Good day, friends. I know it’s been about six years since I posted here.
Here’s what happened – as I reported, I was finally released by the leukemia team at Northside Hospital over to my personal doctor. And thus I began another journey, with a full checkup every six months.
Spoiler alert – here, 9-1/2 yeas after my diagnosis with AML, I am still in remission!
And in that time, I admit, I have gone up and down about my situation. Happy that I am in remission, fearful of relapse, angry that I got it in the first place, and – okay I will admit it – bored sometimes.
As it turns out, this is know as Survivor’s Remorse. And I can tell you, after a while, I was tempted to just pretend it didn’t happen.
But, one thing I did do was participate in some leukemia survivor pages on Facebook, to give advice and support to those who had recently been diagnosed.
Earlier this spring I had a good conversation with one survivor, Tomer Solomonov, who was going through some issues. We connected rather closely, and he and I stayed in touch. He was about 3 months post transplant, and he shared with me his frustrations, celebrations, and uncertainties, while I shared my victories and tried to encourage him.
But I did notice in July that he had stopped replying to other posts. As I had done the same thing from time to time, I wasn’t worried.
Then, last week, I saw a post from his wife that he had been in ICU for two weeks, and had passed away the night before.
Honestly, I can’t fully express how I felt. Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Embarrassed that I hadn’t reached out when he went silent a few weeks before.
So, I reached out to his wife and expressed me condolences. I added her to my daily prayer list, too, and I have tried to keep up.
So, now, where am I?
Well, Survivors’ Remorse has eased some. I’m more aware, and thankful that God let me survive. I am back trying to give support, and encouraging other survivors to do so, too.
And I am back on here. And you can expect, I will share it more and more.


