of love, life and living it up

UPDATE - JULY '09:

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wow. it's been a while since i was here. i thought about deleting this blog but i guess i'm attached to some of the things i have written. also, my vanity won't let me :-) anyhoo. new year, new blog, new attitude. check me out! let's hope i am better at keeping up with the new one.



i've been reading about the striking high schools with a little bit of deja vu. i swear, every time strikes happen the drugs are always to blame. or parents who let their kids indulge in television watching and are not tough enough on them. or those damn wazungu influenced people who banned caning. the chorus then goes "why, in my day (and seriously, this has got to be the most irritating part of the conversation) we smacked our lips in anticipation of the weevils cos that was our source of animal protein. when we got caned for misbehaving we smiled and said thank you and asked for more because we were bright enough to know it was for our own good. what are they complaining about anyways? ati what are those things they are striking about? salaaaleh! watoto wa siku hizi, they just don't know how good they have it."

maybe im a bit skewed in my thinking. after all, i went to secondary school in the era when it was fashionable to walk out of school and go to nation centre to air various grievances. while that solved nothing on the students end apart from giving footage to news cameras that would later be tsked tsked over on the evening news it didn't change anything either. instead of the question being why there were so many schools striking it was where these arrogant and spoilt teenagers were getting their bhang from.

if the post election violence should have taught us anything it should have been that it never helps to put a band aid over a problem and hope that it goes away. i wish instead of there being more lamentations about the good old days when children knew their place there would be more reflection on what needs to change in a system that has stayed the same for so long in a society that is changing. but si you know how we kenyans are? we do best when our heads are in the sand ignoring things and when we come up for a breather we go like "what? there are problems? stuff is happening and things are changing? in my day, blah blah blah .... " and then promptly put our heads back there.

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someone sent me the above after i told them how much i enjoyed watching chef! it's most definately being added to my netflix list since there is a dearth of things to watch on tv over the summer apart from reality shows.


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also, this has got to be one of the most pointless things i have ever read in the papers (at least, this week) i was torn between being horrified and extremely amused. all i could think was really? people are getting paid to write this? i have seen blogposts and drunken facebook ramblings more coherent than this article. damn, for real, i cant believe he got paid for that. does that mean i can get my pointless, meandaring blog ramblings published in a national paper and get a cheque? pretty please with sugar ontop? cos that would most definately get me out of my perpetual blog slump.

oh my goodness, the songs i used to listen to when i was younger. then, i would cut out/copy the lyrics from the sunday paper and memorise them. it's kinda almost sad how i still know all the words to most backstreet boys songs ...





it's amazing how this i remember, but my otherwise sieve like memory can't be bothered to remember other stuff that was supposed to matter back then. in hindsight, what seemed like my mother's overreaction to my song book (it had so many songss it looked like a phonebook and she was so scandalized to find the lyrics for "i'll make love to you") seems perfectly reasonable. ghc i couldn't retain long enough to get that 90% and above she wanted but i could recite song lyrics like it was my job, haha. not to mention



*i still shudder at the thought that i used t believe this song was the business back in the day*

to my credit, i can't remember the names of the members of groups like 5ive, boyzone and take that even though countless nights were spent drooling at posters of them and memorising their bios (what else was there to do during prep time and the weekends?)

even though i am accused of being a music snob at times (for the love of all that's cute and cuddly ENOUGH of that lollipop song by lil wayne, it's ok and all that but must it be on repeat 24/7?) i am not above bubble gum pop. there are some songs that will always make me smile.




and even though i am known for liking things that are so bad they are good others all you can do is shake your head and be left speechless.



maybe i'm just getting ols and i'm out of the loop on some of these things but wtf? anyway, more on that later.

sad to say, i think i would have been one of the gullible people asking where i could buy my very own spaghetti plant or seedlings even had i watched this back in the day ...



but this one? just brilliant. i couldn't stop laughing when he started talking about how they migrate to south america.



i stumbled upon this on a burst of light and the video left me in hysterics. it is so early nineties from the box (or punk if you want to feel down with it or whatever) haircuts to the lyrics. "i said YO! you crazy driver our lives are in your hands!"? true, yes. but the way it is said has me dying of laughter.



maybe because of my prolonged laughter at a video effort that should clearly be in some sort of museum where jimmi gathu's singing career and 5 alive are immortalised for posterity i now have soundbites from the song in my head like "mata-TEW driver keep your eyes off my bah-dee, mata-TEW driver keep your eyes on the roaaad" looping over and over and over. it may slowly drive me mad, but i'll be giggling all the way to the sanitarium.

... and i'm having a sense of de ja vu. like i was tagged before by the very same person and all that. oh well, here i go again i guess. it's been a while since i rambled incessantly on this blog and i've had a crap day which is still not yet over but whatever, a little procrastination will do my mind a whole lot of good right now.

Link to the person that tagged you. - Post the rules on your blog. - Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. - Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. - Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

1. when i was growing up i thought it just plain sucked that i was the youngest person in the house. with a multitude of adults and teenagers in the house all of them older than me i never got to do any of the cool things cos i was too young. or couldn't watch a whole bunch of movies or programmes cos i couldnt be trusted to keep my mouth shut about it. well, to their credit, they were right. one evening my parents came home and asked a seven year old me "so, spicebear, what were you up to today?" to which i replied "i saw naked people playing basketball on tv!!!" i learned later that my sblings and cousins got into a whole lot of trouble and thats why all future movies were screened to make sure there wouldnt be anything i could go open my big mouth about.

on the upside, i got to listen and do a whole lot of things i wouldn't have ordinarily done like go for jam session at age ten (i had learned to keep my mouth shut by then and i wondered what the big fuss was about) or love different types of music. i still have a soft spot for this gregory isaacs song cos my cousin used to listen to that KBC programme for reggae, i forget the name.



and of course, that song reminds me of this one by alpha blondy.



and of course, my parents love for all things country means that now there are songs i know by heart and love cos i heard them over and over hand over ...



2. i get along extremely well with toddlers and children. im a bit wary of babies cos, you know, they can't talk back when spoken to. i know, i know, i have been told that they don't bite and they don't cry all the time but man its sure frightens me when they do. don't get me wrong, they are cute, i just dont want to be left alone with them without supervision. god forbid i do something wrong and all i can think to do is ask them "please, for the love of al that's cuddly TELL ME what you want or what i did wrong" and then burst into tears. let me just hope that i don't think that all babies are like stewie griffin from family guy for always cos that would suck should i ever get my own.



haha, he is funny though.

3. my hair doesn't mean anything. specifically, my dreads don't. this seems to alternately disappoint people who want me to go all "i and i" on them or the purists who want it to be a back to the roots statement or something. really people, ni nywele tu. i was inspired when i was 18 by this girl at my church who had the most beautiful dreadlocks ever which she had dyed red. after talking to her for a while i decided i wanted my own and after the initial stage of looking like a drowned cat they turned out pretty ok. even after my mother claimed i would be mistaken for mungiki and my dad with his not so sublte hints about "blow drying my hair straight or whatever" so that it looks nice. but my parents are the first to stand up for me when someone says that i have a mischievious hairstyle which makes me go all awwww! cos i have awesome parents. even if they do say the darndest things.

~sidebar~ around the time i saw the girl with the awesome dreads i wanted a nose ring like nothing else. so, i asked my mother what she thinks about it and she and my aunt who was visiting proceeded to tell me that i will look like those cows at the agricultural show. you know, the ones that are paraded around with rings through their nose for best cow or whatever. for like 10 minutes they were both incredulous and amused before i was told no. since my mother hasn't seen my nose piercing yet, i wonder what she will say.

regardless of whether or notmy hair has a special meaning i still snap at people who just randomly touch my hair or ask me how i wash it. uhm, with shampoo maybe?



4. i am one of those people who loves news. and documentaries and such like things. even my mp3 player is full of what i am told is old people stuff like podcasts from the BBC and NPR. radio documentaries and news programmes especially fascinate me fr some reason. maybe its because i have spent many nights suffering from insomnia where i just lay in the dark and listen to stories about chimpanzee retirement homes where the chimps that spent alot of time in labs love to watch General Hospital in their old age. where else would i learn about the laughing epidemic that happened in tanzania in the early 60's? so i guess i will embrace my old person label and keep enjoying myself.

5. i am extremely talkative after acouple of drinks. ok, not only talkative but apparently i am an expert on everything when im tipsy. that can be seen in two ways - either im the mjuaji who should just stop talking for goodness' sake! or im the informative one and we can exchange information and our lives will just be awesomeness in itself because we indulge each other and give the other person a chance to shine. if you are still reading thus far, you can only pick number two, no ifs ands or buts about it.

6. apparently there is such a thing as knowing too much. and i have learned over and over that curiousity really did kill the cat and satisfaction was not worth coming back to life for. there are some things that you are just better off not knowing. like the way a few moths ago there was this video that was going round called "two girls one cup" (no im not linking to it. god knows i already have wierd searches that bring people to this blog) and cos i was to gross to put on mainstream sharing sites people put videos of them watching the afore mentioned video and reacting to all its yuckiness.

after watching reaction videos like this one ...



... ad infinitum you start to think that internet is full of folks who just cant handle the truth. i mean really, nothing is ever that bad, right? whats with all the screaming and jumping and cursing and whatever over a video that isnt even 5 minutes long?

well, i finally watched it. i didnt even make it to the one minute mark. im telling you now unless you have seen all the ... you know what? i wont even go into that. just say no. this is one battle scar you wont be proud of. you will learn that sometimes, its better to be blissfully ignorant than to be the one who has seen it all. nowadays im not even tempted to click those links in emails that say "do not click" out of curiosity. i've seen whats on the other side and it ain't pretty. i can now say that i have no desire to know everything and anything.

ok, i haven't been to this side of blogland in a while so i don't know who hasn't done this yet so i guess i will fall back on the old "if you read this and you have a blog and you haven't done this yet, consider yourself tagged". that's right, you are all it! go on and beat for us random stories.

let no one cheat you and say that the situation in kenya isn't because two groups of people are bent on getting their way no matter what.

i rarely discuss politics on this blog. this is usually a place for me to dump my random thoughts, rants and occasional music links but at this point, i am disgusted at the sentiments being expressed and the back and forth that goes on to the dertriment of the place i call home.

i won't go into the nitty gritty of what happened in terms of politics. there is much analysis to be seen all over the kenyan blogosphere and elsewhere and some of it way better than what i would come up with right now. the fact is that many kenyans feel cheated and rightly so - they had come to believe that their vote and the electoral process actually meant something and that the people would decide the fate of the country not a select few who for whatever reason feel that their egos are more important than 30 million plus citizens.

in the build up to the election i was rather ambivalent about who i would have chosen for the position of president had i had the chance to go back home and vote. to tell you the truth, both individuals looked abit unsavoury to me. so while the decion of who to vote in as my mp was pretty cut and dry the position of president on the other hand ... you see, the same individuals are being recycled over and over. it's not like i expect anyone, especially politicians, to be squeaky clean but man, neither candidate impressed me. however, a decision had to be made and it was. people came out and voted and were determined that their voice would be heard. the aftermath is what shocks and disgusts me to to the core.

i have tried more than once to blog about the violence i see being reported and that i hear about from back home. each time i was confused and overwhelmed, distracted by phone calls and sms' and one time by tears. i couldn't believe what i was seeing. after relatively peaceful elections there is chaos and tribal accusations being thrown back and forth.

before anything else, i would like to thank all those who shared their stories and kept us updated on what was going on through their blogs in whatever way,big or small. those of us far away from home needed (and still do) all the information that many gave us. in particular kenyan pundit, what an african woman thinks mentalacrobatics, thinker's room and others who i might neglect to mention right now (i'm sorry, it's really late).

now on to the vile things i have seen on the aggregator, in comment sections and elsewhere. i saw a post asking for people to go to war (from someone based in michigan of all places) comments declaring x tribe is this way and y tribe is to blame and people over here in some get togethers i went to saying that now is the time for combat. i am so disturbed, especially since i thought that at this point and during this crisis that people should know better than to utter such inflammatory things.

someone once told me that in a room of more than 20 people it is guaranteed that there will be a handful of idiots. we all know about the herd mentality so i won't even go into that. in the heat of the moment and in all the passion we have for our homeland let us not forget that these are actual human beings we are talking about. real people with real lives. they have family members, friends, hobbies, likes and dislikes, people they have loved and lost ... they are REAL. when you call for people to go to war or start making grandiose statements about how a certain tribe is ignorant/violent ama others need to be wiped off the face of the earth you'd best believe that the person who you wanted to be president or whatever won't be the ones facing gsu or watching their homes and livelihoods go up in smoke. they won't be wondering where to get food or whether it is safe to travel back home after having gone to various places to vote. they will be safe and sound with their security detail and their families far from harm. they have the means to leave the country if need be - majority do not. and shame on the cowards who are abroad and call for violence. you are not there to live through the terror and you dare thump your chest and ask people to hear you roar as you sit safe and sound? utter foolishness.

also, this maneno of saying certain tribes are predispositioned to violence and that others are selfish enablers has got to end. do you mean to tell me that there is some sort of gene that stops where one province stops and another one begins? different brain functions that in a relatively small country like kenya happened to split itself some 40 odd ways to make us all different? we have got to stop getting swept away into believing all the stereotypes that are now being exercebated by a few for their gain. this is not sketch comedy ama those lame jokes that have been recylced for years. this is a case of hooligans and thieves taking advantage of the uncertainty that is there right now. uncertainty that is being caused by a bunch of people who, let's face it, have shown us time and again that they consider themselves numero uno (yes, i am talking about both sides. show me one new person there who in the past has shown themselves to be totally selfless and sincerly put themselves at the service of kenyans) and that they are willing to put an entire country into jeopardy to prove it.

let us not forget that fighting (and supporting it) will take us nowhere. the looting, the killing, the tribalistic overtones will only go to ensure that we don't have a country to call home anymore, a place to be safe and carry on with our lives and for some of us to come back home to. empty rhetoric that puts all our loved ones at risk is something that saddens and angers me and right now, i seem to be hearing alot of that and it's drowning out the voices of reason. all i can do right now is ask people to think before they speak and act and to pray that things will turn around.

it really is. especially if you are staring at something that half the population of the world has.

granted i have never understood what the big deal about breasts is but then again, that's not my thing. appreciation is nice but when someone is like oh my god, boobies! hurray, look at those breasteses and twenty other such like comments it can be a little irritating. okay ALOT irritating. what's funny is that these kind of morons are always the kind to tell you that you have tits, like you didn't know. like they were watered in the shower and you somehow missed the fact that they had grown when you were getting dressed. ama something spontaneously combusted within you on your way to wherever and you couldn't possibly be aware what you had breasts. you must be told cos, you know, maybe they weren't there when you went to sleep the night before. really people, manners are important!

i have never personally anyone that was swept off her feet by an unoriginal ode to her breasts. yes, unoriginal. stupid people are many in this world so chances are she has heard many variations of whatever you are trying to pass of as a pick up line. on that note, anecdotes on how there was this one chile who was all a-flutter because you told her she has nice "jugs" or whatever will be ignored. if dudes are always complaining how women expect them to act like characters from romance novels and soaps then please don't be shocked when all women are not a manifestation of whatever men's magazine you read or song you listen to. it's common sense really.

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i seem to have alot of pent up aggression this week. so i'm listening to music to calm down and instead i'm gravitating towards the kind of stuff that would work best in a mosh pit. i am too much of a chicken to actually hit anyone (i'm one of those people who has never been in a physical fight. i've come close but never quite gotten there) so maybe subconsciously i'm mentally gravitating towards moshing cos i know if someone, anyone hits me i'll come out swinging. though i have been informed that what i listen to is not hard core enough (hey there K. see? i listen when you tell me these things!) the music that was recommended was a bit too much for me to handle. i may give it another shot if my ear drums are up for it. sigh. the mosh pit songs are below. me, i will be counting down the hours till happy hour ...

Riot - Three Days Grace


Bleed It Out - Linkin Park


Last Resort - Papa Roach


Headstrong - Trapt

i read an article on christian domestic discipline and for real i thought i was reading an article from "the onion". the whole "wives, submit to your husband" verse (which, in my experience, is usually quoted without the verse that comes after it and no reference to other submission verses) makes me roll my eyes. when someone evokes it, they usually tend to mean that the man should be the center of the woman's world, that she should not question the fact that his word is law and is final or is some twisted version of 'children should be seen and not heard' for adults.

lord knows i have tried to keep an open mind about it. far be it for me to meddle in something that both the husband and wife say is consensual but i just don't get it. to me, it seems like it is infantilising the woman. if i were to get married some day and i did something wrong, why wouldn't talking it through and apologising be enough? why does the spanking have to take place? also, if a man does something wrong why i can't i spank him as a deterrent or lesson or whatever the said purpose is? marriage is supposed to be a two way street, right?

when i got to the part about "maintenance spanking" i just couldn't believe it. how many times have you heard people tell stories about being spanked by their parents for real or imagined faults? how in the world did that translate into something that a husband must do in order to keep his wife in line? after all, she is an adult not an eight year old.

when i sent a friend of mine the link the first thing she asked if i was sure that there were no safe words involved. for all the talk of a true christian romance and heroism (which immediately made me think of this guy for some reason) i do not associate that with a beating for discipline's sake. it's a difficult concept to accept, especially since in my experience and in listening to others talk about domestic violence it's usually an amalgamation of "i bought her with bride price", "she deserved it", "she is my property", "wives, submit to your husbands" and a whole bunch of other reasons that in my mind canot explain away the abuse.

by the way, the site linked to in the article now requires a password to log in to everything apart from the home page. i'm guessing a they had a whole lot of angry people going over there.

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i never learnt to make chapos for some reason or the other. a couple of weeks ago, i suddenly had the urge to make some. now, i tend to have an impulse and then follow right through with it. the 'must.do.NOW!' attitude has gotten me in hot water and/or made me wonder later why i even bothered. it does have it's upside though. i learnt to make muffins one night when i had insomnia and i was thinking that since i had all the ingredients i might as well google a recipe and make some for breakfast and help pass the time. another time i was reading something, i don't even know what and "beer bread" jumped out at me and when i found a recipe and some beer in the fridge i went right to work.

i don't even know why i was so determined to make chapos. i just knew that i must. or what, i'm not sure, i usually don't think that far. first off, trying to google a recipe and then trying to pick one was an adventure. then this whole kneading business - there need to be more instructional videos on that. i wasn't sure if i should massage the ingredients or punch them. then, as i was leaving the dough to rise it occured to me that maybe self raising flour couldnt be used as a substitute for all purpose flour. i shrugged it off thinking flour, schmlour, potatoe, potato and all that. si it will rise all the better? ok, on to the rolling part. since i didn't have a rolling pin (by the by, please note that all questions asking what i used as a substitute will not be answered, m'kay? i was in the moment and i would've ruined it by going to the store to get one. what is important is that i own one now) getting the chapos to look like a duara was a challenge. who decided that the circle is the all and end all of chapati shape? one day, i told myself, i was going to go all out. chapo shaped like stars, rainbows and cute kittens is what i would make and have for dinner but at that moment amoeba shaped chapati would be just awesome.

of course, i knew that i sounded ridiculous. i was so sure this would not end well and that all that would've been accomplished is alot of time laughing at myself and lots of fun would have been had. cos really, chapo shaped like a kitten? in the end, the chapo was actually good enough to eat. it didn't stop the laughter from others though. you know, you think people are your friends until you tell them how you made chapo with no rolling pin, a spatula and self raising flour then they tell others about it and it becomes the funniest thing ever. others tried to be nice, ati there are ready made chapos at the indian shop. it's not like the ones who laughed the most would've taught me. there is a pal of mine who was told to watch pasta as it cooked cos her cousin was stepping out for a bit and she managed to burn not only the pasta but the pot it was cooked in.

so, learning to make chapati: take two went well. they didn't look like amoeba but they weren't round either. with a little bit of practice i might learn to make really good ones. as long as no one expects me to make them for their parties or whatever. there are only two scenarios that can happen, both of them worst case. one is that mine will be the chapos no one eats and everyone is forced to carry home because of the "woishe, lakini alijaribu" factor or that i will have people being nice to me all of a sudden and then discover its cos there is a graduation/baby shower/birthday party/we just want to get together about to go down and they want you to cook something and lots of it cos you must account for the gate crashers, the people who must have one big very doggy bag and those who tag along with those invited. no thanks, i'll stick to bringing 6 packs/bottles of whatever and offering to help clean up.

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i am absolutely loving mad men on amc. so nice to have something to watch over summer instead of those singing reality shows and reruns. it's my new addiction.