ive been insane all this time believing in a fantasy he is sick there was no meaningful love between us he wouldn't have abandoned me if that was the case he gave up he left and replaced me in a week there is no going back from that im only now realising no matter how …
RAGE
sometimes i wonder if i am doing the right thing if my heart is true but then i remember that it is although tainted by the blade of betrayal it is true it was true but i think it's slowly turning into a vengeful monster .... i will make him suffer he doesn't deserve happiness …
what am i doing with my life
maybe not letting go is a mistake i clearly knew he wasn't right for me when we were together why did i think anything would change just because i have is it so wrong to expect a reply to the question i asked? any reply is fine as long as i get one if you …
අම්මා
we've been in eachothers lives since day one for me you created me but it feels like it was yesterday night that i talked to you truly for the first time i felt your genuinity and that you really cared for the first time our relationship has been so flawed the past twenty years so …
anxieties (trigger warning)
some days I am reminded of what happened to me when I was 17 it's hard to deal with the onslaught of emotion and anxiety that comes with those memories i had thought i had my mind under control. That these things can't get to me anymore. fears of illness, death and ruination haunt me …
break ups are like barcode stickers
No matter how fast you'd like things to be over. No matter how quickly you'd like to move on and live without all the pain associated with that relationship. You cannot simply and swiftly rip it off. Just as a cheaply constructed barcode sticker made with a faulty adhesive method is stuck on strongly to …
Personality
Changing one's personality is a difficult and gradual process. Trying to oppose the pull of what feels intrinsic to you But you needn't push yourself too hard Just develop strategies of coping To minimise social or emotional detriment in the meantime For example if you feel sensitive and are hurt by something I.e. being blocked …
It took me 20 years
I am crying. Genuine tears. OF HAPPINESS. It's currently 6:20am on a Sunday morning. I have an exam tomorrow morning for which I am cramming 12 weeks worth of content. Still haven't mastered the art of organisation. I am experiencing a rare and overwhelming burst of happiness. In the past I would've attributed this to …
I am mentally ill
It's so easy to forget And when I forget, I dream about all the things normal people have I fool myself into believing I can have them too But it's all in vain I live a different kind of life Happiness is harder for people like me We're just cursed this way But it makes …
White flag
I'm fighting a losing battle Injured. Defenseless, against the attacks. I'm bleeding out Can't breathe Am barely alive But I promised myself I would try. I am trying I was trying I tried So hard. ~ ~ ~ I surrender Now, I accept defeat I welcome it Let me end this suffering Let me die …
Memoirs of My Metamorphosis 