Had final BPP on Monday at 11am. Everything looked great. My parents came into town that afternoon. Matt and I went up to the hospital for check in on Monday 8/31 at 6:30pm. They immediately started the cervadil and I had 2 hours bedrest and then they let me get up, shower, walk around, and have a big final meal that evening around 9:30pm.
I slept like a BABY Monday night. I knew the baby was being monitored and I just slept like a rock.
I started contracting on my own that Monday evening. However, I couldn't feel it. They kept running in to "check" me and ask if I was feeling the "monster" contractions that were on the monitor. I wasn't. It was so weird, but we decided since I'm on the thin side that they just picked them up better or something. For a second I thought I might be one of those weird people you hear about who can't feel contractions. HAHAHA! No, that wasn't the case.
9:30am on Tuesday they started the pit drip. Monster ctx that I couldn't feel continued. Finally started feeling them a few hours later. They finally go to the max pit dose. OB told me I could have the epidural any time and that it was up to me. They broke my water at noon. I was not dilated much...like a 2. Contractions REALLY picked up then. I wanted to wait on the epidural until I was a least a 3 (even though Dr said I could have it any time). I was worried about stalling the labor out if I got it too early and then with my water broken having a really long labor and that putting more stress on baby with risk of cord compression, etc that can happen with no amniotic fluid. I was still so worried about her not making it here and something happening at the very end.
I handled everything very well emotionally up to the point of the epi. I never felt contractions with Jack, just MASSIVE back labor that the epidural didn't touch. I never had the labor contractions and the breathing through them, etc. Everything was different...that is, until I got the epidural.
About 4pm I couldn't handle it anymore and got the epidural. I was not quite 3cm, but close.
The resident was not very sympathetic to my concerns, so I found myself not mentioning them to her so she wouldn't roll her eyes at me. When I would say, "Well, I just worry because of my history" she acted so rude and didn't seem to care one bit. But I did mention my concerns to the nurses throughout. They were all so nice. They each hand picked the best nurse for me when they did shift changes. They took great care of me emotionally too.
After the epidural was in, I became an emotional MESS. I literally was bawling for hours. I wasn't having a flashback and so it was weird to bawl that hard when I wasn't reliving anything from Jack. The nurse and I decided that up until the epi, everything was a new experience (contractions, labor, etc), but as soon as I got that and all the people in the room and all the commotion that brought, it felt eerily similar to the last time and I lost it and that's when I started getting really really scared.
By 8pm, the resident said she was going to stop checking me every hour b/c I was making such slow progress and that she'd be coming in every 2 hours.
At this time I could not longer take my eyes off the monitor. The nurses assured me that they were watching it constantly and that even if they had to go to the bathroom, they got someone to cover to watch it. I was crying. Then mom was in with me while Matt got something to eat and it dropped and stayed dropped. I immediately pushed the call button and then a group of 5 following the mean resident all came in and frantically turned me on my side and her heartbeat went right back up. They said, "SEE, we are watching too! We are going to make sure nothing happens."
A bit later it happened again when Matt was back with me. At this point I was hysterical. I knew she had been without fluid for so long and at any moment she could pinch the cord or it could prolapse and we could lose her. My nextdoor neighbor's daughter had a full term stillbirth during birth for goodness' sake....it happens. I knew at that point it would be a very long night since I was still stuck and not dilating. I was glad I slept so well the night before because I knew I would not be able to sleep a wink from that point on.
At 10pm my OB came in (he had been in periodically maybe 3 times before). He said, "I'm spending the night here tonight and we are going to see if we can have a baby by midnight." He checked me and I was still 4cm. I have scar tissue for some reason on the cervix and so he manually had to stretch that tissue and help me dilate. He said he'd be in every 30 minutes to "check" me but I think he meant to "dilate" me.
He quickly got me to a 10 and then it was time to push. I was so scared. In between every pushing session I had my head turned back behind me and my eyes on her heartbeat. It never dropped during pushing! I couldn't believe it. I just knew it would drop as soon as she got too far into the birth canal or halfway out and then she'd die before I could push her out once it got too late for an emergency C-section.
I pushed for what felt like an eternity. Turns out in hindsight the nurse said it was 16 minutes and only 7 contractions.
When she came out, I expected to fall apart with relief. To be honest, that's not what I felt at all. It took me by surprise. I was still preparing to possibly lose her right up until the very end, and when they put her in my arms, honestly...I was completely frozen in shock. I didn't cry. I didn't smile. I just looked at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe it. Then I felt bad, like...why am I not crying with joy?
They took her to the side and cleaned her up. The nurse kept telling me everything they were doing was normal. Then she said, "they ARE calling in the NICU team, but it's not an emergency...she's just grunting a lot and they want to make sure her lungs are clear. It's very common for amniotic fluid to get in there and for them to not be able to clear it completely, so if they take her, it's just to monitor and make sure she gets it all clear." They didn't rush her off, they let me hold her again. So I knew it wasn't an emergency. But I wanted to scream to them that if she NEEDS the NICU, PLEASE TAKE HER! I was so worried the problem would get worse if they didn't hurry.
Matt went with her to the NICU.
I then vomited probably 10 times into a bucket. That made me feel pretty.
After 2 hours of pit and recovery, they took us by the NICU on the way to the after birth suites. They wouldn't let me hold her, but she was in an open bed (not one of the closed off ones) so we got to touch her and talk to her. Then we went to the after birth suite. It was like a hotel room with room service and a queen size bed and like hotel furniture. So that was nice. I tried to pump with the hospital pump when we got there. At 4am we went to bed.
Woke up and called the NICU first thing in the morning. They said she was doing great and the xray of her lungs...both lungs were completely clear and normal. Her O2 levels had been perfect all night. They said they would be sending her our way first thing. Of course, paperwork slowed them down and we didn't get her back until 11am.
The NICU nurse told me not to push breastfeeding. She said she really needed the calories of formula because of her slow start and that breastfeeding can be exhausting after her "rough start." The lactation consultant happened to be in the room at the same time. Both were RN's. They had a little altercation. It was kinda amusing to see them throw statistics and studies back and forth at each other in front of us.
Had some trouble with the latch and used the SNS and expressed breastmilk when it got really bad and frustrating. The hospital has a big lactation clinic that's free when you deliver there so I've been going there some and now she is nursing great.
She is perfect as perfect can be! And she gets cuter by the minute! The reason we waited so long to name her is because at first she looked like a boy to me! All our names seemed so feminine and she looked just like my dad! So we waited until we got her out of NICU so that could hold her and see her more before deciding.
9/2 at 12:41am, 6lbs 15.6oz, 19 inches long...Eden Louise (she has already been called "Ellie" due to her initials, and "E-Dee" and, we've been calling her "ladybug").
Here are some pictures I took since we've been home...
Right after we got home from the hospital:
Labor Day...Eden was 5 days old:
1 week old:
