My Journal Extension

Marathon. This could be the time i supposed to fulfill my long time goal i set for this year. As early as May i sign up for Athens Marathon. it was a not a quick decision. i ponder it for a week. i was thinking of something i need to do like a dedication for myself for turning a decade this year. I remember that after i sign in it fills my mind the whole time. I cant keep myself from imagining things it made me smile. The finish line in an ancient stadium, the course leading to it they said is festive, the place itself is historical, and of course the people i shared the journey with. It was Marla who keep on pushing me to register. She told me she needed someone to motivate her & the only thing was for me to register first. It took a week before i told them i made it. I keep mum for that long to bask in my decision & to keep the excitement to myself. Nicah, on the other hand, choose ADNOC marathon which fall on December. Its a year of marathon indeed. The fact that i will run 42.2km sooner in the near future made me feel ambitious and humbled at the same time. But that takes a long winding road of trainings! its a another story 😅

Saturday Long Run May 25 2019

Dubai Canal Long Run – July 20 2019

Training. I started training every Saturday evening long runs. The first time i joined it i cant keep up with the group. The heat, humidity & smoke makes it even more unbearable but i keep in mind what im training for – a long hilly course run! A race in winter but trainings in summer is not a good idea. But thats how it is. Endurance sport is not easy. AT ALL. Its not a hit or miss but rather a series of sacred days i need to skip in order to build up my system. It made me choose priorities also. First, the marathon. Second, the driving. I lay all of my strength & time for this greater heights. Confident that everything will fall to its place. Come July when the sun sets on high, i train along with my running buddies in Dubai water canal especially recommended by our “manager” Maricar. She trained also for her 2nd 70.3 Ironman. The climate that month was infuriatingly scorching with heatwaves one can barely managed. I always faced the “wall” and hydration was a major problem. Few months to training i still cant believe i can do the event. Shifted to morning long runs & had to wake up as early as 3AM. Friday nights were always a sleepover at Marlas home. Feels like we’re already part of Estabillo Family. I missed it especially Pochoy 🐶. Every weekend its a different program from long slow run to steady run to jebel jais hilly. Distances ranging from 21km minimum to even 36km. Its a hardwork one can thought of quitting. There are times when our laziness kicks in but of course we’re not giving in. Until running is already part of the system. Every sunday was a fresh new start of the week. Checking the program listed and updating each other’s condition. “Hows the glutes, quads, hamstring, calves” was the usual Hi’s or Hello’s. Sooner this will end. Sooner this will paid off. Sooner will be the graduation. The race. That i thought of. Not yet.

The Peak Training 36KM – Oct 12 2019

Jebel Jais Hilly Run – Oct 19 2019

The event. i can almost say i am fully ready physically & mentally. The body was trained what the mind conceived. Month before the race the excitement was building up. One can actually celebrate the journey through taper weeks. its like a reward for a well done crucial stage in every marathoners – slowing down of trainings. Since the race will took part in another country, the technicals was also a crucial & essential part. Visas! Its a gateway to every athletes’ dream and a nightmare to the hopefuls. Sadly, i was part of the fallen. Almost a week before the race my visa got denied. I was still in denial & shocked when i received back my papers. Everything fell apart. I highly thought that most people have expectations of me. Those days of waking up early for long runs in about 4 solid months, of not taking driving lessons during weekends, times when i turn down invites for social gatherings or even prayer meetings came flashing on my mind. It felt like i did not spend my time well. It felt that everything i plan came to waste. The humiliation i might get from people is scary & heartbreaking. I cried. Dreams shattered.

This might be difficult for succeeding days but i know i am resilient and i could just look back & laugh all of these someday. It just felt like i need to spend my time very very wisely without compromising anything. i know im not the jack of all trades but i will somehow need to apply it. Doing something half full half empty is not my cup of tea but what i learn from this experience is that not to invest my all in one basket. Not to credit myself of anything unless it happened already – jinx avoidance. No to competition since i have my own pace – in running & in life stage. Not to pressure myself but just seize the moment. No turn downs of invites 😅 No regrets its a journey i could tell to my kids. YOLO. Despite of all of this i still believe that God loved me. It is always about Him. Afterall.

Why its so hard to find someone who can understand you totally?