    Carefree days of hot
    weather, cold drinks, all under
    a brilliant blue sky.
39. the unexpected roommate
    She arrived on the
    doorstep with no place to go.
    She crashed on the couch.
40. an end to toxic relationships
    No more abusive
    language. No more gaslighting.
    No more tolerance.
41. kid art
    An unkempt sheaf of
    old drawings gathers dust. Should
    we keep them always?
42. dear daughter
    I miss you, and I
    hope you’re the one to break the
    absolute silence.
43. the murky path forward
    To bootstrap yourself
    requires a menu of
    tough (some bad) choices.
44. a potpourri of plants
    Green leaves and swelling
    branches bring the room to lush
    life. Growth beckons us.
45. the gentle art of sitting outside
    Despite the heat and
    mosquitoes, it behooves us
    to sit a spell there.
46. interviews and connections
    A job on the line,
    it all comes down to sincere
    likability.
47. the first cruise
    They boarded the huge
    ship, ready to explore nooks
    and crannies alike.
48. the bad girlfriend
    She led him to wrong
    choices and cackled at his
    casual cruelty.
49. chipmunk on the loose
    Strange visitor from
    the outside scampers through the
    unguarded kitchen.
50. staycation sex
    Like vacation sex,
    but in oddball poses and
    various spaces.
51. waves and waves and waves
    Their pool antics made
    for tiny tidal waves while
    they shrieked in laughter.
52. road trip to texas
    Gas up and head west.
    Follow horizon till we
    end up in Lubbock.
53. to pay it forward
    So rarely do we
    get the chance to help someone
    we see in ourselves.
54. for the love of tires
    Two tires for this
    car, two tires for that car.
    Rolling toward debt.
55. the closet of ill-fitting clothes
    Not a shirt nor a
    pants still fit. Time for a big
    fashion overhaul.
56. invasion of the rats
    They left little gifts
    on desks of unsuspecting
    workers overnight.
57. hail the conquering webmaster
    It’s not easy to
    create a company site,
    but she did it well.
58. rules of power outages
    Do not open the
    fridge. Do not believe the time
    promised for repair.
59. aligning with corporate values
    Do we see eye to
    eye when it comes to virtue
    and dignity? Aye.
60. antiquing on the road
    Browse the aisles at quaint
    repositories for some
    old, old bric-a-brac.
61. where does the money go?
    We spend it as soon
    as we get it. “Flush with cash”
    turns into “flat broke.”
62. anniversary the second
    Never have I had
    a partner who makes me smile
    so effortlessly.
63. selling art
    Paintings and sculptures,
    photos and music. Pricing
    creativity.
64. the agony of split nails
    They get caught on just
    about everything, making
    healing seem hopeless.
65. authoritarianism 2024
    The world embraces
    the strongman, at a true cost
    to democracy.
66. trash city
    Bag after bag fills
    the can on the street. We’re a
    throw-away culture.
67. the paper plate experiment
    Forget the dishes:
    Live a little with dishware
    that can disappear.
68. the speed of mendacity
    A lie is halfway
    round the world before the truth
    has got its boots on.
69. advance memories
    My dreams sometimes drift
    back to the newsroom when it
    all brimmed with promise.
70. the proper loading of a dishwasher
    Cups and bowls on the
    top rack; plates, bowls, utensils
    and pans on bottom.
71. unsolicited flattery
    He butters me up
    with compliments and sweetest
    nothings. I do blush.
72. gathering on the fourth
    The neighborhood brings
    meats, sides and desserts aligned
    with last initials.
73. sweaty overall
    The humidity’s
    stuck at 100 percent
    in blistering heat.
74. gotta have a hat
    A hairnet does no
    one any favors, but a
    cap always fits nice.
75. summer of sharks
    In waist-deep water
    does the fierce predator lurk,
    jaws at the ready.
76. ramble on
    She would wind her way
    around a sentence, with one
    more set to collide.
77. forming an identity
    Pieces combining
    to denote temperament,
    attitude, ego.
78. the kitchen grind
    Cooks a blur with prep
    work and firing steaks. Plate
    plating after plate.
79. to catch a president
    He’s guilty, but he
    won’t see the inside of a
    prison this go-round.
80. locking it all up
    One key for the front
    door, the back door, the warehouse
    door and offices.
81. great at communication
    Speaks clearly and with
    humility. Listens to
    every nuanced phrase.
82. talking-to-teen talking points
    Pay attention. Do
    better. Clean up your room. Take
    out the trash. Grow up!
83. being seen is everything
    I mean, just try not
    being seen, an exercise
    in mute frustration.
84. chefs
    Gang of knife-wielding
    sickos who smoke, drink, curse and
    turn out great cuisine.
85. he wore a red bandanna
    Around his neck, it
    reminded him of a girl
    with bright shiny eyes.
86. headsets and joysticks
    Gaming online with
    your best friends, total strangers
    and vicious smack talk.
87. the malfunctioning refrigerator
    It got hot, it got
    cold. It couldn’t stay on task
    for long periods.
88. unsolicited feedback
    They come at you with
    criticisms and jabs while
    you’re trying to work.
89. the checklist
    The charter kept him
    on track for opening and
    closing the office.
90. painting projects
    This one is a blue
    lobster, while this other one
    is a tiger face.
91. face off
    The two candidates
    slung proposals and insults
    for 90 minutes.
92. choice of side dish
    Corn on the cob, baked
    beans, turnip greens, mac and cheese,
    fried okra, coleslaw.
93. a northern heat wave
    The furnace that is
    our outside arrives in the
    once chill Yankee states.
94. ooh la la, gay paris
    The City of Light
    welcomes competing athletes
    from the world over.
95. an unpredictable violence
    He could lash out and
    punch walls at any moment.
    We tolerate it.
96. narrating your life
    A subconscious urge
    to bring order by speaking
    aloud mundane tasks.
97. waiting for updates
    Check email. Wait. Grind
    teeth. Wait some more. Check email.
    No news is no news.
98. shield me from the microwave
    You can’t convince me
    that it ain’t bombarding me
    with radiation.
99. radiation and the modern phone
    Supergadget or
    mini-nuclear reactor
    for pocket cancer?
100. both sides now
     He felt it best to
     prep for the conversation
     using a checklist.
101. morsels for the mind
     What do we feed on
     that helps stimulate the brain?
     Smart choice, smarter us.

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Video: Chicago performs “Saturday in the Park”
for “A Capitol Fourth” TV special.

•

Happy birthday, America!

Enjoy this musical celebration from the 2023 “A Capitol Fourth” special.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGvHUsZhSuQ

Video: 2024 National Memorial Day Concert

Happy Memorial Day!

Enjoy music and more from the 2024 National Memorial Day Concert in Washington.

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1. the clique round the office
   Splinter group lunches
   together and shares their best
   inside jokes and memes.
2. giving back giving forward
   Spend the time to help
   those in your community
   who need a kind deed.
3. suing the family
   Where has the stepdad
   hidden loot promised to the
   next generation?
4. beacons in an analog world
   With no cell service,
   they charged their phones only to
   use them as flashlights.
5. sharing the photo albums
   The residents burst
   to life as they gazed at old
   pictures from their youth.
6. forcing myself to stay present
   It’s too easy to
   zone out with a phone or book
   and miss life as is.
7. coffee nook
   Huddled over a
   small table, they shared their lives
   with lattes and love.
8. a daughter’s willfulness
   She could be careless
   with a stray barb, her meanness
   as a defense move.
9. dad at a distance
   Without custody,
   he was just a stranger who
   popped up at random.
10. the lonely garbage can
    The cart, always with
    a little trash, was missed each
    time the truck rolled by.
11. bed of theseus
    She planned to swap out
    sheets, pillows and mattresses
    to suit her own style.
12. when introverts collide
    They gave each other
    the space needed to renew
    from together time.
13. escaping country
    Too many hicks who
    think they know about the world
    and shout it out loud.
14. the spare freezer
    A hiding spot for
    popsicles of all stripes and
    fresh chicken livers.
15. the fate of democracy
    What’s at stake? Just our
    free and fair elections which
    allow us to rule.
16. the magic of stir fry
    Lots of chopping, a
    little peanut oil, 5
    minutes in the wok.
17. the streamer’s goodbye
    It is not enough
    to cancel a show … Remove
    it entirely.
18. a tough room
    The jokes came with few
    laughs; an audience of one
    remained unamused.
19. white history vs. black history
    One is a complete
    fairytale, the other is
    the absolute truth.
20. fair warning
    Hey, if you didn’t
    want to be in a poem,
    don’t date a poet.
21. the fallible mechanic
    It took a few tries
    before the car was running
    smoothly once again.
22. the threat of ice
    Roads without treatment
    become deadly slick with a
    slightly frozen rain.
23. at build-a-bear
    Stuffed companions rise
    from tables of child labor
    and inspiration.
24. separation anxiety
    Don’t stay away too
    long, for I shall melt down in
    to a wan puddle.
25. ai shortcuts
    Write a love poem
    or draw a flaming castle
    with unicorn heads.
26. frozen pizza excavation
    It tasted much worse
    than normal cardboard pie. We
    tossed it in the trash.
27. tiktok addiction
    Flip through videos,
    all while consuming junk and
    skin and dumb dad jokes.
28. driving in downtown atlanta at night with google maps
    Speed up, slow down, miss
    the turn again. Drive in a
    bike lane, pray for us.
29. fleeing north korea
    Harrowing journey
    through the wilds of China and
    other Asian lands.
30. the birthday weekend
    Hours of fun and
    cuddles, a band, a movie
    and a homemade cake.
31. happy galentine’s day
    Celebrate women
    and their grand accomplishments
    and their awesomeness!
32. types of love
    Friendly, romantic,
    playful, self, familial,
    neurotic, endless.
33. credit card scheme
    Sign up and take the
    bonus. Wait for another
    offer and repeat.
34. the flat out front
    The car with the bum
    tire decorated the
    quiet one-way street.
35. the unyielding zipper
    Caught menacingly
    on the crotch of my black long
    johns, foul metal trap.
36. dreaming of a spring garden
    Hoarding seeds, making
    compost, envisioning all
    the green vegetables.
37. the looming election
    Will enough people
    vote? Will they help save our frag-
    ile democracy?
38. constant darkness
    Polar oddity:
    days and days without any
    sunlight. Endless night.
39. poor things
    Emma Stone transforms
    from a large toddler into
    a Frankenhooker.
40. barbie
    Plastic doll endures
    existential crisis that
    spurs patriarchy.
41. oppenheimer
    Science nerds convene
    in desert to orchestrate
    a really big bang.
42. state vs. state
    Abortion seekers,
    immigrants and trans youth lurch
    across state borders.
43. the great american ban-a-thon
    Libraries become
    battleground over books that
    possess real knowledge.
44. burn it down
    Oppressive systems
    create hardship when making
    Hollywood magic.
45. magic city graffiti
    Overpasses and
    walls tagged with an uplifting
    “You are beautiful.”
46. 1-d chess
    The battle of wits
    was no more than a skirmish
    of teeny IQs.
47. misfit day for misfit play
    Take a day to leap
    for joy and celebrate the
    wonders of our lives.
48. the bad book
    Written, then stolen,
    a manuscript published un-
    der false pretenses.
49. the show must not go on
    Dancers take flight. But
    after long intermission,
    the gig is canceled.
50. subscription models everywhere
    From streaming vids to
    heated seats, the world runs on
    tokens, more tokens.
51. airplane mode
    Knees aching, eyes dry,
    air stagnant, smartphone useless,
    and armed with pretzels.
52. keeping up with the chinese
    Rivals for money,
    power and population.
    Who wins, who loses?
53. the yummiest bowl
    You pick the fixins,
    they cook them on a round grill,
    you eat the results.
54. the nasty office sink
    Get it together!
    Wash the coffee mugs, and put
    away the dry ones.
55. city of the sun
    Streets aligned with the
    stars and the moon, pointing to
    a higher power.
56. the color purple
    Learn to love yourself,
    despite all of the hatred,
    abuse, jealousy.
57. designated cook
    Rummage through the fridge
    and find us something we can
    eat for our dinner.
58. winter’s last gasp
    Winds howl, and rain pours.
    We shiver from the icy
    cold season again.
59. an ip world
    We’ll never have to
    come up with original
    work ever again.
60. ai job hunting
    “Smart” robot sifts through
    online listings to find a
    suitable posting.
61. the dirtiest microwave
    All six sides covered
    in grease, with a turntable
    caked with gunk and grime.
62. a hole in the wall
    Fist-sized openings
    display a raw timeline of
    anger and violence.
63. saving in the twenties
    The ant squirrels away
    money, while the grasshopper
    will not retire.
64. football mania
    This bruising sport has
    never been more popular
    with the whole dang world.
65. disability rights and you
    At any moment,
    we can join the ranks of the
    disabled. Fight now.
66. welcome back
    The flowers and trees,
    birds and animals come out
    of hiding for spring.
67. the dying treadmill
    Each day’s journey is
    a little shorter, barely
    worth putting on shoes.
68. escape is imminent
    We no longer have
    to stay within our prisons
    of the soul and mind.
69. 10,000 steps
    Walk a few miles while
    stuck at your desk or out on
    an hour-long lunch.
70. blind spots
    Even when we try
    to be better people, we
    fall short of our goals.
71. trauma is just a state of mind
    Surviving (barely)
    unspeakable horror leaves
    residual pain.
72. head to the beach
    Pack up the car, and
    point it south. The ocean and
    cold beer are waiting.
73. paint it till it’s perfect
    It wasn’t quite the
    shade of green needed, so we
    started all over.
74. an abundance of gift cards
    Save a few bucks here,
    a few bucks there. Soon, it adds
    up to real money.
75. creative parking
    No ticket or tow
    truck will deter me from the
    perfect outlaw spot.
76. bless these food stamps
    Getting to eat, one
    of the highlights of being
    unemployed for months.
77. the human pillow
    Aggressive felines
    relax on warm body, not
    on ample bedspread.
78. making paella
    The trick is to let
    the rice cook for awhile to
    get that crisp bottom.
79. 17-syllable tabloid
    There’s only so much
    drama I can stuff into
    three short lines of verse.
80. let us rejoice
    With all the bad that’s
    surrounding us, let us be
    grateful for good things.
81. an extra helping of depression
    It masks itself in
    extra sleep and slowly drains
    my vitality.
82. looming deadline
    Pressure’s on, gotta
    make sure the project stays on
    track till the finish.
83. the joy of being near
    I follow her from
    room to room like a lovesick
    pup wagging his tail.
84. fear of an ai world
    Mankind obsolete
    in a digital hellhole
    that we created.
85. pocket foods
    Morsels encased in
    pastry — baked, fried or steamed — from
    all diverse cultures.
86. malady compounded
    She told the doctor
    about her chronic pain. He
    said that it’s just pain.
87. the drivable money pit
    A radiator.
    The front suspension. Costly
    repairs will not stop.
88. one key short
    One stupid lock stands
    in the way. Curse these tumblers
    keeping us outside.
89. oversharing unlimited
    We have this habit
    of sharing the most private
    secrets while online.
90. the flour massacre
    They were just trying
    to get food when they were gunned
    down in the open.
91. the local rate
    When companies pay
    less for the same work performed,
    that’s a big red flag.
92. tax the billionaires
    No plutocrat I
    know opposes it. Send them
    the bill right away.
93. the broken-down washer
    We swapped the old one
    for the new one, only to
    find the new one choked.
94. unneeded pressure
    She found the added
    coercion unhelpful and
    stressful at the least.
95. queen of predictions
    Gazing into the
    crystal ball, she made guesses
    about the future.
96. dessert for days
    Enough sweets to feed
    an army (or two) looking
    for a final course.
97. tween rockers
    Their fledgling fame starts
    and ends with a promo pic
    on a cookie box.
98. the war over drugs
    It is one thing to
    legalize pot, another
    to get it started.
99. the pool is open
    Alert the lifeguards
    and get out the deck chairs. It’s
    time to go swimming.
100. dei gratia
     Working to include
     everyone threatens only
     those with privilege.
101. death of a college
     Entire campus
     swallowed by debt, and students
     flee to other schools.

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Photo: 7beachbum (CC)

Next Tuesday is Super Tuesday. Are you ready to vote in Alabama?

Voters in 16 states will head to the polls for the primary election. We have the sample ballots for Jefferson and Shelby Counties for the primaries.

Find your polling place/districts.

Check out the top federal, state and county offices up for grabs. And peruse the Alabama Voter Guide 2024, with voting procedures and frequently asked questions.

For easier viewing, you can print, download or zoom to full screen with each ballot.

Vote next Tuesday, with runoffs on April 16.

• • •

Sample ballots for all 67 counties.

• • •

Jefferson County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Jefferson County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Shelby County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Shelby County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Alabama Voter Guide 2024

[Mobile version]

• • •

Also:

• More info on the lone state amendment on the ballot
• AP guide to Super Tuesday

• • •

More Vote 2024 coverage.

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1. parking entrepreneurs
   They tow all makes with
   enthusiasm and greed.
   What a slimy scam.
2. surprise, it’s wholesome
   Click on a cartoon
   to discover heartwarming
   vibes and pure intent.
3. love your body
   We mourn what shape we
   could have been and fret over
   the shape we’re in now.
4. the gift card that never came
   Checked the mailbox each
   day for a special surprise.
   All I got was junk.
5. matching glasses, matching tennies
   We look so cute side
   by side in identical
   pairs of specs and sneaks.
6. where did we park again?
   I placed the pin in
   the map app, but it led us
   to an empty lot.
7. the time to go costume shopping is 2 weeks ago
   Getting down to the
   crummy outfits and props left
   on the empty shelves.
8. bones all the way down
   Scare the kids with a
   massive show of creepiness …
   12-foot skeleton!
9. ode to big brother
   To the blindsides and
   vetoes, the hook-ups and back
   doors, and showmances!
10. writers vs. chatgpt
    No way John Henry
    could shovel as much crap as
    the modern AI.
11. strikes across america
    The labor movement
    is reawakening with
    vigor and vision.
12. dishwasher on strike
    No more scrubbing pots
    and pans, rinsing utensils
    or spraying soiled plates.
13. pivot to video
    On the one hand, too
    cumbersome and dull. On the
    other hand, TikTok.
14. shiny new fences
    Plank by plank they went
    up, to hide their hideous
    yards from the neighbors.
15. tricks 2023
    Egg their electric
    car; ask if treats are keto
    friendly; indict them.
16. the parade of t-shirts
    Her love of music
    shone brightest in the shirts she
    wore to big concerts.
17. if i should fall down
    Call the police, call
    the paramedics and get
    me some painkillers.
18. the hits of yesteryear
    I remember most
    of the songs charted in my
    adolescent days.
19. too weak to declutter
    Stuff stays stuff because
    the alternative is to
    get rid of some stuff.
20. the chores no mores
    You could clean the house,
    do laundry, wash dishes. Or
    live in grownup filth.
21. the tracker
    Know where your loved ones
    are at all times, or until
    they turn off the app.
22. most popular weirdos
    They seem to be the
    It Couple when it comes to
    eclectic groupies.
23. rocket rest area
    North Alabama
    along I-65 stands
    a Saturn 1B.
24. halloween 2023
    A million Barbies
    and Kens in a sea of pink
    outfits and cocktails.
25. we’re all shilling something
    Artwork, classes, books,
    pimento cheese, necklaces,
    essential oils.
26. first amendment
    Freedom of speech, press,
    religion, assembly and
    call on government.
27. candy opus
    There’s nothing like Trick
    or Treating in the wild and
    receiving full bars.
28. the annual sickness
    From outta nowhere,
    a sore throat and an achy
    head to wreck my week.
29. at the movies with taylor swift
    Thirty-foot-tall star
    struts and sings with the whole world
    singing along, too.
30. rain at the amphitheater
    Waiting for the band,
    a storm swoops in to drench us
    for a few minutes.
31. the age of streaming
    They used to bundle
    channels. Now they bundle shows
    and movies. Can’t win.
32. the power of now
    Measuring time in
    minutes? Try moments to keep
    you present always.
33. keep your unpopular opinions to yourself
    Eastern Europe, the
    Middle East, reparations,
    abortion and guns.
34. peak fall
    Wrapped in a sweater,
    walking through leaves with a hot
    mug of fresh cider.
35. humanitarian pauses
    When we stop for a
    moment and let people live
    without doubt or fear.
36. not everything has to be a musical
    A book to a film
    to a sequel to a play
    to another film.
37. women and poc and queer artists
    See their movies, buy
    their books, hit their concerts and
    spend to support them.
38. those who have seen war
    Those who have seen war
    clamor for peace and friendship
    among our nations.
39. forgot priming
    Move all furniture,
    tape all edges, put down tarps,
    mix a color, paint.
40. nose-to-tail dining
    A piece of chicken
    gnawed to the bone. Very clean
    and very Asian.
41. the interminable job listing
    Must have these 20
    skills. Five years experience.
    For “entry level.”
42. crumbs everywhere
    On the seat and in
    the folds of clothing. On the
    floor and round the mouth.
43. more options than time
    Do power users
    learn all the shortcuts? Or do
    they make do with some?
44. no encores
    The house lights came on.
    The audience stopped clapping.
    The house lights came on.
45. waiting for the tow truck
    Smoke is coming from
    the engine. At least nothing
    is on fire. Yet.
46. the right analogy
    It can crystallize
    a thought or lock in a way
    to visualize.
47. the perception of crime
    Are these streets safe? It
    all comes down to personal
    experiences.
48. inflation deflation
    Shopping at the store
    brings shock after sticker shock.
    Just trying to eat.
49. the invisible pedestrians
    They walk in the tall
    shadows of night, not very
    streetwise nor secure.
50. no strangers at the table
    Breaking bread, sharing
    wine. All are welcome at this
    motley gathering.
51. unleash the mariah
    I just want you … Make
    my wish come true. All I want
    for Christmas is you.
52. celebrity memoirs
    Before they were some-
    body, they were nobody.
    Everybody cheer.
53. hot christmas gifts 2023
    Some kitchen device,
    bitcoin gift card, custom soap,
    bulletproof clothing.
54. the world is slowly dying
    A warming Earth needs
    not an infestation of
    us callous mammals.
55. the seventeenth best leader
    Sometimes you gotta
    lower your standards to put
    anyone in charge.
56. tv as homework
    Watch each show with a
    notebook to remember all
    the names and events.
57. kicked off tiktok
    Stand up for what you
    believe and be lumped in with
    all the cranks and scum.
58. life in a food desert
    Surrounded by fast
    food and gas marts, unable
    to buy fresh items.
59. the cardboard rainbow
    Picking paint colors
    from dozens of shades of green
    and gray leaves me blue.
60. painting the rec room
    Tape down the edges.
    Don’t drip on the carpet! Make
    sure the paint’s even.
61. to kill a mockingbird
    Small town justice plays
    out before a young girl’s eyes
    in the dark Deep South.
62. too many apps
    One for banking, one
    for texting, one for social
    media et al.
63. modern christmas shopping
    Visit stores and sites
    or give all your money to
    Amazon.com?
64. i’m not comfortable in this body
    The shape I’m in is
    unrecognizable to
    my earlier self.
65. do re mi ay ay ay
    Forget the hits. Hang
    on to novelty songs that
    unite us in hate.
66. mr. fixit
    He can take any
    household project and turn it
    into one less chore.
67. exercising privilege
    I can ignore things
    in the news and retreat to
    my secret safe space.
68. apartheid state
    Those in power keep
    residents under foot through
    violent enforcement.
69. lessons in love
    Learning that you are
    capable of giving and
    receiving true love.
70. the suspect mold
    Becoming tired
    from out of nowhere. Having
    trouble with breathing.
71. counting my spoons
    Plan for the day: Take
    out the trash. Eat leftovers.
    Spot clean the bathroom.
72. setting boundaries
    No, Mom, you can’t talk
    to me that way. It’s over
    the line and too harsh.
73. the recurring trip to the in-laws
    Oh, the terrible
    food and mandatory group
    pic. Family sucks.
74. the cooking equation
    A question of base
    ingredients, prep tools and
    time before dinner.
75. forming habits
    Incremental change
    brings gradual but steady
    improvement each day.
76. a chance to shine
    We all need a chance
    to shine, to show off our skills
    and benevolence.
77. what we have left of the year
    Not counting weekends
    and holidays, no time left
    to dillydally.
78. the darkness and the coldness
    Let winter come. Let
    it bury us in chilly
    nights. Let winter come.
79. their christmas day tradition
    Hit the cineplex
    to watch the worst movie while
    giggling in horror.
80. fancy scoops
    The chefs conspired
    on gourmet ice cream flavors
    never seen before.
81. even kwanzaa and hanukkah
    Multicultural
    Santa respects and loves all
    holiday customs.
82. joy to this world
    I used to have the
    holiday spirit. Got to
    get that back somehow.
83. appointments of fate
    What planner you pick
    determines if your new year
    goes well or badly.
84. the creature in the crawl space
    Some animal is
    roaming down there and leaving
    gifts of poo and stank.
85. the tiniest country
    It sits atop an
    offshore platform and boasts a
    robust royalty.
86. banned words, 2023 edition
    AI, X, EGOT,
    ChatGPT, FYP
    and dystopian.
87. the joy of creation
    Words and music, knives
    and paintings, whatever you
    make really matters.
88. the party to end all parties
    Let’s have one more toast
    to celebrate before it’s
    2024.
89. a clean slate
    Time to start anew.
    New hopes, new dreams and new goals.
    The new year awaits.
90. will there be enough time this year?
    For getting enough
    exercise, reading books or
    planting a garden.
91. pretend snow
    A pretend blizzard
    with a pretend fire for
    a pretend snuggle.
92. will it start?
    Press the button. No.
    Press it again. No. Press. No.
    Press. No. Press. Yes. Whew.
93. crisp $100 bills
    Barely used, always
    welcome. Peel them off and show
    everyone who’s boss.
94. life in a war zone
    Crowding in basements,
    feeling the booms of shelling,
    too aware of death.
95. gift card jubilee
    Where to eat and drink,
    to shop and spend this heaping
    virtual bounty.
96. mom in the wild
    Nurtures, but also
    accuses. Sometimes friendly
    but also prickly.
97. kid chefs
    A kitchen alive
    with activity as they
    whip up gourmet meals.
98. midlife crisis van trip
    Gone for 3 days to
    find himself. Only to come
    back still douchey.
99. escape with fiction
    Enough self help! She
    wants to lose herself in a
    mystery romance.
100. the helper
     Issuing gentle
     reminders, keeping eyes on
     the clock, pitching in.
101. those darn personality tests
     They purport to show
     our true selves. But they distort
     our complex nature.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

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Photo: Birmingham Public Library (CC)

Happy New Year! Have a terrific and radiant 2024.

Video: “All I Want for Christmas …”

Merry Christmas!

Video: Comedian Leslie Jones saves your Thanksgiving
from family quarrels. 

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy this clip from “The Daily Show.”