Yikes! When Disaster Strikes…


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I need to stand in the corner with the dunce cap!

Yesterday I did a really dumb thing. Because I only had the ‘free’ form of WordPress, as I am starting out again, my data load for media and such is only 3GB. That isn’t really very much, especially since I already have a media file that has my photos from the past–or at least I think so. So, I figured I would test the waters before I simply bought a plan, me being the cheapskate that I am, and since I am not getting a whole lot of traction thus far, I decided to rid myself of some photos from the media library to make more room.

Yes, I did see the message, the very strong message btw, that reminded me that the photos would be permanently deleted if I removed them. I know, I know, but I began doing it anyway. Maybe it was the bad day I was having? A $1500 car bill, someone important in my life retiring (yes, good for him, but maybe not great for me in some ways)…yada yada. Right in the middle of a bunch of pages, me happily clicking away (and not seeming to gain much space anyway), it hit me like a gaggle of geese landing on my head: OH NO! I wonder if this will remove the photos from my posts??? You, I’m sure, know the answer.

Right around the time my pea brain was thinking this calamitous thought, a friend and faithful follower emailed me. And, you guessed it, asked: where are the photos from the latest post? They didn’t show up? The color drained from my face and my heart hit my heels… It really was a bad day after all, and I caused this part!

So, I’ve spent much of last night and today trying to recreate all the posts since I started up my blog again. It was during Tai Chi that I realized I could find most of the photos on Google photos, because I usually erase many from my ‘gallery’ area on my phone. When my brain was calm, this thought helped me to relax. And I found out that WordPress can connect to Google photos also! Ahhh, this was good news. Admittedly it took me a while to figure out how to fix it all…But I did it. And now I am working on older posts from 2019, where the photos have disappeared also.

This all spurred me to take the plunge and buy a personal account too. It’s cheap enough. I almost did the premier…but not yet. I only have a handful of faithfuls, so I’m not ready. But I will slowly update this old baby and maybe gather my peeps back. It’s still ok because I love doing it, even when I mess it up. At least it gives me something to write about!

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Not Tai Chi, but close enough. Still relaxing!

Recycling…


While I am vegan, I’m sure some animal rights activists might disagree with me about certain beliefs I hold. I haven’t eaten meat in almost 50 years, nor do I hunt or would I want to do so. But, that being said, I don’t disagree with certain people making use of hunting skills, if (this is a BIG if) they do so with respect and dignity to the animal. Many indigenous people, or native people from different lands, make good use of their local species, using all of the animal to provide for themselves. They do so with honor and keeping in mind the total ecosystem, unlike the original settlers, who eventually wiped out so many species of this country, and, in doing so wiped out food supplies for all local species, including the humans. Those humans who were aware of the delicate balance between man and the interconnected web of which we are a part, understood that as we stand high on the food chain, we should be careful and cognizant how easily it could be torn apart. And once broken, it often cannot be repaired. So, if one chooses to eat meat, they should do so with reverence and care, remembering the long line of energy that goes into creating the animal.

I met a man today while waiting to have my car repaired. He was a different kind of human when it came to showing the holiness of the creatures that walk this earth with us. So many get killed inadvertently due to our lifestyles, on roads because of traffic as they cross to get back to their dens and hidey holes. Some are large, some are small. It might be a back country road, or a giant highway where many pass, a long ago trail way, that all sort of animals walked, but now is sliced by a concrete divider. Millions are killed each year on our roads, often causing accidents–I was in one myself, avoiding a deer who jumped out in front of my car and dashed to the other side of the road. The deer was fine, as I careened over an embankment and rolled my car a few times and landed on the roof, totaling the car and myself. The recovery was long and painful, and I couldn’t understand why the deer picked me, a sworn vegan? But so it goes.

Luckily, many places now build special walkways for these animals to cross safely. You see them…it’s quite amazing. All sorts going over or under major highways. It seems they forget that they might be a predator, or prey. They simply need to get to the other side. And for the ones that don’t make it, well, there are folks like the man I met. They gather the roadkill, and if it isn’t too destroyed, they create. Some use their taxidermy skills on the animals they find to make art or clothing. If the ecosystem hasn’t done its job too well yet (the scavengers like the turkey vultures or bugs), then these humans play their part to help clean up the environment. See for yourself… It was a freezing day here in New England, but this man wasn’t cold at all! He took a tip from the old settlers and made something to keep himself warm. What do you think? Would you wear it? I was quite impressed. This creature will live forever now thanks to him, and its death wasn’t for nothing.

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If Only…


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Martin Luther King, Jr., three-quarter-length by libraryofcongress is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

If only I was old enough to have been there that day
If only what he said would come true today
If only he could have lived long enough
If only the world wasn’t so tough
If only peace was the path
If only humans didn’t show their wrath
If only non-violence was the choice
If only love was our loudest voice
If only he was here right now
If only fate would have allowed
If only love could prevail
We would not fail

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“We have flown the air like birds and swum the sea like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of
walking the earth like brothers.” MLK


Warmth


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Photo by Nuh Isa El Carillo on Pexels.com

I guess I’m a person that needs lots of warmth, both physically and emotionally. It seems like the Universe always tests us though, and life becomes the grounds for learning about our needs. Nothing is ever handed to us, then how would we deepen and grow as a person. If, as a human who loves emotional closeness from those near to me, simply received it all the time, maybe it wouldn’t be as sweet when I did? I’m not sure. But it does seem like emotionally cool people are often in my circle, flickering to my flame. And sometimes this can feel like it sucks the oxygen out of my fire.

The world does this to me too. It always has, and always will, especially in these trying times. I cannot shut the world out. While I can limit the sound of the others who are out there, living, breathing, doing the best they can under the circumstances–I cannot, nor do I want to shut out completely my fellow humans. I share this planet with them…so far. I am not a hermit. Not yet anyway. And while I still live among others, I feel their pain, their lives rubbing up against mine. Those that can live in a bubble–I do not understand how one can compartmentalize their lives while they go about walking next to the rest of us. It’s just not something I fathom. It protects them from seeing something they may not want to I suppose, but that is just the point: wearing blinders as we walk through the world shows us only a limited perspective.

So, I choose to see it all, feel it all, hear it all, even if it hurts. It is hard to sort through what is real these days, and that is a sad thing. That hurts in, and of itself. But not looking at all, not being warm, choosing to be cool in a world that’s on fire–that seems the most painful thing of all.

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Monks walking for peace

Gifts


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The Gift

For those of you who know the rift that had existed between my oldest daughter and me for some time, I share this quick post. Recently I received an unexpected package in the mail. She had asked for my mailing address recently, and I figured it was to send a thank you note for helping out with some unexpected costs incurred during her difficult child birth experience. I’m always happy to do such things, as my mother, her grandma, was also generous in this way with me (and us). But instead, I got a package from UPS late one night from her.

I was very excited to open it, as I don’t receive much from my kids. It’s fine, they are busy and I don’t need much either. I’ve always impressed upon them that there are other ways besides ‘things’ that are important to give, although, admittedly, I’m a big gift giver myself. Usually I give homemade or recycled things–items that were precious to me. It’s rare that I buy something, but on occasion, I do.

When I opened the box, inside was a card, with incredibly beautiful sentiments, thanking me for all I’ve done recently. The acknowledgement meant the world to me. It’s easy for me to feel forgotten and disregarded in general, it’s my internal history, but especially when it comes to her. So this was such a blessing. Inside was a wrapped gift that contained a book filled with photos, pulled from the app they use to post all the pictures of my grand kids and some of them as a family. It brought me to tears. For sure, I’m the sentimental one of my two daughters and me–those gals being more reticent, at least to me anyway. This window into their world showed me something I don’t often get to see of my daughter, a softer side, the motherly side, the grown up woman shining her love on her family. It was incredibly beautiful.

When I thought about how she took the time, amidst the chaos of giving birth, being hospitalized after it, having guests in and out, having a newborn, having a two year old…recovering, yet still taking the time to send me this gift, I was touched. It almost meant more than the gift itself. The inscription in the book (which is something I always do when I give a book to someone), was so warm too, yet another sign that we are mending.

I sent her a card to let her know just how much it meant to me so she would have something tangible to read someday. And I will keep the card she sent inside the book. Today her sister and my ex are flying to visit them all. I’m melancholy that it’s not me, but my time will come, because like the note said: she is looking forward to me meeting my grandson and for me to get to know my granddaughter better and spend more time with her.

Me too.

Fly Like An Eagle


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Just with my phone, but outside my window….
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On this windy day, which was not as warm as I expected, the eagle has returned. And with it, my continued strength and confidence. Birds have long been my power animals, and I have particularly felt that hawk and hummingbird were my two closest. But since living near this amazing river, I’ve become quite attached to eagle. It’s quiet and elegant power, which seems to be used only when necessary, is something to be admired. I’ve witnessed it soaring solo, and also seeming to play with its mate while teaching their eaglet the way of the world. It’s been a delight.

I guess I understand at least one thing about America, and that’s why the eagle is our national bird. I can see why it must have been chosen so long ago. Its majesty, farsightedness, and longevity of their relationships inspired those who understood what it would represent.

And so, fast forwarding to another great frontier and American who believed that humans could go anywhere, Buzz Aldrin so famously said, “Tranquility Base here, the Eagle has landed,” just before that first step for mankind…

Peace.

Learning Cultural Tolerance Through Experiences


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Language Day 2011PRESIDIO OF MONTEREY by U.S. Army is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

During this time of cultural unrest and inhumanity in my country of America, I still believe the best way to cultivate togetherness is by practicing immersion. If we immerse ourselves directly in the cultures of others through their food, stores, practices, stories, families and the everyday things they do, then we can see that they are just like us, and may have gifts to teach us.

I’m currently learning Tai Chi on the internet. I came to it because of my injury and find it incredibly helpful and relaxing. Years ago I used to poo-poo it as not aerobic enough for me, because I felt everything I did had to get my heart rate up to the point where I could barely breath. Now I see how foolish this was, and, in the long run, how it ended up hurting me. These slow, more intense movements, that include balance and awareness, can be just as challenging and are much easier on this old body. I’m hooked and can’t wait to advance. I secretly always wished I had become a dancer, and this feels so much like dancing…it’s lovely.

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Colorful chutnies
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My favorite Asian (Indian) market has new taste adventures

As a non-meat eater for almost 50 years, one of the first things I do when I move somewhere new is look for a cultural market of some type. They generally will sell the freshest vegetables, plus they often have the most interesting food sources and best prices! I have found they are family owned for the most part, departing from the mega-chains like Wal-mart, so I feel very good about spending my money at them. The folks are friendly, remember me every time I go in and I love shopping in them. I don’t see lots of people who look like me in the store I shop in now, which I find sad, but I figure it’s their loss. If only more people went into these places, maybe there would be less hate and fear of others who didn’t look like them.

So, I will continue to seek out the ‘other’ so I can keep learning, and hope they want to learn about me. I heard Bernice King today speaking about what her Father preached. It’s all about Love! Mission Possible, she called it…yes, I believe so.