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the silence is so sharp, it cuts me

[entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

purpleheadphones

[	userinfo	\|	livejournal userinfo	]
[	archive	\|	journal archive	]

[Dec. 22nd, 2007|01:10 am]

purpleheadphones

[	Current Location	\|	at home	]
[	mood	\|	a little bit	]

Yes, duckies, I'm alive and kickin'. I haven't checked my journal in over a year so I have no idea what's going on with you guys. I'll leave my contact information in a separate friends-only entry; I would love to hear from you guys.

What's new with me? I don't know where to start. It's like so much has changed, but at the same time, it's still the same old.

I've graduated and joined the working ranks - I've been with Safeway Philtech for over a year now. We're a subsidiary of Safeway, a chain of grocery stores in the US and Canada.They own Safeway, Vons, Pavillons, Tom Thumb, Genuardi's, Dominick's, and other grocery stores whose names currently escape me. I'm in the IT support business and I've never realized before that running a grocery store was so complicated.

Mike and I are still together - almost 4 years this January. :)

Unless my sister withholds use of the laptop and/or the office has LiveJournal blocked, I think I'm back for good from my unintentional hiatus. For what it's worth, I've missed writing and I've missed you all.

Happy Holiday, everyone!

link

3 comments|post comment

jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ... ARGH.

[Dec. 4th, 2006|07:57 am]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	christmas	]
[	mood	\|	it's Christmas!	]

There's a Santa Claus statue/mannequin in the lobby of the RCBC, dancing to the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock". Every time I pass by the lobby, I hear that song and it's starting to drive me insane.

Things have been going really well. I've been doing my Christmas shopping and I've really gotten into the spirit of it. Unfortunately, I don't have a very big budget for presents this year. I keep wanting to buy presents for people, it's frustrating!

My family and I have gotten to posting our wish list on the fridge door. We're all sort of stumped about what to get for each other so the list helps a lot. I seem to have bought really boring presents for my parents - a flat iron and a bra for my mom, an electric shaver for my dad.

I still need to get presents for my officemates. I have no idea what to get the guys, argh! Why is it so difficult to buy gifts for boys? I haven't gotten anything for my sister either. I was supposed to get a memeory stick for Mike's cellphone so he can store more mp3s but his parents sent him the new Shuffle so a memory stick seems to be pretty redundant. I'm back to square one.

I'm excited to go home and wrap the presents I bought. I still need to buy ribbon though. We still haven't decorated the house; the Christmas tree hasn't been put up either. :(

link

3 comments|post comment

[Nov. 23rd, 2006|12:30 am]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	work	]
[	mood	\|	sleepy	]

I was driving to work this morning and I saw the partially risen sun shining dully through the smog. It made me long to leave the city and go to a quiet province where I can see the startlingly blue sky and puffy, marshmallow-y clouds. It doesn't even have to be a tourist destination, although a beach would be an added bonus. I just want to go someplace quiet and relaxed, away from the hustle and bustle of Manila.

I've been going to work for, um, *counts* four weeks now. It takes me at least an hour and a half to get to Makati from Fairview (and vice versa). The traffic is just horrible, I hate driving during rush hour and I find myself grumbling and cursing at other drivers.

Training's okay. I've been learning new things and I've made friends with my co-apprentices. I've been bringing lunch to work because I'm cheap like that. Practically half my pay goes to gas and parking so I need to cut back on other expenses.

I'm still adjusting to work. Physically, if not mentally and emotionally. I've practically been bumming for the last two months of my last semester so I wasn't prepared to work 9-hour shifts and drive in rush hour traffice. I wake up at 5AM and I'm asleep by 10PM (at the latest) but I'm still so sleey when I wake up! I wonder if I'm going to adjust to it eventually or if I'm going to feel this way forever (dear God, please, no!).

Anyway, I'm work right now and I'm just waiting for the trainor to arrive. I work in RCBC Plaza on the corner of Ayala and Buendia. If you're near the area, text me if you want to meet up. I get out at 5pm.

link

4 comments|post comment

[Oct. 17th, 2006|06:32 am]

purpleheadphones

[

mood

|

lost

]

I'm at the lab right now. I just submitted my hardbound thesis paper and the semester is over for me. Next week, I won't be going here anymore - I'll be going to Makati instead. I cleared out my workspace earlier. I packed my food box, toiletries box, mug, picture frames, an "i love you" post-it from Mike, and an origami crane. I felt so sad while doing it; I felt like I was uprooting myself. This was home for over two years. I probably spent more time here than I did at home. Now, I'm leaving.

link

[Sep. 27th, 2006|03:13 pm]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	work	]
[	mood	\|	chipper	]

I have work!

Well, not right now, but I will but "I will have work" just doesn't seem as catchy. I got a job offer from Safeway Philtech (they're a subsidiary of Safeway - a chain of grocery stores and drugstores in the US and Canada - and the office here handles their IT) and I accepted it. The compensation package isn't WOW (like in HP, huhuhu) but I get a decent salary and the usual benefits. I like the office, it's on the 21st and 22nd floor of RCBC Plaza in Makati. I'll have my own little station with locked drawers to keep stuff in and enough table space to put pictures and other things. I can nest!

The schedule's shifting which is something I've sort of resigned myself to. At least I'll get paid 20% more for my night differential. I might not get Saturdays and Sundays off - I might have them on other days of the week. I'll be working in Makati so I'm only two blocks away from Mike's office and I have plenty of friends who work in Makati so I can have a social life again! They have casual Fridays so I can go to work in jeans and sneakers. Gas and parking are probably going to use up half of my salary, gah.

I'll be training for two months, and because of that training, I have a two-year bond with the company. I feel a little iffy about that, but I'm telling myself that I've always planned to stay for quite some time in the first company I work in so that's not really a deviation from the plan.

Anyway, I start training on October 23. I need to start fixing the requirements for the job (SSS, NBI clearance, medical exam, etc) next week. But first, I need to make sure I pass my one and only subject for this sem. *fingers crossed*

I'm so happy! :D

link

11 comments|post comment

[Sep. 15th, 2006|12:56 pm]

purpleheadphones

[

mood

|

melancholy

melancholy

]

We buried Carlo yesterday. Or rather, we re-buried him. My parents wanted to move his bones from the cemetery in San Juan to a much nicer crypt in St. Peter's where he'll also be much nearer to us. The bundle of his bones was pitifully small, even smaller than you would expect of a two-year old boy. My mother brought some of his clothes that she has kept for the last 23 years. My sister and I bought a little toy car for him. When my dad arrived at the church, my mom eagerly reached for the box that contained his bones and embraced it. As I looked at her I realized that there are some wounds even time cannot heal. Some hurts never go away.

It's probably why I've been feeling so melancholy lately. It's a little strange to be affected by his death because I've never even met him. Is it possible to mourn someone when you've never met that person? Maybe I'm mourning the fact that I never got the chance to meet him. It's a part of our family that I can never share with them. I don't have any memories of being with him, or even any memories of him at all. They never talk about him, not even to me. Because of that, I don't know him at all. He would have turned 25 last September 1. I've always wanted an older brother.

link

1 comment|post comment

belated entry about Shanghai

[Aug. 29th, 2006|11:05 am]

purpleheadphones

[	mood	\|	sleepy	]
[	music	\|	my labmates singing some song they composed	]

I went to Eastwood yesterday to take an exam for Soluziona - it's a Spain-based BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) company. Less than half an hour after I left their office, they called me to invite me for an interview, so I'm going there this afternoon.

I really need to start looking for a job. I wouldn't mind starting immediately after my graduate. I probably need to because I haven't saved up a single cent for Christmas.

( written last July 19, 2006 - my first day in China Collapse )

link

[Aug. 8th, 2006|06:52 pm]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	school	]
[	mood	\|	nervous	]

Thesis halfway presentation is on Thursday. I'm a nervous wreck. I can barely sleep at night, worrying about my presentation. Everyone tells me I shouldn't be worried at all - I presented to a group of experts in Shanghai, I should easily be able to present to a group of professors here. But I was a nervous wreck there too!

(Oh yeah, I won third prize in the 2006 Intel Cup contest in Shanghai. Crap, I still haven't found the time to edit my pictures and journal entries from my trip. Maybe next week.)

I'm always so anxious about my academics. Ask Mike, haha. Every semester, I get all teary while ranting to Mike about how I think I'm going to fail my subjects. Every semester, I believe that.

I can't wait until this is over so I can relax. Unfortunately, I have a nasty feeling that my adviser's still going to be assigning me some tasks until the end of the semester because he's not the type who'd just let me sit idly the rest of the sem. It's not fair! I've been working my ass off since summer!

Please, please, please, I hope it all goes well. *crosses fingers*

link

1 comment|post comment

[Jul. 26th, 2006|07:31 pm]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	family	]
[	mood	\|	melancholy	]

I got back from Shanghai last Sunday. It felt so good to be back home where people can actually understand what you're saying. My mom was so sweet, she bought cake and cooked food for my return. It felt like the return of the prodigal son though. Haha. I'll write about my trip this weekend.

Mike's grandfather passed away last Monday. It was so sudden. He was admitted to the hospital last Friday due to liver problems. His kidneys shut down, his breathing was labored, his heart was failing, then he just slipped away. All that in just a matter of days.

For those who don't know, Mike lives with his grandparents (because his parents have been living in Laguna Niguel, California for three years now) so he has quite a close relationship with them. He and his grandfather may have had some differences but they're always respected and cared for each other. The burial service will be held on Saturday.

I was always a little bit nervous around his grandfather. He was so formal to me when my relationship with Mike was just starting. He used to call me "Miss Ejercito" instead of just plain "Lizelle". He was conservative and old-fashioned, a man who valued his privacy. But in the months that followed, he became warmer, more welcoming, and he always had a ready compliment for me.

He was a good man and he will be missed.

Goodbye, Tito Rene.

link

2 comments|post comment

China, here I come

[Jul. 15th, 2006|11:28 am]

purpleheadphones

[	Tags	\|	china, travel	]
[	mood	\|	satisfied	]

I have my VISA, my ticket, and my US$ 1,100 funding from the UP-ERDFI (University of the Philippines - Engineering & Research Development Foundation, Inc? I'm not sure about the DFI part) - I'm going to Shanghai!

My flight leaves at 11:20AM on Wed (July 19) and I'll be back by 7:30PM on Sun (July 23). Wow! I'm partly worried but I'm mostly excited about the trip. It'll be an adventure!

I hope I win something though. It's not for me, but for the university and the foundation that funded my trip. I'm getting a free trip to China because of this contest and that's more than enough for me. But I know that the university and the foundation would like to get something out of this trip - academic recognition, at least, or something.

This past week was so stressful. I was calling airlines and travel agencies. I was running around Metro Manila, from Fairview to UP to Makati to friggin' Binondo in Manila. I was awake for about 32 hours straight, finishing my project. But it's worth it. When I have the time to sit down, I think about how lucky I am to have this opportunity. I also get a sense of satisfaction knowing that I EARNED this trip. I worked hard to finish my project and I'm making all the arrangements for this - tickets, accomodations, paperwork, etc.

I'm off to Google facts about Shanghai. If anyone has been there, your input would be greatly appreciated. :)

link

1 comment|post comment

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