[{GRaViTY}]

.uugghh. ii honestly dont know how ii feel right now. ii was doing good but now im just .here. trying to get thru life the best way that ii can. ii just wake up nd after that whatever happens is out of my hands. things were awesome nd then two days ago they got bad again nd tomo everything will probably look a lil better for me but either way im struggling trying to get thru weeks and maintain some sort of sanity. im slowly losing my mind but im grateful for being here rather than in baltimore. im loving the alone time and im loving kicking people out of my life even more. outside of family the only ones that ii even bother to contact are bittie bestie jada nd lady.bug nd thats because at the end of the day ii know that they are realer than most and that ii need them in my life just as much as they need me. sometimes ii cringe at the thought of going thru life alone but ii know that for people like me being set apart and isolated is the key to getting anything accomplished. this is where im most at peace and so even in the midst of my turmoil ii can rest in the fact that if ii were still at that place ii used to call home ii would be worse off than ii am now. just continue to pray.  not just for me but for my entire family. my mom is going thru a series of health issues so always always always keep her in your prayers please. lovee you all nd thanks to all who bother to continue to stop by here even when ii aint writing.

its monday nd im back in the ville. yess ii lovee it. so happy to get away from bmore. ii kinda enjoyed my time home but for the most part it was a very annoying reminder that its no longer home. its a sad reality to accept but what other choice do ii have. n.c is my home now. away from family nd the friendss that remain. away from the memories nd past that haunts me. this is my life now nd ii honestly lovee it. ii love being here by myself. ii love being able to disconnect myself from all those ppl with just the push of a red button on my cellular. its sad ii know but who cares. it is what it is nd im content. im finally back where ii belong nd from here on out ii wont be so eager to go  back to baltimore. the only reason ii have for taking that trip would be to see my mom. keep her in your constant prayers by the way… shes doing good but things will def get worse before they get better.

so… its thursday night. ii have been home since tuesday night and ii love being here. im happy nd at the same time ii hate it. ii want to go back to life as ii know it. go back to north carolina nd get away from here. thats it thats all.