| CARVIEW |
by Z
I am a chrusciki, just in time for Easter. All that's missing is the liberal dusting of powdered sugar. The human goddess says I am as fragrant as a Polish angel wing cookie. If you get really close, you'll notice the subtle top notes of rum and butter. That's amazing. How do I do it?
by Z
Laziness is the rule rather than the exception, except when I go out and tear around in the snow like a mad dog.
You want poem parodies? You want articulate, insightful essays? You do? Show me how much you want one of those little treats from me. Go on. Beg.
by Z
...is the reason for the season.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Blessed Whatever Else you celebrate this time of year.
by Z
Sometimes you have to stay one step ahead of the humans. Mom (otherwise known as the human goddess) brought out that dreaded (not to mention ridiculous) music again. Christmas Unleashed by the Jingle Dogs. Bark bark bark. Woof woof woof. Hoooowwwwl. Even a few meows thrown in to add insult to ear injury. "Waltz of the Snowflakes"? "The Nutcracker March"? "Ding Dong Merrily on High"?
Mom watched my sister and me expectantly. She wanted us to bark, I just knew it. Or maybe do that real cute quizzical head-cocking thing we do when we hear something weird.
We did something way cooler.
Nothing. No reaction. We unequivocally ignored the music. Ignored it? We didn't even hear it. We pretended we were sleeping.
Sometimes you have to ignore bad behavior in humans. Responding only encourages them.
