i honestly am not sure why i’m doing this. in the first place, i can’t even swim. and this is the first time ever that i’m going to try it. why now?

then my heart answers, with raised brow and an impish grin, “why not now?”

i’m scared, that’s for sure. i do feel apprehensive at having all these new acquaintances see me floundering too.  looking closely, i think i feel more scared about looking like a schmuck rather than drowning. this being the case, i really don’t have a valid reason for not going, do i?

and besides, i’m getting old. i’d look funnier doing this if i was already in my 30s or 40s. :p (no offense to the middle-aged).

courage too, is born out of pursuing or doing things despite and inspite of our fear. so there you go. wakeboarding it is then.

i’ll let you know on Monday!

i’m not happy with my job anymore.

i don’t like the person i’ve become because of this.  i don’t like the fact that it makes me doubt myself all the time. i don’t like it that i’ve become more paranoid than i already am (can you imagine?!) or that my temper has been less forgiving.

i don’t like it that i’m spending most of my day doing something i really have grown tired of doing. day in, day out. even when i’m dreaming.

i don’t like it that i’m ranting about not liking my work all  the time now.  i get irritated with myself so i can just imagine what it must be for my friends aka my sounding boards. it must be hell. i’m spewing nothing but negative thoughts, negative vibes, nega, nega, nega.

my friend once told me that i wouldn’t be happy with myself if i left my job because it’s too hard for me. but does it really have to be this hard? was it meant to be this hard?

and if i could rant as much as this, i think that’s a clear indication of where i’m headed to next.

but i’d choose to feel all these tenfold just to get to experience rowing again.

unlike most of my saturdays, i woke up today at 7:00am, left the house with two of my friends about an hour after that and we went straight to the river park for today’s big event. yep, it’s my first time to try this sport. i was a little anxious because i am afraid of swimming, we don’t know anyone there and this sport surely takes a lot of strength and endurance to complete – two things i found myself short on lately.

so anyway, we went there just for the heck of it. we thought it was going to be a “fun” race. but no, we got a taste of how dragon boat competitions feel like. WE WERE REALLY GOING TO COMPETE! they gave us the basics of course, rowed 200m which was the race distance we would be competing in later on, tried the long hauls and got to know what “charge!” really means.

then it was time for the eliminations or heats as they call these. our boat won the first heat at 59 seconds. yes. 59 seconds. for the professionals, this will still surely be considered slow. but for a newbie, this is mind-boggling to me. being the fastest in that round, we were immediately qualified for the finals.

the tension and the pressure to win was palpable. as we moved towards the starting line, my friends and i were teasing each other with quips like “is that your game face on?” or questions like “what are we doing here?” or “we thought this was just a fun-so-so race?” but deep inside, there’s tension coiling inside me, as i’m sure the others were feeling too. we have got to win this, i thought then.

and at the signal, we rowed with such gusto. i never thought i could paddle as fast or as strong as i did in those moments. but it wasn’t meant to be. we lagged midway and ended up at the third place. there was just silence in our boat, until our trainer who also acted as our steerman cheered us up.

still, not bad for newbies. 3rd place is still a good place to be in. and those few hours we spent in the company of such fun-loving, humorous and accommodating people was just so worth it.

so yes, just let me know when it’s time to paddle up again!

when am i getting married?

my eyes would roll up, my lips thin out to form a tight smile and i would just shrug my shoulders. “why ask me,” i say, “when in the first place i don’t even have a boyfriend?”  they would then ask me why i don’t have one, then follow it up with suggestions like “smile more often. they may think you’re too serious!” or “go out!” as if by doing so, i could immediately snatch a boyfriend or as if in those few minutes that we were talking they’ve already diagnosed what i’ve been missing all these years.

i’m beginning to hate reunions and get-togethers.

so after one year of hibernation, i am back.

hello stranger.

Estrada said he would slug it out “to the end” because he wanted to be “king again.”

Estrada said the Comelec decision would have a “big impact” on his campaign” because his detractors were spreading “disinformation” that he would withdraw from the race or be disqualified.

Now that the poll body has ruled in his favor, he expects his ratings in surveys to rise.

Estrada, the candidate of the Pwersa ng Masang Pilipino, has been a consistent third placer, after Senators Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III and Manuel Villar.

Speaking at a forum at the Lyceum of the Philippines University, Estrada dismissed allegations that he would eventually withdraw and play the role of “kingmaker” by supporting another presidential candidate.

“I want to be king again myself (and) recover my throne that was stolen from me,” he told reporters when asked if he was going to be a “kingmaker.”

“Why will I withdraw? No way. No way,” he said. “I have a contract with the Filipino people—till death do us part.”

Full article from Inquirer here.

Tell me, when did we sign this contract he is talking about? OR maybe he forged it just like what he did with all those tobacco excise tax and jueteng fund cheques he signed before!!

And the scary thing about it is that there are still people out there who are buying this and are willing to vote for him!  Can’t they see how twisted this lower-than-planktons-in-the-f00d chain creature’s mind is?

King?! The president is there to serve not to be served and fawned upon.

Aaaargh! Morning stress!

What is it exactly that I do? I work for a relocation company.

As a matter of course, big companies have offices in different countries. Most of the time, they need to move people  for several reasons: to train people, to utilize a person’s expertise, to assist in setting up a new office or project, to fill up a position which cannot be filled by a local, or it may be a company strategy. Sometimes, it may just only be because the person requested for the transfer.

Once a transfer has been approved by the company, they seek our services to coordinate the entire move. We manage the person’s work permit application, shipment of household goods, homesearch in the receiving country, school search if they have children and if education is supported by the company, tax consultation, arranging hotel or serviced apartment stay if needed, language lessons and cultural awareness trainings. Basically, we try to address most of the needs of the transferee and his/her family as they move. We coordinate everything so that the transferee could focus more on his/her work and productivity is not negatively affected even during the relocation process.

In short, we absorb other people’s stress.

Just to be clear, I don’t do the legwork. The way this is set up, we have   vendors for each of those services we provide. We have     an immigration consultant, a contact from a shipping company, a tax   consultant etc. Most of the time, the transferees also liaise with these     people directly. But our role is to oversee the entire process to ensure      that everyone does their work accurately and on time and to make sure  that the transferee’s needs are communicated to the right people and    these needs are addressed.

In short, we can be mean slave drivers.

It may not be that difficult to arrange one move. You just need to check with the different contacts once in a while, follow-up here and there, make sure that the documents or information needed by one party is given to the other, or handle some last-minute changes at times. But try to manage 30-50 moves at any one time at different stages. And even if you’ve completed one move, the number is still replenished because transfers are always initiated. Add to that the ongoing services if it is part of the contract with the client (such services include monitoring the validity of the person’s work permit, taking care of housing and school payments, reimbursing expenses that are supported by the company, or helping them if they have housing issues).

Then of course, while doing all of these, you have the company’s relocation guidelines or policies to implement. As much as we want to give all that the transferee needs, there are still rules to follow. So you have to balance the needs of the transferee against the company’s resources, what it considers reasonable, and what it has decided to be the extent of its support.

It is an interesting job. As they say, each move is unique. Each transferee has unique needs. So aside from learning more about the countries where the transferees are moving from and to, this job enables a person to interact with different people, from all nationalities and backgrounds, from new managers to senior company officers.  You begin to see what things are most important to most people.

But it can be really exhausting – mentally, emotionally and physically. On a bad day, you’ll get different complaints, hear a lot of dissatisfaction, encounter problems that you and the vendors have not foreseen and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t please the client.  And if you become careless, it can cost the transferee something really big. They don’t get a house on time, they can’t find a house they like, they are moving to the assignment location but their children still have not been enrolled and no school can accommodate them, the country does not recognize the partner as the transferee’s dependent, the assignee got the wrong work permit, he/she needs to vacate the house tomorrow and you were only told today…. Most of the time, I dread reading the emails or answering the phone.

But there are also some people who make it all worthwhile.  There are transferees who really express their gratitude and they go to different lengths to make sure that your efforts are recognized. They don’t consider you as a mere assistant or a slave, but they also treat you with respect and as an equal. Some transferees remember us during the holidays. They send gifts, send a greeting, invite you to lunch or dinner, send you pictures of their family or ask their children to call you tita. But this kind of transferee can be rare.  Most of the time, they just see the process as a series of transactions.

It can be very processed-based, but in the end, this work is all about people. That’s what I have to remind myself everyday. These people are undergoing what is said to be one of the most stressful events that can happen in one’s life. They are uprooting themselves and their families to go to somewhere unfamiliar. Well yeah, it doesn’t hurt that they have big salaries and generous company benefits. But still, it’s a big change.

So we have to be very careful, very sensitive and very, very, very patient.

Hm, easy to say, but most of the time, so hard to do. Wait ’til I tell you stories about the transferees I manage.

*photo credits: Katarzyna-z, Relocation 911

” dumping 455 millimeters of rain in 24 hours, Ondoy surpassed the amount of rain (200-250 mm) unleashed by the catastrophic Hurricane “Katrina” in the southern parts of the United States on Aug. 29-31, 2005 ”

” some areas of the metropolis under up to 20 feet of water ”

” heaviest rainfall on Metro Manila in more than four decades ”

” the current was strong and we were nearly swept away. We held onto a rope… for dear life. I kept thinking this couldn’t happen to me, not in Manila ”

” for some, help never came ”

” people from all persuasions and class, total strangers, neighbors who were previously nodding acquaintances, businessmen from big corporations to the lowly sari-sari store are generously lending a helping hand to the less fortunate victims of Ondoy”

For all those who lost their lives

For all those who lost a loved one

For all those who lost their homes

For all those who lost their life’s earnings

For all those who lost their sense of security

For all those who lost the last vestiges of their trust in the government

For all those who lost everything, something, anything

I know that no words could take away the anguish, the sense of loss and the trauma you are feeling right now. But know that my prayers are always with you.

May God bring you comfort, strength, peace in the midst of this chaos, hope.

With God, we shall overcome.

* quotes used above are from the Philippine Daily Inquirer and ABS CBN news.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

— Pablo Neruda’s Sonnet XVII —