As Michael says, “Everything is environmental justice”, and well “everything” is a lot, but it’s also true. Take fair elections. They may not seem at first glance to be connected to environmental justice, but in places without fair and equal representation, those who stand to suffer the most have the least power to protect themselves from environmental injustices . . .
“Everything’s environmental justice” is something I used to say around the shop back during Reckoning 2 or thereabouts, a way of indicating what kinds of environmental writing should go in the magazine: all kinds, from everywhere and everyone.
Ten years in, I stand by that statement, even as I acknowledge that “everywhere” for our purposes refers, with far . . .
Fairytales are revealing: they tell us about the world in which they were formed, the landscapes and values that created them. They’re also ever-changing, morphing to meet the mindsets of the times. The brutality of the Brothers Grimm is transmogrified by Disney; the pagan folk stories of Wales morph into the Christianity-friendly fables of the Mabinogion. . .
Fairytales are revealing: they tell us about the world in which they were formed, the landscapes and values that created them. They’re also ever-changing, morphing to meet the mindsets of the times. The brutality of the Brothers Grimm is transmogrified by Disney; the pagan folk stories of Wales morph into the Christianity-friendly fables of the Mabinogion. As climate change rapidly shifts the realities of life on our planet, it only makes sense that the stories alter also. Which brings us to Syr Hayati Beker’s ambitious collection, What a Fish Looks Like (Stelliform).
Despite how often these stories change, it can be difficult to pull off an effective fairytale revision. Reimagining traditional stories isn’t exactly uncharted territory—I mean, I studied Margaret Atwood’s modern revisal of “Bluebeard” when I was doing my Master’s degree a whole two decades ago (good gods, am I really so old?). So Syr Hayati Beker has set themself quite a challenge. How do you tread such a well-worn path through the enchanted forest and still keep the trek even vaguely interesting?
From the outset, it’s clear that What a Fish Looks Like isn’t afraid to innovate. The evocative language and nonconventional format of its very first pages draw the reader into the book’s broken world, one where there are “no frogs left to kiss.” This is where climate futures and traditional tales mesh so well, as we’re immediately confronted with the natural core of fairytales that we’ve long taken for granted: forests and wolves; mice and pumpkins; fish and the sea. In this collection the names of old tales have been crossed out and replaced by a version that fits the eco-catastrophe. “The Little Mermaid” is changed to “Playlist 4Merx in Times of Sea Levels Rising”, “The Snow Queen” to “Server Farm Queen”, “Beauty and the Beast” to “What a Fish Looks Like”.
But this isn’t a set of disjointed retellings. The six stories all form part of an overarching narrative, with the spaces between filled with letters, notes, ticket stubs, and illustrations. This fits the standard “apocalyptic journal” trope, but it also goes far beyond it. The broken fragments, so poignant and heartfelt, present something very human. The world is dying, our thoughts scratched over the pages of a tattered book, and yet we live. We love. Thoroughly and painfully.
Through it all we follow a diverse set of mostly queer and trans people clustered in a dying city. With their fears, joys, and heartbreaks interweaving their way through the book, it becomes clear that it’s the characters themselves that form the real collection here, rather than the individual fairy stories. Each presents their own perspective on the climate catastrophe they’re living (and dying) through, and the first we’re introduced to are Seb and Jay.
This old collection of tales has been handed back and forth between the two former lovers, revealing their often-competing attitudes as well as their turbulent relationship. While Jay finds optimism in community and technology—even planning on leaving the poisoned Earth on an “Exodus” ship—Seb scans the empty oceans, desperately seeking life in the once-teeming seas. On first glance, Jay could be seen to embody hope, Seb something more like despair. Yet their roles aren’t binary (more on that later), but more of a confused tangle. Jay’s optimism can be cruel and wilfully shallow; Seb’s role involves listening to the long-dead depths on the off-chance that something will call to them. Neither is right. Neither wrong.
“After you left, I watched live video of that action that put you in the news: the last elephant funeral. Two thousand people crying in public, in paper elephant masks. What’s so hopeful about that?” (p. 25)
Life goes on. Life never stops going on, even as the air becomes hard to breath, the swelling oceans rise, and invasive “Sleeping Beauty”-style vines choke their way across the city. In the retelling of “The Little Mermaid” we meet a trans woman struggling through her own personal catastrophes, all while making plans to finally come out and live a life that’s authentic to her. Even in this mired world, her desires for the future ring clear. Meanwhile, “Antigone, But With Spiders” follows a theatre crew as they attempt to put on a live performance, one they hope will bring the neighbourhood together. They all command their own agency, not mere victims of our environmental mistakes, but people who want to live and thrive. As the narrative itself points out, this is an excavation of human lives: “The same way you can see in layers of rock and soil when there was an ice age or a drought, you can tell on the bathroom door where the world kept on ending and not ending in different ways” (p. 53).
Throughout it all, these characters are not alone. They seek solace in one another, forming collectives that continually shift and change. These collectives seem to have formed in the absence of authority, an anarchist solution to this slow apocalypse, and the overarching story explores all the strengths and weaknesses of community in the face of devastation. As someone who’s been involved in different queer communities across different countries, there’s so much that’s familiar here. With so many end-of-the-world stories featuring the same straight cis nuclear families, it’s heartening—and terrifying—for this Armageddon to hit so close to home.
As we saw with Seb and Jay, the characters are given a choice: to be part of #TeamEarth, or to join #TeamShip. That is, to stay and deal with the growing planetary catastrophe, or to take a chance on one of the Exodus ships heading for a new world (a choice complicated by the spreading vines and the fact that the first two Exodus ships may have met a grisly end). Individuals switch from one group to the other, and though there’s a great deal of ideological baggage attached to each choice, neither is presented as fundamentally right or wrong. Both are optimistic, both pessimistic.
All these elements combine to buck the binary of utopia and dystopia. I’ve written extensively on “ambitopia”, of going beyond these traditionally stale dualisms to discover something more relevant to our ever-changing world. To create something more than the rigid, complacent promises of utopia and the heedless despair of dystopia; fictions that help us deal with everything that prior generations have left for us. Here, collectives are established even as wider society fails; new stories are told when old worlds die. With its extremes of hope and despair, lethal environmental chaos occurring alongside attempts at artistic order—all in the face of queer love and community—What a Fish Looks Like presents a complex ambitopian future. It’s an ever-emerging genre that’s only growing more important as global temperatures continue to rise.
This non-binary approach is of course reflected in the book’s nonconventional format. Though mostly expressed via various textual fragments, What a Fish Looks Like also takes the time to showcase other forms of art. I briefly mentioned the illustrations before, and I have to take a moment to dwell on these, because the drawings scattered throughout the pages are absolutely spectacular. Aside from serving as another element that keeps the fairytale revisions feeling fresh, these images serve as visual reminders of the value of art itself, even—especially—at the end of the world. The beautiful creations formed in response to climate catastrophe can’t be separated from the very climate catastrophe that inspired them, and so they literally illustrate the book’s rejection of easy dualisms: utopia and dystopia, triumph and tragedy, gain and loss. Once I’d finished the stories, I found myself flicking back through the pages to revisit the trash-ravished ocean waves and posters referencing classical sculpture.
The text itself is equally haunting and rich. The bitter poetic elegance of the language carries the reader through devastation both public and personal, with formatting played with throughout; not only in the varied media used but via the playful placing of words upon the page, with scattered shards of sentences colliding with one another. This can be another aspect that’s difficult to pull off, yet they fit perfectly with the book’s wider themes alongside the queer, fractured hopes of its characters. There’s also a constant playful wit that dances its way throughout the novel, both highlighting and lightening the various small tragedies, further adding to the text’s depths.
“The air is aluminum and your throat is a microwave and everything crackles.” (p. 61)
By now it should be fairly obvious that I loved this book. But that’s not to suggest that all its elements came across perfectly. Though I enjoyed most of the stories, the retelling of “Little Red Riding Hood”—now “Root Systems”—managed to lose me. This tale was too abstract, beautifully evocative yet dropping the book’s narrative thread. It doesn’t help that it occurs in the middle of a crisis moment for one of the characters, shifting focus at what felt like the wrong moment. “Root Systems” also played into the fears I had before starting this collection, because we’ve been here before when it comes to fairytale retellings. The grandma is tough, the wolf misunderstood, and the lumberjack demolishes the forest. Among an otherwise unique set of stories, this rewrite of “Little Red Riding Hood” relies on too many old tropes.
Thankfully, it’s a small proportion of the overall text, and that’s the only real issue I had. Otherwise, the overall tone of What a Fish Looks Like never gets old, with tragedy morphing into dry humour, on into moments of persevering beauty, and back again. The emotional range is as varied as it is rich. It sweeps through different forms of collapse, not only in terms of governance and ecosystems, but even that of data infrastructure—which is compellingly explored in the final story, “Server Farm Queen”. Dealing with the swirling flurry of broken data, with information systems overwhelmed with meaningless garbage, the story reminds us that information pollution is also an unfurling disaster, one that impacts our psyches just as a changing climate impacts our bodies.
“Coke bottles. Polar Bears. Banksy. Warhol. Work of art. Do not be afraid of the—Meditation for a healthier—You could be at risk for—Symptoms include brain fog, losing sleep, sleeping too much, mood swings, Stop.” (p. 108)
So how can there be fairy tales without those deep dark forests, without the teeming wonder of the sea? How can there be handsome princes when there’s no functioning government, or even frogs left to kiss? Thanks to Syr Hayati Beker’s vivid imagination and gorgeous writing style, we’re given a fascinating glimpse into the recreated myths of an eco-wrecked world—as well as, more importantly, the actual people that lie behind them. All of which is revealed not only through conventional stories, but also via the scrawled notes, exquisite drawings, and fragmented poetry that they pass back and forth to one another. It’s all so gloriously messy. And so very human.
Here’s something any student of literature can tell you: when something is a literal “must-read,” it becomes a chore. Even a beloved book can be slow and burdensome when you have to get through it, and that’s no less true when it comes to writing reviews. But these stories and their annotations drew me in, they made me forget the compulsion even as I stopped to write my notes. Of all the books I’ve had the opportunity to review, What a Fish Looks Like is one of my absolute favourites. And this human excavation, with all of its complex characters, beautiful language, and keen ambitopian vision of a climate-ravaged future, could easily become one of your favourites, too.
Aaron: I’m Aaron Kling, audio editor for Reckoning, and listeners, if you’re feeling cold, this episode will warm you right up. It’s “SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER”, from Reckoning 7, written and read by T.K. Rex. I really enjoyed “SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN”. Before it’s . . .
Aaron: I’m Aaron Kling, audio editor for Reckoning, and listeners, if you’re feeling cold, this episode will warm you right up. It’s “SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER”, from Reckoning 7, written and read by T.K. Rex. I really enjoyed “SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN”. Before it’s a story about climate, it’s a story about building interspecies bridges, hand to flipper. Before it’s a story about communication, it’s a story about a changing world through a new pair of eyes. And before all that, it’s a story about curiousity, about being willing to push out of your own sphere and into someone else’s, even if you’ve got to go underwater to do it. And I think that’s worth a listen. Right?
“If we ever wanted to, our friend group could transition nicely into a BDSM circle,” I announce to my friend George as we stare at nearly $1,000 worth of locks and chains in a pile on the living room floor.
“Is that a thing? A BDSM circle?” he asks, looking up from his project of color-coding keys to locks with iridescent nail polish.
“If we ever wanted to, our friend group could transition nicely into a BDSM circle,” I announce to my friend George as we stare at nearly $1,000 worth of locks and chains in a pile on the living room floor.
“Is that a thing? A BDSM circle?” he asks, looking up from his project of color-coding keys to locks with iridescent nail polish.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “You can ask the cops about it.”
“Probably not the best strategy . . . .” he says as he sets up a stopwatch.
“Ok! Let’s try Pancakes with Blueberries.” The code name for the position we’ve chosen doesn’t sound like the sexiest of moves, but we haven’t chosen it to be sexy. After all, we are not (as of now) a BDSM circle. We are just friends, with a lot of locks, a lot of chains, and a plan to shut down a natural gas pipeline.
I got involved in activism my senior year of high school. For my first act of civil disobedience, I skipped school to attend a rally in Washington, DC against the Keystone XL pipeline. High school tyrant Mr. Maxfield told me that if I went, he’d give me detention. As an anxious teen whose identity hinged on straight As and approving nods from adults, I cried about the decision beforehand to no less than three teachers and two administrators. But the next Saturday, wearing my homemade No Tar Sands shirt in the no phone zone cafeteria with all the other adolescent miscreants, I felt like a complete badass. Four years and many protests later, here I am searching under the couch for missing adult diapers as I prepare for my second arrest for direct action.
Today, there are six of us planning to block construction of the West Roxbury pipeline with our bodies. Ian, Amy, and I will jump in a pit where the pipeline will go and lock ourselves in a triangle with our backs together. This arrangement is ‘Pancakes with Blueberries’. In a pit across town Max, Sam, and Angus will fold themselves into a complicated tangle of arms and legs, with people lying down and sitting on top of each other. This we call, somewhat less whimsically, Shit Pit Yoga.
George is driving the getaway car. We have planned to do one loop around the block to scope. The second drive-by is the real deal.
“Oh my G-d I can’t do it!” Amy panics.
“No no! We’re doing it!” I cheer and lunge for the door, “Oh shit. Can we do another loop?”
Once we’re out of the car, we must act fast. The workers and security on site are used to activists. If we don’t get into formation, they’ll get us out much more quickly, meaning the whole thing will have been a big waste of time and money.
The July sun is already hot at eight in the morning. I look over the edge of the pit, then close my eyes and jump, like it’s a swimming pool, like it’s a normal summer day and I have nothing to worry about. Like I am young and fearless.
I lock my feet together first so that even if we don’t get our waists locked together I will not be able to walk away if the police try to make me. More specifically, if the police try to make me, my ankles will break. This fact that previously seemed merely strategic is suddenly anxiety-inducing. The chains have been custom tailored for my ankles by an engineering major friend. They are tight, requiring the lock to be just so to close. I close it.
For our waists, each person is in charge of the lock to their left. (Always go left.) I reach around and my clammy fingers fumble with the bolt between Ian and me. Shit. How much time has passed? 20 seconds? A month? I scoot backward to get a better angle and the lock slams shut.
“I’ve got pancakes!” I call out.
I wipe my hands on my pants, which are long despite the 90 degree weather because I’ve been told that jail is cold. I’m fighting global warming, but I still hate the cold. I wipe my hands so I’ll be ready for what’s next: super glue.
“It never really works,” George told us weeks before in a prep meeting. “Your hands will be too sweaty from heat and nerves, but it confuses the cops and looks good in a headline.”
I spread it across my palm and up my arm then pass the bottle off to Ian before we grasp hands. He passes it to Amy, and Amy throws it aside hoping we don’t accrue an additional littering charge for this detritus. All hands together and no one has even noticed the commotion. We’ve got blueberries.
Climate change is bad. Really bad. Most of the time, even I am a climate denier. I will lay my body down in the sand, but I don’t know how to grapple with the voice in my head, with the numbers in the news, with the knowledge that my country has condemned hundreds of thousands to death. People will lose their homes. People will lose their livelihoods. People will die. It’s started already. And the people who will bear this burden first and hardest are communities of color, low-income, and indigenous communities. I don’t know how to feel this, I mean really feel this, and still wake up in the morning. I get the urge to ignore. I get the desire to look away. Of course I deny.
In the pit, we clutch each other’s hands as if they aren’t already glued together.
“I’m nervous,” Amy tells me. We do the only reasonable thing there is to do; we sing.
“The tide is rising, and so are we.” The song comes from Rabbi Shoshana Freedman and singing it I have never felt more powerful. Shouting and sirens begin to drown our voices. We sing louder. The construction workers, police, and firemen circle us, looking down over the sandy drop off. They grumble about how to cleanse what is, for this morning, a money-losing pit of filthy activists.
Over the radio, we hear: “Wait, they’re in your pit too!?”
Oh yeah we are! We are everywhere.
The fireman throws his jacket over my head to protect my eyes from flying sparks. It’s heavy and I have a vague memory of elementary school field trips from back when I had a simpler understanding of what it meant to be a civil servant. Without warning, I am sprayed with a hose. This is also, in theory, to protect me, but sitting in a puddle of mud in darkness beneath a fireman’s jacket, warm metal against my bruised ankles, all I can think is, How did I get here? Why do my friends, my beautiful friends who are in their early twenties, who navigate depression, and grad school, and dinner, and dating, why must they put themselves in situations like this? What a totally absurd thing to do with a Monday morning.
The moment I am free from my ankle chains, I am bound at the wrists.
“You’re under arrest for trespassing and disturbing the peace.”
Personally, I thought our music was perfectly peaceful, but the National Lawyers Guild, who provides legal aid to activists, says arguments based on the quality of the singing will not hold up in a court of law.
As I am led past two fire trucks and an ambulance to the police wagon, I call out to my jail support an important message, “Please bring pizza!”
In the first holding cell, we cheer as Max, Angus, and Sam are led in.
“We love you!” Max, whose baby will be born within the week, has a towel wrapped around his waist.
“What happened to your pants??” we ask.
“Well . . . .” Max monotones, “Sam was screaming because of the superglue and they poured acetone on my dick.”
“What??”
But Max is led to the back to be fingerprinted.
“I guess it’s good he’s already having his baby.” Ian shrugs. Nothing fazes Ian.
Here is the truth. The sacrifices we will have to make are going to be bigger than $40 and a day in jail. Change is happening, but not fast enough. At this point we are not fighting to stop climate change. Our fight is for degrees. Degrees of warming. Degrees of deaths.
To those who would call young activists idealistic I would say, yeah. The criminal justice system is racist, and cruel, and life-ruining. But because I am white, young, college-educated, and protesting climate change in a liberal-leaning region, I am free to pass through its tendrils relatively unscathed. And I would be lying to say it’s not partially for selfish reasons that I engage in civil disobedience. I am terrified by the thought that the fires, storms, droughts, and hostility to immigrants and refugees we see now may not in fact be “the new normal”. The new normal will, in all likelihood, be a lot worse.
There’s kind of a relief in jail that at this moment, there’s nothing more I can do. In my cell, with nothing but my tired mind, receding adrenaline, and wet clothes, I can finally accept that this is out of my control. It is unacceptable to live resigned to the reality that we will not be able to do enough. It’s self-sustaining to acknowledge this truth. People will lose their homes, communities, and livelihoods. People will die. Hopefully fewer because of us, but there’s really no way to know. We will keep fighting anyway. We will sing louder. We sing to be heard, but also to say, “We hear you. We have not, and we will not, forget you.”
The marches and rallies, the meetings and pits have all taught me how to love. This is the way I have to say “I have your back” to Amy and Ian and George and Sam and Max, to our unborn (or soon to be born) children, to my sisters, to the fighters everywhere. There is no winning in a world where people will die needlessly, but there is still loving. There is still believing in a world worth fighting for. When we are singing, when we are laughing, this is when I find the strength, trust, and commitment to lay my body down.
Outside the jail, my hands oily with pizza grease, I hug my friends as they’re released. On Sunday, we’ll debrief the action in our normal meeting and eat home-cooked chili from a comically large pot. We will think about how we can confuse the police for longer, how we can maintain pressure, how we can engage more people in West Roxbury. We’ll break out the ukulele and play John Prine crooners. For now, I run and jump on Angus as he walks from the precinct.
“Angus!!!!! We did it!” I cheer.
“Oh my G-d did you actually get us pizza? I’m so happy!” he says to George, who is without a doubt the best jail support a grimy activist could ask for.
“Of course!” George smiles. He yells to the precinct as we walk to the car, “See you next week!”
Next week, there will be a new pit to fill with new songs. Next week, we will be everywhere.
Aaron: Whenever and wherever you are, get hydrated and get hopeful, because it’s the Reckoning Press Podcast! I’m Aaron Kling, audio editor for Reckoning, here to bring you another episode. Hope you’re having a good one, because today we have “It’s In the Blood” from Reckoning 8, written by Susan . . .
Aaron: Whenever and wherever you are, get hydrated and get hopeful, because it’s the Reckoning Press Podcast! I’m Aaron Kling, audio editor for Reckoning, here to bring you another episode. Hope you’re having a good one, because today we have “It’s In the Blood” from Reckoning 8, written by Susan Kaye Quinn and read by Anna Pele. This is a story about one of my favorite things, guerilla pharmacological research and distribution. Not exactly a common genre, I know, but Susan has put equal parts thought and heart into her world of poisoned livers and singsong façades. Give it a listen! You won’t be disappointed.
First Jeff Martin bought the narrow strip of land between the river and Banks Road from the town, then he spider-webbed caution tape between the trees and nailed posted signs to their bark. The swimming hole where so many of us had spent our childhood summers was no longer ours. And this with each year hotter than the last.
First Jeff Martin bought the narrow strip of land between the river and Banks Road from the town, then he spider-webbed caution tape between the trees and nailed posted signs to their bark. The swimming hole where so many of us had spent our childhood summers was no longer ours. And this with each year hotter than the last.
Martin, who also owned The Weekly Gazette, the Dollar Store on the edge of town, and a quarter of the rental properties, bought and moved into the Carter Mansion across the street from our swimming hole after the last owner died. As big as it was, it wouldn’t pass as a mansion nowadays, but the historical plaque in front of it named it the original home of the town founder. A draw, no doubt, for Martin, who fancied himself a self-made man in the way the wealthy who grew up just shy of wealthy tend to do. He didn’t live there one full summer before he convinced the town council that the strip of land—the only spot with passable access down the river-cut gorge—was nothing more than a waste of taxpayer money.
Why pay to have it mown, when he could send his landscape crew over? (And seeing as he was doing the town this favor, really, the property ought to be tax-exempt, didn’t they agree?) Like most things Jeff Martin said and did, it had the sound of a gift bestowed. Like everything he said and did, the beneficiary was definitively him.
How many generations had we kept that spot a secret from the June-to-August tourists who crowded the lake beach and left their soda cans, candy wrappers, and busted flipflops wherever they landed?
The sale went through with only the tiniest announcement buried in the back pages of the Gazette. The caution tape and posted signs were the first any of us heard of it.
Laughing, nervously, we ducked under the tape and made our way down to the hole where we’d swam all our lives. The cops arrived and bull-horned over the river that we were trespassing and had five minutes to vacate or risk arrest.
Men who had grown up there swimming with us turned their faces away when we reminded them of the summers we’d shared. They were just doing their jobs, they said.
The river still belonged to the town and some of us could make it down the opposite river bank, but it was a steep climb and likely to land you splayed and broken on the slate shelf that decked the river, worn smooth by spring and fall floods.
A group of us showed up at the next council meeting and took turns airing our grievances during the public comment portion until we were told our time was up. Two members of the council agreed that something should be done. Three members and the Mayor, who could regularly be found golfing with Jeff Martin during the week when the rest of us were at work, said this was a matter of private property now. They’d followed all required procedures in the sale and if we’d had a problem with it we should have spoken up then.
Three Sundays in a row we protested, crowded by the side of the road with our clever signs and a spirit of camaraderie. The Gazette reporter showed up. Took pictures and asked us questions, scribbling in her notebook as we answered, but we never did see a story in the paper.
Our numbers dwindled until it was just me, a handful of folks who protested everything, and the cops telling us once again it was time to move along.
No matter where I was or what I was doing, the swimming hole and Jeff Martin were there in the back of my mind throbbing like a hammer-hit thumb.
It wasn’t right.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My husband, Andy, told me I needed to let it go. We, of all people—two men whose right to love each other out in public hadn’t been recognized even half our lives—should know there are bigger worries in the world than the local swimming hole. Racism, sexism, all the isms, and a climate crisis to boot. I shouldn’t hold it against the folks who had lost interest, preoccupied with the business of living.
I went to the river, picked my way down the steep side as the sun set and looked for the ghosts of summers past. I imagined myself teaching the child we thought we might adopt how to swim, tossing them over my shoulders, clapping at their underwater somersaults. Giving them the things my father had given me.
Sitting there, head in my hands, I worried Andy was right—this powerless feeling would consume me if I let it and there were far worse wrongs to confront. Better to change myself than give in to the growing resentment of people who didn’t care enough to take back what had been given away out from under them.
A voice startled me out of my ruminations.
“Why so down, friend?”
A three-quarters moon had risen over the placid river, lighting the snaking lines of current, wet stone bank, and the leaves of trees lining the top of the gorge on either side. I couldn’t spot a soul. A splash in the river caught my attention, and there, in the middle, a salmon the size of a two-year-old swam a lazy circle and asked the question again.
Of course I’d heard of this fish. You can’t walk a block in this town without meeting someone who knows someone who almost hooked it, or heard it speak, or watched it leap fifty feet in the air in acrobatic delight. Even my father believed it was as old as the town.
So here was my madness, finally emerging. Well, what can you do but answer when a fish asks a question twice?
I told it my troubles. Explained about Jeff Martin and the town council and the aching maw in my chest for all the friends and neighbors content to let another piece of what should be ours be pirated off by a handful of people.
The fish dipped under the water and I thought I had bored it, but then its head reappeared. “You’re a good egg, friend,” it said, “so I’m going to do you a solid. A good egg for a good egg.” It laughed at its joke in a voice like a hard summer rain. It rolled over, water shimmering off its moon-silvered scales, and popped a small shining orb out of its vent. With a flick of its tail, it lobbed the egg over to me. It glowed orange in my hand, no bigger than a pea. “In three days, when the moon is full, make a wish and eat that.” The salmon swam a circle and again came to a stop. “All the usual reminders about being careful what you wish for. You only get the one.” And with that it swam off.
I carried the egg home, cradled in my palm, and not knowing what else to do with it, I filled a glass with water and dropped it in.
I told Andy my story and he peered at the little glob at the bottom of the glass. He put the back of his hand up to my forehead. I shrugged him off.
“I’m feeling fine.”
“Okay,” he said in that way that meant if you say so, and asked me what I was going to wish for. I shrugged again and he left me in the kitchen, watching the egg do nothing.
Over the next three days I imagined all manner of wicked ends for Jeff Martin as I worked. If not death, then public humiliations that left him impoverished. In my kinder moods, I considered wishing him a change of heart. A Scroogening. But wasn’t there always another Jeff Martin, waiting to take his place?
I thought of personal gain—a windfall of money that would set Andy and I up for life. But then I would be the Jeff Martin, wouldn’t I?
On the third night, when the moon rose full and gleaming, I stood on our front lawn and wished the wish of my heart: that good people believed they could make a difference if they tried. I drank the glass of water, the glowing egg sliding over my tongue and down my throat.
I slipped into bed and apologized to Andy for not wishing something for us.
He laughed, “don’t be a fool,” and kissed me until we were peeling each other’s sweats off in the dark.
In the morning, I walked down to the diner for a cup of coffee before work, hoping to find the world changed.
But it was just as it had been the morning before. The Gazette followed a developer looking to tear down waterfront buildings and put up luxury condos along the lake. Old white men grumbled at the counter about immigrants taking away jobs, and when I got to work the foreman told our crew we’d have to put in extra hours to make sure the plumbing was roughed in on schedule, but we’d be shorted hours next week so the company didn’t have to pay overtime.
Frustrated and exhausted, I got home no longer furious only with Jeff Martin and the people who wouldn’t stand up to him, but with myself, for having hoped. Color drained out of the world. Everywhere I looked were signs of the inevitability of everything crumbling to shit.
Andy tried to cheer me, but most evenings ended with me scrolling through the news, finding proof of all the terrible things in the world and the myriad ways people make each other suffer. I had been earnest and optimistic and what had it gotten me? Nothing but a broken heart.
My neighbors were right. Better to tend to your own affairs and hope the burning world arrived at your doorstep last.
Three weeks into my festering, I arrived home to find Andy sitting at the kitchen table, a stack of papers in front of him. I eyed them as I bent to kiss him and he nodded for me to sit down. He handed a page over to me, a yellow stick-on arrow pointing to a signature line, “Sign there.”
“Wha—”
“Just sign.”
He was trying to play it serious, like he was in the law office where he worked as a paralegal and I was some client in a suit and tie. But you don’t spend fifteen years with a person and not know when they’re buzzing to tell you something, so I played along.
I signed three different papers before he hit me with the sidelong smile—his charming snaggletooth crooked and jaunty—that first caught my attention all those years ago. He unfolded a surveyor’s map, smoothed it across the table. There was Jeff Martin’s house, devil horns drawn out of the roof and a fish penciled in the swimming hole. I followed Andy’s finger down to a spot marked with an X.
“About seventy feet south of the swimming hole, the Jenkin’s property line starts.” He pointed to a spot where the river swung a wide arc away from Valley Road and back towards Banks Road before tumbling down a series of small waterfalls out into the inlet and beyond that, the lake. “Liza has agreed to deed access rights for this portion of land,” he circled a rectangle formed by dotted lines, “to the Friends of the River. A nonprofit of which you and I are the founding members. It’s steep, but you can build a good set of stairs that would do the trick and then it’s just a matter of walking up the bank,” his finger trailed back up to the swimming hole.
The world was still on fire, the wealthy were still fucking over as many people as they could, and all manner of horrible shit still needed to be torn down. But look at this man and how he loved me.
I started on the stairs that weekend, clearing a path through the brush and saplings from the street to the cliff edge. About an hour into my work Liza Jenkin’s daughter, home from college, arrived with a tool belt slung over her shoulder and a cooler of cold drinks. By lunch, three more neighbors had come to lend a hand.
We worked every Saturday for a month, our numbers growing so large that half of us were just standing around offering encouragement and memories of summers past (somebody’s story of a talking fish got us all sharing our own).
Where one person’s knowledge faltered—the sturdiest way to anchor the stairs to the rock face, where to get the best price on this material or that—another stood up and offered what they could.
When it was finished we made our way up to the swimming hole, laughing and whooping, our voices amplified off the gorge walls. We cannonballed, or waded in, or sat on the rock-shelf and dangled our toes, and no matter how many police cars Martin called they couldn’t stop our jubilee.
The Submersible aQuatic Cetacean Communication Robot—professionally known as SQCCR, affectionately known as “Squawker”—splashes into the harbor from the starboard side of the Charlotte’s Web at dawn. A few brilliant, cool drops hit Julia’s skin.
The heat index is already 96 and aiming for the red by ten. What must the dolphins think of the extra three degrees . . .
The Submersible aQuatic Cetacean Communication Robot—professionally known as SQCCR, affectionately known as “Squawker”—splashes into the harbor from the starboard side of the Charlotte’s Web at dawn. A few brilliant, cool drops hit Julia’s skin.
The heat index is already 96 and aiming for the red by ten. What must the dolphins think of the extra three degrees the world’s gained since the oldest members of their pods were born?
Maybe this is the upgrade that will finally help her find out.
“Everything’s looking good,” Parviz says through the radio, from his station by the monitors back at the lab. “Hey I’m hearing some signature whistles—it’s the ladies. They’re not too far from you.”
Julia scans the gentle blue-green waves for them, from the causeway in the distance to the houseboats down in Punta Gorda, where there were houses just ten years ago.
“There they are!” Tumelo says, pointing west with their chin. Julia’s grad student from Botswana is taller than her, even more than most people are, with a frohawk, a kind heart and a gift for 3D modeling.
Julia can see the pod, dorsal fins cutting through the shining surface of the bay, spouts and splashes getting closer. Parviz comes in on radio, “Whoa, they’re already approaching. That was fast.”
Time to get back to the lab. She misses the days of working directly with the dolphins, but it’s better for them this way.
As the Charlotte’s Web turns around and picks up speed, she catches a glimpse of them below the surface. Ten female Atlantic bottlenose dolphins, gray and sleek and strong, with their three calves. The mammals swim against, around each other, close and then apart and close again, one leaps, another leaps, three more surface to exhale.
Tumelo grins wide at Julia, then looks back out at the water, where just below the surface a dolphin is already swimming right up to the drone. “That must be Summer,” Tumelo says.
Julia nods. Summer’s the only one who hasn’t lost interest in Squawker.
Parviz confirms. “She’s definitely saying something—” a few clicks and whistles filter through his pause. “It’s processing . . . .” It’s not physically possible to be any sweatier, but Julia’s palms somehow feel even slicker than they did a minute ago. Is this it? “Oh shit,” Parviz says. “The new visuals are way better.”
Julia’s heart pounds in her chest like a storm. Tumelo grabs her arm, grip strong and smile wide.
“What are you seeing?!” Julia asks Parviz.
“Uhh . . . It looks like Squawker! It looks a lot like Squawker. She’s literally sending us a portrait. It’s crystal clear, Jules. Damn. We nailed it this time.” There’s victory and wonder in his voice.
“Yes! We finally did it!” Tumelo jumps up and down with excitement. “Oh, I would hug you if it wasn’t so hot!”
Julia laughs and cheers with her team. Two decades of work have led to this. The hardware, the algorithms, the past three years of fine-tuning . . . all so she could see the dolphins’ sounds the way the dolphins do, in three dimensions. She can’t wait to get back to the lab and look at the results herself.
After a lifetime of wondering, she’s finally going to know exactly what they’re saying.
What will she say back?
That night, instead of going home, they look at all the footage and the readouts from the afternoon another dozen times. Tumelo picks up samosas and biryani from the place across the street and Anusha brings Prosecco. Parviz runs ‘30s pop songs through the visualizer until Anusha drives him home. By 2am Tumelo and Julia are still there, looking over everything, just one more time.
“Right here,” Tumelo says, pointing at a monitor. “That’s the drone.”
“I wonder,” Julia says, leaning on the back of Tumelo’s chair, “if we have enough data with this yet to compose an original message. Not just mimicry.”
“Oh.” They nod enthusiastically. “I think we do. We’ve got the drone, and the dolphin, and the boat, and I still think those things are fish . . . . And then there’s all this stuff that we just have no idea what it is.” They grin, gesturing to the incomprehensible forms swirling on the third monitor.
“What do you think of it? Honestly.”
“I think . . . it’s beautiful. It could be pure expression, play, something we’re not calibrated for . . . .”
“Abstraction?”
Tumelo laughs. “Anusha definitely thinks so.”
“But do you think so? Tursiops has been around at least five million years, and the dolphin braincase has barely changed in twelve million. They’ve had the biology to communicate with this level of complexity six times longer than we’ve been capable of spoken language. We know they have the mental capacity. We know they’re capable of abstract thought. And now we finally have a way of teasing out which words are literal representations of our world, and which aren’t. Those are the ones I want to understand next, Tumelo.”
“I’m with you, Dr. Redhearth. It’s all very exciting.”
Julia swallows the last of her warm prosecco. “You’re bilingual.”
“Trilingual, actually,” Tumelo grins. “Why?”
“Nice. So you know how learning a new language expands the way you see the world, the concepts you have access to.”
“Oh definitely.”
“Imagine what new concepts they could bring into our world, Tumelo.”
“Or us to theirs, Dr. Redhearth.”
True. Julia nods and thinks of all the trash in Charlotte Harbor. All the violence in the news. The extremists and the propaganda, the dead zones in the Gulf . . . . But maybe . . . maybe an outside perspective is just the thing the human world needs.
Or another glass of Prosecco. She pours the last splash of the last bottle out into each of their mugs. “To Summer.”
“To Summer.” Tumelo smiles warmly.
It’s room temperature and flat. What had they been talking about before the dread seeped in? Something about how long dolphins have been capable of language. “You know,” Julia says, swirling her mug, “they’ve had time to evolve their languages into things we might not even understand. Nam-shubs, obscure allegories, ways of communicating we’ve only imagined in science fiction.”
“Look at you, Dr. Redhearth, getting into the telepathic dolphin comment thread! If the Redditors could see you now!”
Julia laughs heartily. “I am not saying they’re telepathic! But since you went there, we know they can target sound like a laser beam, right? So what’s stopping them from triggering the speech centers of the brain directly and making us hear English words, with enough practice? I’m just saying!”
“You’re just tipsy, is what you are!”
“That. Is true.”
“Listen, Julia. Tomorrow, I’m going to start composing our first original animation. And we’re going to finally prove to Summer that our little Squawker isn’t just a novelty. And then, one piece at a time, we’ll figure out what all that other . . . stuff . . . is. Tonight, you better call a car, OK?”
“Tomorrow’s Saturday.”
“And?”
The whole team is at the research center, glued to the monitors streaming Squawker’s feed. Summer’s smooth, gray form fills the video, and her usual chatter streams in through the speakers. It’ll take time to process that part of the conversation, but right now, Julia is trying to remember to breathe, palms sweating, waiting for a momentary lull in Summer’s monologue to press the button. To share, for the first time, something in Summer’s language that isn’t merely mimicry.
And then it’s there, the break, and Summer waits. Usually this is when they play what she just said back to her, and they go back and forth till she gets bored or the other dolphins call her away. But this time, Julia hits the key that plays the statement they spent a solid week composing out of scraps of sound, testing and retesting to make sure it reproduced in three dimensions as intended.
On the screen, it looks like what she hopes Summer sees: a 3D rendering of Squawker and a dolphin in motion, swimming together. The computer generates the caption: SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER. The sound is only squeaks, indistinguishable to Julia’s ears from thousands she’s heard before, most of it outside her hearing range entirely.
What follows is a moment of curious silence, Summer turning her head to look at Squawker closely with one eye, then swimming around it, examining it the way she did the first time she met the drone two years ago. The gathered scientists all hold their breath.
Then a barrage of squeaks and whistles, and Julia thinks she recognizes the same squeak they just sent, repeated several times, but she can’t be sure.
The translation comes in. A perfect 3D rendering of Squawker and a dolphin swimming side by side. The machine translation captions: SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER.
There’s so much to analyze here, Julia’s thinking, as a murmur rises, and becomes a cheer, and Parviz starts high-fiving everybody. Tumelo, grinning wide, asks Julia if they should draft a press release.
Before Julia can even wrap her head around that, Summer swims away abruptly.
“Oh shit, we didn’t scare her off, did we?” Parviz asks.
“Not this dolphin, she’s fearless,” says Tumelo.
“She’s telling the pod. Look,” Anusha says, and points to the Camera 5 monitor with a slender hand and an eager sparkle in her black-lined eyes. In the distance, Summer joins the pod, and the speakers all around the room play their faint, far away chatter.
Julia is certain she hears sounds that make up SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER repeated among the pod. Summer’s telling them what the drone said, she has to be.
It’s working. Real communication is finally possible. The weight of so many years of doubt starts lifting.
But what happens now? For a moment she feels almost dizzy.
The pod follows Summer back to Squawker. Summer whistles at the drone, and Julia would give anything to know what she’s saying right now, but there’s a short delay in processing. For now, there’s only one response. Julia hits send.
SQUAWKER AND DOLPHIN SWIMMING TOGETHER.
The pod erupts in chatter. So many speaking so fast simultaneously they’ll never pick it all apart.
Later, analyzing everything, Summer’s parting phrase that day stands out. It’s a vivid image of herself and Squawker swimming side by side, just like in the message they sent, but now surrounded by the pod. In the recording, Squawker has no reply. But Summer waits. She waits until the pod begins to leave, and call for her, and then she finally, slowly, turns and swims away.
POD SWIMMING. FISH. POD CHASING FISH. CATCHING FISH. EATING FISH. SQUAWKER EATING FISH.
Julia only has so many phrases to respond with. She pulls up the new VR interface Parviz designed and adds a file from the weather category they explored last week.
SQUAWKER EATING SUN. She makes up for the drone’s lack of a mouth by simply having it absorb the sun, swallowing it whole through its solar panel fins.
Summer gives the drone a sort of side-eye. SUN, she repeats. Incredulous, maybe? Then a string the computer isn’t confident about but might be a dolphin jumping so high it gets lost in the clouds. Julia laughs. That can’t be it, but wow. It’s almost a joke, almost a fable. Could they really have those? Anything is starting to seem possible.
In a stroke of insight, she commands the drone to surface and start charging up its solar fins. Through its cameras, Julia floats virtually upward through the green, wet world that surrounds her in VR. Summer follows, chattering so many things so fast the computer can’t keep up. When the fins unfurl, Summer squeaks, and the computer catches: SQUAWKER EATING SUN. SQUAWKER EATING SUN. SQUAWKER EATING SUN.
Julia wants to try something else. SQUAWKER, HUMAN. The human form she picks is a bit of public domain 3D clip art, a blonde woman in a bikini, frozen in a front crawl stroke.
Summer’s response makes her laugh out loud. SQUAWKER EATING HUMAN.
SQUAWKER AND HUMAN SWIMMING TOGETHER, she replies.
HUMAN, BOAT, [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. NETS. FISH GOING UP. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] DOLPHINS AND HUMANS SWIMMING TOGETHER. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] HUMAN SHOOTING AT DOLPHINS FROM BOAT.
The last image isn’t one she’s seen before from Summer, but it’s clear as day, the gun is there in the man’s hands and the shockwave of the gunshots distorts the whole thing in a sudden burst. The machine translation is dead on.
A few years ago some drunk asshole took his motorboat out into the harbor and started shooting at the dolphins playing in his wake. Two females were injured, and a calf was killed. Julia was livid. The whole mess sped up the team’s decision to use drones exclusively, to keep the dolphins from getting too comfortable around boats, from forming any relationship with humans at all.
Summer’s expression of the event chills Julia. Not just because they both remember the same painful incident, and not just because it’s finally proof dolphins can translate what they see above the water into 3D burst-pulse language. The thing that feels like a storm surge on a doorstep is the fact it wasn’t even Summer’s pod.
And Summer isn’t done. DOLPHINS SINKING. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. She claps her jaw, flashing pointed teeth.
That’s a threat behavior. Julia replies with: DOLPHIN SWIMMING. HUMAN SWIMMING. SQUAWKER SWIMMING. HUMAN DOLPHIN AND SQUAWKER SWIMMING TOGETHER.
Summer replies, adding her own signature whistle to the established dolphin form: SUMMER-DOLPHIN AND SQUAWKER SWIMMING TOGETHER. She doesn’t mention humans.
“I guess I don’t blame you, Summer,” she mutters to the monitors. “We’ve been dicks, haven’t we?” The shooter in the motorboat didn’t go to jail. He didn’t even lose his boat. He didn’t even lose his gun. She wants to believe that would have gone differently if it had been a human child killed, but this is Florida, after all.
She tries to keep the abstract as downplayed as possible, but everyone sees through it. The moment it’s up on the conference website, Julia starts getting messages from colleagues.
“You did it, didn’t you?”
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Holy shit I can’t wait to see this talk.”
“I’m literally imagining you showing up on that stage with a dolphin in some kind of land suit, please tell me that’s your plan, Julia!”
Even the most well-meaning responses from people she’s known for years make her palms sweat when she sees them.
She’s jet lagged from the flight to Vancouver, and nervous on the stage the way she always is, but when Summer’s picture comes up on the screen she can’t help but smile.
“And that’s Summer, interacting with our drone this past July, a few weeks after the upgrades. And now I’ll play some clips from our conversation that day.”
She goes to the next slide, and the squeaks and buzzes of burst-pulses fill the hall from every speaker, while the 3D animation of their meaning plays, overlaid on the video of Summer holding a fish between her teeth. FISH, the caption says, with Summer’s perfect 3D render of the creature she just caught. FISH, the drone repeats. They do the same with SNAIL, BEER CAN, and SCALLOP.
After apparently finishing the lesson to Summer’s satisfaction, Squawker says, CHRYSANTHEMUM. Tumelo made the 3D render from a scan they’d taken at a diner table when the team was out for lunch.
“We wanted to see what she would do with something she’s never observed before.”
Summer swims away.
“Wait for it . . . .”
She comes back a moment later with a sea urchin clinging to a frayed yard of orange rope. It does resemble the chrysanthemum, as much as anything in Charlotte Harbor. The crowd laughs, then starts applauding.
By the time her talk is over and the line for questions stretches out the door, she feels the first sprinkle of accomplishment set in like cooling rain. Her cheeks begin to ache from smiling.
She calls on the first person in line, one of the young cynics who gave a talk last year on how it’s probably all pretty nonsense, just like birdsong.
“All the so-called ‘words’ you’ve shown us today are still basically mimicry,” he says. “No different from a lyre bird replicating the sound of a chainsaw. So, I applaud you for finally getting these images into focus, but is there any indication in any of this that the dolphins are doing anything but playing?”
And what’s so wrong with that? Deep breath, Julia. Be nice. “There is,” she answers calmly. “Most of what we’re picking up from the rest of the pod is still unintelligible. Can we definitively say everything we don’t understand is something profound? Of course not. A lot of it is probably gossip, which we know humans use for social bonding. Some of it is probably fun nonsense, the way we make up words when we sing. The big breakthrough here is that now, with a few words we do understand, we can start to learn the rest. Next question.”
An older academic she’s met a couple times at other conferences is next. “Well, this is more of a comment than a question.” A few groans come from the audience. “This research is very interesting, and if it can be successfully replicated with more than one dolphin, I have to say it seems like it might be enough to start seeking legal personhood again.” A few people clap, most nod.
“You might be right. I hope you’re right.” Julia shrugs and smiles. “Who knows, maybe this time next year it’ll be Summer up here doing the presenting.”
Polite laughter. Everyone here knows it’ll be years before they understand the language enough for Summer or some other dolphin to declare their personhood, without ambiguity, in a court of law. And even then, laws tend to wait as long as possible to change.
The whole team gathers after, greeting her with high fives and hugs outside the conference center. “Drinks on me!” Parviz declares, and belts out a sea shanty as they walk along Vancouver Harbor to the hotel bar.
Oh what do you do with a talking dolphin?
What do you do with a talking dolphin?
What do you do with a talking dolphin?
Register her to voooote
Anusha, still laughing at Parviz’s antics, stops and leans over the rail, pointing out at the water. “Look, orcas!”
They all stop and look. Julia sees a spout, then three tall black dorsal fins, out near the bare wood spires of a sunken forest. It was still an island last time she was here.
Tumelo declares heartily, “They send their congratulations, Dr. Redhearth!”
“I wonder if we could explain all this somehow to Summer when we get back?” Anusha muses, tracing a slow line across the condensation of her beer glass. The water drips on to the reclaimed wood of their corner table.
Behind Anusha, up above the bar, someone’s set the television to a news station, which Julia has more or less successfully ignored all night.
“Yes! I could throw together a whole sequence for her,” Tumelo says. “I wonder how much of it would make sense to her though?”
“I bet she thinks airplanes are some kind of bird,” Parviz says.
Anusha laughs a little. “I think she knows they’re machines. When they fly low? All that noise? Come on.”
“But does she know what a machine is? Does she know Squawker is a machine?” Parviz counters, and finishes his third glass.
The television centers in on Florida. A red trajectory cone that was pointed at the panhandle yesterday has shifted south. Way south.
“Shit.”
The others follow her gaze.
The meteorologist’s voice finds its way across the bar to them, “This might remind some of our long-time viewers of Ian back in ‘22, or even Charley in ‘04, if you were around back then—”
“Checking our flight.” Parviz already has his phone out. A moment later they all get the notification: canceled.
“What do we do?” Tumelo asks. “I’m from a landlocked country.”
“Do we have someone who can go to the lab and get the hurricane shutters down?” Anusha asks.
Julia nods, already swiping through her contacts.
The room she’s splitting with Anusha has two oversized blue beds, stylized wall art of orcas and salmon by a local indigenous printmaker, and an inset television that takes up most of the widest wall.
All they can do is watch.
Watch as the too-warm water of the Gulf of Mexico feeds the hurricane enough to grow from category four to category five.
And in the morning, after barely sleeping, all they can do is watch, still in their pajamas, Anusha’s hand over her mouth in shock, Julia too frozen with her arm around Anusha to answer Tumelo’s knock on their door, as a category six makes landfall.
Julia’s mom has a hundred million mugs. There’s one from their Grand Canyon trip when she was nine, one each from all five tech companies Mom built apps for in the ‘20s, and of course the one from Bermuda that Julia gave her when she went for research as a grad student. There’s a dolphin on it. Like her favorite Florida mug back at the lab. The one that’s probably at the bottom of Charlotte Harbor now with everything else.
Julia pushes the dolphin mug back into the crowded cupboard and grabs the two handmade ones they found at a garage sale once when she was seventeen. She fills them up with coffee and meets Mom out on the side deck, where the late-spring sun has warmed the air enough that she can barely see the steam rise off their drinks.
“Ooh, you brought coffee! See, this is why you’re my favorite.”
“Ha. I’m your only.” She can’t quite bring herself to smile back, but she tries.
“You know I think I saw a fluke out there,” Mom says, pointing with her chin while she cups the hot mug with both hands. “Couple spouts.”
To the west, past a swathe of blooming coastal prairie and a grove of twisty windblown pines, the cold Pacific Ocean crashes into the state of Oregon, gnawing off a chunk with every wave.
Julia grunts, and sips her coffee, leaning back into the wooden deck chair.
“You know,” Mom says, “They still do those whale watching trips I used to take you on in town. Different folks running it, nice couple though. I could book us—”
“Mom, stop. I don’t want to go whale watching.”
“I know.” Mom sighs. “You’re depressed. I get it.” She sets her mug down on the little rusting table that she’s kept out here for twenty years. “But honey, this is your life’s work. You’ve got to get back up on your feet. It’s been six months.”
“Are you sick of me already?”
“Never! But Julia, seriously. There has to be something you can do instead of sitting around here playing video games all day.”
“I’m not . . . .” Who is she kidding? Every few days she brings out a VR headset with the intention of re-watching Squawker’s old recordings, the ones saved to the cloud, taking notes or something, maybe getting a new insight. But every time she puts it on, she stares at the folder for a few minutes, and inevitably opens Elder Scrolls VII instead, where she can be a hot elf mage with easily definable and imminently achievable problems to solve for the rest of the day.
“Yeah I thought so,” Mom replies to Julia’s trailed-off thought.
DOLPHIN SINKING.
“What’s the point, Mom? What’s the fucking point of trying to talk to dolphins when people are killed and displaced by the millions in these floods, and storms, and fires, and plagues? Every fucking year. I should be helping with the rewilding efforts out here, or doing climate science, or joining the protests or doing eco-terrorism, anything, anything that actually might help slow this planet’s fucking freefall.”
“Honey,” Mom says. “Leave the ‘eco-terrorism’ to the pros.” She winks. Julia suddenly wonders where she really was all last week, but before she can finish that thought, Mom continues, “I can’t believe I’m the one who has to tell you this, but dolphins are people too. And we share the same fucked up world. And they still need you.”
How can I help anybody when I’m the one drowning?
Julia’s phone vibrates in the pocket of her sweatpants. She sighs and takes a peek. Parviz. He’s been volunteering with the recovery effort since it started, texting her photos every few days that she can’t bear to look at. But this time it’s a phone call.
“Answer it!” Mom says.
She rolls her eyes, and does.
“Jules!” Parviz sounds different. Brighter. Sober. “You’re not gonna believe it. We found Squawker!”
The Charlotte’s Web, patched up from its encounter with a downtown Punta Gorda sports bar, sputters to a slow drift out near the debris-strewn strip of sand that was Boca Grande a year ago.
Parviz leans on the rail by Julia, joining her in awe of the destruction. There are no words for it.
But it’s not why they’re here.
“Wish Tumelo was with us for this,” he says.
“I’m working on their visa,” Julia replies, brushing a windblown curl out of her eyes. “If this is our pod, maybe we can get some funding, speed it up a little.”
Assuming the pod made it through the storm. Assuming Summer, or any of them, still remembers Squawker. Assuming any dolphin gives a shit and has the patience to start teaching them again.
“Hey!” Anusha yells from the cabin, pulling her headphones to the side. “I got the signature whistles! Three matches so far!”
If one of them was Summer, Anusha would have said so. Julia’s heart starts pounding anyway. Any familiar dolphin is better than none, and they were all interested in Squawker at first. Maybe it’s been long enough the novelty effect will work again.
But Summer . . . . She might still turn up. No reason to assume the worst.
“There they are!” Parviz points and grins wide.
Julia sees them. Three dorsal fins slip through the water, then another two, one so small it’s barely visible. A new calf.
She wonders what the little one’s signature whistle sounds like.
“They’re gonna be so stoked to see Squawker again,” Parviz says.
Where’s Summer?
When the drone is in the water, Julia heads to the cabin, where Anusha hands her the headset and makes room on the small bench. Their new onboard equipment is a joke compared to what they lost, but it’s all they can afford for now, and the Charlotte’s Web is the closest thing they have left to a lab.
Through Squawker’s cameras, she sees the dolphins in the distance. And the rubble on the sea floor, stretching as far as the blue-gray visibility allows today. Mailboxes, planks of wood, entire cars, palm trees with dead algae-laden fronds still on them, swaying in the current where they stick out from the sand.
And a few fish. Maybe, if the Gulf wasn’t too warm and too acidic, a coral reef would grow out of the ruins, over time.
She sends out a call to the pod, an image of Squawker. Maybe someone will recognize it.
A couple dolphins turn to look, and she’s hit with a barrage of echolocation clicks. One swims toward her, fast.
The rendered visuals are low poly and the translation lags, but the message is unmistakable.
SUMMER-DOLPHIN AND SQUAWKER SWIMMING TOGETHER.
It’s her. Julia catches her relief in her throat. “It’s Summer!” she says out loud, and sends Summer’s message back as quickly as she can. Parviz and Anusha cheer.
“I’m texting Tumelo!” Anusha says.
Summer slides against the drone excitedly, knocking it off-kilter for a moment in a dolphin version of a bear hug. Then she hovers in the water, in front of Squawker’s front cameras, and unloads.
SUMMER-DOLPHIN SWIMMING [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. SHARKS EATING SQUAWKER. SQUAWKER CAUGHT IN NET. BOAT EATING SQUAWKER. HUMAN SHOOTING SQUAWKER.
Was she . . . worried about the drone? She goes on.
SUMMER-DOLPHIN ALONE, SWIMMING IN EVERY DIRECTION [LOW CONFIDENCE]. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. BOATS SINKING. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. HUMANS SINKING. DEBRIS [LOW CONFIDENCE] SINKING. TREES SINKING.
There’s a layer to the visuals that looks like something from the weather category. This is what the hurricane was like for her, it has to be.
Summer still isn’t done. SUMMER-DOLPHIN [UNINTELLIGIBLE] SQUAWKER. SUMMER-DOLPHIN LIFTING SQUAWKER TO THE SURFACE. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. SQUAWKER [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. SQUAWKER SINKING. SUMMER-DOLPHIN [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. SUMMER-DOLPHIN PUSHING SQUAWKER TO LAND. SUMMER-DOLPHIN SWIMMING ALONE. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. SUMMER-DOLPHIN WITH POD [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
“Damn, Summer.” Parviz says. He must be watching the cabin monitor. “Am I seeing this right? Did she go looking for Squawker after the storm and . . . .”
“She tried to help it by lifting it up to the surface,” Anusha says, in awe. “It’s what she would do with a sick calf, but . . . she also knows Squawker eats sunlight.”
“And then when Squawker still wouldn’t talk to her, she brought it to shore,” Julia says.
“Maybe thinking humans could help it?” Anusha wonders. “Maybe she knows we made it after all.”
“We found Squawker on the beach near the lab,” Parviz says. “Fuck. This explains why no one noticed it on the first pass. She hadn’t rescued it yet.”
It takes a moment to sink in.
“How do dolphins thank each other?” Julia breathes.
No one has an answer. Not yet. Not for years, if years are something they still have.
She has far more to thank Summer for than just saving Squawker.
Getting back out here, facing all their ruined equipment, all the ruined lives and homes. Joining Parviz and Anusha in the volunteer efforts while they were waiting for the boat’s repairs. Seeing the restaurant owners and fishermen and the people from the laundromat, all the neighbors of the lab who she never gave a second thought before, all working together to rebuild, stopping in the rubble to contain their sudden tears. She only came back to be a part of that because Summer saved her drone.
Summer’s endless patience, curiosity, collaboration . . . they’ve kept Julia afloat so many times.
And the simple fact that Summer’s always seemed to want to learn, to bridge the gap between them, just as much Julia . . . .
She leans against the hard wall of the cabin and bites her lower lip to hold back the tide of feelings.
Summer waits for her response, head cocked, eyes searching the cameras.