I walked into a local coffee shop today to start writing a financial analysis paper that was due last Wednesday. It’s Mothers’ Day, so the usual patrons are probably off with their mothers at brunch or something, which means this place is particularly empty today. My favorite time to visit–when no one else is there. Don’t worry–I have dinner plans with mom later.
The one guy here making coffee is a 20-something ginger who, now that I think of it, fits perfectly in Colorado. I don’t know how to describe what that means to me except that the person I imagine him to be is more liberal than conservative, listens to Young the Giant and Cage the Elephant or some other quasi-mainstream indie-rock bands, has a frat-boy fridge full of condiments and beer, and probably doesn’t know how to meaningfully engage a woman in real conversation.
It turns out he’s been here for the past three years, working only once a week because he loves it. He asked me what I was studying, and when I told him management and leadership, he said, “You can come manage this place,” with a laugh. I asked him what he would change if he could. He turns around with a laundry list of things like organization, inventory management, HR notes. I laughed, “So you’ve given this some thought?”
The rest of his work time he spends at a car dealership up the street–this is the one that pays the bills. Instantly, when he revealed he spent most of his work time selling cars, I understood where his obnoxiously loud–yet fake–laugh came from. This gregarious façade of extraversion whenever a customer walks the door (even more over the top if he knows them personally) screams insecure at best, disingenuous at worst. In my experience, people like this are usually quite sad and unsatisfied with life, hiding behind a public face of joy.
So, as I sit here callously analyzing him as though he were just another soulless lab rat (and not a human being with feelings), I think about whether I, too, have as stark a difference between the public me and the private me. I take great pride in being true to myself, being honest and straightforward–even when it hurts, and being REAL. I’m sure there are some character traits that I water down a bit, consciously or not, in different circumstances, but for the most part, I never feel like I’m behaving like someone I’m not. It’s uncomfortable to do and perhaps even more uncomfortable to watch. Times like these, I want to shake him and tell him to just let go.
So I reflected on this with the ambient noise of discussion in the background. I was the only student who had checked every box in a worksheet based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, implying I am more self aware and have most of my needs met in order to seek self actualization. On another worksheet, I was the only one who identified more with the Need for Power (as defined by David McClelland) over Achievement or Affiliation–this being characterized by a need for recognition, winning arguments, competition, and influencing others. To oversimplify, those of us motivated by power seek personal prestige and constantly better personal status.
REFLECT 