|
|
| CARVIEW |
Prague.” It has silver sparkles at the top. The sparkles remind me how Praha bewitched me at night with castle spires lit against star-filled skies, the full moon taking center stage. A city where even the buildings dance.
March 6, 2014
I’ve heard about Bali my whole life and it seemed like an exotic place only other people would visit. But today, I’m going to set foot there. There were a million reasons to not go. To stay stuck in fear. To pull back, especially in the face of so much pain and uncertainty— but I didn’t. I chose to Go Big, and this is my new philosophy. My new North Star. I’ve decided I don’t want to live my life as I always have. I want to live differently. I’m not completely certain what this will look like. I’ve decided I’d like to travel and write and work incredibly hard to support myself with my pen (camera and computer too).
I would find that the real magic in my life lies in an elegant truth. An elegant truth it would take a trip around the world to discover.
Java, this ancient place of mystery and history, the island where my dad was born, the island where he fought for his survival during WWII, transformed me and my pain.
GOING BIG
Calls of “hello”
Big smiles
Swimming in holy water
Offerings to volcano cauldrons
Beautiful simplicity
24/7 people in crowded squares
Life, life, life
Manic driving and motors
4:30 AM calls to prayer
Jungle shrieks and hums
I will miss it all
Everything
The bike ride with Hannah, Tim and Peter
through the nighttime streets of Pandangaran
Volleyball, 2 AM feasts
Clove cigarettes
Perfect strangers
helping, caring
Kites catching
flying foxes for dinner
Markets and the mystical
A witch’s spell cast
A holy tree wrapped
The spirit world
A heartbeat away
Waiting to be felt
Waiting to speak
Listen
Living with duplicity
the black and the white
the left hand and the right
good and evil
all have a place
here,
finding a balance
A great harvest ahead
Without fear
Without pain
Secure
in the joy
that comes from
GOING BIG
Rice harvest March, 2014 Yogyakarta, Indonesia
It’s my last few hours on Java and I’ll take it home with me. Whenever I feel unclear or uncertain, I’ll bring the harvest in the palm-tree fringed rice paddies to mind, trusting a rich harvest is ahead.
I take the ferry from Java to Bali today. My dear Indonesian friend warned me about the ferries. “They sink a lot of the time. Go to Bali another way,” she said. I prayed extra-hard on the crossing, so breathtakingly beautiful I can’t imagine arriving on Bali any other way.
The Hindu temples here have monuments at their entrances in the shape of hands in prayer. As you walk through, they bless you and as you leave they wish you well.
I went to the gardens of good and evil at the Goa Gajah temple in Ubud. I was kind of shocked how they acknowledge the evil spirits in this way, so different than the West.
My guide, Ketut, told me that there was a small school in the Elephant Cave at the temple here. Once upon a time, the King taught boys there about religion and philosophy. Ketut mentioned that the students were instructed in controlling their emotions because it is the only thing a person can control. He said that when there is a problem, that the problem always lies inside you, never inside another person. The the only two things a person should pray for from God, according to Ketut, is health and harmony in the family. When life is out of balance then there is a problem.
The paper I picked up on Bali
Word of the disappearing Malaysian Airlines plane shocked the world, and Indonesia was in the spotlight for the search and rescue effort. As countries scoured the Java Sea for the missing plane, relatives contacted me and my fellow traveling friends to ask about our welfare.
Was our next flight a Malaysian airlines flight? It’s hard to put into words what it’s like to go through such a global event at the heart of the event itself.
Of course I think about how short life really is. And how small the world really is. And how if we could just wrap our arms around each other more, we would weep less. That it’s ok to be afraid of the unknown, even when the world asks the question about how the impossible can happen. It’s okay not to have any of the answers you want and need when you want and need them. It’s part of the journey. Back at home people were concerned at me traveling so far away to places so different from the U.S. The more I travel, the more I understand that the key to world peace is in the friendships we make. Because, in the end, we all want the same things. We want to be happy. We want our children to be healthy. We want to be there for our friends. The more friends we have in the world the more peace we will have in the world. – March 9, 2014
It’s like Hannah said, there’s a difference between going on vacation and traveling. She told me we are travelers. And I believe it was at this point in the trip I took inspiration from Hannah and became a true traveller myself.
to be continued….
]]>
wild ginger flower
March 2, 2014
Seloliman Nature Reserve, Java
The jungle hikes at Seloliman will stay in my imagination forever. So much to inspire. The great variety of life…the beauty of the wild. I thank God for waist-deep hikes in this jungle. Swallowed in nature, I’m blessed to experience the aliveness of an exotic world. A world my dad called home.
a jungle creature
“It’s loud in the jungle, just like Dad said. Full of hums and chirps, calls and caws, crescendos and croaks and howls. There’s a million creatures out there and my mind’s alive with the intoxication of sound! One of the best experiences of my life—sitting here on the bed, under the mosquito netting, journaling to the jungle’s symphony.”
March 4, 2014
Kilabaru, Java
“I just killed a spider for Hannah, she’s adorable. A total sweetheart, she’s extremely adventurous, but really upset by insects. At our last place in Seloliman Nature Preserve, our bathrooms were outside and she had a wasp nest under her sink. She was staying all alone that night (it was her night to have a room all to herself, we all take turns). When she screamed and I was the one to kill the spider, I realized that I’d be killing my own spiders from now on. Once upon a time, he took care of that. So many things shared, so many things lost.”
holy water at the temple at Seloliman
March 5, 2014
Kilabaru, Java
“One of the most amazing memories of the trip so far was when I swam at the Hindu temple in Seloliman. It was completely spontaneous. We’d just hiked to the temple, and before I knew it I was swimming in the temple’s holy water. I loved it. Every second of it. There’s such power in following my instincts, even though I have no idea where they might take me. All I know is that I’m more me when I pay attention to them.
I was deeply sad at the temple (I think it had something to do with the fact that I would be killing all my own spiders from now on) and I wanted to wash the sadness away. After I went for a swim, my friend David came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He asked how I was. The gesture so very unexpected and so very nice. It was the kind of tenderness I wasn’t used to.
Thunder’s booming in the distance and is a comfort. I like the rhythm of the storms. We have no water in our room right now. Last night I blew a fuse when I plugged in my phone for a charge. In the last hotel the electrical didn’t work at all. There’s a peace to life in the darkness I never knew before. I’ve made friends with it.”
To be continued…
it was as big as the promise of the coming day…”
I made an offering to the volcano to end my pain. I asked God to turn the flowers I tossed into the cauldron of the volcano at Mr. Bromo into happiness.
My roommate Hannah and I sleepwalked into our clothes. Together with our traveling companions, we piled in five jeeps to take the dizzying, nighttime drive to summit Mt. Bromo. I sat in the far back seat of one of the jeeps. Every twist and turn sent mystery metal digging into my hip or thigh. My friends and I had braved many adventures on our tour together. This one was the earliest. After a short hike to the summit we waited, having no idea what beauty we’d witness. What wonders sat in the darkness below.
I saw The Southern Cross for the first time. My friends and I sung the Crosby, Stills and Nash song of the same name. As I sang, I understood why I came to Java— the truth I ‘d been running from was so strong, it was as big as the promise of the coming day.
March 4, 2014
“In the pink and purple smoke of many shrouded volcano peaks, at the summit of Mt. Bromo, the sun rose. Illuminating beauty out of the darkness. It was my sunrise. All mine. A new beginning. An invitation to do the very same thing within my own life. To illuminate the darkness. I am the sunrise. In that moment, I decided I’d always GO BIG. This big trip, this big sunrise called me to trust my big dreams. I’d no longer need to doubt or be frightened by them any longer. I’ll bravely keep on dreaming. Keep on living, to discover myself and my passions in the face of catastrophe.”
February 22, 2014
I had a steamy Sunday to myself to explore Jakarta. One of the sights I wanted to tour was Monas––the Indonesian national monument commemorating their independence built by President Sukarno. I had yet to try speaking Basha Indonesian on my own. Google Translate and I hit the streets of Jakarta.
“It all started with a taxi ride. I’d just arrived in Jakarta after a few days in Bandung with my friends. I was thrilled but terrified heading into the city without a native speaker with me. I wasn’t sure how I would see all I wanted to see. I took a picture of the map of the Kota out of my guidebook and figured I’d use my App to help me communicate where I needed to go and headed out into the world. But the second I stepped into the sunshine of the Jakarta Sunday morning I got this “I-want-to-curl-up-in-ball” feeling. I was about to leave the cozy confines of the Dreamtel Hotel for
the unknown. And this fact unsettled me. To my core. But wasn’t that what this trip was all about? Venturing into a city where I didn’t know the language, in a country where I’d just had the experience of meeting people who hadn’t seen or met a western woman ever before? When I took my seat in Saipoel’s cab I was at peace. We discussed where I wanted to go and rates. I hired him to be my driver for the day. I was a curiosity to him––a western woman traveling alone in Jakarta. We became friends. He had a very easy way about him, a caring way. We asked each other big questions about life in the way that you can when you know you will only know each other for a day. We did our best at speaking each other’s language and found we were so similar in our differences.”
That night I joined a tour with Intrepid Travel. We journeyed east across the island of Java to Bali in about two weeks. This was the easiest, most cost-effective way for me to absorb as much of the culture as I needed to in the period of time that I had to research the settings for my screenplay. The tour began in Jakarta and headed to Bandung. As we traveled on, we learned more about the eruption and it’s effect on our travels and the people of Indonesia.
February 24-26, 2014
In Pandagaran, after a tour of the Green Canyon, the local Wayang puppet maker demonstrated his craft and tells tales of the Hindu saga of The Ramayana, about Rama and Sinta, their Romeo and Juliet.
The next day our guide, Sukio invited us to his home for a delicious lunch prepared by his wife. When we arrived, a championship volleyball game was being played right outside his front door.
“On a hike through the jungle at twilight, we saw spiders and scorpions and crawled into a creepy, old Japanese bunker where we hung out with bats and kimono dragons then we watched the famous flying foxes at sunset. As night fell, fishing boat lights twinkled over the Java Sea. Bamboo fishing platforms alit at night looked otherworldly.”
At nightfall it was hard to imagine the devastation that occurred when the tsumani hit, completely destroying Pandangaran. Sukio told us the tale of how he had been on a tour on the river in the Green Canyon when it hit in 2006, and his frantic search to find out if his wife and children were alive. It was equally hard to imagine The Battle of The Java Sea nearly seventy years ago when The Repulse and The Prince of Wales would be sunk by the Japanese, who would go on to occupy a sixth of the world’s surface in the six months after Pearl Harbor. Java fell in March of 1942. Dad would be taken prisoner that September.
“Eruptions, tsunamis, war. Broken hearts.”
“It’s evening prayer now. The call to worship epic and as I drink a Guiness. Prayerful echoes fill the night. I‘ve been warned by Saipoel and my friends in Bandung to be careful in this part of Java. While I paid attention to the warnings, especially coming from different Indonesians who nothing of each other, it somehow didn’t impact me until now. I remember earlier today when Sukio showed us a guard tower and explained how the men take turns watching over the village each night.”
To be continued…
]]>
Tangumen Prahue Volcano, Bandung, Indonesia
Scene from my research mountain hike in the jungle outside of Bandung, Indonesia
What? A real key? The charm of Rothwell Guest House made me feel at home, nearly half-way around the world.
Feb. 19, 2014 – Arrive Sydney, Australia – Rothwell Guest House, Glebe
Glebe is a great part of Sydney. My room at the guest house was $80/night, unheard of affordability in Sydney, and just a short walk up Ferry Rd. to an amazing bakery and lots of restaurants. The bus stop to the harbor (the 431 & 433 bus lines) was right in front of the bakery. I purchased my $15, 10-ride bus ticket at the news store across from the Glebe library and hopped on the bus. The Writer’s Walk leads up to the Opera House. One of my favorite plaques on the walk reads:
“Australian history is almost always picturesque, indeed it is so curious and strange that it is itself the chiefest novelty the country has to offer. It does not read like history, but like the most beautiful lies. And all of a fresh sort, not moldy old stale ones. It’s full of surprises, and adventures and incongruities, and incredibilities, but they are all true, they all happened.” – Mark Twain
While I saw a late-night show at the Opera House, The QE2 anchored in Sydney Harbor. Along with hundreds of people lining the harbor, I waved to those on board as they sailed out to sea. When the ship sounded it’s horn, we all hollered. In the midst of the spontaneous celebration with my new-found friends, I realized I’d just left my safe harbor and set sail in the world too.
QE2 sets sail
Feb 20th, 2014 – Sydney
A comedy of errors leads me to missing my tour two times today. But without missing it so many times, I might not have met Gabriella and Vidal. They are each other’s Ex’s and found they can’t be married but love each other very
much, so they travel together. They’d just traveled to Uganda because Gabriella loves gorillas and wanted to see themup close. This involved trekking for five hours with armed guards.
Gabriella and Vidal found their brave new world. I begin to look forward to mine.
Feb 21, 2014 – Flight to Jakarta, Indonesia somewhere over Australia’s Northern Territory
My devotional reads:
“Do not cast away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance…” (Hebrews 10:35)
My heart tells me that I’m on a pilgrimage. I never really thought of this trip in that way. My heart is telling me that I’ll find healing here. My job is to be myself. It’s something I can’t screw up. There’s only one me and there’s precious little time left. Living life authentically is all I’m interested in. I am brave. I am strong. I am not my circumstances. My soul could not be fooled. The wisdom of my soul is learning to trust the mystery of the unknown.
Jakarta, Indonesia
The sweet family of a friend of mine picked me up at the airport in Jakarta. Baba is the head of the family, a man just north of 70 and the only Christian in his village. I learn he was one of 19 children and his mother had 132 grandchildren. The family sings most of the road trip from Jakarta to Bandung––Indonesian songs, mostly. When they spontaneously broke out in Tell Laura I Love Her it nearly brought me to tears. In this instant I enjoy being between worlds and know this trip would have never happened without one world ending.
This is the first time on this trip that I’ve been with people who don’t speak English. I would have been completely unable to communicate with them without the Google Translate App. Through the App I’d find out that a witch practicing black magic tried to cast a spell on me at the airport. Baba cautioned me to be very careful of who I come in physical contact with, or I might find myself withdrawing all my money at an ATM and handing it over to the witch. Baba further warned me, “Witches always dress beautifully and have pretty faces.
I was a great curiosity to those I met, especially people in Indonesia. A woman traveling the world alone. I found the biggest myth for a woman traveling alone is that she’s alone. From the time I got on the plane at LAX I was never alone. As I traveled the world, my family got bigger.
to be continued…
]]>When I chose to take big leaps in my life, people all around me, well-meaning friends and family, even acquaintances all had advise and opinions about my plans. Supportive, to be sure. At the very least curious and at times afraid for me.
I saw this quote at the LAX airport before I took off
I’ll never forget what my cousin said in Florida while we celebrated my dad’s 90th birthday, just days before I’d take off for Australia (I received so many farewells there). David and I had a great discussion of unique jobs that sound intriguing and passionate, laughing as we ranked careers on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being most intriguing. After giving accountant a 1 (I have a B.S. in Accountancy—that’s another story, another life), and circus contortionist a 10, David turned to me and said, “Cousin, you’re strong. Your attitude toward your new life is going to make all the difference. You know, some are glass half-empty people, and some are glass half-full people. But some people aren’t limited by the glass. That’s how I see you.” He gave me a hug and in that instant I began the search for my life. The quest would be a terrifying, amazing experience. Ready? Set? Fly.
(actual journal entries are in italics)
Feb. 13, 2014 – Quantas flight from LAX to Melbourne
“Mom,” my youngest daughter said, “if you fly out of LA on February 13 you’ll arrive in Melbourne on February 15 and never even have to live the 14th.” Great idea. Done. On my flight from LA to Melbourne, somewhere over the Pacific, what would have been my twenty-eighth anniversary disappeared. Just like my life had.
At the beginning of the trip I figured I’d disappear too. Somewhere in the world. It was an idea that gave me great comfort. What disappearing would look like, what the actual act would be, I had no clue. I needed to end the pain. A pain I nicknamed the black hole. A pain that had consumed me for nearly two years when I boarded the Quantas flight.
Feb. 15, 2014 Somewhere over the Tasmanian Sea
I fill out my customs form and state author as my occupation, traveling primarily for business. This feels good. I flip through the in-flight magazine. Features include Isabelle Rosselini’s stage performance of her award winning short film series, Green Porno, explaining the sex life of insects. Costumed as insects and sea creatures, she acts out their reproductive habits. In this moment I realize anything is possible. Including and especially my dream, my very big dream of writing and selling the screenplay based on my dad’s experience as a Japanese prisoner of war during WWII. It took me years to realize that big dreams are my birthright. Heck, compared to the bizarre and weird glory of insects’ sex lives, my dream seemed tame.
I love dreams. Everybody’s crazy, hell-bent-for-glory dreams. It is my life-long dream to fly to Australia and Indonesia, in fact. Splurging on a research trip in order to write the story I’ve been trying to write for nearly a decade seemed crazy all these years. I make a mental note to never define myself as crazy ever, ever again.
Feb. 15, 2014 – Arrive Melbourne, Australia
Dee and I at her place in Wood End
At the caravan park for rehearsal, the man on the right would dress up as a woman for his comedy bit, hilarious
Feb. 16, 2014, Wood End, Victoria
Went to a music festival yesterday at an old caravan (rv) park. Dee’s son Nick played “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana. I love Dee and her family, they are so gracious. Being surrounded by teenagers reminds me of all the fun I had when when my girls were their age. Things I love about OZ: everyone is so nice and funny, good wine, I have a torch (not a flashlight, this makes me smile a lot more than I normally would), look RIGHT then LEFT…LOL! Turning right in traffic is a lot more life-affirming in OZ for an American than back home. Ozzie’s say “heap” when they mean “lots” and it makes me laugh a heap. I love all the cockatoos and magpies flying everywhere! Their calls are beautiful and Oz is lyrical in a way the U.S. isn’t. Off for a writing retreat today.
Feb. 18, 2014 Dee’s country house, Monegeta, OZ
While at Dee’s country house we took a champagne stroll, talked about writing and my career plans when I spot this beautiful kangaroo jumping in the bush––the very first kangaroo I’d seen in the wild. (It was ridiculously exciting for me to spot the kangaroo, as you can tell by my inability to get a really great shot.)
to be continued…..
]]>I thought about giving you a preview of where we’re heading. But, heck, I had no idea so why don’t we find out together. All I knew at this point in the trip was that I’d spent nearly every dime on my life-long dream to travel to Australia and Indonesia for five weeks to do research for a screenplay I was writing at the time (and am currently editing). The trip took me to the island of Java where my dad grew up and would inform the setting of the screenplay, a true World War II story based on my dad’s experience as a Japanese prisoner.
Are you ready? We’re going to have to pack. Everyone advised me to travel light. Prior to this trip, I’d pack the kitchen sink to go anywhere. I felt like Lucille Ball when I packed (read: stuffed) my backpack for the trip. My youngest daughter called as zero hour approached, asking if all my provisions fit. I confessed I’d have to take two backpacks instead of the one I’d planned.
I looked like a very pregnant adventurer, a small pack in front and a big pack on my back. What’s hilarious is I only have this one picture of me wearing them which was taken after an unexpected adventure. Had I known about these must-haves, my packs would have been much lighter and I would have saved priceless, precious travel time!
- Moon Cup ($23). While on our global odyssey, let’s not go broke because of Auntie Flo. Just try and purchase a tampon in Indonesia. One time I actually had to draw a picture of a tampon in my quest to find a store that sold them in Yogyakarta on the island of Java. A box of 20 tampons there set me back 380,000 rupiah, about $30. Ugh. Asia can be an inexpensive travel destination for western women, but western female supplies are not. Kiss your tampon-drawing days good-bye and spend your time and money on other adventures, not on tampon quests. Thank your stars you won’t need to lug a whole backpack full of feminine supplies too. Want a laugh? Check out this tampon vs. moon cup video at https://www.mooncup.co.uk.
- Travelo Refillable Perfume Spray Bottle ($10). Leave the bottle at home and pump your favorite scent into this awesome, refillable bottle. It’s light, won’t explode all over your clothes, and will make you feel like a human after trekking.
- Dreamwater ($2.50). Their motto? Work hard. Play hard. Sleep easy. I was pretty concerned about how I’d pass the time on the 14-hour flight to Melbourne. When I saw Dream Water on display at a store just outside my Quantas gate at LAX, I snapped it up. It’s basically a melatonin shot. And let’s face it, chugging a shot to go to sleep is much more fun than swallowing a pill. I slept ten hours. https://drinkdreamwater.com
- Translate It! (free). So, those Rosetta Stone CDs didn’t quite work out, huh? Or they did, but you didn’t expect you’d have to speak French in Indonesia? No problem. Just download the free Translate It! App and you’ll be speaking to anyone and everyone on the planet. Funniest thing I had to translate? Telling a tattoo artist that the font he wanted to use was too bold (once a graphic designer, always a graphic designer).
- Ultimate Flora Probiotic ($20). I traveled around the world and didn’t get sick once. I believe my probiotic had something to do with it because I am an adventurous traveler/eater. When I got my shots for my trip, the gal behind the counter of WellnessMart recommended that I pack probiotics. Be sure to purchase ones that need no refrigeration.https://www.renewlife.com
How many backpacks are you taking? Ready to go? Rest up! Our first stop is OZ.
]]>