When I was twelve or thirteen years old, my grandmother gave me the watch that had belonged to my grandfather. It was a pocket watch, and I was so proud of it. He had died when Mom was sixteen, so it meant a lot to her to see it passed down to me. The only problem was that I really didn’t have a way to wear it at the time. As a result, it stayed on display on the top of my dresser for long periods at a time.

That watch had spent years packed away with Grandpa Adams’ things, and now it was more or less packed away with mine. Whenever I did use it (usually on Sundays, when I was wearing a suit with a vest), I would have to reset the time, wind it up, and then give it a gentle slap against the palm of my hand. Only then would the watch’s second hand begin to move.

I went through multiple watches between then and now. The others all required batteries, and varied in terms of style and quality. Eventually, though, they all met the same fate. Despite being “water resistant,” I would forget that I was wearing it, and end up with a waterlogged timepiece as a result. The problem was only made worse after the battery had been replaced, because whatever resistance to water the watches might have once had was immediately compromised once the factory seal on the back of the watch had been broken.

Then, several years ago, having ruined yet another watch, I decided to go in a different direction. Rather than a quartz movement that ran on a tiny battery, I opted for an automatic watch. It is similar to that old pocket watch, but instead of having to wind it manually, there is a tiny spring inside that winds automatically anytime I move. I’ve worn that watch daily ever since. It’s been dunked in our pool for hours at a time. It’s also been snorkeling in salt water, and submerged into tanks filled with the coolant or oils my company produces. Because the seal has never been broken, that watch continues to tell time and has never leaked even the tiniest bit.

All that it needs is my constant movement. All automatic watches have power reserves that come as a result of kinetic energy having been transferred to the spring inside. Over hours of not being warn, that power reserve will wear out, and the watch will stop. So, wearing it during my waking hours is the best way I’ve found to keep it functioning as it’s supposed to.

Grandpa’s pocket watch became a college graduation gift for my grown son. I like to think that with a little winding, and a gentle slap in the palm of the hand, that watch can still tell time.

All those old quartz watches eventually found their ways into the trash bin. There isn’t much use for a watch that is filled with water, and has corroded as a result.

My current watch, despite its many dings and scratches from being worn in so many different environments, still tells time as well as on the first day I wore it. It’s a testament both to the watch’s quality and to the fact that I wear it each day.

Thinking of the reasons my watch keeps running so well doesn’t often lead me to compare it to the principle of perseverance. However, as I sat here this morning contemplating how perseverance has worked in my life, I realized I’d forgotten to put my watch on when I got out of bed this morning. I made a mental note to be sure and retrieve it from my nightstand when I go down stairs so its power reserve doesn’t run low. That simple thought made me realize that there is a parallel between watches and the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Grandpa’s pocket watch is like practicing abstinence without the aid of the Twelve Steps. It is a constant chore to keep winding, ever wondering if it will still be telling time the next time I looked at it. Would it still be ticking, or will it have relapsed, and require winding all over again, along with a good slap perhaps?

My series of quartz watches is likened to my early days in recovery when I convinced myself that, because I’m such a special snowflake, I would be able to work only a single round of steps and never have to do any more. What I found was that eventually the battery that had been charged by the work in invested in those early days had run dry. I tried quick fixes to avoid “having” to work any more steps, but like water finding its way into those watches, character defects always seemed to find a way back into my daily life. Thus, the symptoms of my disease only got worse as time went on without any step work.

The automatic watch I wear today is much more representative of my recovery. It receives daily attention. In fact, just as I am in the habit of putting my watch on before I get out of bed in the morning, I’m in the habit of prayer, meditation, and step work at the beginning of every day. Just as I’ve come to expect that my watch is working any time I check it for the time, I’ve discovered that my recovery is hard at work too; even at times when it is the furthest thing from my mind. Sure, my recovery has a power reserve; but I am unwilling to leave my recovery on the nightstand and hope for the best.

I will continue putting energy into my recovery, knowing that as I persevere in doing so, my life will keep on ticking.

Have a remarkable day!

This is Shaun’s fourth snow day in a row. Nobody questioned the decision when school was cancelled on Monday. We’d received something just shy of nine inches of snow, which is enough to bring Tulsa to a standstill. For Tuesday, it was much the same. While main roads were perfectly clear, side streets were still caked with snow and ice. Many folks had yet to venture out, and parents were happy to have their children safe at home again.

Late Tuesday, when school was cancelled for the following day, the notification came with an explanation. By now, people were questioning the decision, because many neighborhood streets were now clear. The sun had melted all the snow off the streets.

Last night, when the announcement was released, the explanation was given in even greater detail. Shaun had been over at a friend’s house, and commented on what a great job the city had done of clearing his street of snow. I explained to him that it wasn’t the city, but the sun that did all the work. His friend’s neighborhood is devoid of mature trees, so there was no shade being cast on the pavement there.

As we entered our neighborhood, I told Shaun that we were the problem. Like several other neighborhoods in the school district, ours has been around since the 1970’s. That amount of time has allowed for trees to mature, providing a cover of shade, even without any leaves. That shade has been enough to prevent much melting on our streets. In fact, by now I am pretty sure I could strap on a pair of ice skates, and treat the street in front of our home like an ice rink.

Meditating this morning on the principle of perseverance, I thought about the street in front of our home, and realized what perseverance is not. Perseverance is not simply surviving. It is not achieved through resting in the shade, and counting on the trees around me to keep me from melting. Nor is perseverance merely hanging onto my clean date, and claiming that being clean is enough.

Well, at least that is not how I want perseverance to be defined in my life.

When my life ends (hopefully, still many years from now), I don’t want people to say, “The Twelve Steps God introduced into Kent’s life really helped him stay clean.” That would be such a disappointing eulogy. All that work, through all those years, just to be able to do something that most people accomplish without lifting a finger. Instead, I would much prefer my eulogy to include something along the lines of, “God sure did use the Twelve Steps to transform Kent’s life. He was such a changed man.”

For anyone reading this who is familiar with recovery literature, there may be objections, because it claims several times that staying clean is enough. While I do not doubt their good intentions, I cannot buy into their reasoning. It doesn’t take much to look around the rooms of recovery and spot people who are still whining… um, I mean sharing, about acting out on their character defects today in the same way they were when I first got here almost ten years ago. To me, that sounds a lot like snow that is just hanging out on the street, surviving by shade they had nothing to do with creating.

Instead, I want my life to be marked by the changes people see in me. Changes that have not just happened, but that have come about because of intentional changes I’ve pursued, and have allowed God to bring into my life as I’ve persevered through the step working process. Perseverance that has required that I take a good hard look in the mirror, and confront the man I am today vs. the man I strive to become. It’s no easy thing to be so honest with myself, but if I want my life to be about more than mere abstinence from drugs, it is an absolute necessity.

I pray that God would use the Twelve Steps to bring ongoing and lasting change into my life. I pray that others would see that change and realize we do more than just stay clean. We recover.

Have a remarkable day!