Lady Oblivion

I am not a happy person at all. 

So frustrated these days samjh nahi ati kya karun? did I make the right choices in life? why did I cave in? 

I've always dreamt of having a good career & being kick ass at what I do but lately I feel like I am going to be wasted, I feel trapped.

I feel helpless & wasted all the time it drives me crazy. 

My mum has shrunk down to & become a living skeleton in front of me she wails & cries & I can do nothing about it. 

I feel like shit at the end of my day. Dil karta hai ankhein band kr ke kholon tou yeh time guzar gaya ho.

Meri zindagi mein koi asi cheez nahi hai jis se mujay kushi milay. 

I am not a fan of mehndi and I hate it when its fading off. It makes your hands look ugly.
Everything that fades off slows ends up being painful.
Like memories of the past. You are not trying to forget them you are just trying to remember new things.
Must make space for new beginnings.
This wedding was nothing like I expected or imagined it to be. Like the events, how I'd look or who will be there.
But by the end of it I realized none of that is important, wedding is the not picture you'd be looking at.
The bigger picture is going to be the marriage you've decided to be in.
Wedding ends in a night marriage follows every night after that.

Bara serious hogaya yaar, I feel no different.
''Nikkah is half of your iman'', tou chalo adha iman tu pura hoa haha.

Jokes apart he seems kinda nice. I think kuch theek he hogaya faisla.
I am just too mature for my age. I wish I could lay back a little sometimes & just be immature,foolish and typical.  

kashtiyan jala ke aagae hain. haye utter mad jazbati mein. 

I need some time to hibernate. Everyone at my place needs to hibernate seperatley. We need some alone time. 

Amma needs a proper vacation. She bounced back from caner but its not the same no matter how much she tries to be or we pretend its not the same. 

I wish i could something productive with my life. 

chutspa na ban jae mera bas.