Carview!

Thursday, April 02, 2020

Day Number 14 of No Day Care

Yes, I'm still counting. Yes, it's too many.

Today, we took out sidewalk chalk to entertain the child. We learned that my drawing skills are limited to flowers, stick figures, and balloons that look suspiciously like semen.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Day 12 With No Day Care

While attempting to vacuum a small percentage of the roughly 3 gajillion Cheerios on the floor, the child attempted to help by trying to push the vacuum, making it harder to actually get anything done.

I told him that the vacuum was a "Mommy toy."

FML

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Day 10 of No Day Care

I tried to sneak a fun size Milky Way bar while I was behind the child pushing him in the stroller.

It did not work.

Do you know what half a fun size Milky Way bar is? Not fun, my friend. Not fun.

(Don't even get me started on the whole idea of fun size in general.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Day 8 With No Day Care

I insisted that the child's second bowl of cereal for dinner be Cheerios instead of Sour Patch Kids cereal. I'm counting that as a parenting win.

Friday, March 20, 2020

Day 4 Without Day Care

I'm pretty sure I spend 90% of my time convincing the child not to play with things that aren't toys and to play with his toys.

Also, he took a bite of a pine cone so there's that.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

On Our Third Day Without Daycare

I'm pretty sure the child, who is all of 20 months old, rolled his eyes at me. Are they even supposed to be able to do that yet?
The child started crying when I tried to sing him a song.
I put him in his cozy coupe in front of the TV so I could take a conference call and he wouldn't touch the TV. I told him he was at a drive-in movie.
He pooped in the tub.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

On Our Second Day Without Day Care

I discovered that it's difficult to maintain my unhealthy snacking while convincing the child to eat healthy food.
The child had a meltdown because he couldn't close a door ... because his foot was in the way.

Delusions of Grandeur