Tomorrow my blog will be last year’s news.
I always dreamed of having a blog and this time last year it became my New Year’s Resolution to make myself one. And I did. It’s been fun. It really has. It’s provided me with a creative outlet and I am truly thankful for it. I never thought my blog would really get off the ground but one year later, here I am writing in it ever so regularly. It’s become a normal activity in my everyday life and I really enjoy writing.
Unfortunately, this year, it is my New Year’s Resolution to end my blog.
As good as it has been to take the opportunity to develop my writing skills as a means of expressing myself, it has been soul-wrenching to find my prayer life neglected and enter into a depressing drought.
As much satisfaction as I have in receiving comments and hits on my blog I know it will never compare to the surpassing greatness of knowing my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Nothing can give me the joy and peace that I find in Him.
I hoped that in starting a blog, the inner me would come out. That by writing about my life and myself, God would naturally flow through as God has always been the centre of my life. I hoped that by that, my readers would be encouraged in their own walk with God.
I was right… the true me did show and that is the sinful, selfish me that I am without God in complete control of my life. In depriving myself of those important moments with God, my Christian strength had dwindled out and how could I ever expect to lead as a Christian when I myself was suffering?
I am not joking when I say that this been the hardest and most unrewarding year of my life. It’s funny, it has been the best year of high school for me and good in many other ways but overall it has been a drag with underlying depressive streaks. All year I have cried and made numerous failed attempts to really feel connected with God like I had been for so long.
It hurts because I know what it is like to be completely in sync with Jesus and I know what I am missing. So this year I want to find that again. I will be even more busy with school and loaded with stress, which is why I cannot afford to miss out on my time alone with God. I need to read my Bible, I need to write in my prayer journal and rather than writing in my blog, I need to go back to that therapeutic method called writing in a diary.
I absolutely adore having a blog and I would love to come back to it. It is just a sacrifice I know I must make right now to get myself and my life back on the track God has destined for me. I am at total peace about this and I know it is the right thing to do.
So may God bless you all this New Year and I pray that each one of you will come closer and closer to Him, who loves you so much.
In Christ’s Love, Nicola.
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.
Philippians 3;8
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
–2 Peter 3:18
retracing me's blog 
