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HTTP/2 200 content-type: text/html; charset=UTF-8 expires: Tue, 20 Jan 2026 15:28:33 GMT date: Tue, 20 Jan 2026 15:28:33 GMT cache-control: private, max-age=0 last-modified: Tue, 10 Sep 2024 16:36:14 GMT etag: W/"4eece92bc13fade0333ab2ceeac7f702b2fbbd9ba936a081f0961a89d09348e3" content-encoding: gzip x-content-type-options: nosniff x-xss-protection: 1; mode=block content-length: 24315 server: GSE alt-svc: h3=":443"; ma=2592000,h3-29=":443"; ma=2592000 UMRBlog: November 2007

Friday, November 30, 2007

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

Maybe you have to be involved in law enforcement and defending Civil Rights cases to appreciate this one.

Due credit to Bizarro.com and the Gazette (Eastern Iowa--free registration is worthwhile)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

A NEW TWIST ON THE NURSING SHORTAGE--DISAPPEARING INSTRUCTORS: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

You all know there is an acute shortage around the world of skilled (registered) nurses. Quite properly, there has been a real effort to increase the number of accredited, well staffed nursing schools. Great, as far as it goes.

Now, demographics have started to happen. There is at least a national shortage of nursing INSTRUCTORS, maybe even international. As a consequence, our old and new nursing schools are admitting fewer students. Our graduate and specialized nursing programs are closing or shrinking.

I can think of some possible solutions but this is a true emergency. One day, the hospitalized patient will push that button and a convenience store clerk with purple hair and a tongue stud will decide whether to page the one nurse on call or just sell the croaking patient a lottery ticket.

This is a golden goose thing. If we lose the instructors who make the nurses, well, nurses, we ultimately get more of what we've already got: a dangerous and intractable shortage of key players in the health care system.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

POLL CATS

Keep in mind these guys are competitors

Monday, November 26, 2007

TORT FUND IN LOCAL SCHOOLS "CLEARLY ILLEGAL", HUH?

Click here to see where a school district winning such a lawsuit is giving the Slattery sign-ups and opportunity to save court costs.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

MORE ON THE "GREEN" MOVEMENT

A recent study found the average American golfer walks about 900 miles a year. :c4

Another study found American golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, American golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

(Credit to my old friend, Dr. Snafu)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

THE DOWNSIDE OF A PERP WALK

History provides great object lessons, if we will only listen.

Why was Jack there? Why did he ever leave his club in Illinois to open up a less successful one in Dallas. Jack Ruby as sleeper cell.....doesn't even require a grassy knoll.

Friday, November 23, 2007

RANDOM THOUGHTS

[THIS JUST IN] Ya think Houston Nutt might find another head coaching job? Wonder how proud the Springdale mouthbreathers are they ran him out of Fayetteville now. Keep in mind this is the guy who passed on the LSU job so he could stay with his beloved piggies.

I haven't had much time for SportsTalk in the last several days but I heard that Tommy Toooooooooberittakesavillage got some game films from Marilyn Monroe or something. I thought she was dead. Perhaps somebody can explain it to me.

RazorPiggies have a slim chance to save their season today. They are a decent football team but will be out-athleted at the defensive back and wideout positions. Piggies Defense has been good but on the field too much. The only way I see a Hog victory is if two things happen: First the Hogs would have to get a couple of net takeaways, preferably early and; Second, the offense has to have more sustained drives, rather than the big play points they have been featuring. I don't think this is a "trap" game for LSU. They know the Hogs have two major weapons and that the passing game has gone from grotesque to average in the last few weeks.

New Reason Les Miles will take the Fichigan job: Murders in Baton Rouge this year=44 vice Murders in Ann Arbor last THREE years = 0.

In the past few years, all the major news networks have shown incredible footage of Turkey Fryer Fires. This year, I've seen none. Are people not using as many turkey fryers? Are they using them more safely? Perhaps the Networks have just decided they don't care whether people burn their houses down by overfilling Turkey Fryers. Sure beats me. Haven't looked to see if it's a YouTube category.

Local Richard Armitage relative on TV last night. Quite a resemblance.

First Take on Blue Devils. Their speed is deceptive. They're slower than they look. Spunky and work within the system, though. They could hurt some people late in the season. Oh yeah, this reminds me of the new four class system. Time out to vomit.

ADDENDUM: I hear Tookie got a new phone or somethin' . Anybody heard about it?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

CABLESAT INDUSTRY FURTHER DEMONSTRATES TONE DEAFNESS

This NFL TV dispute is interesting.

It's a given that nobody loves or trusts the Television Signal Transmission Companies.

OTOH, NFL is probably the best business model of all professional team sports and are certainly the most careful in negotiating contracts. Why, then, did NFL Network, hand it's programing off to the rebroadcasters without a tight agreement as to its placement in tiers of services? Uh, could it be that, after last Thanksgiving's fiasco, they were desperate to get more homes in their Neilson/Arbitron and were in too big a rush to do it carefully? Or could it be that they just didn't care and are now retrofitting the agreement in principle so Goodellites don't look like hypocrites but real fans' guys?

There are no heroes here. The NFL nees to be careful. You lay down with swine and you come out smelling like a..........(Bible School quiz here).

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

True Reds will say he sold out for the money. Blues will say they didn't know he had that kind of spunk. (click here).

Kind of puts a cork in the Armitage sole source theory, though.

KoolAid drinkers of both stripes, bring your own cup.

PUT THE OLD GUY OUT TO PASTURE ON THE CHEAP

When it comes to Age Discrimination, even lawyers have rights.

When decompression becomes implosion

Monday, November 19, 2007

TIMID MARKET TIMER

It makes me feel like a real participant in the economy to buy and sell stock. Always get a rush outta buying, particularly, because it is the beginning of a journey. My investment style could be described as "Cowardly, choke-like-a-dog, hedged, market-timed, hold"

I had one zero out on me a few years back. That didn't thrill me to be participating in the U.S. economy. I rode one from $120 down to $36, back to $120--Boy, did I get off that train fast! But, I've had some modest licks. I'm underperforming the monkeys, the darts and buy+holds but I'm running ahead of the Beardstown ladies.

Proud to be an unskilled American investor. I'd probably lose my shirt if I got smarter. What a country!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

THIS JUST IN!: UMRBlog's ENDORSEMENT FOR DEM. NATIONAL CONVENTION BLOG REP.

With the remarkable recent recognition by both parties that the blogosphere is playing an increasing role in politics, DNC is credentialling one Illinois Blog to "cover" the convention.

UMRBlog is out because it doesn't commit journalism.

The Inside Dope is out because interviewing folks would probably blow his cover.

Oracle is out because he has to stay, here, make water, watch tennis and play golf.

After Due Deliberation, Mr. Chairman, The Land of Lincoln, Home of the greatest political debates in the recorded history of the republic and the politically correct geeks who Whacked Chief Illiniwek nominates..........the envelope please......Ta-Da

PRAIRIE STATE BLUE!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

THE NATTERIN ANONS ARE RIGHT: LET'S CALL THE FRONT-RUNNER TO ACCOUNT ON SLIPPERY POSITIONS!

Rudy is against government-sponsored health care programs.........

EXCEPT WHEN HE'S NOT (click here)

Friday, November 16, 2007

NFL: DEFENSIVE UGLY RULE OF THUMB

In examining the history of NFL defensive star linemen and linebackers, I have developed a general rule:

If the merely seasonall fan recognizes a player as really good, that player is already in decline. See, e.g., KGB, Dwight Freeney, Brian Urlacher, Ray Lewis, Mike Curtis. Doesn't mean they're not still good players, but still are in decline.

There are exceptions. Mean Joe Green, Merlin Olsen, Warren Sapp come to mind. But, there's not many.

Theory doesn't work for Defensive Backs.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

THE RABE SCREW

I had always thought the Minnesota Twins kind of a neat ball team. Low Payroll, always some homegrown players, good fans, quirky place to play, Good Kirby, Bad Kirby, The amazing Torii Hunter, the doubly amazing Johan Santana the spunky manager and the tragic Francisco Liriano.

Well, based on how they handled Josh Rabe's roster spot, they're jerks. More, MLB should not permit what they did. They NFL doesn't.

We all know Josh's story. Remarkable Mendon Unity/QU athlete. Developed into a fine Minor Leaguer and got some PT in the bigs the last two years. Truthfully, he was in a tough spot. A 28 year old Right Handed Hitting fourth or fifth Outfielder in the bigs doesn't have a lot of job security. Still, nobody worked harder to prepare for a season than Josh did in '06-07 off season.

In the first week he was called to the big club. He was injured. Throwing shoulder surgery. He was on the disabled list and on the 40 man roster (significant in MLB).

He was released while still rehabbing this Fall. No other employer could injure an employee at work, not pay them for the worker's comp injury and cut them loose without a livelihood. The NFL, no benevolent employer, doesn't allow this. The NBA doesn't allow it. For God's Sake, MLS doesn't allow it.

Sure, Josh became a free agent and can make his own deal ("shoulder surgery" and leverage usually don't do into the same sentence in such negotiations.).

If they guy gets injured on his motorcycle, great, cut him if you want. If he gets hurt playing ball, you own him until he's cleared to play by a neutral physician or until he gets a cashout settlement for the injury.

Baseball, the warm, fuzzy game is more cruel to its injured role players than the Gladiator Game.

I'm sure Bud is going to get right on it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

ALBANY: CAPED CRUSADER SURRENDERS TO WILL OF THE PEOPLE

Please click here for slimy explanation of why an obvious non-starter was finally grasped as a non-starter.

Yeah, I know. All "liberal" bloggers are supposed to make a pilgrimage to Albany to worship at the feet of his Crusaderness, but I'm just not a fan. People who know everything can't learn anything new. That is scary.

This time the politicians learned from the good people of New York State. That's pretty cool. In a week, the Spitzer-worship party line will be "This was just a clever trial balloon." Don't you believe it. There were chips pushed into the middle of the table on this one and the hand didn't play out well.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A NORTHEAST MISSOURI BLOGGER: LOVE HER FOR MIND (AND HER LOW OPINION OF KTVO)

I just wish she'd write more often (click here)

Monday, November 12, 2007

ADD ONE INCOMPLETE PASS TO THE GIPPER'S STATS

South Bend, Indiana--evidently there was one drive in George Gipp's career that did not result in a score (Click Here)

KOSUKE FUKUDOME????

This is not a dirty word game: This is a human being whom the Chicago Cubs are kindly requesting to please come play Right Field for them.

Of course, the Fukuman would like to have $60M for the next four years (He probably wants it in Euros, too.) and nobody owns the Cubs to OK the expenditure. Otherwise, everything is going along swimmingly.

"Shomi" da money

Sunday, November 11, 2007

WAR, PATRIOTISM AND THE "LAST FULL MEASURE" WATERLOO, IOWA

Five Brothers enlisted in the Navy to serve in World War II to with the desire to form an unbeatable team. They perished. In response and in their grief the family responded by continuing to support the war effort. The mother visited more than 240 defense plants to urge workers to produce at the ultimate pace. Their sister enlisted and became a recruiter, actually telling of her siblings sacrifice to successfully challenge young Americans into the war effort.

There are streets and buildings in Waterloo which continue to proudly bear the name "5 Sullivan Brothers."

On this Veterans' Day, take a look at President Roosevelt's letter and remember when the future of the world really did hang in the balance and Americans virtually all pulled in the same direction.

Thank You, brother and sister vets. May this country bless you as you blessed it with your courage, skill and loyalty.

"Dear Mrs. Sullivan:

"The knowledge that your five gallant sons are missing in action, against the enemy, inspired me to write you this personal message. I realize full well there is little I can say to assuage your grief.

"As the Commander in Chief of the Army and the Navy, I want you to know that the entire nation shares your sorrow. I offer you the condolence and gratitude of our country. We, who remain to carry on the fight, must maintain the spirit in the knowledge that such sacrifice is not in vain. The Navy Department has in-
formed me of the expressed desire of your sons; George Thomas, Francis Henry, Joseph Eugene, Madison Abel, and Albert Leo, to serve on the same ship. I am sure, that we all take pride in the knowledge that they fought side by side. As one of your sons wrote, `We will make a team together that can't be beat.' It is
this spirit which in the end must triumph.

"Last March, you, Mrs. Sullivan, were designated to sponsor a ship of the Navy in recognition of your patriotism and that of your sons. I am to understand that you are, now, even more determined to carry on as sponsorer. This evidence of unselfish-
ness and courage serves as a real inspiration for me, as I am sure it will for all Americans. Such acts of fate and fortitude in the face of tragedy convince me of the indomitable spirit and will of our people.

"I send you my deepest sympathy in your hour of trial and pray that in Almighty God you will find a comfort and help that only He can bring.

Very sincerely yours,

"/s/ Franklin D. Roosevelt"

LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY

Another time

Saturday, November 10, 2007

NOTE TO GAY-TORS

The people of Illinois thank you for the nice football coach.

Note to BCS Committee. Here's a stick. Stir this mess up.

ELLIOT IN ALBANY: OH, ON THE ILLEGAL DRIVER'S LICENSE THING........OR, NOT

Elliot, you devil, you. Ya been reading the Basin on the sly, haven't ya?

Here is the strategic redeployment (Click)

Gives a whole new meaning to "Pimping a Ride."

Friday, November 09, 2007

OBSERVATION: TIME TO BUY SOMETHING

The Basin doesn't do stock tips: outside my license and no insurance for it. Still, I have the sense that this is a great time to get some more or less idle money into the stock market. I gagged on the opportunity today but my order is in and my purchase will be made in the mysterious Monday Night Computer Run (you know the one--where the insiders get a peek into the clue box.)

Get out there and buy stock. You might make some money and Uncle Sam needs you!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

PLACE THESE THINGS IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE

OJ has prelim. hearing

A Bounty Hunter is diversity-insensitive

Dollar Drops Further in relation to other currencies

Gardner Webb beats Kentucky

Congress overrides Bush veto on rebuilding/funding water projects

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

WRITERS' STRIKE: TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

I like the honesty of the writers' strike. There's no talk of opposing oppression or improving work conditions.

They just keep their focus. This is about MONEY

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

QUINCY AND TRI-STATE MEDIA: DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT

I have heard this three times on three different Local TV Stations and one Chicago Station.

"The police have brought in a Canine Dog to assist in the search.." (I suppose they could be saying "K-9", not that it would be an improvement).

I guess this is done to carefully exclude Oscar Mayer products.

Next, we will probably refer to cruisers as "Automotive Automobiles" and attire as "Uniform Uniforms...."

Monday, November 05, 2007

OL' MUSHARAFF SURE KNOWS HOW TO SNUFF OUT FREEDOMS

"President" Musharaff of Pakistan dislikes democracy. He's become our ally because he sort of helped us when we went into Afghanistan to (Pick One): a) overthrow the Taliban b) permit women to wear jeans or c) to destroy some Al Quaeda camps.

To procure his buddyship we piped over a boatload of money (see, CIA, non-itemized budget) and talked him up. Quicker than you can say "Shah of Iran" he basically became a military dictator.

But you knew all that.

Now he's shut down the democratic institutions and even put some of his enemies on house arrest.

This, however, is not your garden variety, mouthbreathing, junta thug. This is a smart guy. He really wants to wipe out individual liberty and political discourse. He has cleverly figured out that the countries which have the fewest lawyers per square mile have the fewest freedoms. Thus, he has not really horsed around too much with religious leaders or even media. He has gone after the defenders of liberty and freedom, the lawyers and the judges. Shakespeare had this figured out a long time ago and Ol' Mooshy was smart enough to read and learn. If you want an oppressive society where people do as they're told, first "Kill all the Lawyers".

He's a smart guy but he better also be a careful one. Lawyers, as a group, are resourceful and they will find ways to combat this, ways Mooshy won't anticipate.

Oh, yeah. This just in: Mooshy's version of Gonzo says there will be elections in January. Sure there will, Bunky.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

FAYETTEVILLE: MUSINGS ON DMAC

Had some business yesterday and I really didn't expect to see the Piggies' game. Thankfully, we wrapped it up a little sooner than expected. Like everyone else tuned in, I watched with jaw ajar while the redoubtable DMAC ran for over three hundred yards and passed for a TD.

I found myself wondering if Marcus DuPree was watching. Marcus, this is what you could have been. Difference is this kid has his head on straight.

Navy beats The Genius and a good guy gets a leg up on the Heismann. Nice day, even though I missed most of it.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

DEAR DIRTBAG: YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME!

DEAR FRIEND,

I KNOW THAT THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE. I AM THE BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER IN BANK OF AFRICA (BOA), OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO. I HOPED THAT YOU WILL NOT EXPOSE OR BETRAY THIS TRUST AND CONFIDENT THAT I AM ABOUT TO REPOSE ON YOU FOR THE MUTUAL BENEFIT OF OUR FAMILIES.
https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
I NEED YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF (USD$25) MILLION TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN 10 TO 14 BANKING DAYS. THIS MONEY HAS BEEN DORMANT FOR YEARS IN OUR BANK WITHOUT CLAIM. I WANT THE BANK TO RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEAREST PERSON TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER (THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT) DIED ALONG WITH HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN IN AN AIR CRASH SINCE JULY, 2000.
I DON'T WANT THE MONEY TO GO INTO OUR BANK TREASURER ACCOUNT AS AN ABANDONED FUND. SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT THE BANK CAN RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER. PLEASE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL AS A TOP SECRET AND DELETE IT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.
UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL GIVE YOU FULL DETAILS ON HOW THE BUSINESS WILL BE EXECUTED AND ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL HAVE 30% OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED SUM IF YOU AGREE TO HANDLE THIS BUSINESS WITH ME? AND 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT WARRANT ON THE PROCESS BEFORE THE FUND GET INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SUCH AS TELEPHONE CALLS BILLS (ETC).

BEST REGARD.
MR YUSUF MUSA.

Footnote: This slimedoggy is not even clever enough to insert a last name the same as the holder of this email. That would have been kinda funny "Mr. Basin and his next of kin were horribly killed in an air crash."

Joe, I wish you a painful but non-fatal permanent malady, scumsucker.

Labels: pussbucket

Friday, November 02, 2007

STATE'S ATTORNEYS, SHOOTING ROUND TABLES AND PUBLIC INTEGRITY: SHANE, COME BACK!

As important a story as I've seen in the Trib this year

This would be a giant step backwards. Don't do it, Dick.

If one of the candidates for the job promises this, friends in Cook County, vote against him or her, irrespective of party.

INDUSTRIAL DEVELOPMENT'S SECRET WEAPON FOR THE BASIN: WATER

While Tennessee, Alabama and Georgia fight over a pond full of water, not enough to satisfy any one of them, manufacturers still look to locate in the South.

Memo to GREDF: Tell everybody we have water out the Wazoo. Sometimes it even leaves its levees but we've got gobs of it. Need water for your plant, office complex or warehouse? Bring it to the Basin!

Not only that, we have a bunch of diligent, well hydrated folks who can set an alarm clock and show up for work just dyin' to be your employee.

Not enough water in your exotic location? Come to the Basin and you'll say "H, 2, Oh-Boy!"

(Oh, no, Tookie. This is the opposite of Waterboarding. Pay attention)

Thursday, November 01, 2007

OUR DEAR FRIENDS THE YEMENIS

The wonderful country of Yemen insisted on being primary prosecutor in the Cole bombing. Despite incredibly transparent Yemeni foot-dragging, our FBI was able to give them a drop-dead case on the mastermind.

Once again, despite the tepid efforts of the Yemeni officials, the puke was convicted. Our dear Yemeni brothers let the slimeball "escape".

For his next trick, the creep turned himself in (FBI hot on his trail anyhow) and pledged allegiance to the current Yemeni leader. By and by, the let him out of prison. No pardon, no commutation. They just let him out.

While all this was going on, we gave our dear, Yemeni friends $20.5B is "friendship" aid.

With allies like these guys and the Pakkies, we really don't need "Axis of Evil" enemies.

17 dead sailors and this Puke sits on his deck with his bong and laughs at the paltry penalty he paid for his act. Ya think he might be emboldened to kill again.

This is not a political comment. I'm not blaming any administration. This is an American comment.

Pukebuckets!!!!!

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