On NaNoWriMo forums the topic has come up asking the question, what should a writer do when they have to write a kissing scene yet they have never yet been kissed. The Question continues and asks, should a story with a romance in it include sex scenes?
Here is my answer:
I tend to avoid sex scenes, but I’m pretty good with the kissing scences.
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About Sex Scenes:
Most romance books written before the 1980’s didn’t have sex in them at all, it wasn’t common to put sex in a romance story until just that last 20 years or so and the romance genre has been around over 100 years now.
My story this year, as romance in it, which is why I’m posting on the romance forum, but I listed it as fantasy, because the romance is not the main-plot of the story, but rather a sub-plot within my story. I on’t plan to have any sex in my novel either.
Over the years I have written about a dozen romance stories. One was erotica and had sex in it, but all of the others, never even mentioned sex. The closet I ever came to writing sex into my stories was saying something like: “…and she spent the night at his house.”. I never said which room she slept in. She could have slept on the couch or they could have had sex. I never said they did, but I never said they didn’t either. I left it up to the reader to decide if they had had sex or not. I feel it’s better to leave things like sex to the readers imagination.
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As To Kisses:
I don’t like bogging my readers down with long narratives. It’s a case where I write what I know and let my readers fill in the rest with their imagination. I add in tiny details like instead of saying:
- They kissed.
I’d say:
They kissed under the willow tree.
or
He kissed her passionatly.
or
They kissed under the willow tree. It was her first kiss. It seemed to last forever.
I only added one or two little words. That’s it. But it changed the whole picture in the readers head. Nothing big. Just little things.
Another thing that goes over well with readers is to get inside the character’s head. Show don’t tell.
- They stoped under the willow tree. He pulled her close and kissed her long and hard. She felt the world disapear around her. Nothing else mattered. No one else existed. It was just the two of them alone in the universe. He had kissed her. Her first kiss. She hardly believe it. She wondered now if it had only been a dream.
It’s short. It’s quick. It’s simple. It doesn’t stop the flow of the story. It doesn’t describe the kiss. It doesn’t tell. It describes how she felt as she was being kissed. It shows.
Whatever you do, keep it short, keep it simple, keep it familiar, let the reader interpret the minor details themselves, and you’ll write a book that’s easy to read and seems familar to your readers and your readers well love you for it.
That said; being kissed can be the most amazing feeling in the world, if the guy it “the one” and not “just some guy”. Soft lips, wet tounge, warm skin, the smell of perfumed skin, the tingle down your spine, the light headed feeling, the feeling that you could walk on air. French kissing is better in my opinion. If you haven’t been kissed, than just imagin that you are experianceing the most amazing wonderful feeling possible and go with it, write how you imagin it would be like. Write what you know and bluff the rest. Chances are your readers well never know you’ve never been kissed… they’ll be to busy imagining their first kiss- past or future.
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Copper Cockeral
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What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!
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