The Latest

LOST HAM.
I do not always know how certain thoughts can occur to a person.

Steve and I were watching “Blow Out”, the John Travolta psychological thriller from way back when, and from essentially out of nowhere I realize that I cannot account for some ham I purchased the day before. I was certain I had put away the other groceries, but I was utterly sure that I had not dealt specifically with that package of ham. It bothered me, but what was also mysterious was that I could remember that specific item at all.

Turned out I had put it in the freezer with a bag of pizzas, and it’s good I found that out before I had started putting up posters around the neighbourhood.

NINTENDOWEAR.
A dude in front of me on the bus had a backpack with a big Nintendo controller on it. It was all I could do to not start playing imaginary Tetris on it. Even if I had, there would have been nothing he could do about it anyway, because you can’t go wearing apparel with big red buttons on it and NOT expect somebody to try pushing them.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.
I know a thousand and one people have done comics about the little Xbox 360 “Achievement Unlocked” thing and how it could humorously fit into real life, so I didn’t. But if I had, my achievement would have been that I saved at least two ladies in one morning from falling over when the bus driver slammed on the brakes. Thanks, crazy bus driver!

GOT TO BE STARTING SOMETHING.
Here is one of the most difficult situations a modern person can be in. Let us say perhaps that you are waiting for a ride from a friend. This friend has stated that they will be there at a certain designated time to which you have both agreed. That time has crept up and passed, and you find yourself at five past the hour and rideless. As far as you know, the person is still coming, but they’re just running late and you’ve no idea by how much.

Do you sit there and wait? Or, do you start some sort of task to busy yourself, with full expectation of the fact that this task will very likely be interrupted by the person’s arrival? What I mean to say, without all the pretentious old-person speak, is do I fire up the 360 when I’m pretty sure my friend will get there right after first loading screen?

Why does that happen? That’s just the rules, I guess. I mean, it’s not a foregone conclusion. The person could be extremely late and/or not coming at all, which would give you all the time you like to do whatever task you set out to accomplish. It’s the law of averages or whatever.

Me, I say, start that task. The minor annoyance of being interrupted is probably going to be a lot less than the larger annoyance of just sitting there waiting. Take the reigns of your life, I say!

VISIONARIES OF THE FUTURE.
I have noticed that science-fiction authors generally have bad, or at least terribly old-fashioned webpages. I know that I can’t expect them to be web-code experts or anything but for guys that are talkin’ about the future so much you’d think they’d embrace it a little better. Work with it when it gets here, I mean. (For Instance)

SHAKESPEARE GAMES.
I was digging through a lot of old University stuff and I came across the original agenda comics. I have a standing issue with disliking my work as time passes, so I was really not a fan of a lot of the stuff I was coming across but I did encounter something that made me chuckle; a sketch of a Shakespeare-based fighting game! It’d be just like Street Fighter, a one-on-one brawler starring your favorite heroes and villains from all the major plays (and some more obscure, unlockable characters to be sure). The sketch had Othello and Hamlet getting ready to battle in front of the Hecate’s cauldron from Macbeth. The idea is there and you know it’s good. Now all I need is, well, a game!

FALSE NEGATIVES.
Sometimes I wonder–

(and, before I even start I’m fairly certain there’s some kind of philosophical term for what I’m about to describe but I have no idea what that might be)

Sometimes I wonder about my sunglasses. I have these clip-on things that I got with my latest pair of glasses, which is new for me. They’re…polarized? I think that’s the term. They’re quite nice and they function well, but when I look at certain surfaces, especially with certain kinds of coating on them, I see all kinds of freaky colors. Like, for instance, my iPod case. So then I get to thinking: what if my new shades are just like the ones from “They Live”? And then: “That’s ridiculous, because I haven’t seen a single alien masquerading as a human being yet.” Shortly thereafter: “Maybe I haven’t seen any because I happen to be in a safe area, not because they don’t work…?” It’s very circular.