- Pushpa ’09 at an Indian wedding
- Pushpa@5
I am just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary set of circumstances that have brought me to this point in my life. I have lived the life with a road more traveled by others than I ever realized.  In my once believed isolated journey as an adoptee I lived a life of separation, loneliness, racism, lack of identity, abundance, prosperity, fear, anger, rage, self-loathing, deep sorrow, spirit, freedom, plenty, disconnect, and the list will grow as I get in touch with the words that describe the deepest of feelings whether wonderful or horrible.
At the age of 6, I was sent to an anglo saxon family in a small Pacific Northwest city in Oregon. The trip began on a December night in the late 1960’s. Only 12 days before Christmas. I left my home in a small little apartment in the heavily populated city of Kolkata which was then Calcutta to get on a plane with me, myself and I to come to America. I am not sure that I had any idea of what I was doing, I can’t recall. I left the city on the plane and flew through Hong Kong, Tokyo and then Hawaii to get to Portland Oregon. Upon my arrival I was told to put on a dress that was in a paper bag on the floor. I already had a dress on so I just put it on over my frock that I was wearing. After we disembarked from the plane the flight attendant took me out and into the receiving gate to meet a couple and their daughter. The daughter had the same dress on that I was wearing. This was the moment that I met my new family. These people were absolute strangers, we had never laid eyes on each other but now here I was after going half way around the world, with these people who were my family… 25 years later I returned to India to meet my mother and found that she never gave me up for adoption but rather that I was sent here without her consent or knowledge. This blog is to share the multitude of issues that I and many other adoptees and families in the adoption triad deal with along with just the stories of my experience . Please read it with love!
© Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog, 2008. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Shweta said
i read all of your blog. it was a very moving story. i cried through some of it. so you were put up for adoption when you were 6? and your relationship with your adoptive family isn’t too strong? I understand how you felt about not fitting in, you have a reason to feel that way though, i just feel strange sometimes. Sorry i asked so many questions, your the first adoptee i’ve met besides me. anyway amazing story.
scientificleader said
Nomoshkar,
I’m an American, married to a Bengali raised in Karnataka and Pune. My sisters and brothers were adopted; as was my Father. I’m anglo, but my siblings are all African-American, and so I experienced some of the racism, mostly vicariously, that you reference. My sisters and Father didn’t meet their birth parents; but my brother was adopted when he was 4, so he has similar memories as you.
I’m actually in the process of moving to India with my family. I hope you find peace and happiness
Matt
CHAAI said
Impressive work. Nice to know someone is doing something for under privileged ones in India.
Wish you happiness and great life.
Happy holidays.
Jackie G said
What an amazing story. Ifeel lucky to have met you. You are truly a wonderful person. Thanks for all of the health advice that you all ways share with me. Good luck with everything that you are working on. You go girl!!!!!!!
Love Jackie
jananiii said
Amazing Pushpa!
Sue Gambill-Read said
Hi Pushpa, I am new to your blog but have known of you and about your story for quite some time through mutual friends (see my Facebook friends request!) I am slowly reading your blog. It is painful and poignant reading. On pay day this week, I will send some money for your mom. Someday I hope my Indian adopted children can know their stories.
nina robinson said
Hi Pushpa – it’s Nina from Your Story – https://www.bbcyourstory.com
Your blog is really an interesting read – I wonder whether you took part in our debate – BBC World Have Your Say – on Friday which brought up a lot of the issues here?
I’d be interested in hearing your insights on this topic, for Your Story when the issue arises again, so that we can get your perspective.
Claudia Ford said
I am a mother who has adopted (internationally.) Yours is a brave story and I appreciate your comments and introspection. Thank you for sharing.
Amarjeet said
Hi Pushpa ji, it seems to be a very different story of your life, with so many un answered questions?? as a film maker I find some interesting turns in this story that seems
Lakshmi said
Pushpa,
Not sure how I stumbled on your blog but I just went through your entire archives and ended up teary eyed. I just can’t imagine the pain Shanti and you have been through.
I am new adoptive mother to twin white girls. I am Indian myself and I am reading and researching to learn from the mistakes others made so that I can raise my girls well and be empathetic to the pain they will experience growing up.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Sharon said
Hello Pushpa, You should be proud of yourself for sharing your story. I am adopted, caucasion baby and adopted by caucasion parents. I do alot of reading and research about adoptees. And I think that it does ot matter if you were adopted here in the US or adopted internationally, we all have so many questions, identity issues and have stories to share! I am working on a book, and I hope and pray someday it will be published so that others can hear my story. Best of luck to you and all your future endeavors, stay strong!!!
miriam gaenicke said
You go Pushpa! Way to be very inspiring to so many of our fellow adoptees. Sending lots of love to you! 🙂
Prema M. said
This question was one that I really had to think about in regards to myself. On one hand being adopted from India and having Indian adopted parents, I felt that I was Indian and had the “indian-ness” within me. Yet recently throughout my own adoption journey in the recent months did I realize how American I was and how much of my Indian culture I did not know. “Who am I?” really a complex question and one I seek to find the answers to. Amazing story, Pushpa 🙂