I’ve thought about starting a new blog from scratch over on Tumblr.  I have some fun ideas but I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to following through with any of them.

Anywho.  Thanks for reading!  I’ll leave the archives on the right should you feel inspired to reminisce about our time together.

Much love!

J

I went by Bolt Bus which took just over 2 hours and stayed at the Lowes Philadelphia Hotel in Center City.  By my definition it was a swanky place.  My definition of swanky includes things like bath robes, doormen and no continental breakfast.  It’s two blocks from City Hall.

City Hall is amazing.  The architecture on all 4 sides is so detailed you could spend an hour just walking around it.

Actually, the shape and personality of nearly every building is different.

I did some historic and touristy type stuff while I was there.  “Did” in this sense means “walked by and took pictures without interacting much”.  Not that I don’t care of course, but eh, it was a laid back trip.  So instead of learning things I preferred to assume.  Here we have an old building with a long line of people waiting for a tour which means it’s important and historical.

The Liberty Bell.  The Bell of Liberty.  They were so excited about liberty they rang it so hard it cracked.

Surprisingly, I know more about the Rocky films than I do the Liberty Bell.  I sat on the museum steps for about half an hour watching kids run up shouting “Yo Adrian!!”.  Definitely a highlight of the trip.

Not surprisingly, I found a bridge with pedestrian access.  Here we see The Benjamin Franklin Bridge and my right index finger.  It connects Pennsylvania and New Jersey.  The state of Pennsylvania named the bridge after Ben Franklin because “Bridge to Nowhere” was already taken.  Zing!

Philly is known for their cheesesteaks and so of course I had to partake.  Instead of hitting up one of the big tourist spots with long lines I found a place that was pretty highly rated in Reading Terminal Market.  Free travel tip: This should not be your last stop before boarding a return Bolt Bus back to NYC.

And finally, here we see our intrepid traveler having his picture taken in high wind by an old lady who had probably never touched an iphone before.

J

The card swiper at the Key Foods near my previous apartment used to silently drive me insane.  I’ve never shared this with anyone because these are the kinds of things you hide from loved ones lest they force you into a mental hospital.  I’m sharing it with you now because I don’t love you it finally worked itself out.

The checkout person would ask “Credit or debit?” and I’d say “Debit”.  I’d enter my 4 digit pin number and then hit “Enter”.  That 5 button combination makes an absolutely perfectly toned Shave and a Haircut.  But only. the. first. part.  So I was forced to tap something twice to finish it.  The swiper, the counter, the checkout lady, etc.  Because we all know few things in life are as frustrating as an unfinished Shave and a Haircut.  Total strangers will honk back if you start it in your car.  It’s the audible equivalent of keeping your hand up for a high-five and being left hanging.  It’s like having one shoe tighter than the other, but its your ears and not your shoes.  You get the idea.

This has gone on for the last 5 years.  Five, y’all.  Five years of slow bubbling rage.  But now that I moved I go to another Key Foods.  And this card swiper has two additional prompts asking “Is this amount correct?” and “Cash back?”.  I answer Yes and No and these two tones perfectly complete the Shave and a Haircut and all is finally right with the world.

And everyone in line looks at me funny because of the enormous smile on my face and then wonders why I’m so happy about buying frozen pizza.

– J

I successfully moved all my crap from one place to another with the help of some amazing humans.  Being a basement dwelling there were some logistical obstacles to negotiate.  For instance I only just got my satellite installed last weekend.  Here’s part of the phone call setting up my Direct TV:

Nice Lady – “So how soon do you need your satellite installed?  I’ll find out what dates we have available for you.” 
J – “Okay let me think.  Um, do you know when season 3 of Justified starts?”
Nice Lady – “Haha!  Yeah I think it’s the 17th.”
J – “Great, put me down for the Saturday before then.”

Internet is being set up Tuesday so pics and other apartmenty stories will come shortly after.  Seriously, I’ve been living like a caveman for almost a month.  I’m getting Verizon internet so we’ll see if it lives up to the hype.  I have greatly enjoyed all the e-mails I’ve been receiving from Verizon regarding my installation appointment.  All the e-mails.  About my internet being… installed.  We all have smart phones so it’s not really as funny as it should be, but I still find the concept amusing.  Reminds me of the time a few years ago when I called someone about my cell phone not turning on and they asked me if it was the one I was using to make the call.

Anyway, still here just crazy busy.  Happy Friday everyone.

J

Wednesday morning when making my daily cup of caffeinated wonderment, I smugly reached for my sugar packet watching the poor soul next to me add sugar to coffee that already had milk in it.  *Sigh* Some people.

Anyway, it’s time to do the flicky-flicky-flicky thing to get all the sugar in the bottom of the packet.  My favorite part.  But wouldn’t you know it there was a hole in the bottom of the packet, effectively spreading Sugar in the Raw clear to Jersey.  Seriously y’all, I think I may have found a revolutionary way to seed huge fields.

Okay, not the best way to start the workday but surely an isolated incident.  Cut to Thursday.  I’ve already forgotten yesterdays mishap and now it’s time for another cup of Jason’s Motor Skills.  Flicky-flicky-flicky AW FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD, NOT AGAIN?!?

This morning, just moments ago…  I have never so cautiously selected a packet of sugar in my life.  And I’m happy to report zero sugar spray.

Yep.  It’s going to be a good day.

Happy Friday!

J

“I am woman, hear me roar!”

Today’s phrase comes from the opening lines of the 1970 song “I am Woman”, written by Helen Reddy which quickly became an anthem for the women’s liberation movement happening around the same time.

I, being the smartass creative person that I am, insist on taking such a phrase and branching it out a bit. Surely women aren’t the only people out there who need a voice. So here are a few more unappreciated groups that I feel could potentially make use of a good battle cry.

• I am Historian, hear me lore
• I am Math Teacher, hear me bore
• I am Sad, cheer me more!
• I am Bull, hear me gore
• I am Beggar, hear me poor
• I am Indian Tracker, me hear floor
• I am Rower, hear me oar
• I am Golfer, hear me, “Fore!!”
• I am Sheep, shear me more.
• I am Sleeping, hear me snore
• I am Prostitute, hear me whore
• I am Grounded, hear me chore
• I am Supersonic Pilot, hear me soar

This is the kind of humor that can also result from having too much Pratchett in your diet. Oh well, hopefully good for a laugh or two. Of course sharing your own empowering battle cries is encouraged. I gave up trying to find one for Texan, Blogger, New Yorker and various Star Wars characters.

– J

– Boromir, LOTR

That quote popped in my head a few nights ago as I got out of bed around 2:00am to do battle with a mosquito.  The next day I had a bit of trouble explaining to Roomie why he heard me yell “FOR GONDORRRRRR!!!!” and then a loud thudding sound.

– J

I finished reading The Hobbit not too long ago and it got me in the mood to start Lord of the Rings again.  I read it a while back and it took me the better part of 6 months to finally rid Frodo of that stupid ring.  Now just a few years later I start over and find he went and got it back.  That’s one thing about re-reading books and re-watching movies.  No matter how many times they go through the story it’s like the main characters never learn anything.

Like, oh I don’t know, maybe Gandalf could just call an Eagle for Frodo and have him drop the ring in Mt. Doom during a fly by.  If I were him I’d have been pretty pissed to find out at the end of my adventure that the old coot could have called up Middle Earth Airlines any ol’ time. 

And don’t give me that, “It’s about the journey, not the destination” crap.  It’s about me skipping the part where I fight a spider the size of a mobile home.  That’s what it’s about.

But I digress*.  I’ll not go trying to poke holes in undisputed masterpieces.  Among others, a thought I’m zigzagging and meandering toward is that these books alone justify the purchase of an e-reader.  I almost spit coffee on my iPad when I saw this last weekend.

To be fair that’s because I was holding the iPad sideways.  When you do that it splits the book into a smaller two page view.  When you hold it vertically it orients to one page and adjusts the page numbers accordingly.

Neat trick, Mr. Jobs.  Either way, that would be a lot of paper to carry around.  And in a city where we literally carry everything around, it’s a great space saver.

Really J?  You made us read all that to tell us you like your iPad?

Yes.  Apparently I did.  I didn’t exactly approach this one with much of a game plan.

– J

* From what, I admit I don’t really know.

I decided my apartment needed more color and living organisms.  The one on the left is named Sushi, the one on the right is Finneas.

Also, the more perceptive of you (and more in tune with my psyche) may notice that there is one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

– J