Aid to Haiti is becoming increasingly ridiculous, to the point where it streches believablity. Saudi Arabia's pledge of nothing seems better compared to shit like solar-power Bibles.
Yeah, you heard me right:
These are solar-powered audible Bibles that can broadcast the holy scriptures in Haitian Creole to 300 people at a time.
Called the "Proclaimer," the audio Bible delivers "digital quality" and is designed for "poor and illiterate people", the Faith Comes By Hearing group said.
I know I don't need food or water or medical supplies or a place to shit when I hear the Scripture! Fuxk Maslow, God is all of MY basic needs!
Please. At least with a printed Bible you could eat the pages.
The
website's blog entry on this is even more baffling, as it juxtaposes Haiti's immediate need for relief and shelter with their useless product:
This was my father's house," he said, matter-of-factly. Then the reality rolls over him like a wave, and his voice breaks, "My mother was in there. My family was…"
He is interrupted by another man who yells, "I can hear them in there. But we can't get to them. Without a loader, we can't move this."...
People have set up makeshift shelters, refugee camps and hospitals, as others dig through concrete mounds that once held their children, spouses, family, friends and neighbors. More than 100,000 people are sleeping on the streets.
Well let's get that loader in there! Move that rubble and start building their homes again! That's what they say, right?
Faith Comes By Hearing, the world's foremost Audio Bible ministry, is responding to this crisis by providing faith, hope and love through God's Word in audio.
... right.
Granted, they are actually helping in the relief efforts by distrubting basic needs from local churches, but then they say:
There is an immediate need for another 3,000 Proclaimers.
After already passing out 600 of them.
I'll tell you what they need. MORE FUCKING FOOD AND WATER AND SHELTER. Stop peddling your electronic scripture and focus on THAT.
As if that wasn't silly enough, Scientology is now down in Haiti, making sure people's thetans don't take advantage of the situation, led by one of the front people, John "Staying Alive" Travolta:
John Travolta is using his air miles to help the Haiti relief effort by planning a mercy mission to the earthquake ravaged nation.
The movie star and celebrity member of the Church of Scientology has become the latest big name to dig deep to help the victims of Tuesday's 7.0-magnitude tremor.
He says, "I have arranged for a plane to take down some volunteer ministers and some supplies and some medics.
"I hope that inspires others as well. It's needed."
I'll tell ya what's needed: SUPPLIES. Come ON, when a disaster happens, does every dog with a trick have to push their noses in it and smell?
John in the above Gawker article details the kind of bullshit nonsense they're inflicting on the people of Haiti. Here's my favorite that had me in both fits of laughter and wide-eyed disbelief:
Locational Assists": After traumas, people sometime's forget where they are maybe? To remind earthquake victims that they are still stuck in Haiti, volunteer ministers will be performing this vital medical procedure, quoted here verbatim from the Scientology Handbook:
5. Continue giving the command, directing the person's attention to different objects in the environment. Be sure to acknowledge the person each time after he has complied.
For instance, you say, "Look at that tree." "Thank you." "Look at that building." "Good." "Look at that street." "All right." "Look at that lawn." "Very good." You point each time to the object.
6. Keep this up until the person has good indicators and a cognition. You can end the assist at this point. Tell the person, "End of assist."
It's these kinds of things I discover about Scientology that further proves my point that L. Ron Hubbard was fucking stoned beyond all comprehension when he created Dianetics. Only someone on some serious hash feels the need for confirmation of the existence of things to keep establishing reality.
And this is what Scientology is giving Haiti. Oh, and
here's some actual doctors too, but no psychiatrists. They are the work of Xenu.
WingNutDaily
misses the point, which, granted, is something they're good at it, but they actually did some good here After the earthquake, Pat Robertson said something painfully stupid, something he is good at:
"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it," he said. "They were under the heel of the French ... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you'll get us free from the French.' True story. And the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another."
And that's why bad things happen in Haiti, because they have a bank loan with Satan and they're overdue on the payments. Classic Pat.
Now, rational people fart in Robertson's general direction and move on with their lives, but other people in the paddy wagon take each other very seriously, and that thinking led WND to do research on whether Haiti actually made a deal with the devil. Yeah:
But Jean R. Gelin, a Ph.D and minister in Haiti, says he studied the issue and found no substantiation of the claim.
"Obviously, the idea that Haiti was dedicated to Satan prior to its indepednence is a very serious and profound statement with potentially grave consequences for its people in terms of how they are perceived by others or how the whole nation is understood outside its borders," Gelin wrote in a 2005 series of articles about his findings. "One would agree that such a strong affirmation should be based on solid historical and scriptural ground. But, although the satanic pact idea is by far the most popular explanation for Haiti's birth as a free nation, especially among Christian missionaries and some Haitian church leaders, it is nothing more than a fantastic opinion that ultimately dissipates upon close examination."
No fucking shit. But here's the weird and scary part of this -- Gelin published this in
2005. And she says that this is believed by Christian missionaries and a few church leaders in Haiti? Sadly, yes:
"The worst part of the whole picture is that the story is believed by many sincere Christians in America and around the world; and not only do they believe it, they also spread it as fact," he wrote. "The tragedy of our age is that repeated lies are often mistake for truth, especially when repeated long enough. That's particularly the case in religious circles where faith on the part of the audience is generally expected, but that should never be so for those who believe the Bible."
That... statement is true, but you expect some kind of threshold of believability to be crossed first. Deals with the devil are usually the subject of country songs, not to be taken seriously. But then remember, every group's threshold is different, and if you really believe Satan is a big, pervasive force of evil in the world, then...
In that case, I gotta hand it to WND, a site for that demographic, to inject a little rationalism into the group. And I can't believe I put "rationalism" and "WND" in the same sentence that wasn't sarcastic.
From the United Arab Emirates comes
the first animated Arab television show to be distributed worldwide, called
Freej:
"Freej" chronicles the adventures of Um Saeed, Um Saloom, Um Allawi and Um Khammas, four elderly women living on the outskirts of Dubai, United Arab Emirates, as they attempt to reconcile their traditional ways of life with the city's fast-paced corporate culture.
Hilarity inevitably ensues, but viewers are often left wondering whether the joke is on these provincial grandmothers in their mud-brick homes or those living in the sterile high-rises that tower in the background.
From left to right: Um Khammas, Um Allawi, Um Saeed, Um SaloomBabylon Beyond has the trailer:
Looks cute, I'd watch it. Created back in 2006, deals are in the works for its global broadcast, but no word on who they're talking to. Any American distributor will certainly have it dubbed in English, which be a unique experience since Arabic is a really hard language to translate accurately, especially with our own biases of the region in place. Dubai One already broadcasts it subbed, so hopefully the dubbing team will just read the subs.
Here's a taste of an episode:
In one episode, the women visit Dubai's Global Village, a sort of "Small World"-themed mall where Um Saeed tries to haggle with the owner of a textile shop. Um Saeed, who appears unfamiliar with the concept of price tags, eventually succeeds in driving the price down through sheer clueless obstinacy.
I lol'd a little.
By the way, in case you're wondering, those masks they're wearing are traditional Bedouin attire, to protect the face from wind-blown sand.
France wants to help you
keep your secrets on the Internets. Apparently too many people are being stupid and posting personal information on the web, so France wants to implement a law that would require telecom companies to offer an option for its customers to delete their records after a certain period of time:
A proposed law in the country would give net users the option to have old data about themselves deleted.
This right-to-forget would force online and mobile firms to dispose of e-mails and text messages after an agreed length of time or on the request of the individual concerned.
Divina Frau-Meigs, Professor of American Studies and Media Sociology at the Paris Sorbonne University, believes the law would counter against unguarded communications becoming an official record.
"This debate is also connected to the right of presumption of innocence in many ways, so that people are not found guilty even before they start on life," she explained.
"People and young people need to be protected by the State so that there is fairness in the way this protection is established," she added.
For fuck's sake, how about you DON'T POST INCRIMINATING THINGS ON THE INTERNET. The internet is EXACTLY like being out in public, and you don't go into Times Square and start shouting your credit card information to passersby. The answer is simple and doesn't require state intervention. DON'T DO STUPID THINGS ONLINE.
Naturally the white knights of the web are salivating over this, especially an
official white knight organization called the Reputation Squad who's spokesperson is obviously Chris Crocker:
Alberic Guigou from online reputation management firm Reputation Squad said many people were becoming public figures on the internet.
"They are being on Facebook, on Twitter. They are communicating a lot of information about themselves," he said.
"But the issue is that a lot of people also remain anonymous. They take advantage of that to ruin other people's reputations," he said.
LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER THEY'RE DUMB AS BRICKS TO PUT THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER ON THEIR TWITTER LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!
Just fuck you. You only exist on celebrity stupidity. Think about that. The Reputation Squad only exists because people think the Internet is their own personal laundry room. If people were more like this:
Carole Gay, from the French internet providers association AFA, said search engines made finding someone's details online very easy.
"So we have to be careful what we put online. Otherwise you risk being followed by something you did in the past. You have to be vigilant, just as you do in the real world," she said.
then no one would need you.
The Internet is a dark and scary place, and everyone needs to come to grips with that. Be vigilant, learn how the net actually works, and don't rely on white knights to swoop in to your rescue.
