Name: Mark G Pakulak (G for “Great” or “Gerald”, take your pick)
Height: Used to be 6’2″. So beaten down by life in general, probably about 4′ 11″ now.
Weight: More than a bread box, slightly less than a bread TRUCK.
Eyes: Two
Hair: Santa Claus White (Or Sam Elliott Platinum)
Occupation: Disabled Artist Blogger Househusband Babysitter Microwave Chef bedcover hog.
Currently reside in: Political HELL, aka North Texas.
From: Oregon (Save the Gaby Baby Whales!)
Political Status: Too Liberal for Texas
Favorite Food: Chinesemexicanbrisketsushi
Favorite Drink: Red Wine
Favorite Wine: Onsalebigassedbottle Merlot 2014
Favorite Music: 1970’s Disco
Favorite TV Show: Seinfeld
Favorite Bone: Humerus
Former careers include: Cave Guide, Intelligence Analyst, Nurse.
Military Service: US Air Force
Favorite Sport: English Football, College Football, and Hockey.
Person I would deport first: Justin Bieber
Believe in UFO’s?” YES
Believe in Bigfoot? YES
Believe in Ghosts? YES
Believe in Donuts? You betcha
If I had a Million Dollars: I would have my feet surgically removed and then have them implanted in the posterior of the surgeon that crippled me.
One thing I have NEVER owned: A Smartphone
Can I connect a DVR to a TV?: Yeah right……. that’s funny. No way.
Favorite Song: “Sara” by Fleetwood Mac.
Favorite Movie: “Raising Arizona”
What I binge Watch on Netflix: Breaking Bad
Favorite style of humor: British
Favorite Animal: Penguin
Favorite Color: Purple
Favorite Album: Purple Rain
Am I really an Idiot?: Drivers License says NO. MRI results show it’s a good possibility.

Least favorite place on the Planet: ANY Wal-Mart.
Favorite Place on the Planet: Red River, NM
Recent funny thing heard: Son farting in bathtub through wall of my computer room.
What I can say in fluent Russian: “Don’t shoot! I know secrets!”
Countries lived in: Four
States Lived in: Eight
Weirdest thing I have eaten: Armadillo in Bolivia
Weird yet True: I was a claustrophobic Cave Guide
My children cringe when: I attempt to sing Katy Perry songs out loud in the car.
Grandchildren: Three little Angels.
Favorite Musical Year: 1984
Wife: Sleep punches me during the middle of the night
Cats: Two
What I’m doing as you are reading this: Painting or Eating.
Where can I find these paintings?: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaintingsbyPak
Proud confession: I have never watched “Here comes Honey Boo Boo” or “Duck Dynasty”.
Favorite Seinfeld character: George Costanza “The sea was angry that day my friends….”
Another binge watching pleasure: “Big Bang Theory” on DVD.