Truth is a Matter of Perspective

Why do I always seem to have issues centered around the use of the restroom? Fuck "The Meaning of life" this question should be answerable - to say the least.

Today I was on one of my usual pitstops - cavorting in front of the urinal - when an unexpected occurrence beset me. The rundown is as follows:

"Oh man! I need to drain the vein I'll meet you in the smoke hole in a few"

I make my way to the land of release.

Job done.. Taking care not to give more than 2 shakes (anymore than that is a wank).

Stuff the dangly bits back in.

This is where things go from fine to horribly wrong. As I was zipping up my pants the fly on my boxers somehow stayed outside of the zipper hole when I tucked everything back in. I came to the realization of this when I started the zipper on its upward path and half way towards its goal it stopped as if it hit a dead end.

"Huh?" I take a look down and see that my zipper has gone across the cloth and it is now so tangled that I cannot lower it back down to complete tucking in my drawers.
To sum it all up I am now standing there with my pants half zipped, the zipper having pulled part of the fly on my boxers into its teeth. On direct examination everyone that I would be walking in front of would be able to see my willy.

"Fuck!"

The following action is me desperately grabbing the crotch of my pants with one hand, while the other grabs the zipper in a forceful "Please God fix this mess" manner.

I have been alone during this entire episode, and I'll be Damned if at the exact moment I get so frustrated that I turn around at the same time the cleaning man enters. I don't know if he got to view the goods because I ducked my head and acted like I never saw him.

He stands there a moment, and then leaves.

I start jumping around again.

Up, Down.
Up, Down.
Up, Down.

"For the Love of God, and all that is Holy!"

Just as I am about to give up the material pulls free, and I take care on my next tuck action that nothing interferes with the natural upward progression that a zipper is supposed to make during normal use.