Just Language

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Every time I try to mimic a British accent, it sounds Australian.

There are a number of reasons why this must be, but I think it might have to do with the way Australian dialect resonates in television and movies.

This happens when I try to do impressions of the “Man vs. Wild” guy on the Discovery Channel. I can’t help but think of the late Steve Irwin when I watch this show, I guess.

And “Crocodile Dundee” was huge here. And even though it was the 80s, it’s still just one of those things that sticks around. Kind of like The Wiggles, particularly Murray.

But it doesn’t explain why I sound Australian when I try to talk like James Bond after watching “Casino Royale.”

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Four Dinners raised an interesting idea in comments and I thought I’d elaborate.

In the same way an actor, or a good one at least, has to be able to convey a dozen different meanings by saying “no” in different tones, a professional northerner (in England) has to be able to convey different meanings when saying “ey up.”

To get it wrong can result in an unplanned trip to see the maxillofacial surgeon.

As Four Dinners pointed out “ey up” can mean: what’s the matter? But it’s really how you say it that gives it this meaning. And not just how you say it, but the facial expression too.

If you were to arrive at the factory gates one morning to unlock and found that someone had smashed the padlock off you might squint a little, shift your eyes slighty to the left, and say “aaay uuup?”

This is kind of like saying “what’s the matter?” but more along the lines of “has some fucker emptied the place?” The idea is basically the same.

“Ey up” can also be used as a greeting. When this is done the voice is slightly higher pitched than usual and the tone a little brighter. A smile will always accompany this.

Subtle nuances, which are practically impossible to describe here, can tell you if this greeting is a general hello or a “how are you?”

And that’s another matter of choice. Four Dinners also point out that people say how are you by simply asking “howdo?”

You’re more likely to greet a stranger with “howdo” than “ey up” when walking the dog. The latter (and you should look at that link) is kind of reserved for those you know. It’s just like the French say “salut” to friends and “bonjour” in a more formal context.

And here’s the sting in the tail.

If “ey up” is said sharply, it means a person has taken offence to something and is often a sign of impending violence from either party. If you’re ina pub at the time, it might be a good idea to watch out for flying pint pots.

Thanks to Four Dinners for the inspiration.

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No matter where you live there’s some lazy dialect.

My favourite dialect word at present is: thidder

You pronounce the ‘th’ part as you would when saying ‘the’.

And what does it mean?

It means: they would have

“Thidder done it if they could have.”

Of course, we all know the best way to say that last example is: “Thidder dunnit if thi’cudder.”

So what’s your favourite dialect word?

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Pecan.

Say that out loud to yourself. How you pronounce the name of that nut says something about you … I think … although I’m not sure what exactly that might be.

Here in the deep South, I hear people say this different ways.

One — and I think I’m right about this — is distinctly deep South: “PEE-can.”

That’s what all my people back home and others I run into with the thickest accents say.

I hear a number of transplants from the North say  “peh-KAHN.”

But there are some with solid Southern accents and solid Southern pedigree who say it that way, too.

I say “PEE-can,” like my Grandma, who shoots and traps squirrels because she’s convinced they’re the reason she has no “PEE-cans” on any of her trees (not something like, say, poor soil nutrition that makes them not even grow).

My step-mother, who’s from the Pacific Northwest, says “peh-KAHN.” All my life, I thought that was just the way Northern intruders said things.

Until my cousin, who is from the same town I’m from (and is actually more “from it” than I am) told me recently that she says “peh-KAHN.”

It totally shattered my theory. My wife, a Southerner, says “peh-KAHN.”

It makes me wonder: Am I just some backwards dipstick who refuses to call something by its proper pronunication?

Well, I do call it Butter “peh-KAHN” Ice Cream.

I say we just meet in the middle and start calling them “PEH-kins.”

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Here’s a wonderful tool.

The dialectizer.

https://rinkworks.com/dialect

It translates any English text into comical dialects like Redneck, Jive, Cockney, Elmer Fudd, Swedish Chef, Moron, Pig Latin and Hacker.

By all means not a perfect instrument, but entertaining nonetheless.

An example, from my favorite quote from the Japanese poet Basho:

“Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.”

Translated into Jive:

An ‘esample, fum mah’ favo’ite quote fum de Japanese poet Basho, dig dis:

“Do not seek t’follow in de footsteps uh de wise. Seek whut dey sought. Man!”

Into Redneck:

An example, fum mah favo’ite quote fum th’ Japanese poet Basho:

“Do not seek t’foller in th’ footsteps of th’ wise. Seek whut they sought.”

Cockney (you Brits will have weigh in on the accuracy of this:

An example, right, from me favorite quote from the Japanese poet Basho:

“Do not seek ter follow in the bloody footsteps of the wise. Seek wot they sought.”

And, perhaps most inventive, Hacker:

an exa/\/\pLe, form My favorite quote from teh japAn3saE poet absho:

“do not seek to follow in teh fooytstep z0f the wise ololoolo seek what thhy sougth. OLOLO…. ‘

Have fun with it.
Or,

Avehay unfay ithway ityay.

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