| CARVIEW |
Sohbet, or spiritual conversation and fellowship, is an essential part of Mevlevi practice. As such, I wanted to share the text of a recent sohbet. It comes in two parts. The first part includes the text itself. The second part includes a short exploration of how and why these readings came.
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
Sohbet Text
اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي حُبَّكَ وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُّكَ وَالْعَمَلَ الَّذِي يُقَرِّبُنِي إِلَى حُبِّكَ
Allahumma arzuqni hubbaka wa hubba man yuhibbuka wal-‘amal alladhi yuqarribuni ila hubbika.
O Allah! Grant me Your love, the love of those who love You, and actions that will bring
me closer to Your love.
‘A dervish is someone who makes a practice of humility, service, friendship, loyalty, and
patience’ Kabir Dede, In The House of Remembering
‘May it be love’ (aşk olsun) ; ‘to give love’ (aşk vermek); ‘to receive love’ (aşk almak). Mevlevis
have the view that everything is reached through ecstasy (cezbe) and love (aşk). The
proverb ‘Aşk olmayınca meşk olmaz’ (‘Without love, there is no practice’) is a guide for a
Mevlevi in everything he or she does … during a visit, a Mevlevi may say, ‘We visited a
certain person; they gave love and we received love” Mevlevi Adab and Customs, p.3
‘When Mevlevis simultaneously kiss each other’s hands it is called görüşmek … In this way,
regardless of temporary things such as age, status, and knowledge, two souls have
celebrated each other’. Mevlevi Adab and Customs, 18-19
‘While engaged in sema’, Mevlana came up to Hace Nefiseddin, held him by the collar and
asked, ‘What will you say if they ask you, ‘Why does he (Mevlana) keep rolling up the
sleeves of his ferece?’
Nefiseddin asnwered, ‘Whatever Hudavendigar (Mevlana) says’.
Mevlana continued, ‘The universe is a great khaneqah. In this khaneqah, the real shaykh is
God. All the prophets, all the attained ones and prominent people of the ummah are like
visiting Sufis. When a Sufi comes to the khaneqah, he sees the person whose sleeves are
rolled up and knows that this is the one who serves in the khaneqah, and so learns about
the manners and traditions of the khaneqah from that one. In this universe, we are the
servants of God and the lovers of God, too’.
He then recited a hadith, ‘The master of a community is the one who serves that
community’.
Quoted in Mevlevi Adab and Customs, 81
Reflections: ‘Without Love, there is no practice’
Our path is often described as the madhab-i ishq, the Way of Love, in which we gradually let go of our pretensions and our projections, our cleverness and our selfishness. We are called let go of an imagined, metaphorical love (or ishq-i majazi) and journey towards real love (ishq-i haqiqi). May we all find our way there. May we all find our way home.
Almost 10 years ago now, my wife and I were blessed to attend a mehfil-i sema, to celebrate the urs of her Pir. It was a beautiful gathering, for all sorts of reasons, not least of which was the welcome this one received. What struck this one most, however, was a clear sense of the love in which this gathering unfolded. The qawwali music drew many people into a hal, and as each person allowed that moment to embrace them, others clasped hands around them to ensure their safety, and to allow them a space in which to go deeply into their private moment with Allah. Others took a small gift of money to the presiding shaykh, offering their gift with obvious long-felt devotion. When this one felt drawn to offer a gift, a beautiful and palpable sense of acceptance flowed between our hearts. You are welcome. You are accepted in God’s court. You are loved. It was healing and transformative, because I hadn’t realised how much it was needed until it arrived! Allah!
Returning to our weekly zikrs, this one became ever-more clearly aware that the love and acceptance offered there was also freely available here. Although the mehfil and our weekly Mevlevi zikr differ in form, they both offer the same opportunity to give and receive love. In particular, over the years, this one has found that the zikr has loosened so many inward knots that it is clear that it is the real place of healing. There have been so many moments of deeply cherished intimacy, small pearls of beauty, that it would be a struggle to express how they have impacted this heart.
After the zikr and the concluding prayer, there is a moment where we face the one leading our remembrance. Each person is seen individually, celebrated individually. This heart has felt the same love, the same acceptance and the same opening to transformation as that on offer at that blessed mehfil. What this one has learned is this: love is not a concept to be debated, it is a reality to be experienced. Moreover, it can be experienced everywhere, all at once, to the extent that we can be present and open to it.
This is the background, then, to this evening’s sharing, that love can be felt, love can be seen and love can be participated in. Right here. Right now. This is why the opening prayer of love feels so appropriate, especially when this is, by all accounts, a recommended prayer for beloved Rajab: Allah is al-Fattah, the Opener, and the Giver of Love. And a dervish, as Kabir Dede makes clear, is someone who practises that love, that building of presence, that offering of devotion. Indeed, that is what we do here, every week.
This one was really struck by the descriptions of practice from Mevlevi Adab and Customs. Not only are they beautiful, they are also practical. They offer us opportunities to deepen, to give, show and thus become love. We are offered a new way of ‘seeing with’ or görüşmek. We can see each other, see with each other and celebrate each other. Allah!
The last passage, drawn from Aflaki’s Manaqib al-Arifin, has helped deepen this realisation. Love is work. I have to roll up the sleeves of our ferece, I have to get my hands dirty as it were. Even during the sema itself, Mevlana is able to convey this moment of deep teaching. The work of love isn’t always pretty, it doesn’t always look smart, doesn’t always wear the ‘right’ clothes, so let go of all such pretensions. Seeing the world as a khaneqah means opening this heart to seeing each moment as a lesson.
This passage has really drawn this one’s attention to practice, to the small, beautiful practices of our Way. Each action can become an offering, an opening. If love is work, working towards that love is also love: ‘In this universe, we are the servants of God and the lovers of God, too’, as Mevlana says.
Finally, this passage has refocused my heart’s attention on service, and on striving to internalise the guidance offered by our teachers. This one is called to renewed attention to detail, to focus on those things which help us build presence together, those things which help us foster the growth of community, of a shared way. To that end, this heart is left holding a number of questions, some of which can be expressed, some of which, as yet, cannot:
Is my service real? What are the motivations behind each new action? What serves that purpose, and what hinders it?
May this heart be opened to deep listening, to true seeing and to devoted service.
Dem-i Hazret-i Mevlana…
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A powerful reminder by Shaykh Musa Penfound.
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Ibn Ata’illah’s The Pure Intention: On Knowledge of the Unique Name is a beautiful book exploring the meaning and significance of the Divine Name Allah! This heart has been called to focus on this Name and so, God wills, Ibn Ata’illah’s work offers us an invitation to journey together a little more deeply.
Now this unique Name of the Godhead is composed of four letters: alif, lam, lam, and ha, as the poet said:
Four letters in which my heart is absorbed,
And into which all my thoughts and concerns have disappeared:
Alif, by which creation was assembled (ta’allaf) by design,
Lam, to signal the way of self-reproach (malama),
Another lam to add to the meanings,
Then a ha through which I love (uhim) and comprehend.
(attributed to Mansur al-Hallaj)
Each of these letters has a special meaning, just as every one of God’s Names has a special meaning. The alif comes from love (ulfa) and union (ta’lif); God united all of His creation in recognition of His Oneness and acknowledgement of Him as their God, Maker, Creator and Provider. God says, ‘If you ask them who created them, they will say, ‘Allah’ (Quran 43:87), If you ask them who created the heavens and the earth, they will say, ‘Allah’ (Quran 31:25). Allah was and there was nothing before Him, and there will be nothing after Him, as He said, ‘I was a hidden treasure, and I wanted to be known, so I created creation and made them know Me, and they knew Me’. And He united the hearts of His servants in love for Him and worship and obedience to Him in faith and tawhid, as He said, ‘Had you spent all that is in the world entire, you would not have been able to unite their hearts; but God united their hearts, for He is Mighty, Wise’ (Quran 8:63). He also united their hearts in recognition of His worship and acknowledgement of His Oneness of Lordship. God says, ‘All in the heavens and the earth shall come to the Compassionate as a servant’ (Quran 19:93). A poet said:
Blessed be Him whose servant I am proud to be,
Glory be to Him, glory be to Him, and may He be praised.
There is no dominion but His, mighty is He.
He is the First in His authority, and the Last.
He united the hearts of His servants with grace, favour and blessing, and made it a part of the provisions He gave them; sometimes He withholds and sometimes He gives forth. God says, ‘I created the jinn and man only that they might worship Me; I desire of them no provision, nor do I desire that they nourish Me’ (Quran 11:56-57)
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A beautiful sohbet on the reality of La ilaha illa Allah by Shaykh Musa Penfound. Well worth listening to. Allah!
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
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In Surah al-Furqan, the 25th chapter of the Quran we read the following words:
‘Have you seen [O Prophet] the one who has taken their own desires as their god? Will you then be a keeper over them?’ (Quran 25:43)
This verse occurs in the midst of a longer passage recalling the destruction of numerous ancient communities that refused to turn away from the wrong path, stubbornly clinging to their harmful ways. The Quran then turns to the Meccan establishment, connecting their transgressive behaviours to those of these earlier communities. The question the Quran is seemingly asking here is: will you also persist in your wrongdoing? Can you not see the end of such a path?
The Quran then speaks directly to the Prophet (as). Have you seen those who take their desires as their god, who allow their least whim and fancy override every other consideration, regardless of the harm it causes? Are you their keeper, their wakil? The Divine alone is our one true Guardian.
As I read this ayah on my way to work a few days ago that this is me. Right here. Right now. How often have I allowed my own agenda to come before others, to come before that moment’s most appropriate action? The Quran is speaking to me, in the deep places of my heart. If I want the Prophet’s guardianship, then I must strive against my egoic self. The nafs is a slippery customer and so the work is hard but necessary. It brought this heart relief to read the following verses:
‘Do you not see how your Lord lengthens the shade? If He had willed, He could have made it stand still – We made the sun its indicator – but We gradually draw it towards Us, little by little’ (Quran 25:45-46)
It is only by God’s light that we are able to perceive our dark half. It is only Divine mercy that allows us to act, even as we become slowly more aware of our complicity in our own problems. My own beloved teacher has repeatedly said over the years that we should ‘heal our problems with love’. The Quran says here: ‘We gradually draw it towards Us, little by little’. And so, it seems, the cure for own self-fixation is to quietly and continually turn up, to practice being present before and with our Lord. Little by little divine grace melts the ice around our hearts and brings us home.
And our last prayer is in praise of God, Sustainer of all the Worlds.
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A realisation was gifted to this one’s heart yesterday morning. The month of Rajab is about love. It is about falling in love with Allah once more, and falling ever more deeply into that vast embrace. Sha’ban, the next month of the Islamic calendar, is about falling in love with the Prophet (as) and his beautiful way, his blessed sunnah, as the means by which we deepen that love. Ramadan can thus become that quiet time, where the noise of ordinary life fades and a stillness opens, a stillness in which we can return our Creator’s love in the whispered prayers of our fasting selves.
اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي حُبَّكَ وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُّكَ وَالْعَمَلَ الَّذِي يُقَرِّبُنِي إِلَى حُبِّكَ
Allahumma arzuqni hubbaka wa hubba man yuhibbuka wal-‘amal alladhi yuqarribuni ila hubbika.
O Allah! Grant me Your love, the love of those who love You, and actions that will bring me closer to Your love.
Love is the door. Love is the key. May love increase in our hearts.
Ask olsun! May it be love!
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As I am not myself, this breath is His.
Whoever breathes before this breath blasphemes.
Masnavi Serif 1.3139, trans. A. Williams
He is al-Zahir, the Manifest. He is al-Batin, the Hidden. Wheresoever I turn, there is the Face of God. My very breath is His gift, bringing new life in each passing moment. It is also the gift of companionship. In each new breath, I am invited to communion with God, to walk alongside Him, to simply be with Him. What response can there be to such an overwhelming embrace other than love?
And praise be to God Who maketh it so.
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Allah’s Beautiful Names are an endless source of inspiration and reflection. Each Name opens a doorway into a particular quality, a particular way of relating to the Divine. As such, chanting specific Names for specific results has long been a part of Sufi methodology. More recently, however, the power and beauty of bathing in all of the Divine Names at once has become clear to this one. The traditional chant of the Asma Allah al-Husna has a hypnotic quality, opening out into a space of beautiful bewilderment. Each Name folds around the heart, dissolving inward boundaries and notions of self.
I would like to share two videos. The first is a chant, sung by Sami Yusuf. The video is especially evocative. It really conveys something of the inward moment this heart experiences, in which lights and colours continually fold into each other, and the space within the centre dissolves in light.
The second is a profound exploration of the the meanings of the Divine Names by the wonderful Spiritual Relief You Tube channel (check out their website too).
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
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We are moving through Rajab, the month of God (shahr Allah), and thus our hearts turn towards the approach of Ramadan. It seems appropriate therefore to focus our attention on Allah. As such, I wanted to share some of the beautiful reflections offered by Ibn Ata’illah, in his book, The Pure Intention: On Knowledge of the Unique Name.
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
Now concerning the third perspective, that of gnosis, it has been said that the Real chose this Name – Allah – for three reasons:
Firstly, for itself, since it is unique and shared by no one, neither metaphorically nor literally, because of the mysteries, wisdoms and meanings it embodies, and because of the uniqueness and glory it implies.
Secondly, because of the subtle meanings and noble qualities it synthesises. Other Names can have one or two meanings, such as Creator, Maker, Designer, Beginner, Cause and so on, which all share the same meaning, even though each one has something marks it out from the others. Consider also Names such as Provider, Giver of Blessings, Kind, Giver of Grace, Generous and Munificent, all essentially mean the same thing. All the other Names and Qualities might share common meanings with others, or be singular and have only one meaning. The Name Allah, however, has meanings beyond count and limit, and all the other Names ultimately refer back to it and act as adjectives for it, and are defined by it, while it is not defined by anything but the Essence.
Thirdly, because it is distinguished by mysteries which are not present in any of the other Names. God’s Grace, Glory, Names and Qualities are all tremendous perfections, but this one Name has an additional perfect distinction which sets it aside from all of them. Just as, although the Torah, Gospel, Psalms and Quran are all the Word of God, He chose the Quran and set it aside from all of them, He likewise chose this one Name from all His Names for special distinction and glory.
One special distinction of the Name is that it is perfect in its letters, complete in its meaning, unique in its mysteries and singular in its quality. Firstly, it is Allah; if the initial alif is removed, it leaves lam-lam-ha, which spells lillah, ‘to God’. If the first lam is then removed, this leaves lam-ha, which spells lahu, ‘to Him’. Finally, if the second lam is removed, this leaves the letter ha, which signifies the third person pronoun Hu, ‘He’. Thus, every letter of the Name has a complete meaning and a perfect distinction, and its meaning does not change. When the letters are separated, no benefit is lost, nor any wisdom removed, and each successive word has a wondrous and marvellous meaning of its own. The meaning of these words and their letters will be explained at the end of this section, God willing.
The other Names are not like this, for if their letters are removed or separated, their meanings change and they are nullified and spoiled, and no longer give any benefit. This shows this Name (Allah) is universal and perfect, both in general and detail. The removal, separation or isolation of its letters does not affect its meanings or blot any of its mysteries; its parts and letters are not less than its sum.
This poor one was blessed to encounter a beautiful You Tube channel recently, called Spiritual Relief. I wanted to share an evocative and helpful video on remembrance (dhikr/zikr).
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
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Allah! Beloved Rajab has returned to grace us once more. With its return, our hearts turn towards Ramadan. May our progress begin in love, continue in love and arrive at Ramadan in love.
The Prophet’s (as) beautiful prayer is thus doubly fitting:
اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي حُبَّكَ وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُّكَ وَالْعَمَلَ الَّذِي يُقَرِّبُنِي إِلَى حُبِّكَ
Allahumma arzuqni hubbaka wa hubba man yuhibbuka wal-‘amal alladhi yuqarribuni ila hubbika.
O Allah! Grant me Your love, the love of those who love You, and actions that will bring me closer to Your love.
Rajab is one of the four sacred months of the Islamic tradition, in which fighting is forbidden. May peace arrive swiftly. Ya Allah! We are in dire need of peace.
O Allah! You are Peace, and from You is all Peace!
To bring this post to rest, here is a beautiful ghazal of Hz. Mevlana.
The month of Rajab has come,
that he [the seeker] may gaze upon that marvellous Moon;
And those consumed by the fervour of this Path might find
warmth and even more yearning.
Whosoever comes in prostration shall find refuge and peace;
And whosoever walks in discourtesy shall receive a slap and
chastisement.
Those who are content with the decree of God shall be filled with joy;
But those who rebel against the Sultan shall find nooses around their necks.
Those who are worthy of love shall flourish like Damascus,
And those who do not give their hearts to love, their hearts shall lie in ruins like Aleppo.
You may question why one city prospers while another is brought to ruin—
Only one with the spirit of Khidr knows the spirit of the cause.
Then comes Sha’ban, purposefully for our deliverance,
That we might find sustenance and victory from the Bounty of the Lord.
Then Ramadan follows, the seal of mouths,
That with shut mouths, we may taste the sweetness of prayer.
Here comes Fasting, a goblet that shatters other goblets;
If you doubt this joy, come and experience this ecstasy without wine.
Drink the wine of wisdom on an empty stomach,
For only the eyes of the chaste behold the Beloved in solitude.
Speak to your pride and self-deceit: This season will end;
The cold will depart; warmth and radiance shall take its place.
Let go of seasons, become a servant of Ahmad,
Let your existence, like snow, witness the Arab sun.
Speak not excessively, for they speak much who seek glory
who chase after titles and names.
Divan-i Kebir no. 664
May God’s peace and blessings be with all who pass by. I wanted to offer some beautiful music from the Turkish Sufi tradition, as a belated gift for Hz. Mevlana’s Seb-i Arus.
May the hearts of the lovers be opened.
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An interesting and timely lecture on prayer in the writings of Julian of Norwich, by Professor Philip Sheldrake.
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I wanted to share the text of a profound recent sohbet, that took place online at Rumi’s Rose Garden. I hope to share some reflections on it, as Allah wills.
Section 1: Fihi ma Fihi, 3
The Parvana sent a message in which he said, “Night and day my heart and soul have been at your service, but I have not been able to attend you because of my preoccupation with Mongol affairs.”
[The Master responded:] “These also are works of God inasmuch as they have to do with the safety and security of Islamdom. You have sacrificed your all, both materially and physically, to give a few Muslims the inner tranquility to occupy themselves with acts of devotion in security. Therefore, this too is a good work. Inasmuch as God has inclined you to such good works, your excessive zeal is a sign of His favor. Conversely, when there is a slackening off in this inclination it is a sign of disfavor. God would not wish such a critical good work to be executed by means of a person unless that person is worthy of reward and exalted station. It is like a warm bathhouse, the heat of which comes from a stove. God provides the means for heating, like straw, kindling, dung, and so forth. In external form these things may appear mean and ugly, but they are nonetheless divine favors with regard to their purpose. When the bath is heated by these things people benefit from it.
At this point some friends arrived, but the master apologized, saying, “If I do not rise for you or speak to you to inquire after your condition, it is out of respect for you. The measure of respect for a thing is determined by the propriety of the occasion. During prayer it is not fitting to inquire after one’s father or brother or to bow to them. Not to acknowledge one’s friends and relatives while one is at prayer is the essence of courtesy and respect because, if one does not disjoin oneself from total absorption in an act of devotion and does not become distracted by them, they will not deserve reproach or punishment. This, then, is the essence of attentiveness and courtesy, since one will have been on guard against something on account of which they would have to suffer.”
Someone asked, “Is there any way to approach God other than prayer?”
The answer is more prayer. However, prayer does not exist only in outward form: that is just the “shell” of prayer because it has a beginning and an end. Anything that has a beginning and an end is a “shell.” The proclamation of God’s greatness is the beginning of the prayer and the greeting of peace is its end. Likewise, there is more to the pronouncement of faith than what is said with the tongue because it too has a beginning and an end. Anything that can be vocalized and has a beginning and an end is a “form,” a “shell”; its “soul,” however, is unqualifiable and infinite, without beginning and without end. Anyway, prayer as we know it was formulated by the prophets. Now the Prophet, who formalized prayer, says, “I have a ‘time’ with God during which there is room for neither message-bearing prophet nor angel near in station to God to share with me’.
We know then that the “soul” of prayer is not only its external form but also a state of total absorption and unconsciousness during which all these external forms, for which there is no room, remain outside. In that state there is not room even for Gabriel, who is purely conceptual.’
Section 2: Ghazal 844 Divan-i Kebir
What if, for a moment, you set your thoughts aside?
What if you plunged like a fish into Our ocean?
If thoughts don’t let you sleep, become like the Companions of the Cave.
What if you became a sacred light, beyond selfhood and space?
You are but a wisp of straw, and We are the Amber of prosperity.
What if you flew from the haystack towards the Amber?
A hundred times, you swore: “This time, I shall be dust.”
What if, just once, you kept your promise?
You’re but a hidden gem, veiled in earth and mud.
What if you washed the mud from your face, O beautiful one?
You’re the heir of that king—Gabriel fell prostrate before you.
What if you reclaimed your father’s kingdom, O destitute one?
O you who count the Friends of God as separate from God —
What if you held them in high esteem?
You are a part, lost from the whole; You’re like an arm severed from the body.
What if, from this moment on, you no longer separated yourself from Us?
What if you humbled yourself, devoid of arrogance and greed,
Then lifted your head to the Court of the Almighty?
Drink the wine of Remembrance to free yourself of all thoughts.
What if you did not turn your back in battle, O Murtaza?
Enough! You’re like a mountain—seek mines of gold within it!
What if you did not use the mountain merely to echo your own voice?
Ghazal No. 844
Translated by Seyed Meghdad Tabataba’i
Ancillary texts
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said: Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him’
Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 25, 40 Hadith Qudsi
Reflections
One of the key points mentioned in our sohbet was that God’s Friends (the Awliya Allah) are the true qibla. The purified soul, abiding in Allah, is the true prayer direction, in the sense that the Wali teaches us by word, deed and more importantly, state. We learn deeply about inward orientation from merely being in the presence of God’s beloved friends.
Another key point was that the purpose of prayer as an outward act is to lead us to continuous, ever-unfolding prayer. That is, du’a and the ritual prayer (salat) are to help generate in us a state of continual presence with God, of an unending communion with Hu. As such, this sohbet really connects with Julian of Norwich’s beautiful explorations of sin and prayer.
This sohbet has also helped me to understand the hadith qudsi above. In the past, it wasn’t clear to my heart how mention of God’s beloved friends connected with the path to God. As this sohbet unfolded it became clear that the connection is because the Awliya are our true, inward qibla. The Wali shows us how to achieve the love and union with Allah described so beautifully in this hadith.
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In this section, Julian explores prayer as a means of alignment with the Divine will. I find this a particularly beautiful section, with a strong sense of God’s lovingkindness. There are, of course, some important differences with the Islamic tradition. In particular, as is perhaps obvious, the understanding of beloved Jesus as God incarnate, and thus one to direct our prayers to. That said, however, there is much here to benefit an earnest seeker of God.
What prayers effects when in line with God’s will; God’s goodness delights in his deeds done through us, as though he were indebted to us; all things work sweetly.
‘Prayer unites the soul to God. However like God the soul may be in essence and nature (once it has been restored by grace), it is often unlike him in fact because of man’s sin. Then it is that prayer proclaims that the soul should will what God wills; and it strengthens the conscience and enables a man to obtain grace. God teaches us to pray thus, and to trust firmly that we shall have what we ask. For he looks at us in love, and would have us share in his good work. So he moves us to pray for what it is he wants to do. For such prayer and good will – and it is his gift – he rewards us eternally. And the word ‘and you do so pray’ shows all this. In it God takes as great pleasure and delight as if he were indebted to us for all the good we do. And yet it is he who actually does it! Because we pray earnestly that he should whatever he wills, it is as though he said, ‘What can please me more than to have you pray fervently, wisely, and earnestly to do what I am going to do?’ So does the soul by prayer conform to God.
But when our Lord in his courtesy and grace shows himself to our soul we have what we desire. Then we care no longer about praying for any thing, for our whole strength and aim is set on beholding. This is prayer, high and ineffable, in my eyes. The whole reason why we pray is summed up in the sight and vision of him to whom we pray. Wondering, enjoying, worshipping, fearing — and all with such sweetness and delight that during that time we can only pray in such ways as he leads us. Well do I know that the more the soul sees God, the more by grace does it want him.
But when we do not see him thus, we feel the more need to pray to Jesus because of our basic failure and incapacity. For when the soul is tossed and troubled and alone in its unrest, it is time to pray so as to make itself sensitive and submissive to God. Of course prayer cannot in any way make God sensitive to the soul: for this is what, in his love, he always is. And I realised, moreover, that when we know we have got to pray, then our good Lord follows this up, helping our desire. And when by his special grace we see him clearly, there is need of nothing further. We have to follow him, drawn by his love into himself. For I saw and knew that his marvellous and utter goodness brings our powers up to their full strength. At the same time I saw that he is at work unceasingly in every conceivable thing, and this is all done so well, so wisely, and so powerfully that it is far greater than anything we can imagine, guess, or think. Then we can do no more than gaze in delight with a tremendous desire to be wholly united to him, to live where he lives, to enjoy his love, and to delight in goodness. It is then that we, through our humble, persevering prayer, and the help of his grace, come to him now, in this present life. There will be many secret touches that we shall feel and see, sweet and spiritual, and adapted to our ability to receive them. This is achieved by the grace of the Holy Spirit, both now and until that time, still longing and loving, we die. On that day we shall come to our Lord knowing our self clearly, possessing God completely. Eternally ‘hid in God’ we shall see him truly and feel him fully, hear him spiritually, smell him delightfully, and taste him sweetly! We shall see God face to face, simply and fully. The creature, made by God, shall see and eternally gaze upon him, his Maker. But when by special grace he reveals himself here, he strengthens the creature above its natural capacity, and he adjusts the revelation as he wills, and as best serves the occasion’.
Revelations of Divine Love, 43