Books Read 2012

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Books I Read (Minus the DNF) with random commentary.
JAN 2012

Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma

Comments: Incest is icky, but this is a heartbreaking love story between siblings.  And I say this with absolute seriousness. Remember in V.C. Andrews’ Dawn when Philip Cutler is all ‘It’s not incest if we turn the lights off’? and that was um, gross, but in Forbidden, I was really rooting for Maya and Lochan and hoping they’d run away (but not procreate). I felt so TORMENTED after this read.

FEB 2012

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

Comments: Pretty Cover!

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Comments: Hazel’s quest to meet that Peter Van author dude mirrors my Christopher Pike stalking. I can relate. Unlike Peter Van Mumble Mumble, Christopher Pike is really nice and HE WROTE ON MY FB WALL WISHING ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONE WEEK BEFORE MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY WHICH MEANS HE HAS ME MARKED ON HIS CALENDER. ZOMG I’VE BEEN MARKED BY THE PIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To quote Hazel: What is this life?????

MARCH 2012

Misery by Stephen King

Comments: The book is much freakier than the movie. I learned a new word: man gland. And when Annie Wilkes threatened to cut off Paul Sheldon’s man gland, I was secretly worshipping Stephen King’s sick mind.

APRIL 2012

Cujo by Stephen King

Comments: Rabid dogs are scary. That’s all. Read with some liberal skimming as there were lots of exposition on ad agencies and whatnot. Could use a ‘man-gland’ now and then.

MAY 2012

The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott.

Comments: Stopped page 195. Reason: Library book due. Aspiring dressmaker on Titanic. I liked the pacing and rapid scene breaks, but when my copy went back to the library, I felt like I could live without finishing it. I’d probably pick it back up again when the Titanic mood strikes.

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas

Comments: Derek Craven is one sexy gambling kingpin. And he speaks with a cockney accent, much like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, except Derek gets it ON with mousy romance novelist. Not that Dick Van Dyke doesn’t get it ON now and again. If you recall his Penguin dance, he is very flexible and… feral.

JULY 2012

Cracked by K.M. Walton

Comments: The bully and the boy he bullied become roommates in a psych ward. This is neither here nor there, but I kept imagining Biff and George McFly as roommates.

AUGUST 2012

Phantom by Susan Kay

Comments: This is one big mother of a book, but I am obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera and sort of want to marry the man behind the mask. This book is about his life and is so scrumptiously written that I actually looked up from the text to mouth “Wow.” Oh Phantom, you are like the most perfect man EVER. Master architect, magician, composer, tortured genius—who cares about your face? Christine doesn’t deserve you…Please take me to your secret lair and let me play with your mechanical monkey (oh how wrong this sounds).

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SEPTEMBER 2012

The Aviary by Kathleen O’Dell

Comments: Gothic-y middle grade involving a tumbledown mansion and an aviary filled with creepy birds. Birds freak me out. Feathers. Beaks. Scaly feet. Nasty avian scum! I once saw a man at the beach with two parrots on his arm and nearly tossed my cookies. Do not EVER ask me to pet your pigeon.

God-Shaped Hole by Tiffanie Debartolo

Comments: This book is like a love letter to LA from characters who hate LA. This book is hilarious and the voice, my God the voice…Since this is blurbed as “This generation’s Love Story” on the cover, I already knew what was coming and yet, the end felt like a million daggers into my heart all the same. And when I finished picking up the shattered pieces of my heart off the floor, I thought about all the tragic endings I encountered this year. The Phantom. This book. A Fault in Our Stars. Forbidden. It’s the year of tempestuous love and untimely deaths. P.S. I pictured Jacob and Trixie as Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke circa Reality Bites.

Projects

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I’ve been semi-hard at work on my second novel. I have a title. A badass title. Unfortunately, I am artistically superstitious and cannot talk about my work-in-progress(s) until I’ve finished drafting so you must remain in the dark.

This second project is a YA historical fantasy set in Scotland circa 188o. See collage below… There is a high amount of Victorian Era drug use involving absinthe and syringes. Interesting research fact, syringes were invented in the 19th century–in Scotland, in fact–so it was meant to be.

As per my tastes, the fantasy element is very light so it’s more of an ‘alternate history’ than ‘high fantasy.’ Also, character names and places will never contain ‘ae.’

In three simple words: love, drugs, and monsters.

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And below is WIP #3, a YA historical fantasy set in Elizabethan England.  It was born out of a NyQuil-induced dream involving Elizabethan-era spies, though the actual premise is pure backstabbing Rome/I,Claudius. A vague description: Ruffle collars, court intrigue, poison, murder, executions, empires, tyrants…

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Stranger than Fiction

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carview.php?tsp= It is a truth universally acknowledged by my co-workers that we work in the epicenter of insanity.  Crazies come, crazies go…Oh how I wish they would GO!  Some are nice, some are just plain mean (one of them hurt my feelings and I will never be the same again. SOB!).

So another crazy lady came into the office. She was wearing a sundress and a floppy wicker hat–not too crazy on first impression. She leaves for 5 minutes, presumably to buy a drink, and returns in tie-dyed skinny jeans and a paint-splattered blouse.

Where did she change her outfit? In her car? More importantly, WHY did she change her outfit? Maybe she had to change for work? But tie-dyed skinny jeans???

At first, I thought she was another person because the first lady I was speaking to had on a sundress. I did not expect an outfit change. She asks to use the bathroom and exits wearing another dress. 3 OUTFITS IN 15 MINS. My head is spinning. This lady just performed a Clark Kent to Superman outfit change before my very eyes. The answer: lady=superhero.

Speaking of Superman, I just watched Superman 4 on TV and must quote Nuclear Man: “Take me to her OR I WILL HURT PEOPLE!!!”

Revision Den & Unconventionally Sexy Men

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carview.php?tsp=Apparently I only ever blog anymore when I’m high on caffeine and man oh man am I CAFFEINATED.

A couple of irrelevant things. The novel. Oh man the novel. It is a fat man in need of more liposuction. Here are some word count stats that will excite no one but fellow writers and moi.

1st Draft: 113K words.

1st Revision: 103K

2nd Revision: 101K

3rd Revision: 95K

4th and current revision: 80K and shrinking…

carview.php?tsp=My swiftly diminishing word count gets me so jazzed!

Almost as jazzed as thinking about Tom Hiddleston, who I think is a dreamboat but everybody just looks at me with barely concealed disgust and is all, “Of all the hotties in The Avengers, you choose Loki? EW!”

To which I reply: “Hiddleston, much like an olive, is an acquired taste.”

Them: “That’s a taste I’ll never acquire.”

Me: “I want to eat ALL the olives.” And now I realize that’s gross.

But then I hear this sexy voice clip of T.Hiddleston reading from ‘The Read Necklace’ and I want to open up a JAR of olives and GORGE!

These are my thoughts while caffeinated. Now you know I’m weird but I hope you love me anyway.

 

Old Maid

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carview.php?tsp=So folks are telling me I’m getting old. Granted, a lot of the folks I know (bless their bitter little hearts) tend to be assholes and extremely age obsessed. Allow me to recreate a scene from my real life. This is my embittered co-worker giving advice to naive co-worker: “You better get a ring on your finger soon or you’ll end up an old maid like TY.”
Being naturally spunky, I’m all: “I age like fine wine, you !$#^%#$.”
Whereas embittered coworker counters with, “Wine from the Titanic that nobody wants.”
My reply: “Wine from the Titanic is the best wine of all!”

I’m only 27 and as much as I would like to retire from the workforce, the fact that I can’t collect Social Security means I’m not that old. I’d be the first to admit that for a large part of my early twenties, I lived in fear of reaching 30. My obsession with The Witch of Blackbird Pond is partly to blame since Kit Tyler and her cousins got hitched by the ripe old age of 16. Now that I’m almost 30 and surrounded by 21-year-olds dreading 23, I don’t see anything wrong with being a 30 or 40 or 50 year old woman, single, childless, and LIKING IT. So I’ve been going around telling people I can’t wait to turn 30 and the response is always a baffled, sometimes horrified WHY??? They think I have very warped ideas. I think society is warped. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a Jane Austen novel and that’s not a good feeling.

2011 Books Read

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Better late than never. Remember how I used to blog and make OCD-worthy lists and collages of all I’d read? I still make lists, but collages these days, while never extinct, are few and far between.

2011 was a slim yet memorable reading year. I discovered Lisa Kleypas and dedicated the entire spring to reading her backlists. And new author crush: Stephanie Perkins! I plan to write an entire blog post on how much I swooned during the reading of Lola and the Boy Next Door.

The Wild Rose, the  final installment of Jennifer Donnelly’s Rose Trilogy came out in August covered in awesome sauce. There were Lawrence of Arabia and motorcar chases, dude.

In between, there were many ‘Did Not Finished’ books. I’m a notorious abandon-er of books (known to abandon on the last few pages!), so I don’t count something as ‘Read’ unless I read or liberally skimmed every. single. word.

Oh, and I read The Witch of Blackbird Pond again. It’s a sickness. This is re-read #12.

Jan. 2011
Room by Emma Donoghue

Feb 2011
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare (re-read)
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (re-read)

March 2011
Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Re-read).
Sugar Daddy by Lisa Kleypas
Blue-Eyed Devil by Lisa Kleypas

April 2011
Secrets of a Summer Night by Lisa Kleypas
It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas
After the Night by Linda Howard
Mine Till Midnight by Lisa Kleypas

May 2011
Scandal in Spring by Lisa Kleypas
Seduce Me At Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas
Tempt Me At Twilight by Lisa Kleypas
Married by Morning by Lisa Kleypas
Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
Love in the Afternoon by Lisa Kleypas

June 2009
Intensity by Dean Koontz
The Lost City of Z by David Grann (liberal skimming)

July 2011
A Shore Thing by Snooki
Jane by April Lindner

August 2011
The Wild Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly (liberal skimming)

September 2011
Fury by Elizabeth Miles

October 2011
Love, Aubrey by Suzanne LaFleur
If Tomorrow Comes by Sidney Sheldon
Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

Dec 2011
Legend by Marie Lu

You thought you’ve seen the last of me…

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and you would be WRONG. Ho ho, guess who’s blogging again.

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve been tugging my hair out tinkering with the dreaded query letter and giving myself an ulcer that no amount of Junior Mints could cure. So in my rare, vulnerable moments on ye ole blog in which I express that I have a soul, I’d like to say:  if I don’t get published…I will cry. Deep, heart-wrenching, sobs. Heathcliffian head-banging on tree, howling on the moors type of weeping.

For you see, unless I am high on caffeine or the prospect of watching Michael Fassbender’s Shame on a High Definition big screen TV, I am a reticent girl in person. But if I am doing my job right, my novel and query letter will have an authorial voice that BOOMS. Much like how I like to type in ALL CAPs here.

Oh dear. I am having a melodramatic freak-out in which only a picture of Michael Fassbender’s abs could cure.

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Squeal! OMFG! And other high-pitched fangirl sound effects

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I haven’t blogged in ages and most of my readers (if there are any left) are probably tiffed at me for disappearing without reappearing, so I’ll start by apologizing and humming some lines from Evita –“hum hum hum… you must love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

In the interim, I’ve finished the 4th draft of my novel and am editing the hell out of it.  It has everything I love in a book: sex, lies, ghosts, atmospheric fog, haunted houses, knives, dark family secrets, love four squares (which is more salacious than your run of the mill Love Triangle), people slapping people in the face, and cat fights.  Prepare to learn NOTHING and be scandalized. My novel has the nutritional value of a bag of cheese doodles. I intend to make you fat. Optimistically speaking, I hope to query by mid-Jan to late Feb.

In other squeal-able news: you are aware that I have this unhealthy, stalkerish obsession for Christopher Pike, right? This morning, I woke up to a comment by the elusive Pike himself! I was skeptical at first, but after a thorough cross-examination of possible suspects who could be effing with me, I’ve concluded that the comment could be authentic. And then I proceeded to glitter like a Cullen. Imagine! C.Pike was on my blog. Maybe trolling through my archives? This is the stuff DREAMS are made of! Not your dreams. My dreams.

Read the comment yourself. I hope he doesn’t mind. And I really hope he hadn’t stumbled upon the post in which I compared him to The Phantom of the Opera.

T.Y. This is the real Christopher Pike. My gf caught your blog and she asked me to wish you a happy birthday because…well, I just had a birthday, on November 12th, and she thought you would be happy to hear from me on such a special day, even if I am a little late. Oh, and I’m supposed to deny being someone crazy on Amazon. I get that occasionally, where someone says they’re me. The one place I do often post is on the main Christopher Pike fan page on Facebook. That guy IS me, and you can write me there, although I often take a while to respond. But be reassured that I don’t post reviews of my books and I never attack people who dislike my novels, especially since I’m probably my own worst critic!
Yours, Christopher Pike aka Kevin McFadden
P.S. I do run. I do wear New Balance shoes.
P.S.S. Unfortunately, I don’t look like Harrison Ford. More like the Elephant Man. Sorry.

Stop being humble Christopher Pike! If by ‘Elephant Man,’ you mean THIS:

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The Great Book Make-Out

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I like pictures of people making-out. I like pictures of books. I found this picture on the intrawebs and it’s a stew of all my likes. It brightens what’s left of my heart.

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Am dropping in to tell you that I am …almost, almost done with my WIP. Then I can read and blog without guilt. But for now, nose! Back to grindstone.