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UmQusai's Thoughts ..
Thoughts from here and there .. things that goes in this crazy mind of mine!

Name::Arabian Princess
From::Muscat, Oman
تقطر النفس كلمات ، قد تكون مجرد هذيان فتاة تعشق الحزن، فتاة بقدر ما تحلم بقدر ما تبكي ، هذا الهذيان يولد ما يسميه الناس خواطر وما تسميها هي تنهدات
View my complete profile
قصص قصيرة
خواطر فتاة تعشق الحزن
وأنا لي رأي
متفرقات
Gulf Book Club
وداعاً
Bahiya, May Allah grant you highest level of Heave...
الدفاتر
خواطر أم
Welcome to Motherhood!
and the waiting starts ...
معرض مسقط للكتاب
In Al Mar'a
Nine Months, and still confused!!
ساحر عشق جنية
وداعاً
Um Azzan or Um Qusai is still our Arabian Princess =D
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Reviews of Omani Blogs
Posted by Arabian Princess ::
12:41 AM ::
8 comments
---------------oOo---------------
You are gone suddenly, without prior notice. Its very shocking to be awaken middle of the night with the news of loosing someone you know .. and not anyone .. its Bahiya .. the girl full of life.
I might not be very close to you, but I was really touched by you. At one point by your tease (Mirc incident) and mostly by your open heart (in sabla)*?
You will be truly missed, and I pray to Alllah to grant you his mercy and place you in the highest level of heaven. Ameen.
** To those who were part of sable, she was known as "Homeless" there.
Posted by Arabian Princess ::
5:37 PM ::
8 comments
---------------oOo---------------
Posted by Arabian Princess ::
1:03 AM ::
4 comments
---------------oOo---------------

Posted by Arabian Princess ::
11:52 AM ::
12 comments
---------------oOo---------------
About a month back (34 days precisely), I entered a new stage in my life .. a new experience .. no one could prepare you to what to expect even the experts in this field .. because every experience is unique!
Motherhood:
On 2nd of July, I received Allah's gift .. after a cesarean. I would lie to you if I said that I felt that I am a mom instantly. In fact, even after a month, there are times when I am the old me, wanting to spend few hours for me doing what I like and not caring about any one around. Except, I am always reminded by the cries of Baby Azzan.
I think motherhood comes gradually. For example, now when I am having my lunch and Azzan is sleeping in the room .. I keep checking on him all the time .. thinking he might be fussing over a dirty diaper or he might want his lunch too! I think it will take time until I am 100% a mother :p
Azzan, the name:
People keep asking, why did I choose the name. Well actually lots of names were suggested by me and my husband, some I liked and some he liked .. Azzan was one of the few names that we both liked. I liked its sound, and the meaning comes from dignity if I can interpret it right "3izza-3az al shay2 - fahwa 3azzan".
It was also the name of a very famous Omani Imam (Azzan bin Qais). he was known by his justice. Inshallah Azzan takes some of his characters !!
Um Qusai, the Blog:
After having Azzan, lots of people started asking, why didn’t I call him Qusai. Well it was a name I liked and I was hoping to call him Qusai, but I guess it wasn’t written and he was destined to be called Azzan.
Now, I started thinking .. should I change the blog's name to Azzan's name. Azzan's mom's part, saying yes I should since he is my first son. But, the old me .. dont want to change it. Qusai has been there with me for so long .. he was my imaginary son. I will be so cruel if I just changed it because I had the real one. Till now, I didnt take a decision .. so the blog will remain Umqusai's thoughts until further notice :)
Here are few thoughts that came into mind and wanted to share it with you. I miss blogging and interacting with my fellow bloggers, but its not easy especially when I am still at my parents house (I have my grandma asking me to pick up the crying baby and leave the laptop aside while I am tempted to ignore the cries :p ). However, I am here to read your comments and reply to them .. so do comment :)
Posted by Arabian Princess ::
5:33 PM ::
14 comments
---------------oOo---------------
I've finally reached my 9th month. Yesssssssssss! I made it this far .. and now the wait starts for the big day !
I have a mixture of suspense, fear and excitment all inside me .. I want to be done and see the little kicker .. but god whenever I hear of the process of him coming out .. I want him to just stay inside and relax!!
Speaking of him, somehow I cant get the idea that I am definatly having a boy out of my head .. we didnt want to know, but something inside assurs me its a boy even though everyone looking at my tummy, or my face tells me its a girl. If it turned out to be a girl, then my dear sweeet girl I am so sorry .. I didnt mean to feel different than you are and I would love you so so so very much too :)
A7madinooo has been asking me to write about the feeling of the father .. and I apologise for not doing so .. I dont know why writing was the last thing in mind since I got pregnant .. maybe because its easier for me to write about something sad than writing about something happy. I will compensate that a7madinoo by writing about how he felt after he held the baby in his hands. I am expecting him to speak more about that than how is experssing his happeniess now. Now, all what he keeps saying is: when is this boy coming out, I want him to take some of the burdens off me :p
Thanks all who kept visiting this blog even when it was quite and empty .. you are the ones who I write this blog for .. coz at least you care to read even nonesense from a pregnant lady :p
Any way, just thought of updating since I know I won't be updating for long .. or maybe not? maybe I will come running to this place when I am tired for the young singer :)
Posted by Arabian Princess ::
2:11 PM ::
20 comments
---------------oOo---------------

Posted by Arabian Princess ::
1:10 PM ::
14 comments
---------------oOo---------------
UmQusai's Thoughts ..
UmQusai's Thoughts ..
Thoughts from here and there .. things that goes in this crazy mind of mine!
About Me

Name::Arabian Princess
From::Muscat, Oman
تقطر النفس كلمات ، قد تكون مجرد هذيان فتاة تعشق الحزن، فتاة بقدر ما تحلم بقدر ما تبكي ، هذا الهذيان يولد ما يسميه الناس خواطر وما تسميها هي تنهدات
View my complete profile
Labels
قصص قصيرة
خواطر فتاة تعشق الحزن
وأنا لي رأي
متفرقات
My Blogs
قصص قصيرةGulf Book Club
Recent Posts
وداعاً
Bahiya, May Allah grant you highest level of Heave...
الدفاتر
خواطر أم
Welcome to Motherhood!
and the waiting starts ...
معرض مسقط للكتاب
In Al Mar'a
Nine Months, and still confused!!
ساحر عشق جنية
Recent Comments
وداعاً
Um Azzan or Um Qusai is still our Arabian Princess =D
Looking forward to read your new blogs. It's been forever gurl! =D
hi the blog is cool, salam i am toufik from london england.
hope you are well.
ام عزان و النعم
:) مبروك النقلة
بالتوفيق توأمتي أم عزان :)
خطوة صعبة ولكنها الأفضل إن شاء الله
أم ابراهيم
so Khalas.... no more blogging..... you forgot your fans...
la, I am around in Um3azzan.wordpress.com now :p
شركة داما السعودية
تقدم خدمات تصميم وتطوير المواقع لدي الشركات السعودية باستخدام تكنولوجيا التسويق الالكتروني الحديث
دور شركة داما في تصميم موقعك:
عمل بحث لمنافسيك لعمل موقع جيد
تنفيذ نموذج تجريبي لموقعك
حجز اسم الموقع الخاص بيك
تصميم موقع حسب اختيارك
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Bahiya, May Allah grant you highest level of Heaven .. Ameen
الله يرحمها برحمته يارب
Hello, I like this blog.
Sorry not write more, but my English is not good.
A hug from Portugal
مرحبا ، انا احب بلوق.
فقط أكتب ما يمكن ان يترجم.
أ الحضنه من البرتغال
May Allah accept all her good deeds and Forgive her..
Allah yer7amha
I don't know her
But i was touched by your message
May Allah grant her Gennah and cover her with his mercy!
Allah yerhamha.
May she rest in peace :(
allah accept her.
hi umqusai/umazzan!
i am dr. samskrati. i am doing a study on omani blogs. i would to have your opinions too. if u can email me at samskrati@hotmail.com, i could fwd the questionnaire to you. hoping to hear from u soon.
thanks in advance.
rgds
samskrati
الدفاتر
Woops!
I put a comment in the previous post...
Anyway, I'm NOT complaining about Arabic only--I know you're busy!
I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and Azzan.
Give him a kiss for me! :)
Thanks Jeff :)
I saw your comment and I wanted to reply but whenever I am at home Azzan keeps me occupied .. right now he is sleeping so I managed to steal some internet time.
The post is about a thought .. something that kept bugging me until I wrote it .. about how I have many notebooks and each notebook have a life time with me .. then it comes to an end ..
nothing interesting, I didn't like it after I wrote it .. it sounded better in my head loool
loool..um Azzan..
in Arabic it sounds better than what you wrote here in English!
Don't worry whatever you write sounds great to the ones who don't write asslan!! ;)
miss u & Azzan
وكم من دفاتر كانت مفتوحة وطويت بأفراحها وأتراحها ..
اللهم كما طوينا صحائفنا في الدنيا على ما فيها من التقصير، اطو عنا صحائف الذنوب يوم القيامة
خواطر أم
عذرا، غبت عن مدونتك طويلا.
حفظه الله وجعله من الذرية والصالحة وأنبته نباتا حسنا إن شاء الله :)
مسموحة أختي قطوية .. أمين يا رب
Well, it's wonderful to see the picture and the squiggly Arab letters and to see that you are okay, even if I don't know what the news is! :p
lool no news Jeff .. its something simmiler to the post I wrote earlier .. one thought is about motherhood and how I feel it .. the other thought is poundering about if I will be able to raise him to be a pious man .. and I am praying that I will :)
"raise him to be a pious man"
Nice!
One thing I love about hanging around with Omanis is that you don't have to feel self-conscious about God.
No matter how religious you are in the West, it's made to feel like something "weird". Except maybe in America's 'Deep South', in the small towns.
God bless Azzan! :) (And his Mommy.)
يا الله ع الكلام!!!
صيحتيني حبوبه
:")
والله شعور فوق الوصف
ربي يحفظة لكم ويكون لكم الابن البار
وفخر وعزة لك ولوطنه وأمته
آآآآآمين
قبلاتي لكما
بعدني أطالبك بصور خااااااااااااااااصة حالي
وعدتيني
وما أتنازل
:)
متي عزان يكبر وشوف الكلام الحلو اللي كتبته امه عنه :-)
كلمات جدا مؤثره ورائعه
الله يخليه
الله يخليكم لبعض يا رب..
وإن شاء الله يطلع مطيع لأوامر ربه وبار بوالديه و ما "يربشك" ولا يتعبك ولا يشوف عقابك :)
اللهم سهل تربيتهم يا رب
أم ابراهيم
يتربى في عزكم وربي يصلحه ويحفظه لكم
I was away for a while and then my computer broke.
But I was just checking on you and Azzan.
How is the cute li'l guy?
الفيلسوف
أمين
Jeff, lil Azzan is fine :) yah I realised you were away from sabla too .. I myself wasnt avaliable .. with ramdhan and Azzan I have so little time online.
Thanks for passing by :)
Still remembering you and Azzan...
Welcome to Motherhood!
Alf alf alf alf Mabrook on the newborn! :-)
THANK YOU! (F)
Not a 100% mother?! After nine months and birth you've earned it!
How have your experiences with diapers been so far? =P
I always felt you had this warm motherish personality, I believe many people would agree. Lucky Azzan.
Don't want to be annoying, but you forgot to mention how Bu Azzan feels about being a father! =D
Mabrooooooooooooooook Dear
I was waiting for something
You know!!!
but it is okay
Take your time
Enjoy your life with this new era!!
Miss you alot
Kiss Azzan for me :*
الحمدلله على السلامة يا اميرتنا العربية
يا ام عزان .. جذي ينكتب الاسم لو ماكنت غلطانة !!
:)
الله يخلي لكم هالولد و تجوفونه شي عود جذي تفتخرون فيه , و قبل هذا كله يكون مدون محترف >>> تدوين , هذا وقته !! صج يعني كلن في قلبه شقى اللي له :p
تمنياتي لج ان تقومين بالسلامة و تمتلكين حكمة جبارة في ادارة الوقت , عشان يصير عندج وقت حق دور الام و دور المدونة و دور المرأة العاملة و دور الزوجة و دور الابنة و دور الصديقة و دور القريبة ... الخ من ادوار كثيرة :D
الحمد لله علي سلامتكم اثنينكم
اعتقد صعب لو احد يسألج عن دور الام وتقولين نعم احسه فيه
سألت السؤال لكثير من صديقاتي وكانوا دايم يحتارون في الاجابه
امي كانت تقول للامهات الجدد بشأن هذا الشي انتظري بس يمرض او يصيده مكروه لا قدر الله وبتحسين بمعني الامومه
اعتقد عزان راح يزعل لما يكبر ويشوف اسم امه بالدونه ام قصي
:-)
اقترح ابقاء الاميره العربيه كأسم للمدونه واسم لصاحبتها
Amjad, Thanks :)
Um Khalid, I dont mind dipers .. I mind changing him .. he is so delicate for me .. I am scared I will dislocate his arms or legs :p
I am praying he will be a lucky kid .. so far I dont feel he is :p
Bu Azzan is excited .. but since he doesnt live with him yet I dont feel its fair to judge .. he keep blaming me if he sees something wrong with his son .. he claims I am not taking care of him well awain :p
(Btw, I wrote an arabic post about motherhood and wanted to dedicate it to you, but this laptop doesnt have arabic in it ..will post it some other time)
Samaaaa,
wallah I keep scraching my head for what I've promised you with .. but I cant remmber .. I have a feeling it a pic right??
Wara8:
(sorry this laptop cant write arabic)
Yah I really need time managment. So far, my schedual depends on him .. once he cries I have to leave everything aside and listen to him .. but yallah will try to be manage my time better esp. when i am back home.
Layal,
Everyone says that .. I think the feeling comes slowly especially when there is interaction between me and him.
Good suggestion, will try but it will be hard to say goodbye to qusai :p
I am so glad that you made it through after all that time hoping.
I thought the comments about motherhood coming slowly and being learned was very astute. But you have a natural kind of nurturing quality, so I'm sure you'll get more and more comfortable with it.
They are demanding creatures, those babies, aren't they? :p
Salaaaam Arabian princess,
Congratulations again..
About motherhood well you'll not feel it instantly but it'll be coming slowly.. and once you go back to work you'll know how it feels worrying about him and call every hour to ask whether he had his milk or changed his diapers..etc.
It'll come!
I like the name (AZZAN) aham shai that both of like it :)
well about the blog's name.. mmmm i knoooow how hard it is to leave your imaginary son's name and use your real son.. like me I felt it hard at first till I got used to my real son's name.. so you can change it later on..when Azzan's love yegha6i 3ala Qusai!
Um Ibrahim ;)
Just checking back to see how you guys are getting along...but you're busy, I guess! :p
A thousand congratulations on this wonderful news.
May God protect and bless him, ameen.
xx
Jeff,
They are demanding :p .. but I guess the fact that they need you makes you love them even more :)
I am busy, but I am trying to use the time when he is sleeping so I could enjoy my time :)
Um Ibrahim,
Ya halla wu ghala in my blog :)
Like you said, aham shay we both like it and people are getting used to it more now.
and I guess by time I will get more attached to Azzan and feel comfortable about changing the blog's name.
Ruhbab,
Thanks dear :)
Ameeeen
I dont know why but i have goose bumps reading this entry....maybe cuz after a long wait Allah has granted you his blessing.
Allah yi7fath Azzan we yij3lu min il thurya il salee7a.
Um Ethaar n Renaad :)
Congratulations. Tell me what resolutions you made as a new mother. Any plans for school, college?
Alf mabrook.
Nash
and the waiting starts ...
تقومين بالسلامه ان شاء الله
اهم شي صحتج وصحته/ها :-)
اممم
i guess it is better to have ur e-mail
ومتي التاريخ الموعود???
dizzy_knight at hot
They say women become mothers the moment they are pregnant, however, men only become fathers the moment their child is born. Safe and happy delivery :-)
El7amd le Allah that's you are almost there.. I hope things go smooth. Try to read qul howa allah a7ad especially during the delivery .. it helps.
I'm a father and believe me, a baby girl is the best to be the first.. but all what comes is absolutely accepted and great.
Good luck.
Layal,
sure, my e-mail is arbprnces[at]hotmail
I am inshallah due on 26th of June .. but I am hoping before that :p
Kay,
I totally agree with that saying .. its different for a mother when she feels the baby kicks .. the father have to hear it from her.
Thanks dear :)
Anynomous,
Inshallah, I am asking my mom to be there and remind me of all the Dua and prayers to say during deleivery.
Exactly, whatever comes from Allah is great.
Inshalla bil salamah 7beebti
Waiting to hear the good news :)
I'm excited too and so happy for you
We were absolutely sure that Billy was a girl...but no!
I still remember how shocked we were when he came out...
"It's a BOY!"
Hope everything goes perfectly...it did with my sister yesterday.
So I hope everything is still going well and all is ready...how is the baby's room coming along? What color are the walls?
That 'ninth month' reminded me of some poetry:
OUT of the cradle endlessly rocking,
Out of the mocking-bird’s throat, the musical shuttle,
Out of the Ninth-month midnight...
etc.
Hope you've gotten yourself a good cradle! :p
Wardah .. thanks dear .. keep your phone on emergency mode .. any time you could hear the good news :)
Jeff,
lool I know, this is why I insisted to keep the colors neutral .. I dont want to be shocked !
Well the baby will be staying in my room for the first 6-12 months .. the bed is ready, and I hope he would be happy with it :)
Neutral colors? They don't take sides in the Battle of the Sexes? ;)
When I was a boy I painted my room dark purple.... Why my mother let me do that I don't know. But it was fun! :p
Bel salamaah inshallah :D
I'm really happy for you :)
reading this blog made me feel soo excited and as if I'm becoming a mum soon xD!!
26th June is a perfect birthday :D.. Lucky baby, s/he'll celebrate his/her birthday away from school stress :D
I read you were worried about the baby all week and then you heard his heartbeat...
What's up?
Salma,
Thanks for passing by :) and any date is a good date now .. I am already tired of waiting I stopped choosing dates :p
Jeff,
No everything is alright .. its just that the appointment at the hosp. is every week now .. so I wait to hear the hearbeat at the next appointment.
All the best, InShaAllah
مبارك يا أختي الغالية
مبارك عليك المولود
جعله الله الابن البار و فخر وذخر لوالديه
أنتظر منك تحقيق الوعد اللي وعدتيه
لا تكوني نسيتي
:)
قبلاتي لـــ عزان
اقدر اقول لج الحين الحمد لله علي السلامه ؟؟؟
:-)
So it is a boy and named Azzan… a beautiful name!
May the Almighty (SWT) makes him of the pious and may he make out of him a joy in his childhood and a support in his adulthood.
I know he will be family-oriented but moody!
Pygmalion
Tell us how it was to first see your son! Tell us! Tell us!
=D
Al 7amdlellah 3ala salaamtch
Ok finally I managed to escape from the very demanding baby, Azzan
Thanks all for congratulating me .. I really appreciate it .. I was very happy to know that a thread was opened the same day I deleiverd .. thanks again all
Azzan is a such a good boy, alhamdulilah .. except when he needs to have his meals .. which stresses another demand on me .. I need to restrict my self on certain foods (yes chatty, gola wu 3asal is one of them .. I bored of it already!!).
I am already realising that this stage in my life is not going to be an easy one .. but inshallah I will try my best to be a good mother.
Thanks again and Ah I cant wait to be ONILNE again .. and once I am .. I will sure post some pictures here and I will also post about my feelings after being a mom (dedicated to um khalid)
Great site,this information really helped me , I really appreciate it.Thanks a lot for a bunch of good tips. I look forward to reading more on the topic in the future. Keep up the good work! This blog is going to be great resource. Love reading it.
nice tip
معرض مسقط للكتاب
Sunday, March 9:
Nice to see you posted! Next Sunday I'll look in to see if you've had a chance to put up the English yet! :)
as salam alaikum umm qusai.
Mabrook for ur pregnancy. May Allah bless u both ameen.
I was searching here in blogger for an expat wifes community for women who are married to omani men..maybe u would know of anything?
would be grt to hear from u.
hiyyak Allah.
mariam zawja ahmed
March 24, Easter Monday:
Hey! You seem to be an infrequent visitor here these days...getting busy and preoccupied, I guess! :)
March 25, Easter Tuesday:
"I promise I will come with an english post soon :) "
Uh-huh... :p
You doing okay? You're worrying me a bit.
March 25, Easter Wednesday:
This is Billy's spring break and he is going away to see his Nana in Memphis for a few days...
The house will be lonely without him!
March 26, Easter Thursday:
Hmm. I'm running out of things to say about this post.
I could ask, "What was the book exhibition?"
How's that? :)
March 27, Easter Friday:
I guess I'll have to ask another question:
WHERE was the book exhibition?
This comment has been removed by the author.
سعيده جدا جدا بمروري في مدونتك الجميله
واطلاعي على صورك
تمنياتي لقصي وام قصي
بتمام الصحة
:))
salamu 3alaycom
انشري مدونتك
في مدونة /مدونتي
https://mdwntey.wordpress.com
حياك الله
Just missed the blog, so I thought I'd come by and leave a message, Arby! :)
للأسف زيارتي جاءت متأخرة لمدونتك
اسامي الكتب توحي بمحتوى جد مفيد، إن شاء الله بقدوم المعرض القادم سأطلع عليها
Great site,this information really helped me , I really appreciate it.Thanks a lot for a bunch of good tips. I look forward to reading more on the topic in the future. Keep up the good work! This blog is going to be great resource. Love reading it.
nice tip
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Thursday, January 15, 2009
وداعاًارتبط إسمي بك لسنوات عدة .. كنت فيها خير الإبن .. إبن من مخبيلتي .. إبن إخترت كيف تكون .. ولكن الساعة حانت لأودعك .. لأسلم نفسي إلى القدر .. إلى أرض الواقع .. حان الوقت ليرتبط إسمي بولدي العزيز ... عزان ..ـ
شكراً و الشكر موصول لكل من قرأني كأم قصي .. وأتمنى أن تستمروا في قراءة ما أكتب ك أم عزان
شكراً و الشكر موصول لكل من قرأني كأم قصي .. وأتمنى أن تستمروا في قراءة ما أكتب ك أم عزان
Its time to say goodbye to Um Qusai and start a new journey with my real son .. Azzan .. and here I start a new blog called Um 3azzan
Friday, October 10, 2008
Bahiya, May Allah grant you highest level of Heaven .. AmeenYou are gone suddenly, without prior notice. Its very shocking to be awaken middle of the night with the news of loosing someone you know .. and not anyone .. its Bahiya .. the girl full of life.
I might not be very close to you, but I was really touched by you. At one point by your tease (Mirc incident) and mostly by your open heart (in sabla)*?
You will be truly missed, and I pray to Alllah to grant you his mercy and place you in the highest level of heaven. Ameen.
** To those who were part of sable, she was known as "Homeless" there.
Labels: متفرقات
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
الدفاترخاطرة تجول في بالي منذ أيام، أردت أن أوقفها فكتبتها!
النهاية
كتبتها وأغلقت الدفتر ، وبكل حرص وضعته مع إخوانه ليعَلِم ذلك إغلاق دفتر أخر.
النهاية
كتبتها وأغلقت الدفتر ، وبكل حرص وضعته مع إخوانه ليعَلِم ذلك إغلاق دفتر أخر.
هذه الدفاتر في حياتي هي محطات أقف عند كل كنها لأيام/شهور/سنوات ، كل ذلك يعتمد على الدفتر وكمية عطائه، ولكن مهما طالت المدة، ومهما حظيت بالدفتر كأنيس، فإنه سيتوقف عن العطاء ، وسيأتي اليوم الذي يقول لي أنه إكتفى من صحبتي وأن الوقت حان لأركنه مع أصحابه. أركنه وقلبي يتألم ، فها أنا لم أفلح في إبقاء دفتر أخر معي، يشعرني ذلك أن اخطأ حتما خطأي ، ولكني أهون على نفسي بقول أن كل شيء مصيره إلى كلمة واحدة وهي:ـ
النهاية!ـ
النهاية!ـ
Labels: خواطر فتاة تعشق الحزن
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
خواطر أمخواطر مرت ببالي وأنا أحدق في المهد الصغير وظلمة الليل تلف المكان، قد تكون مجرد هلوسات بسبب فقدي للنوم (الذي أعزه كثيراً!) أو قد تكون نتاج إكتئاب يدعي الأطباء أنه يصيب الأمهات الجدد .. مهما كان .. تبقى مشاعر مرت بخلجات نفسي وأحببت أن أخطها بالقلم (أو بالكيبورد بالأصح!) :ـ
ولدي عزّان:
التاريخ: 17/7/2008
سُإلت عم شعرت به لحظة لقائك ، أخذت أفكر فقد تخذلني الكلمة ويرجف القلم وأنا أكتب ، فهذه مشاعر عظيمة التي يجب أن أكتب عنها!ـ .. سأصدقك القول وأعترف بأن مشاعر الأمومة الجياشة لم تعتريني أول ما رأيتك، لم أشعر بتلك الأمومة الفورية التي أسمع عنها في الروايات والأفلام، أحببتك كحبي لإبن جارتي بسبب رقة أناملك ولمعان عيناك!ـ
لكني أنظر إليك اليوم، بعد إسبوعين من ولادتك .. شعوري مختلف وأنا أنظر إليك، عيناك التي تبدو وكأنها تحدق في و تكلمني تغمر قلبي بعطف لا حدود له، بكائك لألم في معدتك يطعنني ألماً، وحركات فمك التي تطلب فيها غذائك تشعرني بالمسئولية، كل هذا يجعلني أتسائل ، هل الأمومة غريزة تلقائية تأتي مع آلام المخاض ، أم أن تعلقي بك الآن وشعوري بالمسئولية تجاهك هو ما يبرز هذه العاطفة؟
سؤال لا أعتقد أن أحداًيمكنه الإجابة عليه .. ولكن النتيجة هي أن هذا الشعور الذي يغمرني الآن تجاهك يجعلني أدرك أن حب الأم لولدها حب لا حدود له .. فديتك يا أمي الغالية.ـ
التاريخ: 31/7/2008
كلما تأملت هاتان الجوهرتان، أشعر أن سعادتي هي في النظر إليهما، وتنزع مني عيناك إبتسامة مهما كانت حالتي من التعب والإرهاق، لكني سرعان ما أتذكر أن أمامي سنوات طوال من السهر والألم، سأغضب فيها منك، ستعذبني فيها ب "ربشتك"، وستجبرني أحيانا على معاقبتك أشد العقاب، ولكن .. ستبقى هذه العينان نقطة ضعفي ، وستنسيني بنظرة منهن أي ألم وعذاب تسببت به.
يا رب.. سهل علي تربيته وأعني عليها .. وأجعله اللهم من عبادك الصالحين!ـ
أمين
ولدي عزّان:
التاريخ: 17/7/2008
سُإلت عم شعرت به لحظة لقائك ، أخذت أفكر فقد تخذلني الكلمة ويرجف القلم وأنا أكتب ، فهذه مشاعر عظيمة التي يجب أن أكتب عنها!ـ .. سأصدقك القول وأعترف بأن مشاعر الأمومة الجياشة لم تعتريني أول ما رأيتك، لم أشعر بتلك الأمومة الفورية التي أسمع عنها في الروايات والأفلام، أحببتك كحبي لإبن جارتي بسبب رقة أناملك ولمعان عيناك!ـ
لكني أنظر إليك اليوم، بعد إسبوعين من ولادتك .. شعوري مختلف وأنا أنظر إليك، عيناك التي تبدو وكأنها تحدق في و تكلمني تغمر قلبي بعطف لا حدود له، بكائك لألم في معدتك يطعنني ألماً، وحركات فمك التي تطلب فيها غذائك تشعرني بالمسئولية، كل هذا يجعلني أتسائل ، هل الأمومة غريزة تلقائية تأتي مع آلام المخاض ، أم أن تعلقي بك الآن وشعوري بالمسئولية تجاهك هو ما يبرز هذه العاطفة؟
سؤال لا أعتقد أن أحداًيمكنه الإجابة عليه .. ولكن النتيجة هي أن هذا الشعور الذي يغمرني الآن تجاهك يجعلني أدرك أن حب الأم لولدها حب لا حدود له .. فديتك يا أمي الغالية.ـ
التاريخ: 31/7/2008
كلما تأملت هاتان الجوهرتان، أشعر أن سعادتي هي في النظر إليهما، وتنزع مني عيناك إبتسامة مهما كانت حالتي من التعب والإرهاق، لكني سرعان ما أتذكر أن أمامي سنوات طوال من السهر والألم، سأغضب فيها منك، ستعذبني فيها ب "ربشتك"، وستجبرني أحيانا على معاقبتك أشد العقاب، ولكن .. ستبقى هذه العينان نقطة ضعفي ، وستنسيني بنظرة منهن أي ألم وعذاب تسببت به.
يا رب.. سهل علي تربيته وأعني عليها .. وأجعله اللهم من عبادك الصالحين!ـ
أمين
Labels: Azzan, خواطر فتاة تعشق الحزن
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Welcome to Motherhood!About a month back (34 days precisely), I entered a new stage in my life .. a new experience .. no one could prepare you to what to expect even the experts in this field .. because every experience is unique!
Motherhood:
On 2nd of July, I received Allah's gift .. after a cesarean. I would lie to you if I said that I felt that I am a mom instantly. In fact, even after a month, there are times when I am the old me, wanting to spend few hours for me doing what I like and not caring about any one around. Except, I am always reminded by the cries of Baby Azzan.
I think motherhood comes gradually. For example, now when I am having my lunch and Azzan is sleeping in the room .. I keep checking on him all the time .. thinking he might be fussing over a dirty diaper or he might want his lunch too! I think it will take time until I am 100% a mother :p
Azzan, the name:
People keep asking, why did I choose the name. Well actually lots of names were suggested by me and my husband, some I liked and some he liked .. Azzan was one of the few names that we both liked. I liked its sound, and the meaning comes from dignity if I can interpret it right "3izza-3az al shay2 - fahwa 3azzan".
It was also the name of a very famous Omani Imam (Azzan bin Qais). he was known by his justice. Inshallah Azzan takes some of his characters !!
Um Qusai, the Blog:
After having Azzan, lots of people started asking, why didn’t I call him Qusai. Well it was a name I liked and I was hoping to call him Qusai, but I guess it wasn’t written and he was destined to be called Azzan.
Now, I started thinking .. should I change the blog's name to Azzan's name. Azzan's mom's part, saying yes I should since he is my first son. But, the old me .. dont want to change it. Qusai has been there with me for so long .. he was my imaginary son. I will be so cruel if I just changed it because I had the real one. Till now, I didnt take a decision .. so the blog will remain Umqusai's thoughts until further notice :)
Here are few thoughts that came into mind and wanted to share it with you. I miss blogging and interacting with my fellow bloggers, but its not easy especially when I am still at my parents house (I have my grandma asking me to pick up the crying baby and leave the laptop aside while I am tempted to ignore the cries :p ). However, I am here to read your comments and reply to them .. so do comment :)
Saturday, June 07, 2008
and the waiting starts ...I've finally reached my 9th month. Yesssssssssss! I made it this far .. and now the wait starts for the big day !
I have a mixture of suspense, fear and excitment all inside me .. I want to be done and see the little kicker .. but god whenever I hear of the process of him coming out .. I want him to just stay inside and relax!!
Speaking of him, somehow I cant get the idea that I am definatly having a boy out of my head .. we didnt want to know, but something inside assurs me its a boy even though everyone looking at my tummy, or my face tells me its a girl. If it turned out to be a girl, then my dear sweeet girl I am so sorry .. I didnt mean to feel different than you are and I would love you so so so very much too :)
A7madinooo has been asking me to write about the feeling of the father .. and I apologise for not doing so .. I dont know why writing was the last thing in mind since I got pregnant .. maybe because its easier for me to write about something sad than writing about something happy. I will compensate that a7madinoo by writing about how he felt after he held the baby in his hands. I am expecting him to speak more about that than how is experssing his happeniess now. Now, all what he keeps saying is: when is this boy coming out, I want him to take some of the burdens off me :p
Thanks all who kept visiting this blog even when it was quite and empty .. you are the ones who I write this blog for .. coz at least you care to read even nonesense from a pregnant lady :p
Any way, just thought of updating since I know I won't be updating for long .. or maybe not? maybe I will come running to this place when I am tired for the young singer :)
Labels: متفرقات
Sunday, March 02, 2008
معرض مسقط للكتاب
زرت بالأمس معرض مسقط للكتاب ، ولو أن زيارتي كانت متعبة بعض الشيء بسبب ألام الظهر التي يسببها المشاغب الصغير ولكنني إستمتعت بجولة سريعة حول المعرض وبإذن الله ستكون لي زيارة أخرى أشبع فيها من الكتب .. كانت حصيلتي من الزيارة كالآتي:
- مسلمون وأحرار .. متى توقفنا عن التفكير ؟ لإرشاد منجي
شدني العنوان حيث أنني أؤمن بأننا كمسلمين عطلنا عقلنا عن التفكير وركزنا كثيراً على ما يقال لنا، قرأت تعريفاً للكتاب في الإنترنت يصفه بالجرأة .. متلهفة أنا لقراءته
- رجال في التاريخ لعلي الطنطاوي
ما دفعني لشراء الكتاب كان الكاتب الذي إستمتعت بكتبه الأخرى ولكنني أردت أن أستزيد بقصص التاريخ الإسلامي حتى أتعلم منها أكثر عن تلك القصص التي تلهمنا لنؤثر في المستقبل
هذا زادي من الزيارة الأولى، وإن كانت هناك كتب تنصحوني بإقتناءها لا ترددوا ولكن لا تتأخروا فباقي 5 أيام للمعرض
(Jeff, this post is about the book exhibition, I promise I will come with an english post soon :) )
- مسلمون وأحرار .. متى توقفنا عن التفكير ؟ لإرشاد منجي
شدني العنوان حيث أنني أؤمن بأننا كمسلمين عطلنا عقلنا عن التفكير وركزنا كثيراً على ما يقال لنا، قرأت تعريفاً للكتاب في الإنترنت يصفه بالجرأة .. متلهفة أنا لقراءته
- رجال في التاريخ لعلي الطنطاوي
ما دفعني لشراء الكتاب كان الكاتب الذي إستمتعت بكتبه الأخرى ولكنني أردت أن أستزيد بقصص التاريخ الإسلامي حتى أتعلم منها أكثر عن تلك القصص التي تلهمنا لنؤثر في المستقبل
هذا زادي من الزيارة الأولى، وإن كانت هناك كتب تنصحوني بإقتناءها لا ترددوا ولكن لا تتأخروا فباقي 5 أيام للمعرض
(Jeff, this post is about the book exhibition, I promise I will come with an english post soon :) )
Labels: متفرقات