Sensory Overload
I am a genius! I think this year I am going to be awarded with the MacArthur Genius Award. (look it up- it really exists!) So how many knives and other banned weapons have the police found searching people in subway stations. I am going to go with not too many- as proven by the "serial subway stabber." (my own coinage) Really we all know how I feel about the "random" bag search- so pointless. So here is my new idea. There will be a booth right in front of the turnstiles. Everyone must go through the booth. The booth will be like the screening booth at the airport that puffs air at you and tests for explosive residue. But my booth will be different. It will be testing for Body Odor. If you register above a certain number the booth will have a mechanism that won't allow you to go through the turnstile and will politely and discreetly ask that you take another mode of transportation that day- preferably one with no other people. This idea came to me this morning while I was only breathing through my mouth for 4 stops until I could take in the sweet smell of the steamy, stifling 72nd St. subway stop. I kept looking around to see who the culprit might be but everyone looked pretty clean and well kempt. That is why this booth is such a good idea. Usually when you ride the subway you can tell by sight who the smellies are and avoid sitting there. This booth will weed out the well dressed smellies and make for a more pleasant MTA experience. Ok- now who wants to finance this project?
STOP!! YOU ARE BEING CHARGED WITH OLFACTORY TERRORISM!!!
posted by The Environmentalist @ 10:37 AM
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