poetrymyvoice

Justifiable red and hot like fire

I am the anger of a thousand souls screaming for relief

I have tried to live free

free of hate, scorn, and rebuke

free of the ugly stain of the age old sin

and yet

I find myself here

about to explode

emotions on overload

hoping to just let go and yet afraid

because if I release years of anguish and frustration I may just be

incapable of ever calming down again

so I will continue to just be

the quiet girl who holds the truth inside

I don’t want to be the other girl

because she scares me

The notebook paper held it dear

I could not contain my relief as I let every idea free

I wanted to leave my legacy, my mark

But somewhere in the fire of life I lost my spark

I started to collect things like worry, stress, depression, and doubt, and with each new thing

the desire of my heart started to fade

I grew cold and dark

I could not remember those lost dreams only the nightmares of my present state

I’m sorry that my sight and focus lost the vision of the little girl’s optimism

Do they mend?

Fragments of pieces torn into

tiny little specs of me and you

I am disconnected

I unplugged myself from reality

and guess what I still feel

even though I would love to just be

Nothing quite has been right

since I found out that who I am is really not who I want to be

Have you seen me?

My past can no longer hinder my future state of mind and being 

I am not looking back at the woulda shoulda couldas I am moving onward 

I leave the pain, hurt, frustrations, old loves, and bitter sweet times in complete isolation to this present place of mine 

Progress can only be met when we lay the old thoughts to rest, so I brought a ticket, it was a priceless one of faith not fear, and I discovered that from now on I will invest in me  

For I seek the purpose filled life where my destiny is moving swiftly before my eyes not turned into a pillar of salt because I took my eyes away from the head of my heart and was lost 

We take for granted things like walking, sight, talking, and movement of our bodily rights 

We take for granted eating what we want until we feel the weight in our bellies bogging us down 

We take for granted the ability to hear the melodious sounds of voices raised in pleasantries 

I respect you more now, body, temple, fleshly shell, for I know what it is to feel sickness related to habits and customs that are unhealthy, I know what it is to see people take their health for granted and mock the sick with their lack of care, I want to do better, no longer be the one to abuse and misuse you with unwanted wear and tear 

Someone can’t move any limb, and yet I can 

Someone can’t see the beauty of color, and yet I can 

Someone can’t hear the sounds of nature, and yet I can 

Someone can’t walk, run, jump, climb, hop, skip, and yet, I can 

I grant you this, let us not be ungrateful with our gifts, let us not take for granted the healthiness of the living of life! 

Fear? 

Afraid? 

Who me? 

Never that, its just that sometimes in the day,in the evening, in the night the dreaded doubt 

comes to life and tries to take flight 

inside my mind 

Time after time I suppress this feeling only to find that my heart is not totally willing 

to let go 

But yet, I still remain indebted to you, for only through you will true faith come forth 

and totally destroy any doubt, what I realize is God is in control and all ready working everything out!