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Minalas sa Batangas: Maalat na pamagat, mahabag sa di-payat
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
Sa isang hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, pareho lang pala kami ng gusto ni Ely Buendia: Sunugin ang tulay.
Mayroon akong ideyang gustong ibahagi sa’yo. May napulot akong litanyang gusto ko sanang ipadama sa’yo, ngunit natatakot sa kadahilanang magmukang masyado akong madrama. Pero ano’t ano pa man, hindi na rin siguro mapipigilan ang nag-iisang paraan ng pagpapahayag na aking nalalaman.
Bumalik tayo ng ilang taon; mga panahong bituka ng pusa ang kinakalikot at hindi ko pa nakikilala ang usok na masarap masinghot. Nahulog ang damdamin sa isang usapin, niyakap ang ideya at niromansa ko ang pag-asa. Naniwala ako sa bula at Star Cinema, na ‘pag nagtapat ang tapat ay may katapat na magandang payat, mali ako.
Simula pa lang ng lakad ay mabagal na ang usad. Sandamakmak ang babala at paalala; may sumampal, may dumuwal at may nagbansag na hangal. Hindi ako nakinig, ilang taon akong nawalan ng kaniig.
Pinilit ‘kong bumangon pero pinigilan ng pagkakataon. Mga bagay na itinapon ay muli ‘kong inipon, sinalsal ang katagang babalik din lahat sa umpisa, at sabay tayong uuwing may dalang siopao para sa mga bata.
Walang naganap na alapaap at umuwi akong may agihap, nang marinig ko ang mga kantyaw ay paos na ‘kong humiyaw, hindi na ‘ko makabitaw, peklat na lang dati nating pantangal ng ginaw.
Ngunit ano mang lalim ng galis ay may panahong kayang magwalis, at unti-unti, natutunan ‘kong umalis na walang bahid ng inis.
Natutunan ‘kong kumalma sa mga gabing alam ‘kong may kanya-kanya tayong kasama, natuto akong pumikit sa mga pagkakataong masyado ng masakit at inaral ‘kong maging bingi sa mga tanghaling naghahanap ka ng kausap at kapanaghili.
Pero hindi ikaw ‘to.
Eto: Masaya ang mga buwang nagdaan at gabing napag-usapan. Nasasabik pa rin ako sa mga planong pinaghandaa’t pinapantasya ko pa ring magsama tayong dalawa kahit lamang sa isang misa, sa pagdalaw ng Santo Papa, sa Regional sa Pampanga, bahay na pula, SM Baliuag o di kaya’y sa teatro kung saan maraming mga matatalinong mapangmata.
Darating din siguro ang panahon nating kakain tayo ng French fries sa McDo, ng itlog na maalat sa turo-turo o di kaya’y tatambay sa deair-con na tindahan ng libro.
Pero h’wag muna ngayon. Kung hindi ka pa nakakalimot, kung may nalalabi pa sa’yong poot, kung may nakikita ka pa ring pag-asa. Pag-isipan mo na lang muna kung handa ka na, at alamin mo na rin siguro kung handa na siya.
Dahil wala akong balak na turuan ‘kong lumimot, at hindi ako nanggagamot ng pusong makikirot sa kadahilanang ang akin di’y balot pa rin ng lumot.
Kaya ‘kong maghintay pero ayokong maging alalay ng mga damdaming maga. Mag-usap na lang tayo ‘pag ang damdamin mo’y lipas, at tapos na ang ala-ala ng mga minalas sa Batangas.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo
Past10: 2004-14 PBA Draft Review 2005
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
More than a month from now, PBA will welcome a new crop of rookies to join our beloved league. And for unemployed dicks like me, maybe it’s better to take a look at the past 10 draft batches we have seen so far. Please note that we will try to assemble a team with all the different batches.
2005: Draft of the Divas
It is not a sport’s myth that what comes with impeccable talent are attitudes, nay, bad attitude. There are athletes who have unreasonable demands, rally the management for unfair tra’des, get under a teammates’ skin or simply create off-court travesties.
With a do-it-all Fil-Am forward as its prime protagonist, the 2005 class definitely needs its guidance counselor. Be it skipping practices or jockeying up ill-advised shots, this draft certainly has no shortcomings. But then again the talent, that oh-so-talent, was impeccable.
Starting 5: Good luck with the Coach
Anthony Washington- 1st over-all pick- Air21 Express
Current Team: GlobalPort Batang Pier
Notable achievement/s: Best Player of the Conference (’10-’11, ’09-‘10)
Appearing to be motivated in every GPBP game
Career Stats: 12.9ppg 7rpg
Once in a drinking session, me and my stoned friends would come up of PBA players’ monickers just to satisfy our cravings for… I don’t know. And in those conversations often came up Washington’s: The Washing Machine.
The nickname was- and is- awful. But his career? No way.
Washington is a brute forward who has since rediscovered his outside touch. Injuries may prevent him to relay on his athletic prowess more often, but this former No. 1 over-all pick will always find a way. Gone now were the days of dispute with teammates (Arwind Santos?) for playing time, J. Wash rejuvenates his career with the lowly Batang Pier. A proof of that is his recent tenure donning national colors.
KG Canaleta- 6th over-all pick- Air21 Express 
Current Team: Air21 Express (soon to be NLEX)
Notable achievement/s: Most Improved Player (’12-13)
Slama-jama King
Career Stats: 9.8ppg 3.8rpg
Explosive slam-dunks paved the way for the then newbie Canaleta to be recognized by the public. Here he is, an almost-afro with athleticism only rivaled by Kelly Williams (that’s a sad story my friend) with legit shooting touch and the height. Surely, he could just be one of the cornerstones of the Air21 franchise.
But then the Lina’s stayed true to it’s word of becoming SMC’s farmteam, and now KG is being ship to the gigantic franchise. KG drowned in the deep benches of Derby Ace Llamados and Ginebra, and as expected his minutes suffered.
Recently enjoying a career-best two-year stretch with the Express, will KG once again revived his trade-baiting self, or will he find himself at home in MVP’s turf?
Larry Fonacier- 14th over-all pick- Red Bull Barako
Current Team: Talk and Text Tropang Texters
Notable achievement/s: Finals MVP (’11-’12), Rookie of the Year (’05)
Why are you so babyface?
Career Stats: 8ppg 3rpg 2apg
Do you still remember what I wrote about Sonny Thoss on the previous entry? Replaced The Boss’ name with Larry, and the big guy things with “knocking down open-3s, providing a tenacious D and hitting those timely mid-range”, and that’s my entry for Larry F.
Mark Cardona- 5th over-all pick- Air21 Express 
Current Team: Air21 Express
Notable achievement/s: Finals MVP (’08-’09), BPC (’06-’07)
Becoming the prefect villain
Career Stats: 15ppg 4rpg 2apg
To say that Cardona is just another scoring 2 who is defensive liability is a n understatement. Captain Hook is the anti-thesis of the crowd-darlings of Ginebra, of the silent-type boy-next-door yuppies of SanMig and of the blue-collared warriors of the Yeng Guiao’s.
Cardona’s scoring prowess is accurately matched by his antics (“Ano’ng height mo”) and swag. When he’s hot, he’ll let the whole coliseum know about it. Though he appears to be on a decline for an eternity (from 18ppg in ’10-’11 to 15.8 in ’12 down to 12ppg in ’13, and sadly, 9ppg this year), always count on him for 1 or 2 explosive outings to be showered by boos.
Alex Cabagnot- 2nd over-all pick- Sta. Lucia Realtors
Current Team: GlobalPort Batang Pier
Notable achievement/s: 2nd All-PBA Team (’12-’13)
THAT girlfriend
Career Stats: 11ppg 5.5apg 4rpg
The Cool Whip certainly knows a thing or two about passing to the right guy. His on-court vision is top-notch and so his shooting touch. Though his crunchman days are over (GBPB is often declared loss by the start of the 4th), he can still knockdown buckets after buckets whenever possible.
But whenever you have on your roster, you knew off-court issues will be ablaze. From being suspended by his mother team (Sta. Lucia Realtors?) to altercations with fellow teammates (Arwind Santos?), this Whip has some straightening to do.
2nd unit: Rough and rugged
Denok Miranda- 3rd over-all pick- Coca-Cola Tigers 
Current Team: Barako Bull Pussies
Notable achievement/s: That bicep
Career stats: 7ppg 3rpg 3apg
Whenever Miranda’s on the court, prepare yourself for some grind-out basketball. Defense and toughness are his bread and butter, as he appears to be more of a wrecking ball disguised as a point guard. Sta. Lucia’s premier point guard during it’s peak (1 championship to boot), Miranda definitely has some gas left on his hefty tank.
Jondan Salvador- 4th over-all pick- Purefoods Chunkee Giants 
Current Team: GlobalPort Batang Pier
Notable achievement/s: A bicep larger than Miranda’s
Career stats: 3.9ppg 5rpg
This smooth-faced tisoy banger may not provide you with eye-popping stats nor highlight reels, but what Salvador provides a team is tenacity and physicality unlike any other big men in this league.
Paolo Hubalde- 8th over-all pick- San Miguel Beermen
Current Team: San Miguel Beermen
Notable achievement/s: Being a survivor
Career stats: 4ppg 2rpg 2apg
Laughed all your ass off but for the past 9 years that we’ve been doing nothing meaningful with our lives, Hubalde is playing in the PBA. Hubalde may just be your typical 3rd string point guard, except that he made it for 9 strong years.
Leo Najorda- 9th over-all pick- Red Bull Barako
Current Team: GlobalPort Batang Pier
Notable achievement/s: The nasty mid-range jumper
Career stats: 6.5ppg 3rpg
If there’s a typical Guiao bruiser, then Najorda is your reliable Guio wingman. Long, lanky but never backs down from anyone, this former Stag has definitely come a long way. Oh, he has that deadly jumper too. 
Mark Macapagal- 18th over-all pick- Talk and Text Phone Pals
Current Team: GlobalPort Batang Pier
Notable achievement/s: THE Hairstyle
Career stats: 6.9ppg
If Macapagal made a career out of launching triples, then maybe those kanto-boys PBA hopefuls should start practicing their treys instead of copying Caguioa’s crossover. Hey, it’s easier to be a Macapagal than a Caguioa.
Notable guy: Paolo Bugia 
Analysis as a roster: On paper, this may look like a strong team. A legit center (Salvador), nice forward (Washington), scorers (Canaleta, Cardona) and a pass-first floor general (Cabagnot). But realistically, we’ve seen this line-up exploded before.
Interestingly, the 1st 3 picks of this draft (Washington, Cabagnot, Miranda) had all played in SMC’s mother team (Petron/SanMiguel). And we all know what happened to that right?
On another interesting side note, 5 guys from this entry (Washington, Cabagnot, Salvador, Najorda, Macapagal) are currently playing for GlobalPort Batang Pier, a team that won 2 games… in 2 conferences.
Ouch.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo PBA
Past10: 2004-14 PBA Draft Review
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
More than a month from now, PBA will welcome a new crop of rookies to join our beloved league. And for unemployed dicks like me, maybe it’s better to take a look at the past 10 draft batches we have seen so far. Please note that we will try to assemble a team with all the different batches.
2004: Stars have aligned
If play-offs are the factories where superstars and heroes are made, then it’s safe to say that the draft is well, some kind of a womb, or better, an ultrasound picture of greatness. This draft class live up to that hype, bannered by the pretty boys from Ateneo and University of the East, the latter and the rest of his batchmates lived up to their potentials with a signature play-off moment and International playing stints of their own.
Starting 5: No, this is not my proposal for a Gilas 5
Sonny Thoss-5th over-all pick-Alaska Aces 
Current Team: Alaska Aces
Notable achievement/s: All PBA 1st Team (’10-11, ’09-10)
Making Abueva recognize him as The Boss
Career stats: 9ppg 6.7rpg
The Boss stats may not make your eye pop. Nor does his on-court demeanor any semblance of Junmar Fajardo or Asi Taulava. But you ever wonder why he is always high on any opposing PBA coaches’ list? Basketball IQ. Thoss will make the cut, do the roll, hit a jumper, post a defender and draws a charge just when you need it the most. In this league of ours when 2 out of 3 conferences suck-up the playing time of every big men, Thoss never goes out of the picture.
Ranidel DeOcampo-4th over-all pick- FedEx Express
Current Team: Talk and Text Tropang Texters
Notable achievement/s: Best Player of the Conference (’13-’14 Governor’s Cup)
Will have the chance of giving his elbow in Spain
Career Stats: 12ppg 6rpg 
One of Air21’s original dukot-boys (alongside Arwind Santos and the great Homer Se), Ranidel DeOcampo is more than just a bruiser/elbow specialist with a fine shooting. Mr. Wonderful is a high-breed of what PBA forwards of today are: can bang ala Extra Rice Inc., incorporates a distinct swag of his own and with a dead-eye jumper Paul Aratadi can only dreamed of.
Marc Pingris- 3rd over-all pick- FedEx Express
Current Team: SanMig Coffee Mixers
Notable achievement/s: Defensive Player of the Year (’12-’13, ’05-‘06)
A potential showbiz career
Career Stats: 8ppg 7.3rpg
Early on in his PBA career, Pingris’ already showed flashes of brilliance, nay, ruggedness. Then he went on to play for Ryan Gregorio and boom, a defensive stud was born.
Ping’s skillset is a prototype of an undersized PBA forward- positions himself nicely for rebounds, takes the charge, hustles and dives for loose balls, provide crisp screens and scores via offensive rebound- only thing is, he is not undersized and his heart is the size of Mikee Romero’s ego. The strength of the Pinoy Sakuragi lies in his limitless energy and unrivaled passion towards the game we all love.
Gary David-10th over-all pick- Coca-Cola Tigers
Current Team: Meralco Bolts
Notable achievement/s: Best Player of the Conference (’11-’12 Philippine Cup), 2 time scoring champ (’12-13, ’11-‘12)
Can boast to himself that he should have Mark Caguioa’s MVP trophy
Career Stats: 17ppg in 29mpg
It took Gary two years to establish himself as a premier scoring cog in this league. And come to his 3rd year, oh boy, Gary blew everyone’s mind. From 6ppg to his rookie campaign with slight increase of 9ppg in his sophomore stint, El Granada introduce himself to the big leagues by averaging 20ppg in Bo Perasol’s runnin’ and gunnin’ Express .
Couple of years and injuries after, the Bataan Bomber found himself reunited with his former coach and now backed-up by talented rookies- Marcio Lassiter and Jvee Casio- a Cinderella run was made (dubbed as Tigerella) with Talk and Text acting as the midnight reality.
Nevertheless, that run made Gary a household PBA name. Reminding everyone that he’s not just a volume shooter but a star to its very definition. David’s game adapt to the times; his free spirited Air21 days made him famous for death defying drives (Mr. Pure Energy!) and come the time that Father clock is not his side no more, he morphed into a Ray Allen shooting spree.
A ring would definitely put a stamp to his wonderful career.
James Yap- 2nd over-all pick- Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdogs 
Current Team: SanMig Super Coffee Mixers
Notable achievement/s: Most Valuable Player (’09-’10, ’05-‘06), FinalsMVP (too many to mention)
Banging Kris Aquino and that hot Italian chic
Career stats: 16.3ppg 4.2rpg
I often laughed my ass off when I saw memes questioning Yap’s ability as a basketball player. Yes, his level of play decreases, his field goal percentage falling down blah, blah, blah, but when it matters most, the King delivers.
His initial burst onto the league saw him as fiery scorer with a deadly turn-around mid-range jumper. His strength and speed allows him to drive shaded lanes at ease and his nerves, never shatters when the game is on the line.
Better sportswriters have written accounts of the King’s legend, google them.
2nd unit: When the first pick and the Rookie of the Year of a draft class didn’t made it to the first team of a trying-hard blogger, you know that such draft class is a deep one.
Rich Alvarez- 1st over-all pick- Shell Turbo Chargers
Current Team: I don’t know
Notable achievement/s: Rookie of the Year (2004)
Making Kyla a hot mama
Career stats: 4.5 ppg 4.8 rpg
If not for his rookie season, Alvarez may end up as our Sam Bowie to James Yap’s Jordanesque. But in all basketball sense, Alvarez is a decent basketball player who is a rotation guy at best.
Willy Wilson- 15th over-all pick- Alaska Aces 
Current Team: Barako Bull
Notable achievement/s: All Defensive Team (’10-‘11)
Sticking around the league
Career stats: 4.2ppg 3.8rpg
Wilson is an undersized forward in an undersized league. But on any given night, he will fight for possessions as if he’s a 6’6’’ 250 pounder. This guy is center in a guard’s height. Think of Chuck Hayes with a better heart condition.
Carlos Sharma- 12th over-all pick- Shell Turbo Chargers
Current Team: Air21 Express
Notable achievement/s: Becoming an over-all better basketball player than his brother… so far.
Career stats: 5.9ppg 3.9rpg
Remember 6’6’’ 250 pounder I mentioned earlier? That’s Sharma. This De La Salle product possess the genetics of a Yeng Guiao bruiser. When he sees the court, prepare your body for some physicality.
Paul Artadi- 11th over-all pick- Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdogs
Current Team: Meralco Bolts
Notable achievement/s: Becoming James Yap’s bestfriend
Career stats: 4.8ppg 2.4apg 1spg
There was a time in the league when we called Artadi the Kid Lightning to Yap’s Boy Thunder. Owww. Artadi will be the final evolution of Justin Melton if the QuickMelt would only relay to his athleticism. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as the guy formerly known as Kid Lightning has proven himself to the league as a viable energizer/3rd string of a point guard.
Nelbert Omolon-8th pick- Sta. Lucia Realtors 
Current Team: Free agent
Notable achievement/s: All PBA 2nd Team (’07-‘08)
Not changing his facial expression during a game
Career stats: 8.2ppg 4rpg
Do you remember the Tolomia’s, Calimag’s and the Catli’s of Sta. Lucia? Yes, Omolon was part of it and he’s the best among the rest. Though Omolon’s best days as a vital contributor in the Kelly Williams-Ryan Reyes resurging Realtor’s era are over, he can still contribute given the proper minutes.
Trivia: This guy once scored 40 points in a PBA game, google it.
Other notable guys: Wesley Gonzales, Warren Ybanez
Analysis as a roster: Despite the lack of a true point guard, the starting 5 would be a killer. Every opponent who’d score on the shaded lane in front of Ping, Ranidel and Thoss should be rewarded by 5 points. Sharma and Wilson would always be there once a fight ensued, and count on Bitoy Omolon to sneak a couple of baskets here and there. Oops. We also have Yap and David here. Good luck to the opposing perimeter defenders.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo PBA
Ravelismo 20s: 20 WWE Storylines I would love to see pt.2
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
1. You’re Welcome: Sandow’s Own Segment
Remember the reason on why we first fell in love with the wrestler formerly known as Idol Stevens? I do. Sandow is a gifted talker. He can insult you at the very last string of your moral fiber, yet it will leave you smiling wondering how the hell he does that.
Now that WWE lost one of its gifted talker in the name of Phil Brooks, maybe the time is ripe for Sandow to do the talking.
2. The Samoans: The Rock, Roman Reigns and The Usos 
All of the aforementioned guys are gifted wrestlers, with each of them having their own styles. Reigns is an athletic big man with a rare combination of technical prowess of strength, The Usos with their speed and ability to deliver quality spots and their newfound charisma. While The Rock is a legend in the business, you can never go wrong with this faction.
The easiest way to book this faction is for WWE to revisit their Samoan roots, rival them with a racist mouthpiece (How are you Mr. Colter?) and you got yourself a money-making face team!
Oh, imagine The Rock turning over Reigns, what a push for The Shield’s muscle.
3. Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella as The Power Couple
Brie Bella can’t wrestle, though I do not mind teaching her a thing or two at my bedroom. Anyway, this storyline would definitely stretch Bryan’s time at the top. Imagine Bryan defending Bella from her competition, in return garnering heat amongst the WWEUniverse.
As much as we love a face Bryan, a heel Bryan is something inevitable. 
4. RAW vs. Smackdown 
This is so outdated. With so many talents on the roster right now, creating a rivalry between the two brands will be a good thing.
5. The Authority- Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Kane, The Ascension
I was actually supposed to write The Shield instead of The Ascension, but as time goes by and as the buzz around the NXT Tag stand-outs remains at full-volume, maybe we should give the guys a chance.
A perfect way to introduce them would be as partners of Kane in his rumored Wrestlemania clash against The Hounds of Justice. The Ascension’s persona is a perfect fit to Kane’s, so this pairing wouldn’t be that far fetch. 
6. Midcard Prestige
God, when is Ambrose going to defend his U.S. Title? Yeah, yeah, Big E.’s title reign is explosive at first but admit it, it’s getting stale now. 
How can WWE bring back its prestige? Glad you ask. I sincerely believe that quality matches can elevate the midcard title, regardless of the storylines. See, WWE will invest majority of its TV time telling a stale story on how Cena and/or Sheamus will beat the odds, but would withdraw its balls to at least decently announce a midcard title bout.
Let there be gimmick matches for these titles! Ladder Match for IC, Elimination Chamber bout for the U.S. title, a 2-out-of-3 falls match to exchange belts!
I really believe that a great storyline is not a pre-requisite for the resurging prestige of the midcard scene, just good ‘ol wrestling.
Since we’re on the subject, I don’t really understand why the IWC blow it’s ass off whenever the midcard belts were not defended on a pay-per-view. It’s a prerogative that the two major title should be defended at every PPV, but the midcard should not be that way.
What’s the purpose of Night of Champions? Idiot.
7. Revolt of the Indies
CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Cesaro, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan and a dozen at NXT roster. These are just the random names of guys who are currently on WWE roster (with the exception of CM Punk) who have prominent background in independent wrestling circuit. 
Let me quote the great Brodus Clay on this last sentence: They’re all main-event players.
8. New Straight Edge Society 
If and when Punk decided to come back, maybe he should bring back this gimmick that would allow him to stick to our dirty throats his lifestyle.
9. New Crop of Stars
Despite the presence of part-timers in this season, WWE is doing a good job in creating newer stars for my generation (ahem).
The Shield and The Wyatt Family are busy creating their rivalry of the year matches, while Daniel Bryan’s popularity is on a rise that might rival that of Cena’s. The Uso’s are finally getting the reap of their hard work while Big E. and Cesaro is making everyone realize that size can be synonymous to athleticism.
Cody Rhodes too had his fair share of spotlight though now on a downward slope, Damien Sandow and Dolph Ziggler still gets huge pops whenever they enter the arena. 
WWE should keep these guys on t.v., as the future is coming.
10. Non-title feuds for John Cena
Let’s face it: Cena himself is already a title. With that being said, what’s the point of putting him on the title picture?
His current feud with Bray Wyatt is viewed by many as a potential classic and with the promos they’ve been cutting recently, they are on a right track. The match-up can extend with Cena forming his own team (more on that later), that should be good.
The leader of Cenation can feud with Undertaker,
the returning Batista, 
or even Alexander Rusev (if booked properly). 
11. No more title unifications
Though the idea of Daniel Bryan holding two belts is very enticing, the title picture is getting crowded. WWE should just move on from this.
12. Let NXT be what it is 
With rumors going rampant of NXT becoming some sort of a B-brand (ala-Smackdown), WWE Officials should remember the first reason on why we fans put our faith on NXT.
NXT is a reminiscent of what ECW is, of what independent wrestling is, on National television.
13. United Nations Faction
With the growing number of foreign nationals occupying the WWE mat, maybe it’s time for a foreign theme group to be formed.
We have the Swiss Cesaro, 
Irish Sheamus, Mexican Del Rio 
, English Barrett 
and the Scottish Drew McIntyre. Imagine them approaching the ring with their respective flags feuding with a face Real Americans.
14. The Pink Briefcase: MITB for Diva’s Title 
A division so deranged anything you’d do to make them appear on television should be an improvement.
This should be good.
15. Triple Threat TLC Match for Tag Team Straps: The Usos, Rhodes-Goldust, The Real Americans
Comparing this bout to the TLC Match of Edge and Christian, Hardy Boyz and The Dudleys is something uncalled for. What this team would offer is a variety of style.
The Usos’s will bring crazy spots and high flying maneuver, The Real Americans’ strength and athleticism will be critical while The Rhodes-Goldust connection will be pivotal in creating a technical slugfest.
16. Cenation as a faction 
Cena’s day as a singles star might be reaching its halt. So before the time that seeing Cena wrestles becomes painful, WWE should reinvent the preacher of hustle, loyalty and respect.
A heel Cena would be very interesting, but WWE might not have the testicles to pull it off. With, we present to you the Cenation.
The Boston grappler should have wrestlers on his side not necessarily wearing the same merch his donning, but a group that would live and breathe his mottos.
17. Heel Sheamus 
Months before Sheamus injured his shoulder, he is already receiving a John Cena-type-of-hate from hardcore WWE fans. There he is, an Irishman who loves to fight and in a strange coincidence, loves to crack corny jokes that even Michael Cole would have hard time digging.
Sheamus is an aggressive warrior, a brute fella, a force to reckon and a smasher with license to break your bones.
Make him heel, please.
18. Push Cody!
Though his recent run against The Authority is nothing but spectacular, he still done it with Goldust on his side. Slowly but surely, a championship run should be in the works for the dashing Cody Rhodes.
19. Corporate Kane with Corporate promos 
The guy loves to read, talks about politics and even had his own podcast to discuss real issues. Sure, give him the mic in WWE and let him cut promos like a corporate douchebag.
20. Out the part-timers
Imagine yourself working your ass-off in the office. Clinching all important deals, creating sales record after sales record, maintaining perfect attendance while keeping your sanity in the jungle, then all of a sudden, a hot shot from a prestige University we’ll be your boss while the owners are out on a vacation trip.
Repeat that every year, and you are now allowed to cut a pipebomb at your office.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo Wrestling, Ravelismo WWE
Ravelismo Wrestling: My Elimination Chamber
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
Royal Rumble 2014 is a mess.
If the Rumble is the last pay-per-view before Wrestlemania, then fuck it, Wrestlemania might be a failure this year. But hell no, there’s still Elimination Chamber to save the day.
With numerous reports circulating that Punk’s absence might be a reality, Elimination Chamber really have to step it up in order to provide the necessary excitement for ‘Mania.
There we go. Allow me to share with you what I want to see in this upcoming pay-per-view based on the outcome of the previous Rumble.
WWE Events before Elimination Chamber (RAW, Smackdown, Main Event, Superstars etc.)
Big E. Langston should look strong, again. Late last year, the former NXT Champ is enjoying a massive push from WWE as a babyface monster. Despite the push’s resemblance to Ryback’s Feed me more days, there were no Goldberg chants thrown at the power lifter.
He actually deserves it. He is a far better wrestler than Ryback, more athletic and a better talker than the guy who proclaimed to have an unlimited energy. Along with Reigns, many have predicted for Big E. to have a massive 2014, and the Rumble as a stage for him to conquer.
Roman did reign (what an awful pun) with a record-breaking elimination, but Big E. seems like an afterthought.
He should now look as dominant as ever. Not dominant in squash matches fashion, but dominant by staging good to great lengthy matches to legit wrestlers not dancers who were eliminated by a bull. Big E. should wrestle night in and night out against different WWE Superstars.
Multiple Interests in IC Title. Since there’s only one major WWE Champion, the title picture is getting a little bit crowded. Why not let the vets scramble for the IC Title for a while? 
I don’t see anything wrong with this. If Langston would defend his strap against the likes of Christian, Alberto Del Rio or even RVD, wouldn’t that bring a little more prestige to the title?
Plus, those matches are a sure-fire match of the year candidate.
Ambrose should drop the title to a veteran before Elimination Chamber. I will never touch the subject of unifying two mid-card titles, I don’t like it now.
Anyway, Ambrose’s reign is getting stale, and he’s not even defending it!
He should now drop it for the division to find a new life. Unfortunately, no new Superstar seems to be on the verge of a push worthy of a strap, so a veteran would be safe bet.
The veteran should be a solid face whom can generate a thunderous pop, with mic skills that can match Ambrose’s. Furthermore, that wrestler should also be willing to push a co-wrestler come Wrestlemania, dropping the title in the process.
Chris Jericho!
A tension should be created between Cody Rhodes and Goldust. It has been teased already, with The Bizaare One being more likely becoming a heel. The Brotherhood should keep on losing close matches with Cody getting the best out of opponents only for Goldust losing the match. 
Cody should show patience with his aging brother, with Goldust displaying his insecurities and mistaking Cody’s concern as an insult.
More tag and 3-on-3 matches. The Wyatt Family 
and The Shield have been proving themselves as main-eventers. The Usos and The Real Americans are solid teams while despite being relegated to being a comedic role, 3MB and Los Matadores are still good for what they are.
There’s also the team of Big Show and Mysterio and RybAxel that despite their lack of crowd connection, are still solid in-ring performers.
Why not team Ziggler with Kofi? Barrett and Miz? And all other midcarders who are dying to get into the ring?
Oh, there’s The Tag Team Players too.
The Shield should still be an intact group. The Hounds of Justice make a career out of making unexpected moves, sneaking themselves to a well-crafted storyline and creating an atmosphere of indecisiveness. 
With that being said, The Shield’s inevitable split should come as a surprise. Their departure has already been planted to numerous pay-per-views and that’s enough. What they have to do now is erase all doubts and just when everyone thought they’re in it for good, wham.
Wrestlemania anyone?
Batista will tease Orton’s abilities for an Elimination Chamber match. The Animal’s Rumble victory creates problems for the WWE. Nobody wanted a Batista-Orton clash again and if Batista forfeit his Wrestlemania clause against The Viper, The Rumble might look like a joke hence losing its credibility.
With that being said, the Orton-Batista should be booked at the Chamber pay-per-view as a one-on-one match.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar will mock Undertaker. 
Though they do not really need a Paul Heyman to ignite a rivalry between the two, it’s always a good time whenever the Walrus is holding the microphone.
Contender’s Match. Since Batista is already putting his Wrestlemania slot for an Elimination Chamber title match, The Chamber is a perfect way to identify the Number One contender for the World Heavyweight Championship.
YES! YES! YES!
Elimination Chamber pay-per-view
Elimination Chamber Match for Intercontinental Championship
Big E. Langston (c)
RVD
Christian
Seth Rollins
Antonio Cesaro
Alberto Del Rio
Winner: Big E. Langston
Talk about prestige! The card promises to be a technical wrestling paradise. Christian and RVD may not be the daredevils they used to be, but those vets can thrive in this type of matches wherein you can pick your spots.
Rollins can now assume the high-flying role matched with his Ziggler-type selling ability, a perfect contrast to the power wrestling skill-set of Cesaro. Del Rio can pound it to the ground with Langston.
Add to that are the previous clashes of The Mexican Aristocrat against RVD and Christian, and now the tension is magnanimous.
The good thing about this is that it can ignite a lot of feuds after the match. There’s Langston-Del Rio, Langston-Cesaro or even a non-title feud between RVD-Cesaro or Christian-Cesaro.
And we’re not even talking about the mentorship role of Mark Henry turning against Big E.
United States Championship Match
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Winner: Chris Jericho 
I can just imagine the verbal tussles between the two.
Ambrose is a perfect cowardly-paranoid villain, while Y2J can play the role of a cocky veteran insulting the ambiguous Ambrose.
Wow.
Fatal Four-way Tag Team Elimination match for WWE Tag Team Championship
New Age Outlaws (c) vs. Rhodes Brothers vs. The Usos vs. Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston
Winner: New Age Outlaws 
To be honest, I really don’t like the New Age Outlaws taking away the title from the Rhodes Brothers. The Usos can do that or even The Real Americans.
But what’s done is done and we should deal with it.
Anyway, New Age Outlaws should retain the title in this pay-per-view because if they drop it so quick, it might hurt the returning importance of this title.
This should be a high-paced exciting match with a lot of near falls. But in the end, Goldust will turn himself against Cody then beat him right after a match.
Sibling rivalry.
Elimination Chamber Match for WWE World Heavyweight Championship for Number 1 Contender
Daniel Bryan
John Cena 
Brock Lesnar
Roman Reigns 
Bray Wyatt
Sheamus 
Winner: Daniel Bryan
The second chamber match of the night.
Reigns entry should be justified because of his amazing Rumble performance. Imagine the spear hitting the insides of a confided chamber, you say dislocated shoulders, I call it awesome show.
Bray Wyatt’s entry, on the other hand, is not a bid to attempt a title shot. Rather, the word-eater’s inclusion to the match is more of him following Cena and causing despair to the leader of Cenation.
Meanwhile, Sheamus and Lesnar will provide the power this type of match requires.
Then we have Daniel Bryan.
Imagine WWE’s resident underdog, put in a situation wherein it’s not just his back that is on the wall, but his whole body literally.
Bryan is the smallest man in this card, and that will make up for a good show.
Spots: Lesnar will hit the F5 to wrestler X, he screams to the crowd but as he was about to pin the poor guy, the beast incarnate eats a brogue kick. The Celtic Warrior would then pose himself in the chamber then wham, a spear. Just as Reigns was about to growl himself to death, Bryan’s knee will be his dinner.
Eliminations: Bray should eliminate Cena. Come the time that the Chamber opens for Cena to be headed to the locker room by the officials, Wyatt should come with him together with his disciples.
The referees would try to stop him but Harper and Rowan is too much for them to handle. Enter the Wyatt Family ritual.
Come the time that Lesnar is cleaning the house via F5s, Kimura lock and other methods of destruction for the human anatomy, lights would go out and Undertaker’s bell will ring.
By the time the lights went on, ‘Taker is already in the chamber I in front of a shocked Lesnar, then wham, chokeslam. Lights went out, ‘Taker out, Lesnar pinned.
If that proves to be too much for the deadman, maybe he could just appear outside the chamber or in the screen.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Batista vs. Randy Orton ©
Boo. But we have to do this, okay?
Nobody wanted to see this match headlining Wrestlemania, so we have to see it now.
Batista would have to “cash-in” his Rumble win, saying that he wanted to “headline Wrestlemania as a champion”. The Animal’s plan would backfire as his match against the Viper 
will be called off. Here’s how:
The Animal would hit the Batista Bomb off at Orton, knocking him cold in the process. Come the time for his pin, Bryan would enter the ring and knock Batista down.
YES! YES! YES!
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo Wrestling
Ravelismo 20s: 20 songs for 2013 Pt. 1
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
My 2013 is a mess. I faced hurdles so tall that the frontline of Brgy. Ginebra Kings appears to be dwarves. I encountered awful creatures I do not want to meet again and managed to snag a couple of women who threatened to sue if I ever lay my eyes on them.
Needless to say, I am a bomb waiting to explode not of harmful substances, but of cheesy emotions you won’t believe my fatty body is capable of.
Anyway, this badly structured intro all leads to a list of 20 songs that serves as an accompaniment of my horrible year, that or it will give you a picture on how atrocious the past 12 months have been to me. These songs are not necessarily released last year, some of them couple of years ago.
And yes, I listen to pop music.
This is a 2-part list: What, you only played 20 songs in a year? I pity you
1. Stolen
Dashboard Confessional 
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away
Cool and calm. After a week-long stressed dealing with inconsiderate and stupid pseudo-intellectuals, this song will give you a breath of fresh air.
2. Summer twenty-eleven
Jejaview
Found a way to finally start this
Our love, oh they won’t notice
Runaway with me we’re making our sweet escape
It feels bad that they won’t know this
I know that we can’t make it
Runaway with me we’re making out sweet escape
So high school! But high school is one of the best years of my life. So be it.
3. ‘Wag na
Yeng Constantino
Pwede mo naming gamitin
Ang panyo ko
Alam mo yan
Kahit wag mo nang ibalik
Wag lang makita kang nagkakaganyan
Wag na
Ms. Constantino’s cred might be questioned from time to time, but not her vocal prowess. Thank the heavens for this woman not sulking herself the biritera long gown wearing singers these day are known for. 
4. Sa madaling salita
Ang Bandang Shirley
Ikaw ang puso ko dahil sayo
Dumadaloy/dumadanak ang/ng dugo
Sa madaling salita
(Tuwing ika’y nawawala, ako’y nawawala)
Bouncy yet classy. Whomever told you that songs written in Tagalog accompanied by a guitar are baduy is so stupid.
5. A broken portrait
Arcadia 
You think you know what’s right for me
but the truth is, you dont know me
you don’t know
the beauty of this imagery is how it will be destroyed
soon it will be destroyed
Damn it. Forget the lyrics. The breakdown, the crunch and the riff. Grrr.
6. It’s complicated
The Bloomfields 
Good times just beyond the hill
But heartbreak is bad enough to kill
So you decide to just stand still and time fades away
Whenever I shift myself from a horny yuppie to an existentialist hippie, this song would always be the perfect theme. Oh, they are a pretty good band too.
7. When I was your man
Bruno Mars
My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Swallowing pride and ego are the hardest stuffs to chew on. Matched that with failed relationships and regret, and you got yourself a topic for another blogpost.
8. Not a part of this town
The Butchercons 
I’m not gonna act like crazy,
I don’t want to feel this maybe
I don’t wanna buy fire
I don’t wanna buy
I’m ready to go
Twang a guitar like there’s no tomorrow, scream your lungs out as if you’re begging for dear life and express yourself your angst like a pimpy high school, and you can produce a wonderful theme like this one.
9. The Suffering
Coheed and Cambria
Would things have changed if I could’ve stayed?
Would you have loved me either way?
Dressed to the blues.
Day to day with my collar up 
Mr. Sanchez is a rare breed. A top notch lyricist and guitarist, yet able to create pop hooks that would thrill the hell out of anyone, musician or not. This song is a testament of that.
10. Goodnight January
Sandwich
The color of your day was slowly turning green
I can remember but I could not intervene
When you were swimming in your sorrows
You keep on saying “There’s no tomorrow”
Marasigan is God. The arrangement, the abused riff, the phrasing and the synth/keyboard line in the middle of the verse are just a display on how genius the Heads’ beatmeister is.
11. Memory Kill
Franco 
Here’s a letter to your pride
Our souls and hearts divide
How can this be
We’re beckoned to a lie
Leave uncompromised
How can this be
Kill that memory
I do not care if Franco himself is an asshole off-stage. I listen to his music, not his values.
12. Elmer
Gloc 9
Mapapatatoo ka ba?
Nakikita mo ba to ang mga bago kong tattoo?
Mas maangas daw ang rapper pag marami kang tattoo
At makabayan ang dating
Isa pa cool ka!
Magpalagay ako ng watawat
May flag pole pa
For posers and bandwagoners, for hipsters and pseudo-artists who are much active in social media sites than the gig scene, this one’s for you bro.
13. Better Days 
Franco
The world is gonna see some better days
This feeling starts within yourselves today
Such a simple way a price to pay for better days
A positive theme for my dreadful year. Here’s to hoping that a predictable existence will lead to a more exciting adventure and indeed, better days.
14. 1s 3s 6s
Greyhoundz
I choose to take chances
Be thrilled to just gamble for surprises
Whatever the prices
Whatever it offers
To witness what it teaches
Parenthood won’t stop this gang of four on to burning stages, more than a decade and still rockin’, Houndz are here forever.
15. Taya
Greyhoundz 
Alam ba nila ang pakiramdam
Ng lalakad ng parang lumulutang lang
Kung kelan kita gusto umulan
At kikindat bumagyo
Gipit pa, kung may hadlang, may paraan
Hinirang na nila akong hangal
Oras-oras ikaw na lang aking hangad
Gumuho man mundo ko, e ano
Basta’t ramdam kay sapat
Yung sagad sa buto, hala durugin mo!
Yo! Rubio’s fixation on hip-hop is well-documented, and this song is the finishing kick that will raise hell in every Houndz gig. Maybe Rubio should release an all hip-hop side project. Why not?
16. KKK
Kastigo
Langit ang makapiling ka
Awit sa hanging hindi para sa akin
Kahit saglit lang na makasama ka
Parang tumitigil ang oras sa palibot nating dalawa 
I first heard this song through the band’s live performance at 99.5’s Sunday Sessions. After more than half a decade later, yours truly was able to download a copy of this masterpiece.
On a side note, I always thought of this band as the pop side of Razorback.
17. The end of heartache
Killswitch Engagage
This distance, this dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you
Despite its misleading title, this song is an abyss away from the cheesy-moronic meter most bands attempting to write heart anthems found themselves into. This is hard-rock done right.
18. Atat
Ron Henley 
Ako ay atat na atat na sapagkat
Nalulungkot ang inyong lingkod
Sana magpakita kana pag di ka sumipot nako po hindot!
Alam mo bang kung ang laro ay taguan ako ang laging taya
Hinahanap-Hanap kita di kita matagpuan nasan ka kaya?
I would put Ron Henley in any time of the day over Abra. Think of Abra as a John Cena, while Ron Henley is your CM punk.
19. Tao lang
Loonie
Sapul sa pagkabata, sablay nung tumanda
Lumakad humakbang hanggang sa madapa
Wag kang mawawalan ng pag-asa, wag kang madadala
Kung wala ka pang mali wala ka pang nagagawa
I raped the replay button on this song when I was doing my time in rehab (as an Intern, of course). A perfect theme to my life full of mistakes, ill-fated decisions and failures caused by miscalculated leap. 
20. Bago mahuli ang lahat
Never the strangers
Woah, woah
Bago mahuli ang lahat
Sa bilang ng tatlo o apat
Sundan mo, sundan mo
Puntahan mo na siya
Bago mahuli ang lahat
Catchy, catchy, catchy. Me and my thesismates spent countless nights listening to this tune while tallying results, forming hypothesis and writing related literatures. Good times.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo 20's, Ravelismo Music
Ang totoong bato sa kabila ng bayan ng mga bobo: Bakit hindi lahat ay dapat isiwalat
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
Tinutuos ang dapat matapos sa pag-aasam nating minsa’y makaraos. Tumatalon sa bangin at isinisigaw sa hangin ang hangaring inaasahang makapagpapaligaya sa atin. Pahaging na tingin ang solusyon sa gutom na saging, damihan ang kanin, hingang malalim.
X: Game?
Y: Gusto mo talagang malaman?
Ang tanong ay nangangailangan ng sagot, ang libog ng harot, ang kamote ng utot. Pero drawing ang konsepto ng matinong usapan, dahil sa tanungan pa lang, marami ng nasasaktan. Tanginamo ang ihahain sa buwelo, pero sa oo at ngunit sa subalit.
Walang ligaya sa titigan hanggang umaga, walang saya sa usapang benta at lubhang mapait ang mga tugon na ipilit. Hindi uubrang panghawakan ang ideyang may magandang katapusan, kung hindi pa man nasisimula’y may nakakontra ng kalabuan.
Anong hinihitay ng pilosopong hindi kumakain ng gulay? Saan mo hahanapin ang alamat ng Tatay, ng pantalong kwadrado sa mga linyang sinaulo, malalaking braso at Gatsby sa ulo?
Paano?
Walang panghimagas kung hindi ka pa nagbe-breakfast. Ibaon ang duda sa opisina, ang pantasya sa cafeteria at mundong eroplano sa tambutso. Ibuga ang sigarilyo sa haligi ng sipilyo, wala nang kwenta ‘to, umuwi na tayo.
Pahabol lang sa gahol, pagpasensyahan ang pagmamaktol. Ilang buwan ng dyeta sa buhat, sa alat ay salata at sa kabigua’y mulat. Tinagping estero para sa’yo, binahang kalasada para sa’yo.
Eto: Itatanong mo ba ang tanong, kung sarado ang tainga mo sa nais mong sagot sa tanong? Ibabato mob a ang konsepto, kung sarado na ang puso sa sariling monumento?
Paano ikikintal ang pagmamahal sa pagtangging ang katumbas ay pagpapatiwakal? Anong pwedeng ihalimbawa, kung walang kaparis ang mukha ng dilag na taga-lawa?
Tugon: ‘Wag itanong ang tanong. Hayaang patlang ang timang, may harang ang parang at kuwestioynable ang atake. Kung sakit ang katumbas ng pilit, tumahimik at pumikit.
Hindi pinapatay ng Bagong taon ang multo ng kahapon. Iwanan sa ere ang posibilidad, huwag harapin ang reyalidad at ikubli ang abilidad.
Hubad.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo
A letter to my 30-year old self
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
Dear Future-but-still-awesome Ravel,
I am writing this letter in 2013, specifically, the last remaining days of 2013. As we know, the year of the Water Snake hasn’t been so kind to us. Anyway, the idea of writing this stupid letter to my future self came from one of the episodes of How I Met Your Mother. See, we just finished watching their Seasons 3 to 8 with pork and beer in our hand, so don’t be surprised if this letter is full of cholesterol.
As I was saying, 2013 is an awful year for us. By October, we cannot wait for it to end and by the time that December struck, we were already celebrating New Year. But we all know the end of it, right (Hint: We danced naked in an uncharacteristic street and proposed marriage to a woman we just met)?
How are you my friend? Are you done headlining Wrestlemania 40? Good, I know you’re a monster during TLC matches, and that heel turn on RAW last Monday was just one of the best promos the company had ever seen.
How’s the 4th album coming up? Your first three albums were darlings of the critics and even adored by the unwashed masses, nothing could go wrong. Maybe you should try a double-mangoed bass sometime. You’re still with the Washburn sponsorship? Maybe try something new, like Warwick, they sound pretty nice too.
That Palanca Hall-of-Fame trophy looks nice bro. Your latest novel, as usual, runs out-of-print. You’re the Bob Ong of your generation, only smarter with much, much more sense. Which means you’re no Bob Ong. But hey, how’s your lunch with Eros and Kingsolver?
Yeah, I know, you’re still single. You really ditched that Anne Curtis look-alike with a Jessica Zafra brain dude? Nailed it. Anyway, college is 10 YEARS over and you should REALLY move on from your uber-hot News Editor. She’s happily dominating the big leagues. Even your hopeless romantic writer friends moved on.
This letter is getting too long and I am too hungry to even formulate our dreams that will soon be shattered by that evil concept called reality. It doesn’t matter if things in this letter didn’t come to fruition, we are used to it.
Things didn’t go on our way and for the first time, we were informed that hardwork does not equate happiness. More often than not, it meant bitterness and useless perspiration. We sucked up everything in this pent-up world, and then we expect that we will receive at least something decent in return. That’s our 2013 in one paragraph.
But lo and behold, we survived 2013, arguably the most brutal, confusing and painful year of our existence. Everything’s new and scary. We lost all our friends amongst our trivial pursuits. Suddenly, everything is meaningless.
Here’s to hoping that the next decade will be much kinder, gentler and clearer.
But please, remain an atheist.
Wishing you well,
Your 20-year old immature self.
P.S.
Mary Jane is cheap.
Ipinaskil sa Defense Mechanism, Ravelismo Fiction
What if Lily is the Mother?
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
She looks like Alysson Hannigan!
Well not exactly Ms. Hannigan, but her playing Lily in How I Met Your Mother. There’s something about the petite and white figure of Lily that screams the girl’s name, and goddamnit, she is hot.
He began to watch the show during its 5th season. He was pleasantly surprised that they are showing it on free t.v., thus, enabling his poverty-ridden friends a chance to watch a sensible show. Those teleseryes are awful, add to the fact that you will lose I.Q. points by watching them.
As expected, the free-t.v. run didn’t last long and even suburbian pirates were having a hard time earning a paycheck off the sitcom. Cutting all the bullshit, he missed the succeeding seasons.
Like a cliché-filled story, he goes on with his life staying away from every confrontation as possible and come the time that he is facing one, there’s always a middle finger he can relied on to.
The Alysson Hannigan doppelganger is actually a colleague from a distant past called college. Not the educational level but the state of mind wherein you pronounced all the evils of the society, formulate stupid principles, form a post-rock band or got knocked-up (or impregnate someone).
Fortunately for him, his parents are open-minded and reminded him the importance of a condom. He formed a band, became an activist and stood by his idiotic principles.
For him, college was a wild ride of booze and orgs, of books and meth and of convictions and delusions. Like a mid-card wrestler having the first WWE-push of his career, he is on a roll. Then Ms. Hannigan’s twin came to the picture.
In his life, women are easy to come. He is never a good-looking lad. But he plays in a band and once he lugged that guitar strapped off his shoulders, his pock-marked face suddenly turns into John Lloyd Cruz-mode. Single file ladies.
But this woman is different. For starters, her childhood is an enough validation for her to seek a Psychiatrist (preferably a Freudian), lie on a couch (He will buy a couch on his next payday) and draw a house, tree and a person.
Next is that she is intelligent. Not intelligent in an academic-I-will-memorize-everything-in-the-goddamned-book way, but intelligent as in I-already-know-this-shit-so-I-will-not-attend-classes way. The boy cursed himself upon realizing that the girl’s intelligence is a direct hindrance to his chances of sleeping with her. Fuck this life.
The boy and Mrs. Marshall Eriksen’s look-alike (you’re not a fan of How I met your Mother!?) were eventually introduced, met and became friends. Oh shit. They weren’t introduced. They just found out that they belonged to the same circle of geeks and already assumed acquaintances.
The phone number is an easy one. Then comes the Facebook (oh, that wonderful invention) and other social media sites built to destroy your eyesight and promote awful photography.
But fuck Satan, she did not accept his friend request. He took it as an insult and thought that maybe the girl did not want to befriend her at all. Fuck it.
Surprisingly life’s not really harsh on him. See, he landed a couple of hot (but stupid) chicks anyway. He religiously followed the Bro code (Thank you, Barney) and even tried the Naked Man trick once. Again, he will never be nominated as an escort but his musical instrument makes up for his lack of any muscular definition.
College passed and so with the convictions, principles and beliefs. He immediately accept a job offer that doubles his expected salary but cut to halves his morals. But who cares about dignity when you’re driving your own car before the age of 21 (Oops)?
He eventually longed for adrenaline and filed for a leave. He can now afford to buy a laptop, put torrent and illegally download all the seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Here comes the marathon.
After inducing copious amount of alcohol and chocolates, he noticed something.
She looks like Alysson Hannigan!
He goes to his Facebook and type Ms. Hannigan’s look-alike’s name.
Friend request sent. It’s been a year.
Fuck.
Ipinaskil sa Ravelismo Fiction
Growing up and Neckties
Ipinaskil ni: ravelismo
I was raised by a musician father who is always telling me to never pick-up any musical instrument and an obsessive-compulsive yet loving mother who is an elementary undergraduate who always envisioned me as an honest altar boy with no sexual dreams nor fantasies.
As a kid, I grew up within the realm of music. My consciousness was enveloped through speakers blaring Ozzy Osbourne, Led Zeppellin, AC/DC, Phil Collins, Eric Clapton and other legends my Father wished to emulate his ever-struggling musical career.
My Father’s genes towards music appreciation did eventually hit me as I entered fifth grade; it was rap music yo! It was Salbakuta and Andrew E. and Francis M. As awkward as I looked, I pride myself for wearing baggy pants, sunvisor caps and XXXXXXXXXL shirts.
The music was alternated by a healthy dose of Liwayway Magazine and various storytelling sessions made by my grandmother. To sum up my childhood: rap music and Liwayway Magazine.
I am very fortunate that I was in high school when the second wave (or was it third?) of OPM band craze hit the music scene. I throw away my hood in exchange for maong pants, beatboxing for guitars and double-timed lyrics for 4×4 verses.
I discovered Hale, Cueshe and SpongeCola (people my age should start admitting that these groups influenced them), then came Urbandub, Erserheads, Rivermaya, Sandwich, Kjwan, 6cyclemind, Mayonnaise, and a couple of dozens every week.
MTV Pilipinas became what My Husband’s Lover for everyone is now back then for me. I watched MTV Live, Non-Stop, MTV Diyes and Siestas religiously. I even chatted down the Artists and Rising Stars of the Month.
The visual experienced were matched by NU107’s Stairway to Seven, Remote Control Weekend (I’m an avid texter!), In the Raw and Midnight Countdown and 99.5’s Sunday Sessions. The radio habit did me well as I found myself attached to much more radio shows like BrewRats, Boys Night Out (not the SamYG, but with King DJ Logan), RockEd Philippines (I am fan of Lourd way before becoming a fan of his is the trend, ehem) and Live and Raw.
I entered puberty with much confusion about my emotions, capacities and what-nots(I am now 20 and still very confused, and stoned at times) and solace myself with lyricism from my favorite LOCAL artists. As corny and mushy as it sounds, album’s liner notes, magazine interviews and features and music videos served as my guiding myth in the evilness of puberty.
By this time, I avidly collect music mags such as Pinoy, BANDA (now BANDS), RockNation and Pulp Magazine. I even memorized on when a particular issue will come out. Some are every 3rd Thursday, while others are for 2nd Mondays.
Such habit did teach me on how to write a feature article. Yes, they often did the usual question-and-answer thing, but the introductory and closing is an awesome part.
As my grades fluctuate to the lower pits of hell, making my Mom a prime candidate for Anger Management session, yours truly already made up his mind on what to do with his dimmed-light future.
Hey, I told myself in 2005. I’d formed a band and be famous. Be rich and die quickly because of drug overdose. I’d probably enter college with a bogus course or degree in writing (that’s my mentality back then, a writing degree or it’s a bogus course), then drop it off once my band got signed.
The mantra sounds decent enough. Bands were signed left and right and gold and platinum record awards were given weekly to local artists. If those guys can do it, why can’t I?
When I entered college, I originally enlist myself for a business course but ended up with a pre-med one (that my friend, is another story). I also rediscover my passion in writing. I won’t shift majors as I‘ll drop college anyway. Besides, a writer/rocker is a very cool…job.
Just like high school, I did enjoy the university life. It was my first beer, my first smoke, my first sex and even first sniff. I found out that you might look like a total dork but can still get laid if you have a band that plays with a distorted guitar. I also became an atheist. I also realized that I hate Pale Pilsen and the old Colt 45, but it didn’t matter once I breathe a couple of…you know.
Then, things went so fast and I am now a college graduate. The whole plan never came to fruition. The only papers my band signed were police reports of midnight brawls and apology letter to the guidance office. I left my high school band due to creative differences, then formed my own group that sucks the hell out of anyone.
Currently, I am crammed in an office job with an impending promotion and regularization effective this November 1. It’s all good, they say. I am only working for less than a year, and I dust off the shakes early en route to a decent corporate career.
But who am I kidding?
This is an alien situation for me. The only life that I know is music. My Father always came home late not because of a corporate appointment but because of his gigs, and later on never came home because of his job on the road. He skipped several holidays, birthdays and events not because of a convention, but to play music overseas in order to put food on the table.
Yes it was tough as a kid, but that’s normal for me.
Fixing my tie in the mirror, glancing at my black leather shoes, I can’t help but feel sad for myself. Someday, I’ll wear maong again, lugged a bass guitar at my shoulders and smoke ‘till death.
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