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Proverb Origin: Generals Always Prepare to Fight the Last War

Robert Blatchford? Arthur Bugs Baer? Roy K. Moulton? Robert de Saint-Jean? Ford Madox Ford? Georges Clemenceau? P. L. Garvin? Anonymous?

**Civilian drone flying above a foggy scene from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The nature of modern warfare is changing rapidly with new weaponry based on drones and machine learning. Yet, military planners are immersed in studying past battles. Here are two versions of a pertinent maxim:

(1) Generals are always preparing to fight the last war.
(2) The military always prepares for the previous war.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This adage can be expressed in many ways; hence, it is difficult to trace. Below is an overview summarizing the evolution of this saying:

1919 Nov: The ordinary statesman or military man is generally obsessed by bygone ideas and methods. He always prepares for the last war (Robert Blatchford)

1920 Dec: The national motto is: In time of peace prepare for war. We are still preparing for the last war (Arthur “Bugs” Baer)

1923 Jan: The trouble with statesmen who come over here from Europe is that they all come over to fight the last war (Roy K. Moulton)

1927 Feb: A huge fleet is always preparing for the last war, always blind to the probabilities of the future (Anonymous)

1928 Aug: Military correspondents are always preparing for the last war (Pseudonym Civilian)

1929 Jan: There is a tendency in many armies to spend the peace time studying how to fight the last war (Anonymous)

1930 Jan: Naval experts … invariably go on preparing for the “last war” (Anonymous)

1930 Feb: We are always preparing for the last war (Attributed to “very eminent sailor”)

1930 Mar: The war for which the generals prepare is always the last war (Attributed to Ford Madox Ford)

1930 Sep: Our generals always prepared for the previous war (Attributed to unnamed author of a war novel)

1933 Mar: The war the generals always prepare for is the last war (Anonymous)

1933 Apr: All generals always prepare for the last war (Anonymous)

1933 Oct: War always finds the generals preparing for the last war (P. L. Garvin)

1933 Oct: Comme les généraux qui préparent toujours la dernière guerre (Robert de Saint-Jean)

1938: The military always fight the last war over again (Attributed to Georges Clemenceau)

1940 Apr: Generals always prepare for the previous war (Anonymous)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Tragedy Is When I Cut My Finger; Comedy Is When You Fall Down a Manhole

Mel Brooks? Carl Reiner? Betty Brainerd? Joey Bishop? Kenneth Tynan? S. Sylvan Simon? Anonymous?

**Picture of a manhole cover with rising steam from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: What makes something funny? Why do so many people find pratfalls humorous? The difference between comedy and tragedy has been described in a comically cynical remark with a tincture of cruelty:

Tragedy is when I get a paper cut; Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and die.

This statement has been attributed to comedians such as Mel Brooks and Joey Bishop. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1962 Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks recorded an album during the Cannes Film Festival which was released in early 1963. During one sketch Mel Brooks played a character called the 2000-Year-Old Man, and Carl Reiner acted as an interviewer. The 2000-Year-Old Man described a person being eaten by a tiger while indicating that observers found this event funny. The interviewer was shocked. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Interviewer (Carl Reiner): I would consider that in the realm of tragedy rather than comedy. How do you differentiate between tragedy and comedy?

2000-Year-Old Man (Mel Brooks): To me, tragedy is if I’ll cut my finger. That’s tragedy. It bleeds, and I’ll cry, and I’ll run around, and I’ll go into Mount Sinai for a day and a half. I’m very nervous about it. And to me, comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die. What do I care? That’s comedy. My finger is important.

This dialogue includes a pun based on “Mount Sinai” which is a biblical location and a prominent hospital in Manhattan.

The sketch presented above contained the earliest close match located by QI. Mel Brooks deserves credit for this compelling formulation. The general idea is older. Below is an outline showing precursors and variants with dates:

1904: Life is a comedy when you’re well. A tragedy when you’re sick.

1913: Comedy — When he deceives her; Tragedy — When she deceives him.

1917: HAPPY THOUGHT: It’s always funny when somebody else falls down.

1934: COMEDY is when you see a fat man take a tumble. TRAGEDY is when you feel your own feet start to stumble! (Attributed to Betty Brainerd)

1950: If you fall down it hurts; if somebody else falls down, it’s funny. (S. Sylvan Simon)

1962: Tragedy is if I’ll cut my finger … comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die. (Mel Brooks as the 2000-Year-Old Man)

1963: Tragedy is if I’ll cut my finger—comedy is if you’ll walk into an open sewer and die. (Attributed to Mel Brooks by Kenneth Tynan)

1964: If I hurt my finger it’s a tragedy, but if you fall down a manhole, it’s funny. (Attributed to Joey Bishop)

1977: If you fall down a manhole that’s funny. If I cut my finger that is tragedy. (Mel Brooks)

1988: Comedy is when a man slips on a banana peel and tragedy is when you, yourself, take the fall (Old saw)

1989: Comedy is when somebody else falls and breaks his neck, while tragedy is when I stub my toe. (Attributed to Mel Brooks)

1990: If you would be walking on the street in a tuxedo and slip on a banana peel and fall down a manhole and break your head that would be comedy. If I would get a paper cut on my finger that would be tragedy. (Attributed to Mel Brooks)

1993: Tragedy is when I get a paper cut; comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die. (Attributed to Mel Brooks)

1995: Tragedy is when I cut my finger; comedy is when you fall down a well and die. (Joe Fiorito)

2000: If I fall and stub my toe, that’s tragedy, if you fall and stub your toe, that’s comedy. (Attributed to anonymous by Peter Boyle)

Below are additional citation details.

Quote Origin: Nothing Enhances Authority So Much as Silence

Charles de Gaulle? Leonardo Da Vinci? André Maurois? Gerard Hopkins? Anonymous?

**Chess configuration which symbolizes a fallen authority**

Question for Quote Investigator: A pithy speech is more powerful than a long-winded oration. Concision amplifies potency. Here are two versions of this idea:

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
Nothing enhances authority more than silence.

This statement has been credited to the French statesman Charles de Gaulle and the Italian polymath Leonardo da Vinci. I am skeptical of these attributions because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1931 Charles de Gaulle published an article titled “Du Prestige” (“Of Prestige”) in the French military journal “Revue Militaire Française”. The following passage discussed speeches delivered by leaders. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

La sobriété du discours accentue le relief de l’attitude. Rien ne rehausse l’autorité mieux que le silence, splendeur des forts et refuge des faibles, pudeur des orgueilleux et fierté des humbles, prudence des sages et esprit des sots. Pour l’homme qui désire ou qui tremble, le mouvement naturel est de chercher dans les mots un dérivatif à l’angoisse.

In 1932 Charles de Gaulle published “Le Fil de l’épée” (“The Edge of the Sword”) which included the article “Du Prestige”.² Translator Gerard Hopkins rendered this work into English in 1960. The paragraph above appeared as follows:³

Sobriety of speech supplies a useful contrast to theatricality of manner. Nothing more enhances authority than silence. It is the crowning virtue of the strong, the refuge of the weak, the modesty of the proud, and pride of the humble, the prudence of the wise, and the sense of fools. The man who is moved by desire or fear is naturally led to seek relief in words.

QI has not found any substantive support for the ascription of the statement under examination to Leonardo Da Vinci who died in 1519. Da Vinci implausibly received credit in 2004.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Falling Into the Singularity is Admittedly a Frightening Thing, But Now We Might Regard Ourselves as Caterpillars Who Will Soon Be Butterflies

Vernor Vinge? Hans Moravec? Irving John Good? Apocryphal?

**Picture of a butterfly near a purple-petaled flower from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The creation of entities with superhuman intelligence would mark a new epoch in human history. Systems which outperform humans in tasks such determining 3D protein structures or playing the boardgame Go already exist. But these AI systems display narrow expertise.

The advent of systems with general superhuman capabilities would be earthshattering. Technological growth might accelerate beyond human conception. This transition period has been called the singularity. While contemplating this topic a professor wrote:

Falling into the singularity is admittedly a frightening thing, but now we might regard ourselves as caterpillars who will soon be butterflies.

The professor also wrote:

We are on the edge of change comparable to the rise of human life on Earth.

These statements have been attributed to the computer scientist and science fiction author Vernor Vinge. Would you please help me to find citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1983 Vernor Vinge wrote an opinion piece for “Omni” magazine which included the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The evolution of human intelligence took millions of years. We will devise an equivalent advance in a fraction of that time. We will soon create intelligences greater than our own.

When this happens, human history will have reached a kind of singularity, an intellectual transition as impenetrable as the knotted space-time at the center of a black hole, and the world will pass far beyond our understanding.

The final paragraph of Vinge’s 1983 article stated the following:

Falling into the singularity is admittedly a frightening thing, but now we might regard ourselves as caterpillars who will soon be butterflies and, when we look to the stars, take that vast silence as evidence of other races already transformed.

In March 1993 a symposium called “VISION-21: Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering in the Era of Cyberspace” took place in Westlake, Ohio. Vernor Vinge delivered a paper titled “The Coming Technological Singularity: How to Survive in the Post-Human Era”. Vinge presented a sobering prediction about technological advancement:²

Within thirty years, we will have the technological means to create superhuman intelligence. Shortly after, the human era will be ended.

The year 2023 occurred thirty years after Vinge’s article appeared. Vinge also discussed the monumental changes he believed would soon engulf humanity:

The acceleration of technological progress has been the central feature of this century. I argue in this paper that we are on the edge of change comparable to the rise of human life on Earth. The precise cause of this change is the imminent creation by technology of entities with greater than human intelligence.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Proverb Origin: A Fish Wouldn’t Get Caught If It Kept Its Mouth Shut

Carol Mangiaracina? R. S. Bond? T. J. Ruddy? George Korber? Anonymous?

**Illustration of a Common Perch from The N. Y. Public Library Digital Collection**

Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous proverb encourages a person to remain silent:

A fish wouldn’t get caught if it kept its mouth shut.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. Here is an overview with dates which summarizes the evolution:

1891 Nov: Man is a good deal like a fish. You know, the fish would never get in very serious trouble if it kept its mouth shut.

1902 May: A fish can avoid a lot of trouble by keeping its mouth shut. So can the house furnishing buyer.

1915 Jul: A man like a fish can generally avoid being caught by keeping his mouth shut.

1920 Jun: Consider the fish; he never gets caught so long as he keeps his mouth shut.

1921 Oct: Even a fish won’t get caught if it keeps its mouth shut.

1923 Nov: Even a fish would not get caught if it would just keep its darn mouth shut.

1934 Mar: It’s when he doesn’t keep his mouth shut that a fish gets caught and that’s when some people get into trouble, too.

1958 Jan: What did one fish say to the other fish? Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.

2020 Aug: Even a fish won’t get caught if it keeps its mouth shut.

Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They Should Have Sufficient Arms and Ammunition to Maintain a Status of Independence

George Washington? Philip M. Crane? W. Cleon Skousen? Paul Broun? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of a pistol with Romanesque ornamentation**

Question for Quote Investigator: The following statement about armaments has been attributed to one of the Founding Fathers of the United States:

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.

Although these words are usually credited to George Washington, I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1790 George Washington delivered an address to the United States Senate and the House of Representatives. Washington promoted the domestic manufacture of weapons and ammunition. Washington had experienced great difficulties obtaining supplies for the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War, and he wished to avoid procurement problems in the future. The following passage from Washington’s speech partially matched the target quotation but differed significantly. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined, to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require, that they should promote such manufactories, as tend to render them independent on others, for essential, particularly for military supplies.

The words of George Washngton were remembered. For example, 185 years later in April 1975, Congressman Philip M. Crane of Illinois delivered a speech during which he presented a slightly modified version of the statement spoken by Washington:²

In writing his draft of the Virginia Constitution Thomas Jefferson stated:

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.

Similar expressions were forthcoming from men like Patrick Henry, George Mason, and Samuel Adams. And, in 1790, George Washington said:

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufacturies as tend to remind them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies.

Palindrome Origin: Was It Eliot’s Toilet I Saw?

T. S. Eliot? Samuel Beckett? W. H. Auden? Vladimir Nabokov? Gloria Goddard? Clement Wood? J. L. Thompson? Tom Congdon? Alan Bennett?

**Bathroom with two sinks, a toilet, and a shower from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The name of the major literary figure T. S. Eliot has inspired entertaining wordplay. A bookseller who visited the London headquarters of Eliot’s publisher, Faber and Faber, supposedly emerged with the following palindrome:

Was it Eliot’s toilet I saw?

This tale is probably apocryphal, but it would be fun to know who constructed this palindrome. Wordsmiths have also created anagrams for T. S. Eliot such as litotes, toilets, and toilest. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Poet T. S. Eliot was born in 1888 and died in 1965. Here is an overview of the wordplay together with dates and attributions:

1937: toilet – T. Eliot spelled backwards from Samuel Beckett

1938: toilets – anagram of T. S. Eliot in a book by Gloria Goddard and Clement Wood

1953: toilet – T. Eliot spelled backwards from J. L. Thompson

1962: toilest – T. S. Eliot spelled backwards from Vladimir Nabokov

1969: Was it Eliot’s toilet I saw? – palindrome from Tom Congdon

1975: litotes – anagram of T. S. Eliot attributed to W. H. Auden

This overview represents a current snapshot based on published evidence, and it may change as additional evidence is uncovered. Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Anecdote Origin: “I Can Hear the Donkey Bray” “Do You Believe Me or the Donkey?”

Mulla Nasreddin? Khodshah? Khoja Nasr ed-Dîn Effendi? Harry Charles Lukach? Anonymous?

**Picture of grazing donkeys from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: In the past you have examined a family of humorous anecdotes about credulousness. The punchline of these tales was:

Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

There is another anecdote of this type which seems to be older: A neighbor wished to borrow a donkey from a person who was reluctant to loan the animal. The person indicated that the donkey was located elsewhere and unavailable. A moment later the donkey began to bray in the nearby stable. The neighbor exclaimed “Do I not hear the donkey’s braying?” The person responded angrily:

“You fool! Would you believe me or the donkey?”

This punchline has been credited to the international folklore character Nasreddin (or Nasruddin). Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match in English found by QI appeared in 1885 within a Buffalo, New York newspaper which acknowledged a newspaper in Vienna, Austria. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A Turkish joke—One day a man came to Khodshah and said: “I need a donkey to-day; won’t you lend me yours?” “I no longer own a donkey,” was the answer. At the same moment the donkey began to bray in stable. “Oh,” exclaimed the man, “do I not hear the donkey’s braying?” “What?” retorted Khodshah angrily, “would you sooner believe a donkey than me?” — Wiener Fremdenblatt.

QI conjectures that earlier instances exist in the Turkish language. This folklore tale circulates in many countries including Türkiye and Iran. The Nasruddin character is usually dated to the 13^th century, but the chronology of the many associated anecdotes is highly variable.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: One of the Symptoms of Approaching Nervous Breakdown Is the Belief That One’s Work Is Terribly Important

Bertrand Russell? Apocryphal?

**Depiction of three tired figures from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Many people are forgoing holidays and overworking themselves. Here is a pertinent quotation:

One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.

These words have been attributed to British philosopher Bertrand Russell. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1930 Bertrand Russell published “The Conquest of Happiness” which included a section about the causes of unhappiness. A chapter within the section discussed fatigue. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The more tired a man becomes, the more impossible he finds it to stop. One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important and that to take a holiday would bring all kinds of disaster. If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Actually Doesn’t Take Much To Be Considered a Difficult Woman. That’s Why There Are So Many of Us

Jane Goodall? Karen Karbo? Apocryphal?

**Abstract representation of a difficult person from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Shortly after English primatologist Jane Goodall died in October 2025, I repeatedly saw the following quotation attributed to her:

It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us.

Yet, I have been unable to find a solid citation, and I suspect that this is a misattribution. Would you please trace this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: You are correct to be skeptical of the attribution to Jane Goodall. The correct ascription is to the U.S. writer Karen Karbo who delivered the remark during an interview. Karbo authored the 2018 book “In Praise of Difficult Women: Life Lessons from 29 Heroines Who Dared to Break the Rules”.

In May 2018 the “National Geographic” website posted an interview with Karbo who discussed the women who were profiled in her book including Jane Goodall who was one of Karbo’s childhood heroes. Karbo also discussed reviews of her book. Karbo employed the quotation while discussing a reviewer. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A woman who believes her own needs, goals, and desires are at least as important as everyone around her risks being called difficult. One of the first reviewers said, “That’s a pretty low bar.” I said, “Thank you for making my point for me.” Because it actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us. [laughs]

The misattribution to Jane Goodall appeared in 2019, and QI conjectures that someone misread the interview article. Goodall’s name is mentioned within the interview article both before and after the quotation. An inattentive reader may have assumed the quotation was from Goodall.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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