It's been about six months since I moved www.verastic.com from Blogger to Wordpress. There are things I couldn't do on Blogger that I can now do on Wordpress. But still, I do miss you, Blogger. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I really, really do.
I notice a lot of people still have me on their blog roll, and according to their blogroll, I have not updated since December 2010. This isn't true. Please delete me from your blog roll and add me again. The www.verastic.com on your blogroll is not the one I'm on right now. Don't try to understand it. Just re-add me.
If you use readers, then add my RSS Feed address: https://feeds.feedburner.com/verastic
If www.verastic.com does not work on your blogroll, then use my RSS Feed Address. Like I said, don't try to understand it. I've long given up too.
If you were previously subscribed to www.verastic.com via e-mail, then I'm sure you probably don't get those updates anymore. Please re-subscribe. I apologize for the inconvenience.
I really miss you, Blogger :-(
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Verastically Livin'
Verastically Livin'
Absurdity.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
It's May 22nd
The title of this post may have you thinking, "Yeah, so what?" Well, last year, I blogged about having spotted a billboard that said Jesus Christ would be returning on May 21st 2011. Today is May 22nd 2011. Curious about what those people (the sponsors) may have to say now in defense of their failed thesis, I visited their website wecanknow.com and well --- they have nothing to say.
ndndndnd
ndndndnd
Monday, January 10, 2011
Update!
Hey folks!!
Here's the thing. Remember that time I said you should grant me one weekend to move my blog? Ehen. Well, I did use that one weekend to move my blog. However, apparently, moving my blog had more collateral damage than I initially anticipated.
First of all, most people still think I'm in the process of moving my blog because their blog roll has not told them that I've been updating. I am hurt!
Secondly, I lost my blogroll :-(
Thirdly, if you were subscribed to my blog - through RSS or e-mail, you've probably stopped receiving those posts in your e-mail, too.
It's all so dandy, isn't it?
Well, here's the solution:
Take me off your blog roll and add me again. Leave a comment on my new blog, so I can get your blog address again. Yes, it's still www.verastic.com [the one you're reading right now is dot blogspot]. Resubscribe to my posts via RSS/e-mail. And then, we'll all be happy.
P.S. Verastic's 5th anniversary is coming up ... and there's a giveaway. Come on! You gotta get with the program! Wouldn't want you to miss out. See you >>> www.verastic.com
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Grant Me This One Weekend, Please
I should have updated yesterday, but I didn't. Like I mentioned in my last post, the verastic dot com that you see here today, you will soon see it no more.
On that note, grant me this one weekend to work on this blog. So much to be done. I'm only e-moving. But it feels like I'm moving physical luggage from Point A to Point B. Everything is disorganized, and I don't know where to put what. Grant me this weekend to work on this blog. I could update and give you a shabby post, but you deserve much more. Just this weekend, please.
And I will be back by Monday by God's grace. If you come here and it says the site does not exist or something like that, fear not. It will be back on. And I hope you'll like what you see.
Have a great weekend.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Verastic 2.0
Very, very soon,
I mean, really soon,
The verastic dot com that you see today, you will see it no more. It'll be gone forever, and be replaced with a brand new Verastic dot com 2.0. I'm moving to WordPress. It's hard to admit, but I have outgrown Blogger. So on WordPress, I'll blog more often, reveal myself more often, get to know you better, and hopefully ... well, I won't tell you about my plans to extort a 2012 Range Rover Sport from each of you.
But before I move, keep these dates in mind, please:
January 14th: This is the most important {Repeat: MOST IMPORTANT} date in the Verastic history. Thia was the day - 21 years ago - when yours truly was born. [Insert: Pinocchio nose]. It's coming up --- again. And in my usual kind spirit, I'm letting myself receive gifts from you generous folks. You may visit my wish list for ideas. And no, I do not wish to discuss the fact that I have turned 21 more than once.
January 26th: Verastically Livin' Blog will be five years old. Five! Of course, we won't be celebrating it by just saying "Yay, happy birthday." This year, I did a giveaway. It was a book - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's book, "The Thing Around Your Neck." Next year, however, well ... stay tuned for the giveaway. But know this, it'll be bigger and better, and you don't want to miss it.
February 14th: Don't panic. I'm not requiring that you go to Jared and buy a pair of diamond studs - although, that would be nice. A girl never tires of receiving these things. Oh, wait. I've never received a pair of diamond studs. Well, a girl never tires of wanting to receive one. But most importantly, Show Me Your Love will be right on! And this time, it will be even better! Where are my hot, sexy couples? I need those pictures. More details coming up soon.
P.S. The new verastic {AKA Verastic 2.0} will have more features. Prepare to be prepared to be prepared to be dazzled.
P.P.S. In case you have not noticed, today is the 14th of December .... exactly one month to my birthday. Woot, woot!!! Where's the surprise party??
P.P.P.S. I need to contact my church. They still haven't put my birthday under the website's "Upcoming Events" column. My birthday is an event, darn it!
P.P.P.P.S Don't even get me started on the US Government, their refusal to make January 14th a national public holiday. I mean, come on!
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Monday, December 13, 2010
Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: Magun
Funny enough, I had never heard of the word magun until I moved to the United States. It was when I moved here that I knew there was such a thing - whether myth or reality. When I hear stories of people being so consumed with a type of love that is so close to hate (and/or frustration), so much that they get off the deep end and do something crazy like kill the object of their anger/obsession and then kill themselves, I wonder if they are crazy. And then, on second thoughts, I begin to rationalize their action(s), saying that perhaps, they were pushed to (or beyond) their limits. But what's the difference between using magun on and killing your partner?
When you love a person to the point of destroying him/her when he/she messes up, is that still love? When you place an embargo on a person's private part, promising death or perpetual uselessness to whoever dares to climb this person, do you still convince yourself that it is love? I have never met a person who did/does magun. If I have, I am not aware of it. I have never met a person who is a victim of magun either. But on tomorrow's show with Mo, a woman boldly steps out, saying that she was a victim of magun.
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| Mo discusses Magun with a guest |
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| Chief Olufisayo, a Traditionalist, discusses Magun with Mo |
Join Mo as she discusses obsessions in love relationships and explores the myths and realities of magun. If you have ever been (or are currently now) in love or uncontrollably obsessed with a fellow human being, then you shouldn't miss this show. That said, I understand that if you're uncontrollably obsessed with a fellow human being, you may not want even know you're that you're uncontrollably obsessed. On that note, just watch the show. Sure, you're not obsessed.
Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, December 14th 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm. If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, December 15th 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, December 18th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa). Happy viewing
J
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Saturday, December 11, 2010
Those People Are Evil
Those people, they're evil. I mean Macy's. They're so evil.
They keep sending sales booklets here, and each one is a special sale. Sometimes, they even have the nerve to call it a secret sale, urging me to hurry and come buy up before everyone else does. And I wonder, how can it be secret if you've sent this thing out to thousands, maybe millions, of people?
I was there on Monday evening for the friends and family sale - whatever that might mean. I don't know what friend means to them. And I don't know of any family member who works there. Still, they were able to lure me. I ended up buying three pairs of jeans. Sure, they fit snuggly on me, like lotion on my skin, just the way I like them. And sure, I needed those jeans. But at what cost?
When I left the store, I thought to myself, well, at least I got them on sale. Who knows when next they'll go on sale, those jeans. And then, on Wednesday, I received another sales booklet. This time, they're calling it a WOW! PASS. Come the heck on, man! How's a girl supposed to do anything else with all these sales? I've had to invoke the precious name of my Lord, Jesus, begged Him to help me resist the temptation of shopping. I can't fight this by myself, Lord. I just can't do it! So far, it doesn't look like Jesus is listening. Can't really blame Him. There's a war in Iraq. And in Afghanistan. And one may be brewing between North Korea and South Korea. Plus, millions are dying of hunger. My inability to stop craving new clothes probably isn't on His Urgent list.
But as if that was not bad enough, I got even more sales booklets on Thursday. They're having more sales on jewelry, watches, perfumes, clothes, perfumes, shoes, and much more. It's been less than a week since I bought three pairs of jeans with my exclusive friends and family coupon, and now, I have three more sales booklets screaming my name. Maybe if I pretend that I can't see or hear them, they'll stop luring me.
But as if that was not bad enough, I got even more sales booklets on Thursday. They're having more sales on jewelry, watches, perfumes, clothes, perfumes, shoes, and much more. It's been less than a week since I bought three pairs of jeans with my exclusive friends and family coupon, and now, I have three more sales booklets screaming my name. Maybe if I pretend that I can't see or hear them, they'll stop luring me.
And then, I began to wonder how nice it would be if someone - but who? - would be so kind as to bless me with a Macy's gift card. Oh, I'd love you forever. $2000 (or more) on a Macy's gift card. I don't want cash. My conscience would never let me blow $2000 cash on shopping for clothes and accessories, but if it's already on a gift card, then, I have no choice, do I?
There were warm coats, dazzling pieces of jewelries, hip-hugging skirts, show-stopping jeans, attention-grabbing tops, boss-lady bags ... you get the idea. And I wanted them all. I craved them. Desired them. Coveted them. Needed them. Touched them. Felt them. And in my mind, I owned them. Then I loathed Macy's for making me do them.
I still want the gift card. I'll love you forever and eternity, if you give me one. Just one.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Contrary To Popular Belief
Crying babies are actually not cute. Maybe they're cute to their parents - especially their mothers, but they're not cute to me. No, I do not want to hear your crying baby while I'm talking with you on the phone. No, I don't want you to put your crying baby on the phone to say hello to Aunty. No, I don't want to be disrupted by your crying baby while I'm listening to the sermon. No, I don't want to sing a lullaby to him/her/it while Desperate Housewives is on. And heck no, I don't want your crying toddler to come and attempt to take the microphone from me while I'm MCing an event. One more crying-baby incident, and someone's baby will be getting kicked out of the window. Yeah, gasp all you want.
I don't have babies - can you tell? - but there's one thing I do know for a fact. Spanking a crying baby will do anything but stop that baby from crying. He/she/it will cry more. He/she/it will wail. That said, when your baby starts crying - say in the middle of a church sermon - the reasonable thing to do will be to stand up and take the crying baby out. If you feel like he/she/it deserves a spanking, then, please, move further away from the entrance/exit to the church and spank away. Do NOT, however, remain seated, turn the baby on his/her/its belly and deliver five consecutive hot smacks to his/her/its bum. This will provoke the baby and endanger your life. Church folks don't play!
Babies have a way of knowing the right time to not cry. And that is exactly when they start crying. One cannot blame them. It's innate to cry. But their parents - especially their mothers - I'm not quite sure how to approach their insensitivity to us civilians. Yes, I called the rest of us civilians. If you're not the mother of the child, you just become casualty, like an innocent pedestrian standing on the corner of the street, waiting for that hand that signals you shouldn't walk to turn to WALK, only for you to be knocked down by a drunk driver. Should you not sit next to a baby, or should you not have come to church? I keep using church because that is where it bites me most.
And my people - God bless my Nigerian people - they are awfully good at spanking crying babies and then ignoring them when they cry. Sometimes, the mothers even smile at their wailing babies and then smile at your stone-hard face, as if to ask, "Aww. Look at him. Isn't he/she/it so adorable? The way he/she/it just wails and disrupts everyone and everything, isn't it simply breathtaking?" Sometimes I swear those babies are possessed because somehow, they know how to cry just when the sermon gets good. Or maybe it's the mothers that are possessed. They know how to not hear their babies crying. It's amazing how deaf these mothers become to their babies' cries.
Don't get me started on ringing cell phones. Let me offer one word of advice. When in a place where your phone is not supposed to ring (Example: church, of course), and it rings, the first thing you should do is stop it from ringing. This can be done by pressing the side button or ignoring the call. Now, pay attention because this next thing you should do is very, very important: you should stop your phone from ringing a second time. This can be interpreted as (a) Put your phone on vibrate or (b) Put your phone on silent or (c) Turn your phone completely off. This may come as a shock to you, but when you ignore the caller the first time, the caller is likely to call again.
Have you ever been in church and witnessed a scene where a woman's phone rings, then she searches her deep tote frantically for the ringing gadget while it belches out a tune like, Lori le (or Mr. Endowed when it's a man's phone ringing)? She finally finds the phone, presses the side (or ignores the call) and throws the phone right back into the belly of her tote. Two minutes later, Lori Le is screaming again, and this woman is searching her tote. Again. You'd think she would have at least put the phone in her tote's side pocket.
And then, of course, the church's projector screens and televisions immediately light up with words like "PLEASE TURN YOUR CELL PHONES OFF," and while the words are still scrolling, three more cell phones start ringing simultaneously. This time, it's three different songs: Kiss Your Hand, I'll Make Love To You, and What You Bitches Want From Me? The Pastor just shakes his head and ask, "God, where have I gone wrong with these people?"
But I did promise that I won't talk about cell phones. This post is about crying babies. And the mothers (parents) who won't shut them the heck up and let me have my solitude. One more disruption, and someone's baby is getting kicked the heck out. You may gasp again.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
You Know That Cute Little Beep?
The one that goes off after my phone has rung and rung and a strange familiar voice has come up and said, "Please leave your message for four-four-three-nine-three-four-nine-three-zero-nine. Record your message after the tone..." A few more words, and then .... beep? Yes, that beep.
Well, here's a funny story about that beep. Apparently, it works. You see, when you call me and that voice picks up - instead of me - and instructs that you leave me a message after the beep, it may surprise you to know that that message actually comes to me. Ah, yes, at my quiet moment, I delight in pinning my earpiece into my innerear and hearing you loud and clear as if you're inside my head. No, really, I do.
But this can only happen when you actually leave me a message. And this brings me to my point. What is it about my dear, lovely Nigerian folks (especially the ones that reside in Nigeria) that make them (you) not want to leave messages? They (you) would really rather call me over. And over. And over. And over. Until I pick up. Or until I flush my phone down the toilet. Or hit it against the wall. Or throw it at the maid. Well, I don't have a maid. But still.
I do not deliberately miss people's calls --- except those people's calls that I do deliberately miss. But when I have a missed call from an unfamiliar number, I want more than anything to know who it is before I call back - no matter the caller's geographical location. So, please, dear caller(s), next time you call me and I don't pick up, leave me a message. Recite a poem, if you wish. Sing if you wanna. But leave a message that lets me know that a human being was on the other end of the line when my phone rang rang, and that said human being intentionally called me.
And on that note, for my darlings who live in Nigeria, *Insert serious Nigerian accent* I dey take God beg una, no dey call me at 10am your time. We are currently six hours apart. That makes it 4am my time. Sure, I'd love to be serenaded with your voice, but I'm not quite a morning person --- especially that type of morning.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: The Brotherhood
Prepare to be entertained, dazzled, and laugh your heart out as Mo gets up close and personal with the brotherhood - four extremely talented and successful ‘brothers’ who have distinguished themselves from the rest of the pack.
From R Kelly, international singing sensation and grammy award winning king of R & B, to Chris Aire, the Emperor of Ice himself and every girl’s best friend, to Wale Agbaje, international star actor, and our very own hilarious and simply amazing Julius Agwu, the Brotherhood promises to be worth your while.
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| December Summaries |
For fun, excitement and high quality entertainment make it a date with the Brotherhood on Moments with Mo.
Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, December 7th 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm. If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, December 8th 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, December 11th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa). Happy viewing
J
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