I remember when a relationship ended for me, after almost 4 years of being in that relationship – I never realized that I became dependent on him for a lot of things and a lot of reasons. When he left and decided to marry another person in less than a year, I thought that I was going to die of sadness. The pain was too much for me to bear and it feels like nothing’s ever going to work with my life anymore. Like my life is going to end right before my eyes. After all this time I thought that I was okay but I was not. Fighting my own demons as they say was indeed tough. But then there was this time that I had an awakening I just realized that life must go on and that people change – people leave! But when you remain where you are… alone, stuck, confused and unappreciated, wasting so much time, tormenting yourself with the blame he was supposed to be feeling. It was all on me and I made my own life miserable, so I need to start my own healing and that I need to let go of things that I can no longer control.

I know that I need to stand on my feet again and I need to decide on my healing as I have no other choice but to move on. I have responsibilities to take care of financially and physically. I have children to take care on my own and there’s work too. Nobody can help me to recover but I know my family and friends supported me. They all were my lifesavers.

In my heart I know that a lot of people takes really good care of me and wishes me well and I will forever be grateful, but these people too at times bring out the stress in me. It’s not their fault if words of encouragement or acts of love are their ways of letting me know that they are always there for me, no matter what. But inside of me needed a space for my mind and my soul to rest, to listen, to love and appreciate me. For my own good. For my mental well-being.

I needed space, I needed to be alone, to think clearly, meditate, to heal. But the thought of being alone again scared and scarred me honestly. So I learned about alone time, imagine in my age I never had that. Alone time, me time. Just doing the things I want to do. But the negativity in me, the fear had kept me from doing what I should be doing for myself.

These are my realizations.

YOU GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. Or it can be plans for the future, what you want to do and what you really want. You learn to appreciate the time you give to yourself and you feel good about it.

YOU CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, GIVING MORE TIME FOR YOURSELF AND LESS DRAMA. As soon as you get used to doing things on your own, living alone will make you realize that small issues don’t bother you at all, but you will also learn that overreacting to certain issues is not a good thing so you separate yourself from all the negativity and drama and just live as simple as being alone.

YOU MAKE AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. When you are alone, you become more aware of your surroundings especially with other people. You become observant and make an effort to understand people around you. You become more forgiving.

YOU BECOME MORE CREATIVE AND LESS STRESSED. You become more focused with work or your business and not too distracted by the daily responsibilities and issues of being in a relationship. This is important because all opportunities are open for you.

YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND APPRECIATE THE BETTER YOU. Loving yourself is a good thing, when you fill yourself with love and respect it will show. Your skin is glowing, you are always smiling you become more friendly with everybody. So when this happens, you become more loving and giving to others. Other people will notice and since you learn to love yourself and be happy without someone to fill that need for you, you now have love to give. When you have love to give, it means that you’re ready to take the next step of finding someone who will appreciate the better version of you.