BLACK MEN- I love the confidence of black men and their physique. They are almost never too timid to express their thoughts

Yummy

and feelings even if it is a blunt “Damn girl! You’re cute!” At least you know they dig you or not. They are so laid back, fresh, and absolutely hilarious. I have never in my life met an uptight black man. Last but not least their sex is UH-MAY-ZING! They lay it down well in the bedroom… freaks… love it. What’s the problem? The attractive ones smoke too much fucking weed. Yes, I can tell you smoke weed (bitch!) because your lips are as blue as a blueberry. Worst of all they are all cheaters. They will tell you they are single but they have a girlfriend (poor thing!) The crazy part is they will spend the time and money to wining and dining you and pretending they are single. Shit! I think they start to believe they are single until their girlfriends start blowing up their phones with text messages and phone calls. Hunnie, your man was with me! 99.9% of them cheat. If you are shaking your head then let me tell you one thing…your man was banging my back out last night, love.

Mmmm

WHITE MEN- Attractive, generous and very polite. Too fucking polite! Do white men ever start conversation or even  approach a lady without needing to be drunk? White men need to be drunk to even have the fucking balls to say a simple “Hi” to a girl. Very sad. The sex? Meh. The good sex comes from the athletic ones who work out. Your average white guy just sticks it and pumps. Really? I think a dildo can do a better job. Really. White men cheat as most guys do but are not chronic cheaters like black men. Black men will fuck anything with a big booty even if the face is ugly. White men have more standards.

End of Rant.

Sincerely,

Sometimes it be Like That

Morons, why can’t you just approach a female in public and say “Hi” and open a little conversation? Why can’t you smile and say “Hi” at Starbucks? Why can’t you ask us how our workout is going at the gym or what we are listening to on our iPods? Why can’t you give at least an obvious sign of interest when you are sober? That is why you idiots run off to Craigslist and post in the “Missed Connections” board searching for that cute interesting lady that you didn’t have the balls to approach at the Metro Station or gym. Good luck finding her, fools. It would have been much easier approaching her than jerking off at night and waiting for that Craigslist response that will never appear in your inbox.

Now you are hiding behind a screen. The internet and online dating has become your comfort zone; your crutch. When you spot a cute girl and you’re sober you just stare, think of all of the dirty things you want to do to her and move on thinking “eh I will just find a girl like her online later tonight.” Fuck you match.com. Fuck you, too, OKcupid.com eHarmony you can also screw yourself.

Have fun fishing in the ocean of online dating websites. Enjoy sifting through the souped up profiles of 98% of girls who yap about being foodies and are 100% into themselves. By the way, they do not look as pretty in person as they do in the profiles. Take that facts. As down to earth as they try to come off in their mile long profile, they will fuck you over. Learn how to differentiate between real profiles and fake ones if you insist on making online dating sites your go-to for dating, sex, jerking off, whatever.

Sincerely,

SIBLT

Sometimes it be Like That

Real texts from mystery person from just the past 24 hours:

“if u want to meet me I will give u the best dick u ever had” No thanks motherfucker. I can get the best in a phone call.

“u need to loosen up and start rubbing your pussy” Really?

“send me a pic of your feet” 

“show me your pussy” What part of “fuck off and stop texting” does this person not understand?

“go somewhere that u can get comfortable and rub it” Who is this bitch to tell me where to go and what to do? I take no sexual orders from perverted, psychotic strangers… er… most likely a girlfriend of someone I fucked/am fucking. Oops Guys, if you cannot keep your cheating under wraps then please do not do it. Duh.

“do u want me to stop texting u do u like it” For the millionth time FUCK OFF.

“bye” Good riddance but unfortunately this person keeps coming back.

“text me” ugh

“can I call you” 

“u are an angry person” “Fuck off pervert” is actually nice. I could be mean.

“u need to have some fun” My fun is from my fuck buddy’s good dick… not some mystery person sexting me perverted messages. Duh.

“I am just horny I have no psychological issues” PSYCHO if you are texting a stranger sexual messages, saying you will stop but you start up again after 2 minutes. FREAK.

“U probably are a nice girl” I sure am. That is why I think this person knows me or knows someone who knows me and is fucking with me.

“sorry to bother u” Yeah yeah yeah… you apologize now but start up again after a couple minutes. Lunatic.

C’est la vie!

Sincerely,

SIBLT

Sometimes it be Like That

As I am trying to beat around traffic this fool was texting me nonstop knowing I am driving and on my way.

“Have you been thinking dirty things all day?” No shit. I think like a guy and I probably think filthier than a guy.

“How wet is your pussy right now?” Just shut the fuck up and wait 10 more minutes until I get there to find out.

“What do you want to do to me?” Patience is a virtue, sugar.

“I love when you suck my cock. You do it so well. It’s so amazing.” Yeah, I know, bitch but thanks for feeding my ego.

My one-word answers didn’t give him the hint that I was trying to drive? Well, ignoring his texts until he got a knock knock was the only solution. I think driving safely to get to his house in one piece is more important than knowing how wet my pussy is. In the mean time guys, shut the fuck up and wait for it. Please and thank you.

Sincerely,

SIBLT

Sometimes it be Like That

Why will no one respond to my sexts? I need sex.