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HTTP/2 200 server: nginx date: Sat, 31 Jan 2026 09:53:18 GMT content-type: text/html; charset=UTF-8 vary: Accept-Encoding x-hacker: Want root? Visit join.a8c.com/hacker and mention this header. host-header: WordPress.com link: ; rel="https://api.w.org/" vary: accept, content-type, cookie link: ; rel=shortlink content-encoding: gzip x-ac: 3.bom _dca MISS alt-svc: h3=":443"; ma=86400 strict-transport-security: max-age=31536000 server-timing: a8c-cdn, dc;desc=bom, cache;desc=MISS;dur=555.0 Secular Wings | I have zero expectation that anything I ever say will end someone’s belief in their God. Not my goal or purpose. That alone belongs to the individual. ~ Zoe

Secular Wings, Christianity, Trauma Talk, conspiracy, QAnon and others, The Unknown Journey

Cults & Christianity

January 30, 2026 ... Zoe ~ 1 Comment

Religious &/or spiritual belief doctrines of good vs. evil/ the end-times.

I use to read about cults. Always from a Christian point of view. Christianity, truth. All others, not truth and likely cultic. I remember the day I thought, wait, this is all kind of “out there” and couldn’t one say, it was cultic too? It certainly had some weird beliefs going on. Angels and demons. Heavenly beings. Core of the earth beings. Lots of do’s and don’ts. Earthly punishment as well as Eternal punishment. Hero’s and sinners. Mystery, miracles, peace and power. Each having their own texts or writing of some sort. Many patriarchal. The list of similarities quite long. If we are looking at “them” and thinking, wow, that’s nuts, wouldn’t “they” be thinking the same about us?

Each claim “the” truth. Each claiming special knowledge and human grandiosity because of “the” truth. Each placing themselves, above the others. Each aiming for unity. There is no plurality when you have “the” truth. You are safe here as long as you don’t remove your robe of superiority.

Blogging, Healing, Personal Recovery, Salvation Seasons, Secular Wings, The Unknown Journey, Trauma Talk

Streak # 8

January 29, 2026 ... Zoe ~ Leave a comment

WordPress is telling me I’m on a 7 day posting streak. LOL! I should let them know not to get too excited. I’m basically not on search engines and it is up to the search engines to honour my request.

I come and go. I think this blog is about 15 years old. They sent me an anniversary note in 2025 I think. Before that, I was here, on my ACS blog for quite some time.

When up to it, I am still reviewing old posts. I enjoy the comments on them too. This really is a long history of all sorts of Zoe stuff. I owe Zoe a lot. She came into my life at a pivotal moment of addressing trauma. A part of me that gave me freedom to get in touch without fear, of my truth. Of my story. I don’t have multiple personality disorder. I purposely chose the name because it meant “Life” in Greek and way back when I needed to separate myself from the trauma of my given name, until I healed in that regard.

I was sharing with someone recently, that writing is lonely. I tried to explain myself. It is lonely if you consider that those who might benefit from reading it, don’t. But then I remember, when I first started all this, way back before WordPress, it was about me and if it helped one other person along the way, it was worth it.

Gardens, Healing, Personal Memoirs, Personal Recovery, The Unknown Journey, Trauma Talk

Sandy Bumps

January 28, 2026 ... Zoe ~ Leave a comment

I can feel the sandbar beneath my young feet. An unexpected moment this morning as I sit here before the sun rises or the snow continues. I allow myself to just remember that feeling. Of my curiosity as to how that happens and what is a sandbar and how is it way out here so far from shore. Is this safe?

It’s a fleeting moment really. But a happy one full of wonder. I felt safe probably because I was far from shore. If only I could stay here and not go back.

I was around 60 years of age when it suddenly occurred to me that I had to embrace me, despite the trauma, in spite of my pain and fake it until I make it as I use to teach in aerobics. For my birthday, we went shopping for a rose bush. I needed something that spoke to me and to help me remember this moment. I found it in the Love and Peace rose. Almost ten years later, it continues to give life, love, peace and remembrance.

A few years later, my therapist helped me understand that I am safe. It wasn’t an easy “get” to tell you the truth. She didn’t say: Look Zoe, you are safe. It didn’t happen like that. She let me come to it on my own. She allowed me to realize, OMG, I’m safe! I’m safe and have been safe but my mind, my body, my heart didn’t know it. I had been waiting for the people back on shore to find their own safety, believing if they could just get there, then I’d finally be safe too. All those years of waiting.

Personal Memoirs, The Unknown Journey

Just six

January 27, 2026 ... Zoe ~ 2 Comments

We were six year old evangelists for our religions. My friend was Jewish. Me, Christian. We didn’t know anything different. We certainly did not choose it. We were who we were. Born into it and knew nothing other than it.

I remember playing in the basement with her. I think we may have had on our roller skates. We got to comparing our faiths. Jesus is God. Jesus is a prophet but not God. Fascinating. Short conversation but at six we knew the basics. :)

Many years ago, I had a nightmare. My family, was in two long lines. The men were being separated from the women. Girls went with moms. Boys went with dads. As the lines separated out into a Y I looked at them as they walked away. Heavily grieving, I knew instinctively that I would never see them again. I knew we were dead.

I once asked my grandfather if we had any Jewish ancestors. He simply said, it is possible. Now, I don’t know if that is true, the possibility, but he was raised Unitarian Universalist and seemed to accept everyone. He didn’t seem like he was uncomfortable at all.

Recently, I was talking with a friend, who shared with me her Jewish ancestry. The family was doing research and found this hidden truth. I say, “hidden” because she had learned that many Jewish people hid the truth, changing their names, in order to fit in and avoid persecution. This is what happened in her story. No one ever caught on until all these years later. I shared how I had asked my grandpa about possible Jewish ancestry. Then I shared how I had asked my two aunts if they had ever heard of Jewish ancestry. They hadn’t and they were a bit shocked that grandpa had answered, possibly. My friend then said, well, that was often the response. People hid it. That’s the point. Why would the aunts know?

I’ve always been horrified by the holocaust.

Blue Gown Moments, Personal Memoirs, The Unknown Journey

Walking on water

January 26, 2026 ... Zoe ~ 2 Comments

Before I knew it, I’m being asked to advocate on behalf of the O.R. nurses. I’m the junior nurse, and they are asking me? All I could think is, if you are willing to put up with that, it’s on you. I’m looking out for me and what I can control. I’m a baby really. In my early 20’s. I’ve been there for three months!

Every day the boss walked into the lounge and would assign one of the coffee drinkers, to make the coffee. I was not a coffee drinker. I watched this song and dance for around three months, when the devil that got ahold of me, spoke up and said to the boss: Do you get up every morning and ask your wife to make your coffee?

Okay, did the oxygen just leave the room? I thought the nurses were going to die and need resuscitation.

I sat there with my feet up. Didn’t move. Didn’t blink. And, he made the coffee. From that day on, being a coffee drinker himself, he became part of the coffee drinker-maker rotation.

No wonder the nurses thought I walked on water.

Blue Gown Moments, Personal Memoirs, The Unknown Journey

When it hits the fan

January 25, 2026 ... Zoe ~ Leave a comment

As the surgeon reached for an instrument and found it wasn’t immediately available, he turned on the O.R. Tech. She stood still. He yelled for them. It wasn’t her fault they were unavailable, immediately. They were on the shelf. As the circulating R.N. (in charge) I quickly threw them up onto the sterile table. He continued to verbally harass the technician.

I finally (being in charge at that moment of the O.R. environment) told him it wasn’t her fault and to stop blaming her. He replied, I don’t give a F*** who’s at fault. I said: I will not tolerate your abuse. As I walked out to hail the Supervisor, just outside the doors, the surgeon said: I don’t give a F***. So, I reported the incident to the Supervisor and told him I’ll be in the lounge and will return when he’s cleaned up the mess.

Well, the sh** hit the fan as I put my feet up for a rest. This surgeon despised the Supervisor (who is the one that would never allow the instruments to be opened until asked for.). And, the Supervisor couldn’t stand this surgeon.

After the two cleaned up their mess, I returned to the O.R. as if nothing had happened. It’s interesting looking back. This very surgeon once asked me why I was different than the other nurses. I didn’t bother asking for clarification. The other nurses were abundantly submissive. It was based on survival. I simply responded to him that it’s because I knew they were not God.

When I finally resigned due to ongoing health problems, I spent my last weekend on call with this surgeon. In an uncharacteristic moment, as I was assisting him on a minor surgery, he apologized to me for his behaviour. Admitted that he was wrong and wondered what I was going to do now and would I be back. I told him I’d like to get my degree and come back to be in charge. He didn’t know my reason for leaving. He then suggested I not waste my time with the nursing degree and do medicine. Pre-med, then med. I had already known that they thought I was doctor material but a part of me wasn’t sure that was a compliment. And, I told him so. He sighed, somewhat humbled. Despite the desire, to return to school, my health and family life needed me here.

conspiracy, Politics, QAnon and others, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

Ice cold

January 24, 2026 ... Zoe ~ 3 Comments

A play on words?

We have our own MAGA here in Canada. Often referred to as Maple Maga. We also have MAHA as well. I wonder, do we have our own Project 2025? Or, are we (those of the MAGA group), riding on the backs of the U.S. project. I believe there is political cross over for sure.

As I observe the brave people of Minnesota, standing up to ICE literally freezing in ice-cold temps, I wonder, what is happening behind the scenes with Project 2025? It marches on, advancing behind the scenes.

I woke up this morning remembering the church constitution in one of the churches I use to attend. It seems to me, in hindsight, that it, in and of itself, even back then, was its own Project 2025.