dharma geezer

 Tuesday, 1 April 2008

IMPORTANT NOTICE: This blog has been outsourced. We hope that you will continue to enjoy the excellent service provided by our new contractors in the subcontinent.


Famous London: The Big Ben
Hello my name is Trevor. When we think of London it is impossible to do without The Big Ben. This is a large tower built by the fair hand of Queen Victoria, and it sticks up in the middle of the city to be seen far and wide. The Big Ben is even taller than the Taj Mahal, and we all know how big that is. And The Big Ben is brown. Not many famous world towers are brown, so this makes it very special indeed. All the senators and lords who run the country live in The Big Ben, and they meet every day in a big room on the top floor to pass the laws of the land. Then at eleven o'clock precisely bong! The ringing of The Big Ben calls the royal horses from the stables for the Changing of Guard. Her Majesty Elizabeth stands on her balcony and decides which of her guards she wants to change. The losing ones have to go back to work as poor people, and the new ones win a furry hat.

If you go to London you must always have your photograph taken with The Big Ben. This is the law. Every day visitors go to West Minister to stand by the red telephone box with the best view. Sometimes the queues are three miles long. But the wait is always worth while, and how we love to see the photographic results in emails and blogs worldwide. No trip to London is complete without a walk to the top of The Big Ben. There are 3000 steps to the viewing platform just above the clock, or you can take the escalators. From the top there are panoramic views over London almost as far as Stonehenge, and you can buy tea towels and marmalade from the special souvenir shop. All this for just 250 rupees! Oh yes, The Big Ben, it is special indeed.

posted 08:05

Eat London: The Taj Sahib Restaurant
Hello my name is Miriam. I know readers of the Geezer are always wondering where to have dinner. Well wonder no longer. There is a great restaurant in Bricklane and it is called the Taj Sahib. You cannot miss it. It's the one with two men standing outside inviting you urgently inside. Be welcomed to your seat with a warming naan, and rest your weary slippers. Two for one offers and special deals are always available at the Taj Sahib. Curry is a speciality, of course, and the balti is hot and spicy. And we have an excellent bonus for you. Just tell my cousin Jahar that you have seen this review on the Geezer and he will give you extra chapatis. And he will give me new bicycle if enough of you go, so please go.

But be careful when you visit. The streets of London are full of the hoodie youth and girls with knives. It is inhuman and it is sad and we are reading about it all the time in the foreign press. We do not understand why the youth are breaking down like this but maybe it is the free oyster and the bendy bus. It must be very scary for you, oh people of London. So be sure to go to Bricklane when all the devil's children are at school. Or maybe wait a few more months and they will all have been locked up in the Tower of London. Or sacrificed.

posted 00:04

Transport Talking Point: Chaos on Line 2
Hello my name is Lionel. There is only one transport topic in the office this week and that is the terrible conditions at Vishwa Vidyalaya Underground Station. Honestly, do they think we're goats or something? The overcrowding is really severe, especially when Delhi University lectures finish and all the students come pouring out. Several people have been seen climbing onto the train roof, which is in direct contravention of Metro Rail Corporation regulations paragraph 14b. The situation on Line 2 is getting intolerable.

Yesterday there were huge queues at the smart-card gates, and when the General Secretariat train came it was packed. I had to squeeze in between an old man carrying a stuffed tiger and a lady with a giant embroidered bag. By the time the train reached Kashmere Gate I'd lost all sensation in my left arm, and by Patel Chowk I was semi-comatose. If it's like this now, imagine how it'll be when the monsoon comes and everyone smells of umbrella.

posted 00:03

Ask Geezer: interactive customer hotline
Hello my name is Rita. Now at Geezer we try to answer your London questions. Press 1 for questions about Buckingham Place, press 2 for questions about Harrods, and press 3 for all other questions. I am sorry but I did not understand your request please try again.

posted 00:02

লন্ডন
লন্ডনের দুটি দূরবর্তী বিন্দুর মধ্যবর্তী সর্বোচ্চ দূরত্ব প্রায় ৩০ মাইল। এর আয়তন ১৬১০ বর্গ কিমি (৬২০ বর্গ মা)। এই সুবৃহৎ শহরাঞ্চলটি ৩৩টি রাজনৈতিক এককে বিভক্ত। কেন্দ্রে অবস্থিত সিটি অফ লন্ডন ছাড়াও রয়েছে অধীনস্থ ৩২টি বরো। কেন্দ্রীয় অঞ্চলটিকে মধ্য লন্ডন নামে ডাকা হয় যার বেশির ভাগ অঞ্চলই টেম্‌স নদীর উত্তরে একটি মৃদুমন্দ ঢালু এলাকায় অবস্থিত। এই ঢালুটি আবার আরও উত্তর দিকে গিয়ে উঠতে শুরু করেছে। ৩৩টি রাজনৈতিক এককের মধ্যে ১২টিই এই মধ্যভাগে অবস্থিত যার মধ্যে রয়েছে সিটি অফ লন্ডন, সিটি অফ ওয়েস্টমিন্‌স্টার এবং পশ্চিম প্রান্তের জেলাসমূহ। সিটি অফ লন্ডন হচ্ছে লন্ডন শহরের প্রথাগত ও রাজনৈতিক কেন্দ্র আর সিটি অফ ওয়েস্টমিন্‌স্টার হল জাতীয় সরকারের দফ্‌তর ও মূল আসন। যতই প্রান্তের দিকে যাওয়া যায় জীবনযাত্রার উচ্চ মান ও চাকচিক্য ততই কমতে থাকে।

posted 00:01