Korean Fan

When Fandom Becomes a Refuge: Understanding a Tragic Wake-Up Call from Kerala

A deeply tragic incident in Kerala, where a 16-year-old girl reportedly died following the death of a South Korean celebrity she admired intensely, has shaken many people into asking difficult questions. The girl was said to be a devoted follower of the celebrity’s videos and public appearances, and her emotional attachment appeared far deeper than ordinary admiration.

This is not a story that should be reduced to “obsession” or dismissed as teenage infatuation. It is, instead, a mirror reflecting a quieter crisis unfolding among many young people—especially girls—who are growing up emotionally unheard.

Beyond Trend: Korean Culture as Emotional Shelter

The growing affection many young girls in Kerala and elsewhere feel toward Korean dramas and celebrities is often mocked as a passing trend. But this tragedy reminds us of an uncomfortable truth: for some, Korean popular culture functions as an emotional shelter, not entertainment alone.

In Korean dramas, love is portrayed slowly and attentively. Women’s emotions are centered. Male characters are shown as gentle, emotionally expressive, respectful, and unashamed of vulnerability. They cry, wait, apologize, and care. For girls who experience neglect, emotional invalidation, loneliness, or rigid gender expectations in real life, these narratives can awaken a powerful thought:

“What if someone loved me like that?”

This longing is not shallow. It is profoundly human.

Parasocial Bonds and Fragile Minds

When emotional needs remain unmet in real life, some young minds begin forming parasocial attachments—one-sided emotional bonds with media figures who feel safe, ideal, and emotionally available. These relationships feel real, even though they are not reciprocal.

In psychology, extreme forms of such attachment are sometimes discussed under conditions like erotomanic delusions (Clérambault’s syndrome), but it is crucial to be clear: most fans do not suffer from mental illness, and it would be unethical to label this girl posthumously. What matters more is recognizing emotional vulnerability.

When a young person’s inner world becomes anchored to a fantasy figure, the collapse of that fantasy—through scandal, withdrawal, or death—can feel like the collapse of meaning itself. For a fragile mind, reality may suddenly feel unbearable.

What This Tragedy Is Really Telling Us

This incident should not be framed as “Korean obsession gone wrong.” That narrative misses the point entirely.

What it actually exposes is:

  • Growing emotional loneliness among adolescents
  • A lack of safe spaces to express vulnerability
  • Poor mental-health literacy in families and schools
  • Blurred boundaries between fantasy and reality
  • Social environments where girls’ emotional needs are minimized or dismissed

When a society does not listen, young people look elsewhere—to screens, stories, and distant faces—for understanding.

A Collective Responsibility

This tragedy is a warning, not an anomaly. It urges parents, educators, and communities to ask harder questions:

  • Do our children feel emotionally seen?
  • Do they have safe adults to talk to without fear or shame?
  • Are we teaching them how to separate fantasy from life without mocking their feelings?

Most importantly, are we listening—before silence becomes irreversible?

Moving Forward with Care

No single culture, celebrity, or fandom is to blame here. What deserves scrutiny is the emotional climate in which young people are growing up.

If we respond with ridicule or moral panic, we will fail them again. If we respond with empathy, conversation, and support, we may prevent the next tragedy.

Because when a young person disappears into fantasy, it is often because reality has offered them too little warmth.

If you or someone you know is struggling

In India, confidential mental-health support is available:
imtm + 91 9495045230
( WhatsApp message only)

The tyranny

When a narcissistic president rules us:

Power without empathy becomes control. Policies are chosen for how they reflect on the leader, not for their outcomes.

History is rewritten to center them. Unity without listening becomes silence.

Innovation slows. Creativity becomes imitation. Leadership without self-doubt becomes tyranny.

People learn to survive, not to flourish.

Advisors become flatterers. Data is filtered to avoid upsetting the leader. Bad news disappears—or is manipulated through lies.

He will say: “You are included only if you reflect me well.”* He will consider all disagreement a threat to his identity.

Science, art, and education are praised only if they glorify the leader.

A narcissistic president would not fail because of logistics. They would fail because: the world is too complex to love a mirror more than reality.


https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1QLn6vHQKV/

14 the Anniversary

WordPress began as a small, community driven dream shaped by Matt Mullenweg, an American developer, and Mike Little, a British developer. With shared curiosity and generosity of spirit, they laid the foundation for what would later grow into a global open source movement.
Over time, that simple beginning evolved into the world’s most widely used website platform, built on the values of openness, collaboration, and shared knowledge. Today, WordPress powers more than 40 percent of all websites on the internet and serves individuals, small businesses, non profit organizations, governments, universities, and major global companies across the world.
I first came to know about WordPress fourteen years ago and joined it as a blogger. What began as a platform soon became a companion in my journey of expression and learning. Today marks my fourteenth anniversary with WordPress, and I remain grateful for the community, the freedom, and the countless voices it has helped bring to life.
https://www.facebook.com/share/18EnAQjo1c/
Dr. Nelson Kattikat Joseph
26/01/2025

Mourning

Mourning

In Minnesota’s gray morning light,
In deadly ICE cold,
There stood a healer, gentle and bright,
Alex Pretti, a nurse of care, Who drew the breath back from despair.

He bore no weapon in his hand, Only truth he tried to stand,
A witness to hurt, A solace,
A shield for those Who found themselves where danger rose.

He filmed the scene, silently,
A phone in sight,in his right hand,
Nothing more but human right, To help the fallen from the ground,
To stand between them and the sound.
Just a mediator, for peace.

A push, a spray, confusion’s cry, He reached to help, he did not fly,
He was there for his friends,
Yet force descended, bodies pressed,
And violence answered hearts distressed.

They pinned him down,
he could not flee,
Yet shots rang out so mercilessly, so brutally.
Not once, not twice, but multiple fire— A life undone in unleashed ire.

No cause to kill,
no threat declared,
Only courage, love, and heart laid bare,
A nurse who cared, who stood to save,
Now mourned by those he could not stave.

And still we wonder at the cost Of lives cut short, of souls once lost,
When blood runs same through every vein,
How can such pain, such hate remain? in vain.

Not for reason,
not for reason’s sake,
But words of power that hearts can break,
Poisoned slogans in the wind,
The darkness from the right wing, the darkest president,
Make monsters where there were good men.

Alex, we grieve your quiet grace, Your spirit’s light no shot can erase,
May memory rise and voices claim: Compassion’s fire outlives the flame.

Dr. Nelson Kattikat
IMTM (I Mind The Mind)

Mourning

Mourning

In Minnesota’s gray morning light,
In deadly ICE cold,
There stood a healer, gentle and bright,
Alex Pretti, a nurse of care, Who drew the breath back from despair.

He bore no weapon in his hand, Only truth he tried to stand,
A witness to hurt, A solace,
A shield for those Who found themselves where danger rose.

He filmed the scene, silently,
A phone in sight,in his right hand,
Nothing more but human right, To help the fallen from the ground,
To stand between them and the sound.
Just a mediator, for peace.

A push, a spray, confusion’s cry, He reached to help, he did not fly,
He was there for his friends,
Yet force descended, bodies pressed,
And violence answered hearts distressed.

They pinned him down,
he could not flee,
Yet shots rang out so mercilessly, so brutally.
Not once, not twice, but multiple fire— A life undone in unleashed ire.

No cause to kill,
no threat declared,
Only courage, love, and heart laid bare,
A nurse who cared, who stood to save,
Now mourned by those he could not stave.

And still we wonder at the cost Of lives cut short, of souls once lost,
When blood runs same through every vein,
How can such pain, such hate remain? in vain.

Not for reason,
not for reason’s sake,
But words of power that hearts can break,
Poisoned slogans in the wind,
The darkness from the right wing, the darkest president,
Make monsters where there were good men.

Alex, we grieve your quiet grace, Your spirit’s light no shot can erase,
May memory rise and voices claim: Compassion’s fire outlives the flame.

Dr. Nelson Kattikat
IMTM (I Mind The Mind)

Unus Mundus

For Carl Jung, the inner world of thoughts, dreams, and emotions and the outer world of physical events, nature, accidents, and history are not separate. This division is artificial. Everything, both psychological events and physical events, arises from one underlying reality. Jung called this reality Unus Mundus, a Latin term meaning,One World.

In Unus Mundus, reality is neither psychological nor physical in itself. It exists at a pre-dual level. According to Jung, all events must have an a priori aspect of unity. Only later does this unity divide into subject and object. Psyche and matter both arise from the same source. As they emerge, inner and outer become distinguishable. Dualities such as mind and matter, self and other, inner and outer appear. But at the deepest level, there is no division.

This idea is remarkably close to Advaita Vedanta, the philosophy of non-duality.

In short, Jung is saying that events are not randomly stitched together after the fact. Their unity exists before we interpret them. This understanding forms the philosophical basis of synchronicity. Synchronicity refers to meaningful coincidences that are not linked by cause and effect, but are connected through meaning and pattern. In a unified reality, inner and outer events can mirror each other because they emerge from the same source.

Jung is not saying that everything happens for a moral or religious reason, nor that thoughts magically cause events. He is saying something subtler. Inner states and outer events can co-occur meaningfully because both arise from the same underlying reality.

Simple Everyday Examples

Example 1

You have not spoken to an old friend for years. One evening, they suddenly come to your mind with strong emotion. Minutes or hours later, they call or message you. Your thought did not cause the call, and the call did not cause the thought. Yet the timing feels meaningful. Jung would say that your psyche entered a particular emotional pattern, and the outer world mirrored that same pattern at the same moment. Both arose from the same underlying field. This is called synchronicity, not coincidence.

Example 2: Crisis Moments and Life Crossroads

You are stuck in a job that feels empty inside. You feel drained and purposeless. You silently think, “I cannot go on like this.” Within days, you may randomly meet someone who left a similar career, or read a book that precisely names your inner conflict, or encounter an unexpected opportunity. These events are not caused by your dissatisfaction, but they arrive when your inner state is ready. Jung would say that when the psyche reaches a threshold, reality often reorganizes symbolically around it.

Example 3: Illness and Symbolic Events

A person lives under long-term emotional suppression, always pleasing others and never expressing anger or grief. Over time, they may develop unexplained physical symptoms or suddenly face an external breakdown such as loss, conflict, or collapse. Modern medicine looks only for causes. Jung asks what meaning the body or situation is expressing. Inner truth and outer events speak the same language.

Example 4: Dreams Meeting Reality

Someone dreams of a bridge collapsing or being unable to cross a river. The next day, a relationship ends, a job ends, or an important life phase collapses. The dream did not predict the event, and the event did not cause the dream. Both express the same psychic situation unfolding.

Example 5: Relationships and Repeated Patterns

Some people ask, “Why does this keep happening to me?” A person repeatedly attracts emotionally unavailable partners or controlling figures. Each relationship looks different on the surface but carries the same emotional structure. Jung would say the inner pattern is active, and the outer world brings people who fit that pattern. Until the inner meaning is recognized, the pattern repeats. This is not fate. It is unfinished psychological meaning seeking awareness.

Example 6: Sudden Symbols in Meaningful Moments

Jung famously described a patient who spoke of a dream involving a golden beetle. At that exact moment, a beetle, very rare in that area, tapped on the window. This moment was powerful because the patient was emotionally stuck, and the symbol shattered her rigid worldview. The moment carried meaning, not causality. Life sometimes speaks in symbolic gestures rather than explanations. Similarly, some people unexpectedly hear a song that deeply resonates with them during a crisis, appearing from somewhere almost mysteriously.

IMTM (I Mind The Mind)
A free online counselling service
Contact us via WhatsApp message:
Adv. Vrinda Sankar
Senior Psychologist & Advocate, IMTM
+91 62354 89007
Dr. Nelson Kattikat
Psychiatrist, Hypnotherapist
+91 94950 4530

Yellow

Once, we are like fresh green leaves, full of life and promise.
Slowly, the green fades into yellow, then into grey, and finally into the grave.
The body returns to the earth, becoming nourishment for microorganisms, and in time, fertilizer for new trees.
This cycle is inevitable.


So cherish life while it is here.Be here and now.
Nurture good relationships.
Live with kindness, love, and awareness.
Above all, lead a life that is meaningful.

A study on social media

Topic of the study was “Diverse platforms, diverse effects: Evidence from a 100-day study on social media and adolescent mental health”.This study tracked social media use and mental health for 479 adolescents over 100 days.

Its key observation is that social media doesn’t affect all young people the same way.For a majority (~60 %), social media use had consistently negative effects on well-being, self-esteem, and friendships.For a smaller group (~13.6 %), there were mixed effects—some aspects were harmed while others showed benefits.

Different platforms had different impacts: TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube were more linked to negative outcomes, while WhatsApp and Snapchat showed minimal or even positive effects.

Why it matters Instead of treating “social media” as a single factor, this research demonstrates that:The type of platform matters for adolescent mental health.

Effects can be both harmful and beneficial depending on the individual and context.Tailored approaches are needed for supporting youth psychological well-being in this context.

Ref:Current Psychology (Springer Nature)

Published: 19 December 2025DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-025-08893-7 Springer

I Mind “The Mind”

In the year 2020, I was working as the Chief Psychiatrist at the Mental Health Centre, Peroorkada, Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala. It was my 23rd year in the Kerala Government Health Service.

While I was taking a class for psychology students, one student asked, ‘Sir, why can’t we start an online platform to discuss psychological topics?’ At that time, the class consisted of a small group of about ten students.

After the class, we gathered in the conference hall to discuss the idea and to decide on a name for the platform. Some postgraduate students of psychiatry, from medical college trivandrum were present in the hall also joined the discussion. One of them suggested the name “I Mind The Mind.”
Thus was born our WhatsApp group, I Mind The Mind on 26/02/2000. In the beginning, it consisted of just 20–30 psychology students. The intention was simple—to create a space for psychological awareness among students. Gradually, a thought emerged: why limit this only to students? Why not extend awareness to the wider public as well?

We began inviting people from all walks of life. Soon, discussions expanded to include real-life psychological concerns faced by society—faulty parenting, child abuse, substance addiction, suicide, and many other deeply troubling issues. At that time, Kerala stood as the state with the highest suicide rate, a reality that weighed heavily on all of us.

One day, a member asked a question that changed everything: “Why can’t we do something to prevent suicide?” That question became the turning point.

From there, we launched a free online counselling platform, driven purely by compassion. Around 60 psychologists volunteered their services—day and night, without expectation or reward. These volunteers came not only from India, but also from abroad. Anyone who could communicate in Malayalam, Tamil, Hindi, or English could reach out to us through WhatsApp.

When a person in need contacted us, the message was shared in our sub-group, “I Am Here for You.”A psychologist who was available at that moment would step forward, and the client would be gently allotted for counselling. So far, more than 325 individuals from different parts of the world have received counselling through this initiative.

Confidentiality was always sacred. Psychologists discussed cases with me or with senior psychologist Mrs. Vrinda Sankar only for guidance, never revealing the identity of the client. Case details were submitted through a Google Form to our office, recorded only with a number to protect anonymity. Even clients were never required to disclose their name or personal identity.

Many who received counselling later sent voice messages expressing their gratitude. Hearing their joyful voices—knowing that they found hope again, that they chose life—has been the greatest reward for me and for the entire team.

The true backbone of this free counselling programme, “I Am Here for You,” is those 60 psychologists—who offered their time, energy, and compassion unconditionally to emotionally distressed souls who had nowhere else to turn.

That spirit of selfless service is, and always will be, the heart of I Mind The Mind.
Dr. Nelson Kattikat Joseph

Founder of I Mind The Mind Trust

Registered, charitable trust

Registration number : 493/IV/25

Trivandrum, Kerala, India.

( IM International Foundation)


Contact:
Email.
imtm4u@gmail.com

web: https://www.imtm.org.in

Phone.+919495045230( WhatsApp message only)

IMTM (I Mind The Mind)
A free online counselling service
Contact us via WhatsApp message:
Adv. Vrinda Sankar
Senior Psychologist & Advocate, IMTM
+91 62354 89007
Dr. Nelson Kattikat
Psychiatrist, Hypnotherapist
+91 94950 4530

God’s own country

K LF

Sunita Williams, the renowned former NASA astronaut, visited Kozhikode, Kerala, God’s own country, to participate in the Kerala Literature Festival (KLF) 2026 held from January 22–25, 2026. She was invited as a key speaker and guest at this major cultural event.

At the festival she took part in the inaugural session along with other notable figures.

  • In the occassion, she did interactions with children and conversations about her space experiences.She Spoke about “Dreams Reach Orbit: Meet the Astronaut Who Touched the Sky”. It was a wonderful, rare experience for the children and other participants in the festival.
  • Shared reflections on science, spirituality, human curiosity, and imagination.

Attendees included actors, writers and cultural figures — for example Prakash Raj and Bhavana,both are actors, who shared memorable moments with her at the event.

She was invited by the organisers of the Kerala Literature Festival because the festival expanded its scope beyond just books and authors to also include science, exploration, leadership, and human spirit themes. Sunita Williams — as an astronaut who has spent over 300+ days in space and holds records for spacewalks — was seen as an inspiring figure who could speak to those themes.

Why was she a participant at a literature festival?

Although she is not a literary writer, KLF is known for inviting speakers from different fields — not just traditional authors — including scientists, thinkers, artists, astronauts, leaders, etc. The theme in her sessions focused on imagination, exploration, human curiosity, and life lessons from space, which the festival considered valuable for its audience.Another reason may be,she has Indian heritage — her father is of Indian origin — which is meaningful culturally.

  • In her talks, she expressed a warm feeling toward India and her connection with Indian culture and people.💙