November 2, 2006

Knicks 1-0?!!?? Get on the train!

Posted in New York Knicks at 4:10 pm by theredhookraider

This is juuuusssst great.  When I need you damn idiots to lose, you go and win a tough road game, despite Jamal Crawford’s best efforts to throw the game.  Seriously.  The guy shot a John Starks-esque 4-of-22 from the field including missing potential game winners at the end of regulation and the 1st OT.  Go Team Go!  Thankfully, he showed some heart.  Just like Eddy Curry.

Seriously though: everyone’s favorite train wreck was able to pull out the 3OT win in spectacular fashion.  I think the NY Times says it best:

It was a victory the Knicks nearly let slip away countless times, with careless turnovers, poor shooting and — particularly in the fourth quarter — hasty decisions.

That sounds like a quality team!  Hey Chicago and Miami!  Hey Eastern Conference!  Start shaking in your boots!  The Knicks are coming!

“Ok, I want you to miss the next shot…and then the next one….
but you will have to hit one, just so no one suspects anything”

So now I’m beginning to wonder if Isiah perhaps had some money on the game.  And he used Jamal Crawford to, you know, hedge against future earnings.  That’s the only way I can make sense of Jamal’s 18% FG% on the night.

On a fun note, and a personally gratifying one for me, one of the only non-reprehensible guys on the team, Q-Rich, had a stellar night.  He solved world hunger, went 10 of 13 for 31 points, made some quick bang with heidi klum, AND even managed to pull down 9 rebounds (that’s one rebound short of a double-double!  Holy shit!  I didn’t know that guys on the Knicks were even capable of double-doubles!!).  He also drew the tough assignment of guarding Mike “White” Miller, one of the Grizz’s only players last night; apparently Fratello thought the Knicks were such a joke that he only started two guys: Miller and Hakim Warrick.  Miller, dogged by Q’s pressure all night and facing constant quintiple teams, finished with 18 points on 7-of-23 shooting.

Speaking of double-doubles, Eddy Curry put up 17 pts, 14 boards and 3 blocks.  Whoa!  Does the FedEx Center have some kind of sideline defibrillator that we didn’t know about?  Way to go, big guy.

Now it is time for something that is just…well, odd.  Apparently, Jared Jeffries had successful surgery.  That’s normal.  What is abnormal is the NY Times description of how the Dr’s found him post surgery:

“…doctors told him he awoke babbling about a rather vivid dream: ‘I was following a hobbit in a cotton-candy field, chasing chili dogs.’  So Jeffries’s sanity might now be as questionable as his broken wrist.”

My favorite part about the quote is the venerable NY Times questioning Jeffries’ sanity.  Good times!

Let’s break this down: Jeffries was uhh….following a hobbit in a field.  Now I guess that’s remotely normal, if you are into Tolkien and some weird D&D / fantasy / role-playing shit.  But this isn’t just any field; this is a cotton-candy field.  Now we’re reaching the just-plain “odd” category.  Let’s spice things up with chili dogs!  This dude is fucked up!

Who is more out there: Gilbert Arenas or Jared Jeffries?

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October 31, 2006

The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (f/k/a “A Clockwork Orange” f/k/a the New York Knicks 2006-7 Season Preview)

Posted in New York Knicks at 8:13 pm by theredhookraider

Ladies and Gentlemen: Your 2006-2007 NEW YORK KNICKS!

This was a brutal movie that I was once forced to sit through on a flight.  While on said flight I was so ridiculously hungover that my throat felt like someone had pushed a wool sweater through a meat grinder and then jammed that into my mouth and duct-taped my mouth shut.  Oh, and my eyes were pinned open and headphones placed on my ears.  Hellish!

Kind of like watching this incarnation of the NY Knicks.

I hate this team.  I have grown to abhor stupid Stephon and his dumb mouth yapping away.  I can’t deal with Steve Francis complaining about not getting the ball enough.  I will miss Jalen’s quotes, but not his work ethic on the defensive side of the ball.  I dislike fat Jerome James and the fact that he gets paid the equivalent to Belize’s GDP (that’s actually a lie, he makes about 1/34th of Belize’s GDP…BUT STILL).  Anyway, there are many people on the team that I flat-out loathe.  But some that I like…and here’s why:

Jamal Crawford: Larry Brown called him the hardest-working Knick last year.  He at least puts forth a cursory effort on the D end of the game and he is an endearing fellow.  Additionally, he has shown a tremendous flair for the dramatic (hit several game winners last year).

Quentin Richardson: I like him because a) he tries hard on the D side of the ball (he’s clearly the Knicks best – perhaps only – defender) and b) he once had to be restrained from beating the crap out of Marbury.  Someone should absolutely piss-pound Marbury, and it might has well be Q.  Plus he had that fun “tapping his forehead with his two fists after a basket” thing while on the Clips with Darius Miles.  Oh, and he’s banging her.

David Lee: He’s a badass whitey and really good at doing all of the little things.  This guy is a baller.

Channing Frye: He worked all summer on bulking up his upper body and his jumper.  Very nice.

Hmmm….that’s really about it.  Notice I didn’t even bother mentioning Eddy Curry or Nate Robinson?  That’s mostly because neither guy really brings much to the table.  They’re both just sort of…there.  Which, in basketball, is really, really uhh…not a good thing.  And as far as Eddy Curry goes, would I rather have Tyrus Thomas and this yr’s #1 draft pick?  Yes.  In an Eddy Curry heartbeat.  Malik Rose is a great role player – but not at $7m/yr.  And as far as Jeffries goes, I don’t know enough about him and now he’s hurt until the holidays.   Anyway, the real problem here is Isiah, yes – AND, as I have complained about time and again, Jim Dolan.

Dolan needs to be taken outside and whooped.  Seriously?  Would anyone really mind?  Maybe the Knicks fans could get together and help, like this picture.  Let’s look closer at James Dolan’s track record (BIG/Special thanks/paraphrasing to selltheknicks.com):

• Took a formidable electronics superstore, The Wiz, and bankrupted it.
• Deprived Cablevision subscribers of the YES Network.
• Sandbagged Mayor Bloomberg and the NY Jets in their bid for a Westside Stadium. Simultaneously ruined any chance of the Olympics being awarded to NY.
• Orchestrated a media cover-up in the wake of his right hand man, Isiah Thomas’ sexual harassment allegation.
• Unceremoniously fired NY Knicks living legend, Marv Albert (albeit in the wake of his own..uhh..sexual harassment trial).  Proceeded to then set up a police state and handcuff the rest of the broadcast team from criticizing the Knicks on-air.
• Influential voice in the departure of Knick greats such as Patrick Ewing, Latrell Sprewell and Jeff Van Gundy.
• Dolan’s affinity for the charitable choir boy, Allan Houston, led to the most offensive contract in Knicks’ (and, arguably, NBA) history.

In his best (and by best I mean “worst”) move yet, Dolan signed off on the roughly $40m buy-out for one year of Larry Brown’s service when Larry was the one guy in the organization who questioned Isiah’s ridiculous personnel moves.  Larry: news flash!  You messed with Isiah and Isiah has Dolan in his back pocket!  The whole thing is really ridiculous and I really feel bad for the young players.  I don’t feel bad for the soulless miscreants like Marbury or Francis.  I really feel bad for the guys who seem like really good kids, like Frye and Lee and Crawford.  It’s a shame that they got caught up in it.

The main problem with this team is that they aren’t even likable.  Isiah and Dolan have tainted them so much that a casual fan can’t just sit there and root for the Knicks.  The Suns/Clippers/Bulls on the other hand are eminently likable: they’re fun to watch, they play with heart and passion, and they have excellent leadership.  In many ways, they take after their coaches:

• The Suns play free-wheeling, wide open basketball; they take their cues from a coach (D’Antonio) that cut his teeth in the Euro game
• The Clippers play fundamentally sound basketball and are fun to watch because they make the extra pass and are in the right place at the right time; they take their cues from a basketball lifer who teaches the game the right way.
• The Bulls play in-your-face D and rely on clutch baskets from creative offensive players; if that doesn’t describe Scott Skiles as a player, I don’t know what does.

Unfortunately, the Knicks now seem to take on the personalities of both Thomas and Dolan.  Which means oodles of finger-pointing and zero accountability for their mistakes.

I love the Knicks, I always will…but I’ll love them a lot more in 2010 when Marbury and Francis come off the books.

Can’t wait for the 2006-7 NBA season!  Let’s go Knicks!  I’ll be rooting for them to lose as many games as it takes to get Isiah fired and to hemorrhage as much money as it takes Dolan to sell the team.

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