That line “she’s a fighter” is one of those phrases that people toss off as though it’s totally innocuous, but the implications are understandably hurtful. And also ridiculous. The babies who live aren’t better fighters. They aren’t smarter or cuter or more talented or more determined. They are just really fucking lucky. There’s no sense, no order in those outcomes. It’s random and unfair and arbitrary.

It kind of reminds me of this girl I’m barely acquainted with who was in Paris the weekend before the terrorist attacks and she posted that “God was watching over [her]” because she left Paris before it happened. As though God orchestrated her exit, but left those other people in harm’s way. I thought it was one of the shittiest and most insensitive comments I could imagine, but no one else seemed to blink an eye.

Thanks, Cathy. I’m eating a lot of carrots at the moment but I don’t really *regret* the gelato. Thinking of you.

Thanks!

Thinking of you and hoping it sucks less soon.

Thanks, Amy. The hugs are much appreciated!

I’m sorry that August has been unkind this year. I also keep waiting for it not to hurt so much. But I dread the hurt lessening too. There can never be too much gelato or television in August. My own family has probably had far too much of both this month too.

Sending love to you and remembering your precious Teddy who might have been seven this August xx