Iâm a gay man in my fifties, comfortable in my skin, but I suffered severe bullying throughout school, which was often abetted by teachers. A recent class reunion prompted me to write a tell-all letter to the current school director regarding that trauma. His gracious response was incredibly healing.
My family has accepted me since I came out in my 20s, but they donât know the full extent of my ordeal. While I shared the letter with my supportive brother, Iâve hesitated to show it to my parents, who are in their 70s. They claim ignorance (âWe didnât know you were suffering!â, âYou never told us you were gay!â), yet they acknowledged long ago that I was âdifferentâ from toddlerhood, and they often criticized my âun-boyishâ behavior when I was a child.
To give you one concrete example: some older kids called me a gay slur when I was seven. I asked my mother what it meant. I can still vividly picture her shock and horror. So they knew I was gay but never initiated a conversation with me about it, and I was too ashamed to speak up back then. Since writing to the school, I feel an urge to finally have a âwarts and allâ talk with my parents to understand their perspective. Should I open Pandoraâs box with my elderly parents now, or leave things be for the sake of family peace? What is the best approach to having this conversation? Thank you in advance for your perspective.
Pandoraâs Box Opener
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