Dreams of a baby

I am thrilled to say that the adoption is FINAL!!!!  We always knew she was our daughter but now the government agrees.  We had a "FOREVER" party to celebrate.  It was a wonderful evening.

 We get so many people (mostly strangers) telling us how much she looks like us.  "There is no mistaking she is your daughter, you look exactly alike".....isn't that funny!!  The crazy thing is neither of her birth parents have blonde hair or blue eyes, but she does.  My husband and I both have blue eyes, and I had blond hair till recently even though I still claim to!  The birth parents always joke with us that she looks more like us than she does them.  I guess she was meant to be ours...lol!!!

Here are some other pictures from the last 4 months.  It was hard to only choose a few, since I have a million......the photographer in me can't help it.  She is just so stinkin' cute!















We fall in love with her more each day.  She is the most amazing little person.

I don't plan on writing anymore.  I want to keep the blog up for a while in the hopes that it helps someone else going through infertility.  There is a happy ending in your future!!!

I will continue to follow those of you with blogs.  Thanks to everyone that followed my journey and left comments.  I appreciate it more than I can say.

If you want to get in touch with me you can still email me at dreamsofababy@hotmail.com

It was 10:30pm on a Monday when we FINALLY got home and this is what we saw when we got off the plane.

It was like the paparazzi!

One of my favorite pictures

I haven't shown you the nursery yet!  I knew I wanted somewhat gender neutral...just in case Ken.dra was a boy.  The walls are light gray and the accents are light blue and yellow.  I found the fabric online and had my Aunt sew everything.  She also recovered the glider.

The dresser has special meaning, it used to be my dad's so we refinished it and painted it white.  I spray painted the mirror and added pictures on each side that I took of her.

We don't use the bumpers....they are just for the picture.

We love the chandelier...it adds a girly touch to the room.

Monthly picture

We are using cloth diapers and LOVE them.

She is the best baby.  Sleeps 8-10 hours a night in her crib.  She is really happy most of the time.  She is smiling, laughing, cooing, and rolling over.  We are in awe of her. She is the light of our lives!!!!

Sorry to keep you in suspense but I waited to post this because the papers were JUST now signed.....26 DAYS after birth!  We were originally told that the birth pare.nts could sign the TPR after 72 hours (3 days).  Well we didn't find out till we got here that the signing has to be done if front of a judge.  The state we are in is small and they don't have court everyday.  The lawyers have also slowed the process down because they are idiots.  Anyway it has been scary to have this amazing little girl in our custody for the last 4 weeks but know in the back of our head she could be taken from us.  We are angry that this has gone down this way but we aren't letting it take away from our experience.  We just kept reminding ourselves that we have waited 4 years for her and we would rather be stuck in a different state WITH her than at home WITHOUT her. 




Thankfully we are very close with the BP's and knew they weren't going to change their mind.  We have been with our daughter from the moment she was born, and we got to take her home from the hospital 30 hours after she was born.  The BP's come over and visit with us and spend time with our little one.  They made us a home cooked meal the day after we were released from the hospital.  They are AMAZING people and we love them like our family.  The birth mo.ther said she felt like our surrogate.  She always thought of this as our daughter.  She loves seeing us be parents and half jokingly said she wants to give us another baby in a few years!!! 

ICPC had been cleared by the state we are in but we have to wait till Monday to get the OK from our home state.  We should be home sometime this week.  We will be sad to leave the the birth pa.rents BUT we are so ready to leave this state and get home!  It has been such a great time for just the 3 of us to bond but we have lots of people dying to me our daughter.  We love our little girl more than life......she was definitely worth the wait!

Or less if she comes early!!!  I had a mini freak out last night because we are so close and I can't believe this is really happening.  We have been sad and disappointed so much in the last 4 years that it feels unimaginable that we might actually get our happy ending.  I am also doing the normal new mom panic and second guessing my motherly skills.  I want this more than anything and I have so much expereince with kids but its going to be totally different.  DH brought me these flowers and card today.Click on the picture to read the card.  He is so wonderful!!

 
We are scared about the unknown but we feel really good about the birth parents.  We have a great relationship with them.  We talk on the phone, Skype, text, and email.  They are so amazing and seem REALLY confident about their adoption plan but we are still aware they could change their mind.  We aren't living in fear though, we have jumped in with all our hearts, we owe that to ourselves.  We already love this little girl so much its crazy.
The agency specialist told us she has never seen such an amazing relationship in the 10 years she has been at the agency.  The birth parents want us to be a part of everything.  It's almost like she's our surrogate because of the amount of involvement we've had.
 
  
They give us updates after every Dr. appointment and let us be a part of every decision relating to the baby because ..."You are her parents, you should get to enjoy every aspect"!!!!  They even sent me a "push present". The birth mother said even though I am not pregnant I am the baby's mother and I should get a gift. It was a beautiful Willow statue. It' a tradition in her family to get one of these when you give birth so she wanted me to have one because I am like family to her. Isn't that so sweet!!!


We Skyped for 3 hours last week because they wanted us to help them make the birth plan.  We only talked about the actual birth plan for 15 minutes, the rest of the time was just talking and getting to know each other.  They want us to be in the delivery room, DH to cut the cord, me to hold the baby first, and we will have our own room in the hospital and will be able to keep our daughter with us at all times. 

We feel so incredibly lucky to be in this situation.  It could be any day now!!!

There is a petition going around to have the Adoption Tax Credit extended through 2013 and make it refundable for 2012 and 2013.

Click here to read about it and sign the petition. Please pass this information along to everyone you know.......this could help so many adoptive families.

Thanks

I heard this song on the radio two hours prior to our "matc.h" call. It's called "A Thou.sand Years" by Chri.stina Perri. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00
It's apparently from the Twili.ght movie about a love story but the lyrics spoke to me about how I feel about our child that we have been wanting for 4 years. I had to pull my car over because I wanted to write down the singer's name. Two hours later we got the call!!! Its my new favorite song. This is the chorus.....

I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a Thou.sand years
I'll love you for a Thou.sand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought Your heart to me
I have loved you for a Thou.sand years
I'll love you for a Thou.sand more

I guess I am not the only who felt this song relates to adoption because it will be sung on an CBS sp.ecial "A Home for the Hol.idays" tonight about adoption and foster care.  If you are interested in adoption, in the process or have already adopted I think its worth tuning in.   

We got the call 2 weeks ago.  We have talked to the birth mother and birth father twice already for more than 3 hours.  We have also e-mailed a few times.  They are amazing people and are alot like DH & I.  I am not going to share information about them except that they are thrilled to have found us (we of course feel the same) and they want us to be a part of EVERYTHING.  She is 6.5 months pregnant and her due date is March 7th.  

The baby didn't cooperate at the BM's (birth mother) 18 weeks ultrasound so she didn't know the gender.  She offered to go get a 3D ultrasound and gender check if we wanted to know.  We couldn't resist so a few days ago she had an ultrasound and DH and I got to watch it LIVE on our computer.  She lives many states away but technology allowed us to be able to see our baby moving on the screen!!!  It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen.  A few minutes into the ultrasound the BF (birth father) said into the microphone.......IT'S A GIRL!!!!

I lost it.  Sobbing, screaming, hugging DH.  We secretly wanted a girl but obviously 4 years into infertility would be happy with a boy or girl.  Having a girl is the icing on the cake though!!  Our BM is sending us a DVD of the ultrasound and 20 pictures of our little girl!!!  She already email us one picture to tide us over until we get the rest in the mail. 


We feel so lucky to have met this amazing couple and to be able to be a part of the next 12 weeks of our baby' s life.  We were not expecting this involvement since its not the norm in adoption.   We are also going to be in the room when our baby is born!!!

The birth parents seem very confident in their decision, but you never know. We understand things change in adoption but it's so hard to guard our hearts at this point.  We are already so invested.    We are celebrating and are beyond ecstatic!!!