My friend came over from Wigan today and we did some shopping and had some lunch then sat outside a pub and had a few drinks (soft drinks of course). Before we knew it it was time for her to get the train home and I am now relaxing.

I bought some rose bushes from Woolie for a £1 each and need to plant them so may go out and do that in a bit now the sun has set and I might water my plants after the lovely hot day we had today.

Feel apprehensive about work tomorrow as the new system is in and whilst I was great when we did the role play when I was practising on my own yesterday I seemed to struggle. Fingers crossed I get by ok, I know I wont be on my own we are all in the same boat but I dont think I can remember anything!

Been on earlies this weekend, only 8 hour shifts though so not too bad. Finished work at 4pm yesterday and as I had made a chilli during my break I got stuck straight into painting the bathroom. Had a bath, had my tea and then did my ironing. So I managed to complete the 5 items on my motivational list and slighlty more besides. I was shattered though be 9pm and nodded off watching tv. I really do push myself far too hard.

My friend is coming over from wigan on wednesday and I do so want the bathroom to be finished by then but I doubt its going to happen. Tomorrow night I will need to tidy the house up and I just wont have the energy left by then. It will look presentable anyway.

My five items for this week are:

1. Pamper myself for one night
2. Sort all my items for sale on ebay (there are lots)
3. Declutter my airing cupboard (who needs over a dozen duvet sets)
4. Finish the bathroom and "dress" the room
5. Go to the gym and get some exercise

Less than last week but I think I deserve it with only having one day off.

Work has been ok, I seem to be getting on fine with everyone now. Its amazing how things can be misunderstood and I agree talking is the best policy but sometimes its very hard to say to someone "do you have a problem with me". Most of the time they will feel put on the spot and therefore say "no". Sometimes your not ready to hear what they have to say. I am ready for anything now.

The nights are getting lighter and apart from one visit a few weeks ago I have not seen my hedgehogs. I do hope they have been creeping in the garden and that before long I will hear the heady noise of them mating (they make a racket I can tell you)

My good mate is moving nearer to me and I cant wait. We used to work together behind the bar many years ago and at the time I was tall and skinny (god I wish I still was, skinny not tall) and she was little and dumpy (sorry K) but we would tell everyone that we were sisters. She came to visit me once in hospital and when it was time to go she sat on a chair with a curtain just covering her face so the staff would not see her and chase her out. She got a cup of tea when they found her. Think they took pity on her with her seeming a bit deranged lol....she brought me a large card signed by the regulars in the pub. They signed things like "two pints of bitter" or larger and bitter etc and we both knew exactly who they were from the orders. Wonder what happened to that card.

Anyway I will stop going down memory lane for now and go and watch some tv before my final day at work before my one rest day. New computor system is being installed across the county at 3am on friday morning, it will be a nightmare so no calling the emergency services in a hurry....

Feeling brighter today, worked till four, shot to Asda then came home to paint the bathroom walls! Thats the trouble with spring it makes everywhere look dull. I then jumped into the shower and went to the chinese for a takeaway. Going to watch some tv just now and plan my day tomorrow. I have yet to do my ironing which is taking over my bedroom now. I need to finish the bathroom and do my ironing as priorities everything else can wait. I have wednesday and thursday off this week and my friend is coming to visit on wednesday and thursday I am working 5 hours overtime so I wont have much time left for little old me. I need to start the gym again as well as I am forever expanding and can see me turning into my my and that was not good.

I am feeling a bit low today, the sun was shining and I had the day off but now I feel a bit low. I met my friend for late breakfast and we had a natter, not done this with her for ages only ever spoken to her of late when she was at work in the local supermarket. She sent me a nice text afterwards saying she had enjoyed our morning and looking forward to the next which was nice. I then popped into the local DIY store and for the second time this week bumped into a male friend of mine Martin. We met on an internet dating site a couple of years back and hit it off on our first night out which was to a friends 40th wedding party. For some reason the moment passed between us and we have remained just friends ever since. Although he lives in the same town we have never bumped into each other in all the time we have known each other and then today twice in one week. Why I am telling you this I dont know but I think it started me on the what could have been thoughts and although we have now totally gone in different directions it could have been good or is he better as a mate??? we email each other almost every day to catch up on things, he helps with advice for tradesmen, consumer items etc and prepared to do wood work jobs if I ask him. He has never refused to help in some way (not when I have been weeping and wailing mind you). I guess because the sun is out and all my mates have partners I am starting to feel the pinch so to speak....hopefully it will pass....

I am still trying to find my way around on here and for those of you that have been commenting on my blog dont think I am ignoring you for some reason it wont let me reply. I need to speak to my little sis Kate to explain where I am going wrong. I will sort it soon and get chatting.

My list of motivational things is not getting any lower but tomorrow I may be able to cross a few off. Really it should be of nice things that we should do for ourselves instead of chores. I might try that next monday.

Life is ok for me just now, only blip on the horizon is seeing my daughter at work, NEVER encourge your children to work in the same company as you heed my word.

Tomorrow morning I am going for a blood test, I have been suffering from weak limbs and muscles for some time but its getting worse and worse. I dread carrying anything as I dont know if I will manage it and before I tried to get up from the bath and I did not think I was going to make it, my arms are so weak. Strange thing is my sister who lives down south is suffering very similar symptoms and I have only just found out she has been having tests. I wonder if it is something genetic she thinks its viral, but mine has gone on far too long and is progressing.

I have really enjoyed getting back in touch with my friends, having breakfast/lunch with one tomorrow, she is in a similar position to me with one of her kids so we will moan together and know that we are not alone. The friend whose 50th birthday party I missed is coming over next wednesday and we are going to shop and I will treat her to lunch for missing her do. Then the following week I am going to the pictures with another friend. Its lovely to have friends. Oh by the way Kate do you realise you are my oldest (in time not age) friend it must be 25 years or thereabouts. Do we get to celebrate golden oldies!

I am shattered, walked into work this morning (in heels) calling at the post office on the way to post some parcels and tax my car (its gone up again). Worked for 10 hours and then walked home (still in heels). Had a quick shower, made some tea, sorted all the animals and the squirrel watched corrie from last night and now its time for bed! Work takes over my life.

Saw my brat of a child with her "fancy" man laughing as if she does not have a care in the world. I really hope she doesn't have any cares but it still hurts to think she can put a work mate before her mam....never mind life goes on.

So far I have only done one item on my list of 5 motivational things for this week. Will complete them all I promise.

Glad to see my boys Manchester United won their match this evening...not sure who I want them to play in the final the jury is still out on that one. They slogged their guts out in the last few minutes, god bless Scholes....

I will have to drag my sorry ass to bed now as my whole body is starting to sieze up and pretty soon I wont make it up the stairs. Been to the doc and she did listen to me, having a barrage of blood tests to see whats going on. She said they may end up testing for MS but need to rule other things out first. They lied when they said life begins at 40 I am nearly 50 and it all went down hill from 40....

night night folks

After reading Chrisb's blog I am going to list five things to achieve this week:

1. Pull the weeds up from under the bird table
2. Meet up with my old work mate for lunch and a natter
3. Get the doctor to listen when I tell her my symptoms instead of being rushed and forgetting half of them until I walk out the door.
4. My ironing (well everyone else seems to be doing theirs)
5. Take time to sit with my cats and give them a good brush for the spring

Not very taxing I agree but its a step in the right direction.